Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Clueless

We're in a van

by Ninja-on-the-run 1 review

"Idiot! We're not in Starbucks anymore! We're in a stranger's van! We're being freaking kidnapped!"

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Fantasy,Humor - Characters: Frank Iero,Mikey Way - Published: 2012-04-21 - Updated: 2012-04-22 - 1052 words

Chapter Two; We're in a van

The armed trio got the knocked out Mikey and Frank and threw them into the back of the van. They slammed the doors and got in the front, putting the van in ignition and stepping on the pedal like their life depended on it. Well, it didn't really depended on it, but they still stepped on it.

A few moments later, they had gotten out of Downtown Los Angeles. They reduced the speed and turned on their music. For the heck of it, they put some Green Day, their hit album American Idiot to be precise.

But since Frank had Green Day sense, once he heard the first few words of American Idiot, he stirred and woke up with a groan. His head hurt like hell and he seriously wanted to take a nap in the break room.

Frank yawned and sat up a bit, rubbing his eyes and taking in his surroundings. He took a look around until he realized something; he wasn't in the broken Starbucks anymore.

"What in the-Oh shit." Frank turned around a few times, making sure he wasn't seeing things. Nope. He was in the rear of a van, the floors bare and carpeted. The carpet was soft too...

"Oh shit" he said with a gulp. He didn't own a van and neither did Mikey.

Speaking of the bassist...

"Mikey. Mikey, wake up," Frank said to his best friend, who was snoring lightly and curled into a small little ball.

"Nggh. Five more minutes Gee," mumbled Mikey.

"Mikey," Frank tried again.

"I don't want to go to school Ma," grumbled Mikey, covering his head with his arms.

"Mikey frigging Way, wake up" Frank smacked the back of his friend's head.

Mikey yawned. "I told you Ma, I don't wanna go to school," he mumbled.

"Mikey, I ain't your mom," said Frank.

"huh?" Mikey opened his eyes. "Oh crap! Sorry Frank!"

"Forget that. Take a look around. What do you see?" asked Frank.

Mikey looked around. "I see... some carpet, you, and a wall. Why?" asked Mikey.

Frank groaned and did a face palm. Mikey was a bit of a derp when he barely woke up. But he usually recomposed to his normal self in about ten minutes.

"Where are we in?" asked Frank.

"How should I know?" asked Mikey, yawning.

Frank huffed and rubbed his temples. Out of all the most unobservant people in the world, he had to be with Mikey in a situation like this.

"Mikes, we're in a van! Do you have any idea of what that means?" asked Frank.

" means we're in a van Frank. The answer is in the question," replied Mikey nonchalantly.

"Idiot! We're not in Starbucks anymore! We're in a stranger's van! We're being freaking kidnapped!" exclaimed Frank.

By the time Frank had said kidnapped, Mikey had reverted to his normal self. "Kidnapped? What in the world makes you say that?" he asked with a frown.

"Don't you see?! We're in a van that's gonna probably takes us out into the bay and ship us to a foreign country! Then they're gonna hold us for ransom and do who knows what with our homes and possessions! They might sell it on eBay! Or Amazon! Who's gonna feed my dogs? And my ferret? Sparkie doesn't deserve this! OH GOD! PANSY! WHAT AM I GONNA DO?! Mikey, don't you see? WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" Frank began panicking, similar to the panic attack he had in at Starbucks.

Mikey blinked a few times and sighed. "Frank, we're not getting kidnapped..." he said with a sigh.

Frank flailed and grabbed Mikey's shoulders. "Then why the hell are we in a stranger's van?!" he exclaimed.

"Maybe we fell asleep at a friend's house and Gee sent a friend to get us home," said Mikey calmly.

"Asleep?! Look! We're both wearing our aprons!" Frank pointed to Mikey. Surely enough, they both had their Starbucks aprons on.

"Maybe we took a nap at Starbucks," shrugged Mikey.

Frank raged and hit the back of Mikey's head. "Don't you remember?! They took Karen!" he said, almost shouting.


It all made sense now.

"Wait, so you're saying that people actually came into Starbucks and kidnapped Karen?" asked Mikey.


"Oh my God, that wasn't a dream," Mikey's face went pale.

"Now what do we do?! You're the smart one!" said Frank.

"I don't know! I never thought I'd get kidnapped. Okay, well, what do we got?" asked Mikey.

"What do you mean 'what do we got?'" asked Frank.

"Resources dumbass! Something that can help us!" said Mikey.

"Geesh, calm down you coffee whore! Let me check," Frank dug into his pockets and began emptying its contents. "I have a rubber band, some gum, cigarettes, a lighter, a Jack Skellington wristband, some pieces of paper, a Coke lid, a green apple flavored Jolly Rancher....a feather?"

Mikey blinked a few times. "A feather?" he asked.

"Moving on!" Frank tossed the feather aside. "I have a 7 Eleven receipt, a safety pin and....Oh thank God! My cell phone!" exclaimed Frank.

"Hallelujah!" exclaimed Mikey happily.

"Aw dammit! No battery!" cursed Frank.

"Oh God, help me please," moaned Mikey.

"Well, what do you have?" asked Frank.

Mikey recomposed himself and began emptying his pockets. "Car keys, a book mark, a receipt from Barnes & Noble, a few paper clips...Yes! My phone!" Mikey pulled out his phone gleefully.

"Does it work?" asked Frank eagerly.

Mikey touched the screen. No service. His smile dropped.

"No service." he said.

They both groaned and fell onto the carpeted floor of the van.

"Well, now what?" asked Frank.

Mikey shrugged. "I guess we wait."

"Hell no! I ain't gonna wait so we can get kidnapped!" Frank shot up forward.

"Frank, we can't do anything about this," said Mikey.

"Yeah we can! We can kick our kidnapper's ass!" Frank popped his knuckles.

"No, we aren't going to kick anyone's ass. We will negotiate calmly and ask what they want with us," said Mikey.

Just then, the van froze to a stop, making both employees jump. They heard some shuffling of footsteps and some words being exchanged. Soon, the back of the van opened.

The trio who had gotten them stood before them.

With some AK-47 and rope.

This was gonna get interesting....
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