Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Flase Justice
Chapter Five
I stared ahead at him. Scared out of my mind of the lack of things to say. I didn't have anything to tell but the fear of being put back into that darkness overwhelmed me. I could still see those eyes every time I blinked. I could still feel the cold touch and hear that ragged breathing. I knew it was going to stay with me, the way that scars always do, the way that my memory didn't.
"Well?" He asked, patiently drumming his fingers on the desks surface. There was a computer on his desk and a photo frame. I knew what I'd see if I turned that frame around. Cheesy smiles and hugs would abound in that image, wouldn't it?
I scratched at my arms, felt uncomfortable suddenly as my mind went blank. One of those moments when you'd die for your mind to just spew something up and yet it always failed you.
"I remember waking up....I remember that the door, it was locked from the outside." I said all that I did truly remember. I knew that would only make him upset. He had read my case file, had read the things I did remember. This wouldn't satisfy him, he wanted something fabricated.
"I know that already...but what was it that you remembered while in isolation?" He pressed, growing impatient then.
My brows furrowed. I had always been in isolation, hadn't I? That darkness had just been torture. What was next the rack?
"She said something to me...I don't know when. It was a fragment, something passing..." I swallowed harshly and tried hard not to suppress it.
"What was it?" He leaned forward, his face intelligent.
"She told me to kill her." I pushed it out and bit my tongue afterwards. Did this pass as some sort of confession? I didn't want to end up being another Michael Crowe.
He sat back with a heave and folded his hands across his stomach. "That's good." He said as if some sort of breakthrough had been shown to him. Was this even about curing the insane anymore?
"Everything comes to me in flashes...like it doesn't want me to remember." I looked down, letting my eyes travel over the tiled ground and the black shoes on my feet.
"Well we will change that." He declared almost triumphantly. He pressed the intercom button and looked up at me. There was pride in his face. "I think David is ready to be out of isolation for awhile...he's seems to be adapting very well." He smiled a little and just watched me until the door opened.
The orderly entered and went to the desk waitingly. "What would you like me to do with him, Dr. Lawrence?"
The doctor looked at me a moment and then back to the orderly. "Let him eat in the cafeteria today and put him in a bigger and more comfortable room."
The orderly lowered himself to the doctor as if he needed to hide something from a patient who no one would ever believe. "Did you get anything?"
"A little bit but we'll get more...we'll just wait a couple more days until we try something new." Dr. Lawrence gave a small nod of assurance and then a gesture for the orderly to get moving.
The feeling of getting off my chair felt like it did when you got your check after long hours of work. I could have smiled when the orderly led me out of the room but something hit me just as the door shut. If the doctor believed that dark room had helped reboot my memory than that meant he would go to greater lengths to get the rest of the memories I couldn't remember. And that was the scariest damned thought I ever had.
I stared ahead at him. Scared out of my mind of the lack of things to say. I didn't have anything to tell but the fear of being put back into that darkness overwhelmed me. I could still see those eyes every time I blinked. I could still feel the cold touch and hear that ragged breathing. I knew it was going to stay with me, the way that scars always do, the way that my memory didn't.
"Well?" He asked, patiently drumming his fingers on the desks surface. There was a computer on his desk and a photo frame. I knew what I'd see if I turned that frame around. Cheesy smiles and hugs would abound in that image, wouldn't it?
I scratched at my arms, felt uncomfortable suddenly as my mind went blank. One of those moments when you'd die for your mind to just spew something up and yet it always failed you.
"I remember waking up....I remember that the door, it was locked from the outside." I said all that I did truly remember. I knew that would only make him upset. He had read my case file, had read the things I did remember. This wouldn't satisfy him, he wanted something fabricated.
"I know that already...but what was it that you remembered while in isolation?" He pressed, growing impatient then.
My brows furrowed. I had always been in isolation, hadn't I? That darkness had just been torture. What was next the rack?
"She said something to me...I don't know when. It was a fragment, something passing..." I swallowed harshly and tried hard not to suppress it.
"What was it?" He leaned forward, his face intelligent.
"She told me to kill her." I pushed it out and bit my tongue afterwards. Did this pass as some sort of confession? I didn't want to end up being another Michael Crowe.
He sat back with a heave and folded his hands across his stomach. "That's good." He said as if some sort of breakthrough had been shown to him. Was this even about curing the insane anymore?
"Everything comes to me in flashes...like it doesn't want me to remember." I looked down, letting my eyes travel over the tiled ground and the black shoes on my feet.
"Well we will change that." He declared almost triumphantly. He pressed the intercom button and looked up at me. There was pride in his face. "I think David is ready to be out of isolation for awhile...he's seems to be adapting very well." He smiled a little and just watched me until the door opened.
The orderly entered and went to the desk waitingly. "What would you like me to do with him, Dr. Lawrence?"
The doctor looked at me a moment and then back to the orderly. "Let him eat in the cafeteria today and put him in a bigger and more comfortable room."
The orderly lowered himself to the doctor as if he needed to hide something from a patient who no one would ever believe. "Did you get anything?"
"A little bit but we'll get more...we'll just wait a couple more days until we try something new." Dr. Lawrence gave a small nod of assurance and then a gesture for the orderly to get moving.
The feeling of getting off my chair felt like it did when you got your check after long hours of work. I could have smiled when the orderly led me out of the room but something hit me just as the door shut. If the doctor believed that dark room had helped reboot my memory than that meant he would go to greater lengths to get the rest of the memories I couldn't remember. And that was the scariest damned thought I ever had.
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