Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Pain is Beautiful
Nightmares
1 reviewGerard still has traumatic nightmares of his past relationship with Frankie. But, why? What could've been so negative?
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Once again, I had awoken with Frankie on my mind.
I'd been having a dream about him. It was a dream of what had started out as one of my fondest memories of him. We were in his apartment. In bed. The afternoon sun spilled through the blinds and kissed our naked bodies. We hadn't known each other very long, but we were comfortable together. I wasn't the type to be so at ease with my body, but I'd walked around his apartment many times completely naked. He always did have a calming, reassuring effect on me.
The dream suddenly changed as the sun went down. His face twisted into a scowl. He turned toward me and spoke with a terrifying coldness.
"Why are you here?"
I didn't answer in my shock. I couldn't bring the words to my lips.
"Why the fuck are you here?? I don't want you here. You need to leave. Right now."
Frankie closed the door in my face and I walked to my car trying to maintain dignity. Then, as I shut my car door, I broke down. Tears streaming from my eyes. I couldn't catch my breath I was sobbing so hard. The sobs were attacking my chest.
I started driving and rain was pelting my windshield, impairing my vision even more than my own unstoppable tears. My dream ended as I saw headlights coming straight toward me. Breaks squealing and tires spinning.
I had jolted to awareness, covered in sweat and with a terrible headache.
God, when would these dreams stop? These memories torture me. Not because they are terrible, but because they were real. Memories of how I tried so hard to make us work, but failed so miserably.
Right now, I still see Frankie every day in my college classes. He sits right next to me. As I inhale his scent, my heart breaks all over. When the class ends, he walks away. When will this be better? What can I do to make this better?
I'd been having a dream about him. It was a dream of what had started out as one of my fondest memories of him. We were in his apartment. In bed. The afternoon sun spilled through the blinds and kissed our naked bodies. We hadn't known each other very long, but we were comfortable together. I wasn't the type to be so at ease with my body, but I'd walked around his apartment many times completely naked. He always did have a calming, reassuring effect on me.
The dream suddenly changed as the sun went down. His face twisted into a scowl. He turned toward me and spoke with a terrifying coldness.
"Why are you here?"
I didn't answer in my shock. I couldn't bring the words to my lips.
"Why the fuck are you here?? I don't want you here. You need to leave. Right now."
Frankie closed the door in my face and I walked to my car trying to maintain dignity. Then, as I shut my car door, I broke down. Tears streaming from my eyes. I couldn't catch my breath I was sobbing so hard. The sobs were attacking my chest.
I started driving and rain was pelting my windshield, impairing my vision even more than my own unstoppable tears. My dream ended as I saw headlights coming straight toward me. Breaks squealing and tires spinning.
I had jolted to awareness, covered in sweat and with a terrible headache.
God, when would these dreams stop? These memories torture me. Not because they are terrible, but because they were real. Memories of how I tried so hard to make us work, but failed so miserably.
Right now, I still see Frankie every day in my college classes. He sits right next to me. As I inhale his scent, my heart breaks all over. When the class ends, he walks away. When will this be better? What can I do to make this better?
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