FicWad

Massive AU, before Ulquiorra becomes an Espada and Aizen enters Soul Society. Both are still humans at this time. I own nothing but the plot line.

what do you do when everyone you've ever given a damn about leaves you? Especially when you can't go on without them? And they leave you when you need them the most? And you're left with nothing?

If you're strong enough you go on. Even if you have to see them everyday, you go on pretending that it doesn't hurt you like hell, like you're being continuously stabbed in the chest with a rust spoon and are walking on shards of broken glass and razorblades that cut you to the bone. You put on a brave emotionless mask and soldier on.

But you see, I've never been strong, and now, I never will. To be completely honest, the people I cared for and loved, they were my life, my very heartbeat, the air in my lungs, my strength, everything. Without them, I have no heart. Everyone's saying that I'm still alive. But truth be told, thats a lie.

For starters, this band Short Stack says that alive is just a letter with a lie. I looked into it, and its true. They really do have a song that says that, I think it's called "Rain on Her Parade".

Physically alive, yeah. But otherwise? No. These days, they can fake vital signs. Machines can pump air into your lungs, and they have little artificial hearts that keep your blood flowing. My heart no longer exists. Even if you have no brain waves, they still think you?re alive, even if everything is being regulated by machines.

I'm sorry for everything and everyone that I've ever hurt. I just can't go on like this.

Finishing typing the message, Ulquiorra pressed the button that sent it to everyone he'd ever cared about. A smile twitched at his mouth and he whispered, "Goodbye, I'm sorry." into the empty room even if there was nobody there to hear it. He grabbed the scissors that lay beside his keyboard. They were as long as his forearm, with a lethally sharp point. He was certain that they( do the gruesome job he had in mind for them. . He felt their heavy weight, and watched the way the bluish light from the screen dance off the long, silvery blades. A single tear slid down his cheek, another momentarily coming out the other, mirroring it.

"This is what it] come to." He said, again to no one in particular. There was, once again, no one there to hear him. Deciding to do it before he lost his nerve, he plunged the scissors into his chest, as if to finally be rid of the heart that he no longer believed he had. He felt the biting pain and the sudden chill. A pool of blood began to grow beneath him, and he slowly began to lose feeling in his arms and legs. His final thought was surprisingly lacking in emotion, being only, "This is the end."

in a house maybe a mile away, Aizen woke up from a horrible nightmare, screaming "No, Ulquiorra, don't do it!"

After a few minutes of calming down, Aizen glanced around his room. He saw his computer showed a new email. It was from Ulquiorra. The subjecct line only held 2 words, but they were enough to strike fear into Aizen's heart. "Goodbye Forever" it read.