Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Speechless
Guardians
Gerard's POV
Depressed.
Depression.
Emotionally unstable.
Mentally unwell.
Depression.
Depressed.
Mikey Way.
Best friend.
Baby brother.
All the same thing, according to the doctor. The same one who diagnosed Mikey’s muteness back when we realised Mikes isn’t just a late bloomer unable to speak a word at the age of four.
I can remember it as though it were yesterday, the day that I got in from school after doing a macaroni picture in art class for my little brother to hang on his wall to find Mom crying and holding a very distressed looking toddler in her lap; the day that I realised being Mikey’s big brother was going to be a lot harder than I thought. At first I didn’t understand, just thought that Mikes was stupid or trying to steal my momma’s attention away from me, but I soon saw that he’s just as smart as everyone else. Smarter than most, actually.
Today’s kinda like that day twelve years ago, apart from I’m the one holding a distressed Mikey in my lap as he wheezes himself into a fitful sleep, head nestled into my chest like a baby bunny in it’s burrow. We’ve been sat like it since we got in; comforter and the comforted glued to one another as though letting go is a sin that we actually care about committing. In fact, the idea of letting go of my baby brother’s resting body makes any thoughts of carrying out homicide pale in comparison.
Because now he feels even more alienated than ever before, after writing out all of his feelings and thoughts to the doctor only to be diagnosed with clinical depression. Don’t get me wrong, I’m devastated that the kid has to cope with that on top of everything else, but at the same time I can’t begin to describe how relieved I am that he’s finally getting the help he so clearly needs. That he’s only getting because I forced him into going because I finally had enough of letting him cry himself out in his room all the time, even if the majority of those times he’s got the calming company of Brendon Urie in there with him.
Hence the fact that Bren’s here now, sat on the living room carpet and looking up at my brother with broken eyes. It’s ridiculously cute, if I’m going to be honest, the way that he’s like some baby puppy waiting for his master to return from a trip to the shops. And then there’s Pete, Mikey’s self-appointed protector and best friend, sat in the arm chair opposite with his eyes intently gazing at his surrogate little brother. Finally, there’s Frankie. My Frankie who’s sat next to me, arm around my shoulders and head lulled onto my collar bone, giving me every kind of comforting support that I could possibly need.
That’s us five; a team of best friends all united by one person and one thing. Mikey Way and our subsequent care for the kid. Pete was Mikey’s friend first, they’ve gotten along ever since Pete moved in next door six years ago and took a shine to my brother when he saved him from being chased home by some older kids, walking Mikes the rest of the short way to our abode where I got to know Pete, all three of us becoming firm friends fast. Then Mikey met Brendon at one of Pete’s dubiously infamous, if slightly illegal in places, parties; the two of them bonding instantly like two stars colliding in the night. Brendon started coming over to ours, desperately trying to get Mikes to open up to him, and thus I got to know the kid who blatantly loves my baby brother more than he loves his Grandma’s sacred cherry-turnover recipe. Frank’s in most of my brother’s classes at school and had to drop homework in for him once when he was off sick, I opened the front door to him; making me fall for the short punk-kid the split second I saw those impossibly powerful hazel eyes lighting up at seeing me.
In short; if it weren’t for Mikey I wouldn’t have my small and perfectly formed circle of friends. Nor would I have my Frankie, my boyfriend.
I texted Brendon to bring the others over after Mikes had fallen asleep on me, resulting in me having a full living room quicker than I thought the local speed-limit would allow. Because they all care about him, all love the little guy like he deserves to and needs to be loved. Now even more than normal. And I know that our best friends won’t let us down.
If they do, then they’ll have my fist to answer to.
“Gerard, what’s wrong?” Pete’s voice intrudes my thoughts, poking through my veil of supposes and plucking me into the tense silence of the room. “Which fucker was it this time?”
That’s what I love about Pete; he never beats around the bush and nor does he make any efforts to hide his true intent. Just like I love the fact that pretty much everyone who’s ever hurt Mikey has been hurt twice as bad by Pete in an act of both protection and revenge on behalf of my baby brother. Without Pete, I doubt Mikes would still have the courage to venture into the wilderness of Belleville High every day because, even though Pete’s my age and has left high school now, some of the bullies still fear him.
Largely due to the fact that Pete isn’t above beating up anyone who is stupid enough to dare to smudge Mikey’s face with sorrow, even if the perpetrators are still only school kids.
I wish it was something as simple as a malevolent spirit being the cause of our emergency meeting this afternoon; at least that’s something we all know how to work with. Mikey being diagnosed as depressed, however, is completely uncharted water. The kind that we could all very easily drown in if we don’t handle it properly.
A small movement catches my attention out of the corner of my eye, making me divert my eyes to where Brendon’s shifted to be kneeling. But that’s not what makes my heart melt at the adorableness and in pride for my baby brother; Brendon’s holding Mikey’s hand, who is subconsciously gripping it right back, and pressing a kiss to the pale paw.
They really are perfect together, even if they aren’t ‘officially’ dating. Something that I’ll have to get to changing as soon as I get a chance to.
“I… uh, it wasn’t a bully that got him all upset, Pete.” The addressed raises his eyebrows in cynical scepticism at my usual confident tone being invaded by a wavering shake. “Guys, Mikey went to the doctor’s today and-“
“What’s wrong?” Bren splurts out before I can finish, panic wild in his eyes as they scrutinise every aspect of his most important person. “He’s not sick, right? He’s not gonna die, is he? I can’t live without him, Gerard!”
“Mikey’s dying?” The crippled pigment to Frank’s stunned voice makes me wish people would just listen to me for once instead of jumping the gun because, well, if they did then Frank wouldn’t have tears welling in his eyes right now. “B-but he can’t die! I like him too much for him to d-“
“Guys, let Gerard fucking finish!” Pete’s voice booms out, a contrite look passing over his face when the noise makes Mikes stir in his slumber. The two younger boys look up at me expectantly, eyes huge with the terror that Pete’s trying so desperately to disguise with his usual toughness. “Fucking drama queens.”
I can’t help but smirk a little at his mutter of typical-Peteness. We all know he doesn’t mean it, that he’s just doing it to keep face in front of us and that’s what makes me smile; he’s kind of like the father-figure of the group, Brendon being the mother, Frank the dangerously insane uncle that most people only see at Christmas and me taking on the role of the fussy, overprotective aunt that most people only want to see at Christmas.
Mikey? He’s the baby. The one that we all look after.
Just like one big, if slightly dysfunctional, family. My family. Even more so than my own parents are to me.
“Gee?” Brendon’s singsong call reminds that I am, in fact, dragging out everyone’s agonizing anticipation. “What’s wrong with my boyf-“ He catches himself, a small and sad smile tinting his lips. “What’s wrong with my Mikey?”
I sigh, taking a deep breath in, and plant my eyes firmly on Mikey; my depressed baby brother. Just a baby.
“Like I was saying, Mikes went to the doc’s and, I don’t know how to put this, but...” I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see how this turns out. “Mikey’s depressed.” I sigh, still unable to meet my friends’ reactions. “As in, he has to take medication twice a day, depressed.”
Silence drowns the room, flooding out everything that anyone once thought of as a possibility. In all sickening honesty, they shouldn’t really be all that surprised by this revelation. I mean, the kid has the stereotypical traits of someone with depression, not just simple teenage angst.
When I can bring myself to look around at my friends, I see an array of things. Pete’s got his face hidden in his hands, muttering angrily to himself for ‘not spotting it’ himself because he seems to think that Mikey’s his responsibility more than mine. Frank’s just staring at a random, coffee-stained spot on the floor, flawless eyes clouded with confusion as he tries to wrap his pretty punk head around the idea.
And then there’s Brendon. He’s just gazing, not staring, at Mikey; expression the exact same as it was before I dropped the atomic bombshell.
“So what?”
Bren’s shattering of the silence makes us all gawp at him; makes my arms tighten around my baby brother through wariness of what the seventeen-year-old could possibly mean by or be going with this.
“He’s still Mikey. He’s still our best friend and brother. Nothing’s changed.” He stops, letting his surprising wisdom draw slow smiles of understanding on all of our faces. “We all knew something was wrong, didn’t we? Well, now we just know what it’s called. Doesn’t make him a different person.” He crawls up to me, fixing me with a reassuring stare of empathy, and presses his lips to Mikey’s forehead. “It doesn’t make me love him any less.”
I’m definitely going to make these two official; I honestly don’t think there’s anyone better for my brother out there.
In that big scary world.
A/N: Sorry if this sucks, but I really wanted to start involving the others and this was the best idea I could come up with. Also, I felt the need to give Ryan a break before he starts receiving death-threats. Please let me know what you think! :)
Song of The Chapter: "Together Burning Bright" by The Used http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kePguzglsfI
Gerard's POV
Depressed.
Depression.
Emotionally unstable.
Mentally unwell.
Depression.
Depressed.
Mikey Way.
Best friend.
Baby brother.
All the same thing, according to the doctor. The same one who diagnosed Mikey’s muteness back when we realised Mikes isn’t just a late bloomer unable to speak a word at the age of four.
I can remember it as though it were yesterday, the day that I got in from school after doing a macaroni picture in art class for my little brother to hang on his wall to find Mom crying and holding a very distressed looking toddler in her lap; the day that I realised being Mikey’s big brother was going to be a lot harder than I thought. At first I didn’t understand, just thought that Mikes was stupid or trying to steal my momma’s attention away from me, but I soon saw that he’s just as smart as everyone else. Smarter than most, actually.
Today’s kinda like that day twelve years ago, apart from I’m the one holding a distressed Mikey in my lap as he wheezes himself into a fitful sleep, head nestled into my chest like a baby bunny in it’s burrow. We’ve been sat like it since we got in; comforter and the comforted glued to one another as though letting go is a sin that we actually care about committing. In fact, the idea of letting go of my baby brother’s resting body makes any thoughts of carrying out homicide pale in comparison.
Because now he feels even more alienated than ever before, after writing out all of his feelings and thoughts to the doctor only to be diagnosed with clinical depression. Don’t get me wrong, I’m devastated that the kid has to cope with that on top of everything else, but at the same time I can’t begin to describe how relieved I am that he’s finally getting the help he so clearly needs. That he’s only getting because I forced him into going because I finally had enough of letting him cry himself out in his room all the time, even if the majority of those times he’s got the calming company of Brendon Urie in there with him.
Hence the fact that Bren’s here now, sat on the living room carpet and looking up at my brother with broken eyes. It’s ridiculously cute, if I’m going to be honest, the way that he’s like some baby puppy waiting for his master to return from a trip to the shops. And then there’s Pete, Mikey’s self-appointed protector and best friend, sat in the arm chair opposite with his eyes intently gazing at his surrogate little brother. Finally, there’s Frankie. My Frankie who’s sat next to me, arm around my shoulders and head lulled onto my collar bone, giving me every kind of comforting support that I could possibly need.
That’s us five; a team of best friends all united by one person and one thing. Mikey Way and our subsequent care for the kid. Pete was Mikey’s friend first, they’ve gotten along ever since Pete moved in next door six years ago and took a shine to my brother when he saved him from being chased home by some older kids, walking Mikes the rest of the short way to our abode where I got to know Pete, all three of us becoming firm friends fast. Then Mikey met Brendon at one of Pete’s dubiously infamous, if slightly illegal in places, parties; the two of them bonding instantly like two stars colliding in the night. Brendon started coming over to ours, desperately trying to get Mikes to open up to him, and thus I got to know the kid who blatantly loves my baby brother more than he loves his Grandma’s sacred cherry-turnover recipe. Frank’s in most of my brother’s classes at school and had to drop homework in for him once when he was off sick, I opened the front door to him; making me fall for the short punk-kid the split second I saw those impossibly powerful hazel eyes lighting up at seeing me.
In short; if it weren’t for Mikey I wouldn’t have my small and perfectly formed circle of friends. Nor would I have my Frankie, my boyfriend.
I texted Brendon to bring the others over after Mikes had fallen asleep on me, resulting in me having a full living room quicker than I thought the local speed-limit would allow. Because they all care about him, all love the little guy like he deserves to and needs to be loved. Now even more than normal. And I know that our best friends won’t let us down.
If they do, then they’ll have my fist to answer to.
“Gerard, what’s wrong?” Pete’s voice intrudes my thoughts, poking through my veil of supposes and plucking me into the tense silence of the room. “Which fucker was it this time?”
That’s what I love about Pete; he never beats around the bush and nor does he make any efforts to hide his true intent. Just like I love the fact that pretty much everyone who’s ever hurt Mikey has been hurt twice as bad by Pete in an act of both protection and revenge on behalf of my baby brother. Without Pete, I doubt Mikes would still have the courage to venture into the wilderness of Belleville High every day because, even though Pete’s my age and has left high school now, some of the bullies still fear him.
Largely due to the fact that Pete isn’t above beating up anyone who is stupid enough to dare to smudge Mikey’s face with sorrow, even if the perpetrators are still only school kids.
I wish it was something as simple as a malevolent spirit being the cause of our emergency meeting this afternoon; at least that’s something we all know how to work with. Mikey being diagnosed as depressed, however, is completely uncharted water. The kind that we could all very easily drown in if we don’t handle it properly.
A small movement catches my attention out of the corner of my eye, making me divert my eyes to where Brendon’s shifted to be kneeling. But that’s not what makes my heart melt at the adorableness and in pride for my baby brother; Brendon’s holding Mikey’s hand, who is subconsciously gripping it right back, and pressing a kiss to the pale paw.
They really are perfect together, even if they aren’t ‘officially’ dating. Something that I’ll have to get to changing as soon as I get a chance to.
“I… uh, it wasn’t a bully that got him all upset, Pete.” The addressed raises his eyebrows in cynical scepticism at my usual confident tone being invaded by a wavering shake. “Guys, Mikey went to the doctor’s today and-“
“What’s wrong?” Bren splurts out before I can finish, panic wild in his eyes as they scrutinise every aspect of his most important person. “He’s not sick, right? He’s not gonna die, is he? I can’t live without him, Gerard!”
“Mikey’s dying?” The crippled pigment to Frank’s stunned voice makes me wish people would just listen to me for once instead of jumping the gun because, well, if they did then Frank wouldn’t have tears welling in his eyes right now. “B-but he can’t die! I like him too much for him to d-“
“Guys, let Gerard fucking finish!” Pete’s voice booms out, a contrite look passing over his face when the noise makes Mikes stir in his slumber. The two younger boys look up at me expectantly, eyes huge with the terror that Pete’s trying so desperately to disguise with his usual toughness. “Fucking drama queens.”
I can’t help but smirk a little at his mutter of typical-Peteness. We all know he doesn’t mean it, that he’s just doing it to keep face in front of us and that’s what makes me smile; he’s kind of like the father-figure of the group, Brendon being the mother, Frank the dangerously insane uncle that most people only see at Christmas and me taking on the role of the fussy, overprotective aunt that most people only want to see at Christmas.
Mikey? He’s the baby. The one that we all look after.
Just like one big, if slightly dysfunctional, family. My family. Even more so than my own parents are to me.
“Gee?” Brendon’s singsong call reminds that I am, in fact, dragging out everyone’s agonizing anticipation. “What’s wrong with my boyf-“ He catches himself, a small and sad smile tinting his lips. “What’s wrong with my Mikey?”
I sigh, taking a deep breath in, and plant my eyes firmly on Mikey; my depressed baby brother. Just a baby.
“Like I was saying, Mikes went to the doc’s and, I don’t know how to put this, but...” I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see how this turns out. “Mikey’s depressed.” I sigh, still unable to meet my friends’ reactions. “As in, he has to take medication twice a day, depressed.”
Silence drowns the room, flooding out everything that anyone once thought of as a possibility. In all sickening honesty, they shouldn’t really be all that surprised by this revelation. I mean, the kid has the stereotypical traits of someone with depression, not just simple teenage angst.
When I can bring myself to look around at my friends, I see an array of things. Pete’s got his face hidden in his hands, muttering angrily to himself for ‘not spotting it’ himself because he seems to think that Mikey’s his responsibility more than mine. Frank’s just staring at a random, coffee-stained spot on the floor, flawless eyes clouded with confusion as he tries to wrap his pretty punk head around the idea.
And then there’s Brendon. He’s just gazing, not staring, at Mikey; expression the exact same as it was before I dropped the atomic bombshell.
“So what?”
Bren’s shattering of the silence makes us all gawp at him; makes my arms tighten around my baby brother through wariness of what the seventeen-year-old could possibly mean by or be going with this.
“He’s still Mikey. He’s still our best friend and brother. Nothing’s changed.” He stops, letting his surprising wisdom draw slow smiles of understanding on all of our faces. “We all knew something was wrong, didn’t we? Well, now we just know what it’s called. Doesn’t make him a different person.” He crawls up to me, fixing me with a reassuring stare of empathy, and presses his lips to Mikey’s forehead. “It doesn’t make me love him any less.”
I’m definitely going to make these two official; I honestly don’t think there’s anyone better for my brother out there.
In that big scary world.
A/N: Sorry if this sucks, but I really wanted to start involving the others and this was the best idea I could come up with. Also, I felt the need to give Ryan a break before he starts receiving death-threats. Please let me know what you think! :)
Song of The Chapter: "Together Burning Bright" by The Used http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kePguzglsfI
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