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3. Twins may be vexing


Janet Chant, who had been more ill than anyone else in the outbreak of measles in Chrestomanci Castle, had only that morning been allowed the company of the two similarly convalescing Chant cousins. Roger was now crouched on the floor by her bed arranging his soldiers for their upcoming siege of the pillow fort, the provisions of which were the bag of sweets Julia had brought for Janet. His twin Julia was tucked up comfortably at the foot of Janet's bed knitting a mysterious fluffy object, helping herself to the bag of sweets Roger had brought for Janet, reading a book of cooking spells, playing snap with Janet, and generally ignoring her twin's preparations to attack her fort.

Janet had, of course, wanted to know how the other children had been getting on while she'd been confined to her own room. But the answers to her questions had taken a peculiar turn. She had a nagging sense that events had moved in mysterious directions.

"Well, I must admit," Julia said, never pausing in her knitting, "that they seem much closer."

"Of late," Roger added. The twins exchanged a placid look, and Roger returned to meditating over his men, very like a small fair-haired Buddha.

"Inseparable," Julia agreed.

"Oh, indeed," Roger added. "Like unto, er, tree and vine."

"After a fashion." Julia was tottering precariously on the verge of a smirk.

"Imprisonment, escape from the jaws of death, all rather, er, bonding."

"So like a novel. Quite, er, gripping."

At which point, Julia tumbled off the edge into a snort. Roger merely shook his head.

"But I should think that's good," Janet insisted, annoyed. She'd been worried at how Cat had seemed to take such an immediate dislike to Tonino Montana. And clearly Tonino had been miserable as well. If the situation had indeed changed, that was only for the best. The twins' clear amusement at the idea seemed odd.

"It is good," Roger nodded. "Perhaps he will pay more attention. Daddy did say that if Cat were to get himself killed again, he'd stop his pocket money for a month. I, for one, do not look forward to Cat trailing pathetically at my heels making sad eyes."

"Because you inevitably give in," Julia said. "You and Janet both lack a firmness of character."

"I suppose I do," Roger said agreeably. "But for Janet's part, she's merely being an ideal sister."

"It's been so lovely to see that," Julia said. "Honestly, you've no idea." Both twins looked up to beam at Janet in genuine happiness.

She blushed. She knew they'd just as genuinely despised Gwendolen, Cat's actual sister, who'd imperiously yanked Janet into this parallel world to act as her Dear Replacement. So, although Cat wasn't, in the strictest and most technical sense, her little brother, Janet keenly felt the responsibility to compensate for what had gone before.

But, flattered as she was, Janet recognised a ploy. She refused to be dissuaded. "You are changing the subject. Cat and Tonino weren't getting on well at all before I got sick."

"Well, Cat wasn't. But yes, that's also a great relief to all concerned," Julia said with a vague wave. She set aside her knitting and picked up her handkerchief, making a loose knot in one corner. To Roger she said, "Are you ready yet?"

"In a few moments."

"You know, it won't matter a bit how much you prepare," Julia said.

"This time will be different," Roger vowed with a frown of concentration. "I've a cunning plan."

Julia did not appear worried. She lazily flicked a page of her book and popped another sweet into her mouth. "So very kind of Euphemia to provide," she murmured stickily. "Were it not for the wretchedness, I could enjoy being violently ill more often." She picked her knitting up again.

Janet sighed. These uninformative conversations served as reminders that their father was Chrestomanci. They came honestly by their genteel, well-bred habit of sliding away from unpleasantness. Janet, dead-common government ward that she was, chose direct, frontal assaults.

"I do realise that there's something you're not telling me. What is it?" she demanded.

"Nothing to tell," Roger assured her.

"At all," Julia added. "Never fear."

Janet harumphed and scowled at her cards.

Julia gave her a considering look. "Janet, you've read all of Mummy's collection of 'Millie' books, haven't you?"

"What? Oh. Yes." Janet mentally stumbled over this swing of topic. She had, in fact, read the entire series numerous times. She secretly pined for committees and midnight feasts. Were it not for Cat, she might have asked to be sent to a public school herself, rather than being tutored alongside the twins.

"So you've read that one?" Julia pointed a knitting needle at the shelf, and a single volume smoothly slid outward several inches.

Janet peered at the spine. "/Millie in the Lower Form/? Er, yes?"

"Then you recall the Head Girl that year, Angela Hayawatha-Brazil."

"Oh, of course," Janet said, warming immediately to the recollection. "Brilliant at maths, and good at games, with beautiful long, black braids." Janet sighed appreciatively. "Angela took Millie over and protected her when the upper form bullies were being hateful to her, and Millie utterly lost her heart to her. Angela's family returned to Atlantis at the end, Millie was so horribly crushed, but Angela had told her that one day they'd--"

"Enough, enough!" Roger interrupted, his chubby face gone pale. "I dare say Tonino may enjoy reading those, but I prefer to remain blithely ignorant. It is sufficient unto the day that you recall the basic plot."

"He's most immensely squeamish. One must forebear," Julia said sadly. She jerked a length of yarn from her basket. "De toute façon, I believe you have grasped the pertinent theme."

Janet blinked at them both. "The pertinent theme?"

"Why yes. One of them, at any rate." Julia exchanged another secretive look with her twin. "You may ponder it at your leisure. Snap."

"What?" Janet stared at the cards, for a moment confused. "Oh bother!"