FicWad

Chapter 14


Me and Sam talked for ages, he told me that I needed to confront ben about his eating problem, I didn’t tell Sam about the cutting though, because I knew ben was trying to sort that one out on his own. Sam said I needed to ask ben how it stated, this way I would understand the background off the problem. I also needed to tell ben that he needs to talk to someone. I knew he wouldn’t want to because he thought people would think he was mental and then they would send him to a metal institute.
But it was for the best, wasn’t it?
I decided that I would talk to him tonight after the show, this way everyone would be out at the clubs and it would be just us two.
We had half hour till we had to leave for the venue “I’m going to go get ben up , since he takes fucking ages to get dressed” I said to Sam then headed off to the bunks. I pulled back the curtain on bens bunk, the sight that I saw, I was defiantly not expecting.
Ben was lying on the bed topless with his eyes closed, I looked down at his arms there was a razor in one hand and his wrists was slit.
“Shit ben, baby come on” I started to shake him but there was no reply.
“SAM” I shouted. He came running in. he took one look at ben.
“What do I do” I pleased and started crying “Sam fucking help me, what do I do” I screamed at him
Sam started fiddling around in his pocket “cheek for a pulse, I’ll call an ambulance” Sam said while getting his phone out his pocket.
I put my fingers to bens neck at first I couldn’t feel anything “come on baby, don’t leave me” I said while looking for his pulse.
“I found it” I shouted at Sam. He talked more into the phone then put it back in his pocket.
Sam grabbed some piece of clothing of the side “Danny you need to put pressure on them” he said while chucking it at me. I did what I was told and held them over both of bens wrists.

Few minutes later

The paramedics came rushing into the bus pushing me and Sam outside to wait, while thy got ben ready to take in the ambulance.
“Why didn’t you tell me” Sam asked me.
“He asked me not to, he was trying to help his self” I answered him honestly.
“But I could of helped” Sam said turning me so I was now facing him.
“I’m sorry I should of but ben was so scared about people finding out, he thought they would think he was mental and he would get sent away” I lowered my head “I think that’s why he did this” I said but and I knew it was the truth, I should of just kept my big mouth shut and my baby would still be okay.
“What” Sam asked me with a puzzled look on his face?
“Well he must have heard us talking about him getting help, so he wanted to end it before he got sent away”
“Danny ben needs help, and I mean it, and I know that you know it too, so that’s what we are going to do. Help him!” Sam said. I nodded.

They brought ben out on a stretcher “who’s going to come with him to the hospital” one of the paramedics asked.
“Me” I said following him and getting in the ambulance
“I’ll wait for Cameron and James then get to the hospital as soon as we can, keep me updated” Sam said I nodded as the doors shut.
I sat on a chair next to ben, he was still on unconscious, I started crying again, what if he didn’t make it? I don’t think I could go on without him. One of the paramedics came next to me.
“He’s going to be alright, he didn’t cut very deep, but he will need a few stiches, then they will be bandaged up, okay?” he asked I just nodded, unable to speak, what if he was wrong.

They rushed ben in and told me to just take a seat, it seemed like hours before a small woman came out and sat next to me.
“Are you with Mr Bruce” she asked me.
“Is ben okay, please tell me he is” I begged the woman.
She smiled at me “he’s okay, he’s had some stitched and both his wrists are bandaged up but I’m going to need you to answer some questions okay?” she said I nodded at her.
“how long has ben been self-harming” she asked.
“I’ve only found out about it in the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to help him” I answered her. She write in down then looked back up at me.
“Okay well from the amount of cuts of bens arms we can see he needs help, do you know why he started”
“No he never told me” I answered her.
“okay that’s fine, well bens going to need some help he will need to talk to a psychiatrist, but he is also going to need a lot of support, what are you to him” she asked
“I’m his boyfriend and band mate”
“Okay so will he have a lot of support, because that’s what he needs at this moment in time” I nodded at her knowing the guys would support ben all the way.
“That’s brilliant, anyway that’s it for now would you like to go see him” she asked me.
“Yes, please” the doctor lead me to a room and opened the door for me, I stepped inside. Ben was sitting up in the bed with both his wrists bandaged up. I could feel my eyes starting to water; ben just lowered him head, avoiding eye contact with me.
I walked straight over to him and pulled him into my arms, trying to be as gentle as possible.
“Don’t you ever, ever! Fucking scare me like that again” I pulled away from him and looked straight into his eyes “ever, do you hear me”
“I so sorry Danny” ben said starting to cry himself.
“Why did you do it baby” I asked ben.
He lowered his head again “I got scared, you was going to send me away” he answered me
“Baby I just want you better, I wasn’t going to send you anywhere. Has the doctor talked to you” I asked him and he nodded “so you understand that you’re going to have to talk with someone” he nodded again. “I’m going to fix you okay, now come on you can leave now” I told ben while helping him off the bed. We walked down to the waiting area, where the guys were going to be waiting for us. As we walked in they all stood up, Sam half ran up to ben and pulled him into a hug.
“Are you okay, you fucking scared me mate” Sam said.
“I’m okay, I’m sorry” ben answered in a small voice.
“Okay I’m going to go sign you out, wait here” I told them and went to sign ben out.

We got back to the tour bus, it had been a silent ride, and no one said anything just sat there. Once we got back I helped ben into his bunk and told him I would be in soon, I was trying not to let him out of my sight. I quickly left him to go grab a drink. All the guys were sitting down in the living area.
“Danny are you going to explain what the fucks going on” James said with a concern look on his face.
“To be honest I don’t know the whole story but I’m sure ben will tell you himself tomorrow” I told them the nodded and we all agreed that we would talk about it tomorrow when ben had, had some rest.
I walked back into the bunk area and bens curtain was open I look inside; he was just staring back at me.
“You okay babe” I asked him. He just shrugged and lifted up the quilt signalling for me to get in. I kicked of my shoes and slipped into bed with him. His head automatically went to my chest.
“I so sorry Danny about today” he said quietly to me.
“I know” I said back
“I just got really sacred when I heard you and Sam talking about me, I though you was going to send me straight to the mental place” I could feel his tears on my shirt my this point “please don’t send me Danny” he said his voice stating to get louder “I promise I won’t ever do it again, just please don’t make me go”. He finished now fully crying.
“Shhh baby I’m not sending you anywhere, calm down” I said hugging him trying to calm him down a bit. After a while he calmed down and stopped crying. “But you understand that now you have done this you have got to get help” I asked ben.
“I know” he answered in a small voice. “But they won’t make me leave you will they” he said looking up at me with big eyes.
“Of course they won’t, you will just have to go talk to someone, then you get to come back to me, but ben you really do need to stop, you could of killed yourself today” I told him, he nodded.
“I’m trying” he said.
“You also need to explain to the guys, they want to know. There worried about you” he just nodded again. “Just get some rest baby we will sort it out tomorrow” I said kissing ben on the lips.
“Night Danny”
“Night baby”