FicWad

Old Gold

- - -

This piece started out as Tokito gen with the theme 'sight', but ended up with Shinrei/Tokito and Akira/Tokito hints. I still like to think of it as gen, though. It's not especially romantic, except where it is.

Spoilers for Tokito's true identity, and other stuff that the English manga hasn't gotten to yet. kicks Tokyopop

- - -

When Shinrei looks at Tokito he feels more than a little sad, and thinks that it's not entirely healthy for her to remind him of Fubuki as much as she does.

He can see Fubuki in the imperious way she holds her head while taking him to task for little mistakes (she's never been this precise--from what Yuan tells him she was sloth personified because she could count on Spade to pick up the slack. But Spade wasn't really there for her in the first place, and Shinrei simply can't imagine Chinmei actually working). He sees Fubuki in the contemplative look on her face when she watches moon, and in how she casually bats aside his water dragons while they spar, reminding him painfully that he still has a long way to go before he gets to her level--to Fubuki's level.

But there's something distinctly not-Fubuki in the nostalgic look on her face when she watches him practise his water dances. When Shinrei first noticed it, he didn't really notice it. He'd been trying to come up with a new water dance, and had glimpsed her watching him from behind a tree. He mistook the wistful look on her face for awe at his talent--she was far away--and then fell into the water when he lost his focus.

And he could have sworn he saw his water dragons laughing at him.

As he fished himself out of the water, he replayed the scene in his mind, examining how she was really watching him.

Shinrei knows how Fubuki would watch him: there would be nothing sad about it, only evaluation, picking out the weaknesses and mistakes in his form to point out to him later. With Tokito, there is no assessment. She only sees the first layer of things; he imagines that she has no patience to see deeper. Or no desire. Maybe it hurts her to watch him. (Maybe she's hurting as much as he is. Or maybe she's not.)

In the weeks that follow this incident, she dances around him in daily life, but gets closer to the lake and finally speaks to him under the pretence of challenging him to a fight. When Shinrei sees her up close, there isn't any Fubuki, only Tokito.

-

Akari looks at Tokito and is annoyed. Where did this girl come from, and how did she manage to steal her way into everyone's hearts? It's like Yuya all over again, if Yuya hadn't been unfailingly sweet, kind, and always in need of rescue. Tokito has made it clear that she takes care of herself, and no one is allowed to rescue her. She doesn't even come to Akari for healing like everyone else, claiming that she's always bandaged up her own wounds and will continue to do so.

It's bewildering, and more than a little bit infuriating. (Akari isn't used to being denied.)

Akari watches as Akira chides Tokito for once again using Bontenmaru as her personal conveyance, to which Tokito replies, Yeah? Are you going to give me rides if he doesn't? and Akira says, Why would I give you a ride? You're uncouth and obnoxious, and she leaps off of Bontenmaru's shoulder and is barely held back from attacking Akira, and--

And this scene is all wrong, Akari thinks, flashing back to her Shiseiten days when Akira would sometimes ride around on Bon's back and have to be pulled away from trying to kill Hotaru; maybe it's not healthy for Tokito to remind her so much of a young Akira. Or maybe it's perfectly natural. Akari isn't used to being so confused.

So, when Tokito does something that makes sense, like interrupting Shinrei while he's training to issue a dramatic challenge, she watches it. And when Shinrei does something that doesn't make sense, like shaking his head--his hair, loose in clear homage to Fubuki, moves like a lion's mane--grabbing her hand, and dragging her off to his house, Akari watches it even closer.

-

Yuan looks at Tokito and almost goes crazy trying to reconcile his old image of Tokito, the angry, foul-mouthed boy who occasionally livened up boring Taishirou meetings with pranks--the rotten-eggs-under-the-tatami was a classic--with this new, fractionally more polite, completely female Tokito (who still knows more swear words than he ever will.)

The old Tokito was lazy and sloppy, and was only one of the Taishirou because of her power, her Muramasa, and her ability to control time. Under any other circumstances, she would have made an excellent konoetaishi for someone, but she was too much of a badass to be relegated to a supporting position. She would have chafed. She would have killed someone and taken their job anyway.

The old Tokito would have cut off Shinrei's arm for daring to take her hand like that, but this is the new Tokito, and she gives in.

And Yuan watches.

-

Akira looks at Tokito and doesn't know what he's seeing.

Correction: Akira knows exactly what he's seeing. Tokito's face was the first thing he'd seen--actually seen--in years, and he'd taken great care to memorise it in the few minutes he had. He knows that she's at her cutest when she's embarrassed, that there are premature frown lines on her forehead, and that she has a small zit on her chin. He half-wishes that he'd kept his sight for a little longer, so that he could have seen her smiling, instead of just knowing that she was happy.

Akira knows that Shinrei is dragging Tokito off (he can hear her feeble protests and his murmured reassurances), and he can see it in his mind's eye, but he isn't sure what's actually going on.

Shinrei is clearly sitting her down at his table and turning around to light a fire to heat water for tea. Tokito is clearly looking around with a how did I get here? face and sniffling a little when she sees the decor. Shinrei is clearly turning around to see what's wrong. Tokito sniffles a little harder. Shinrei asks, What's wrong? Tokito answers, N-Nothing, I'm just remembering things. She's looking out the circular window at the garden. She sees past the garden to another garden. Akira's imagination is running away with him. Akari is looking through another window and turning away. Yuan is walking away.

Akira is overwhelmed by a sense of wrongness when Shinrei kneels next to Tokito and puts an arm around her shoulders. It's okay, he says, you can mourn. Go ahead. No one's watching. She tries to push him away, but he pulls her head against his chest. She protests, and he adds, I'm hurting too.

Tokito lets out a great, heaving sob and Shinrei rubs her back soothingly, which makes her start crying for real.

Akira thinks that he should be the one in there comforting her--he's the one that woke her up from her dream, and he should be the one picking up the pieces. He doesn't want someone else doing his duty for him.

But Akira looks away, too.