FicWad

“Huff…huff”
I take in ragged gasps of air, my hand clutching towards my heart.
“Doctor are you okay?” Amy asks worriedly.
“I’m fine….don’t…ahhh!” I clasp my eyes shut, ‘I’ve never felt pain like this before yet….’
“Rory help me we need to get him into the TARDIS.” Amy instructs.
Rory and Amy hurry over towards me and prop me up, guiding me towards the TARDIS. As I walk each step feels like my body will fade away and melt into the ground. I carry on walking till I get through the TARIDS doors. My mind starts to haze, my body unable to support my weight any longer, and I collapse to the floor, which seems solid no more.
“This pain is like a mist, a mist that will never fade…” I whisper.
“Doctor!!” They both cry.
Then my vision is gone and washed by darkness.

I open my eyes, my vision clearing, blurring into images of falling snow. I stand up rubbing my eyes, and then lower my arm. I look again at my hand,
‘Something seems different about it.’
I walk into the surrounding snow and see a puddle of ice in front of me shimmering, I look into it seeing my reflection.
This isn’t me…; or rather it was me a long time ago….
“What’s happened to me, where am I?” I called, hoping that someone might hear me.
I start to sprint through the snow, but all I can see is the same scenery. Vast amounts of snow falling, like it never ends. I halt and look at the snowflakes more carefully,
Somehow I feel this holds the answer to where I am, and what’s happened to me.
I reach out my hand and tentatively touch the snowflake. My mind darkens once again, but this time it flashes with images. The memories rush before my mind scarring me with every look.
“Oh no…..”,
‘These emotions, grief, loneliness, helplessness too many to count,… I can’t bear it!’
The images stopped, my eyes finding myself back in the snowfall.
‘I now know where I am’, I’m in my memories….

‘These snowflakes, they are my emotions and memories’
“Adric…. You have no idea how much your death grieved me, I even feel it to this day.” I speak to myself, letting my emotions out of my mind.
“But Doctor I do”, a voice calmly speaks behind me.
‘It can’t be I know that voice…’,
I turn around my heart thumping..,
“Adric!” I exclaim.
“Doctor it’s nice to see you again,” Adric greets warmly.
“Adric I’m sorry… I couldn’t prevent your death but I should have been able too.” I apologize frustratedly.
“Don’t you see? I had to protect millions of lives on earth.”
“But you don’t know! The Frater was what killed the dinosaurs, earth was safe.
“Could I have risked millions of lives when we didn’t know for sure? No Doctor, I did what I had to do. Please try and understand.”
“I’m sorry Adric, please I want to forget, I can’t burden the memory any longer.” I begged.
“The choice is yours Doctor, Adric replied sadly. All you have to do is break a snowflake, and you will forget the memories.”
I pulled back my arm, and clenched my fist. Time slowed down as my hand thrust forwards closing in on the snowflake. A split second away it halted,
‘Memories?’
“But all I want to do is forget your death.” I said quizzically.
“If you destroy the memory of my death, then you will also destroy your memories of me altogether, the snowflake would set off a chain reaction destroying all your memories of me, but it is still your choice.” Adric stated.
‘Is the memory so bad, I can afford to forget the rest? But saying that it would mean the other times weren’t bad…. And no they weren’t.’

“I’m sorry Adric, and I really am this time.” I apologized.
“What for now?” Adric rolled his eyes.
“I was prepared to forget you, just because I didn’t understand you. I see now that even though there were bad times, there were also good times too. Laughing and joking, even when we fell out we made up.”
“Doctor you can be so clever at times, but can also overlook the most obvious of things.” Adric teased.
“I now I see, all the skills you had could be put to a greater use. Of course you couldn’t risk a millions of lives on a theory, you didn’t risk it. You knew the consequences your actions would most likely bring, and you accepted it. This is how you wanted it.” Then for the first time being here, I smile with happiness.”
“Thank you for understanding. I only ask one more favour of you.”
“Anything.” I reply.
“Take my badge out of you pocket.”
I dip my hand into my pocket, and collecting all the fragmented pieces, take my hand out and place them in my palm.
“Your memories are now whole once again.”
I look at Adric and then back at his badge. The snow around me swirls and blows plunging into the badge, giving it a warm glow. As I watch, the glow acquires a warmly golden shine. Then I see it, the badge is whole once more.
“Goodbye Doctor, I’ll never forget you” Adric farewells.
“Goodbye Adric, I’ll never forget you either.” I say warmly.
Then darkness washes my vision once again.

“Doctor!” I hear faint voices gradually becoming clearer, I open my eyelids and see Amy and Rory, staring at me worriedly.
“Doctor what happened are you okay?” Amy asks with relief.
I sit up feeling better than I have in years, and start grinning.

“You know Adric, you were right, you were right.”