FicWad

I picked up the phone and dialed Ryan’s number frantically. I made a mistake. I messed up, it would ruin everything. Correction we messed up. I tapped my fingers on the table as the dial tone filled my anxious ears. “Fuck, pick up Ross.” I muttered under my breath.

“Hey you’ve reached my phone. I couldn’t make it for some reason so just leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”

“Fuck you Ross! Pick up the God damn phone! It’s important. Holy hell, you know what, this can’t wait. I’m coming over.” I shut the phone, grabbed my keys, and angrily stormed out of the house.

Placing a smile at the perfect event,
Gracing your skin with the side of my hand.
If I ever leave I could learn to miss you
But "sentimental boy" is my nom de plume.

I woke up to a loud banging at my door and shouts from Brendon. “Ross, get your ass down here. This is fucking important. I think you know what the hell I’m talking about.”

At his last statement I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. I threw the door open and glared at Brendon. “I thought we agreed we weren’t going to talk about it.”

“Yeah, well it needs to be talked about.”

Reluctantly I let Brendon in and followed him to the living room. He sat down on the couch and rubbed his hands through his messy black hair. His eyes had dark rings around them, as if he hadn’t slept for the past week; which was very much possible. “We need to tell.”

I stared at him, mouth agape. “No. No, we said we’d keep it a secret, we said we wouldn’t tell anyone. Let’s just leave it at that. Forget about it and move on.”

“I don’t know about you Ry, but I can’t just move on. We fucked up, fucked up big time. And you know what? I think someone needs to know. Cassie and Elizabeth and the very least.” I couldn’t argue with him, his logic made sense. I couldn’t move on either. It had been the only thing on my mind for the past few days.

“Let’s get Spencer and Jon’s opinion on this.”

Let me save you, hold this rope.

An annoyed Spencer and a very sleepy Jon arrived at Ryan’s house. We explained to them how we had messed up, how I wanted to fix it and they sat patiently waiting for us to finish the tale.

After we finished speaking Ryan turned to me. “I think you might be right, we need to tell Cassie and Elizabeth.”

Spencer and Jon looked at each other. “No offense guys but I think telling them would be the worst idea in the world.” Jon said calmly. “It would ruin your marriage with Elizabeth, Brendon. And you and Cassie just got back together Ryan, would you really want to mess it up again?”

I may never sleep tonight,
As long as you're still burning bright.
If I could trade mistakes for sheep,
Count me away before you sleep.
I'll stay awake till I trade my mistakes,
Or they fade away.

I looked down at my feet. Jon had a point. I didn’t want to ruin my newly rekindled relationship with Cassie. She was the perfect girl, she was everything I had ever wanted, I would do anything to preserve my relationship with her. Even keep a secret this monumental.

But at the same time if I didn’t tell her and she found on her own she would be furious. She would be beyond furious. “What do you think Spencer?”

He sat in thought for a moment, staring at the ceiling as he often did whilst thinking. It seemed like his response would take forever. “Well on the one hand, telling would be the mature thing to do. And it would be better coming from your mouths than them finding out from someone else. But on the other hand, they would be furious. I know that they would not take it lightly.”

I feel marooned in this body,
Deserted, my organs can go on without me.
You can't fly these wings.
You can't sleep in this box with me.

I sighed. They were right, why did they have to be right? Two of the most sensible people in such a nonsensical world. In my nonsensical mess. A mess that Ryan and I had both created.

We fucked up, and we fucked up big time. I wanted to take it back. I wanted to go back in time and stop Ryan and myself from doing it. I took a deep breath and weighed my options.

To tell Elizabeth or not to tell Elizabeth? Jesus I felt like Hamlet or whoever the fuck said that. If I told Elizabeth she would be far from pissed. But if I didn’t tell Elizabeth then there was the possibility of her finding out from someone else.

What the hell was I supposed to do in that situation?

So let me save you, hold this rope.

I watched as Brendon and Ryan thought about their options. This was a mess I was lucky I didn’t have to be in. I was glad I wasn’t in their positions. I honestly had no idea what I would do. Brendon and Ryan were smart guys, but what they did? Hell, it was by far the dumbest thing they’d ever done.

I looked over to Jon, who looked like he was about to fall asleep, and suddenly envied him. He had nothing to worry about, and it was obvious he didn’t care about the situation with Ryan and Brendon. See that was my problem. I cared too much, about everyone and anyone. I cared way too damn much.

It hurt me physically to see Ryan and Brendon in this situation. They were good guys, they really were. They just happened to fuck up. It wasn't their fault.

Well maybe it was a little.

I may never sleep tonight,
As long as you're still burning bright.
If I could trade mistakes for sheep,
Count me away before you sleep.
I'll stay awake till I trade my mistakes,
Or they fade away.

Ryan and Brendon were worrying too much in my opinion. The solution was simple. Just don’t tell. Yeah, if Cassie and Elizabeth found out they would probably murder the two themselves, but hiding it was the easy part. Not many people knew so hiding it would be so simple. I mean yeah, they had to put their complete faith into Spencer and I to not tell their spouses, but we were trustworthy.

Well I was at least. I could tell Spencer was a little uncomfortable in the middle of this. I could see that he wanted to tell but at the same time he knew it wasn’t his place. I knew Spencer like the back of my hand and I knew that he’d be placing himself in Brendon or Ryan’s shoes. He’d be trying to solve this problem for the two. What Spencer never realized was that it wasn’t his problem. He wanted to help, he always wanted to help. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but in this case there was nothing he could do but keep the secret.

Don't let me trade you of this wrong,
Then I'll pull you in.
Cause I am an anchor, save her oar
Feel it sinking in.
Let me save you of this wrong
I am an anchor, sinking her.

I looked over at Brendon as realization dawned on me. We couldn’t tell. If we told it would undoubtedly ruin our lives. If we kept the secret then we’d have at least some chance at a normal life. We could hide it easily enough, we would have to make sure Spencer and Jon never told, but it would be easy.

I could see the comprehension on his face as well. He knew, but neither of us spoke it aloud. Our eyes said everything for us.

Telling was not an option.

I may never sleep tonight,
As long as you're still burning bright.
If I could trade mistakes for sheep,
Count me away before you sleep.
I'll still wait till I trade my mistakes,
So they fade away.

So what do you all think? I think it would be the great beginning to a story if I actually knew where it was headed lol. I didn't really know where it was headed as I was writing it either so sorry if it was a bit confusing. I really hope you enjoyed it though! Please tell me what y'all think because I actually found this very interesting to write and was thinking maybe if I figured out where this was headed then I could turn it into a longer fic.