Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Empty With You
Hello people!! It's been too long!
Time for a quick ramble.
So, I'm done with school!!! Admittedly, only until September, but still! I love life.
It's hot, I don't have to get up before 12pm at any time over the next two weeks, and I've been listening to Revenge all day. For the last two days running. And if that isn't enough to put you in a good mood, fuck only knows what is.
So, I what did I do, being so happy? Decide to start on a new story! XD 'Cos you know - that's how I roll!
Errm, I also just had an argument with my Gran about abortion and a conversation with my little brother about whether Gerard or Frank would top. I kid you not.
And had a water-fight and got asked to prom. I'm going to try and make him wear eye-liner.
Annywaaaay - le story. All you need to know is that it's set in the present(ish), but I nullified Frank and Gerard's kids. I just would feel guilty stealing their Daddies, so y'know!
Also, I probably should have put some more warnings on this, but meh. Sex covers it all!
(Yes! Sex is always the answer, it's never the question, 'cos the answer's yes, or the answer's YES --- Imagine me bursting in to very off-tune song!)
Now... on with the show!
Sx
Surprisingly, waiting for Gerard to sign his divorce papers was nearly as hard as it had been for Frank to sign his own. The latter wasn't entirely sure why this was; perhaps something to do with the fact that when he spilt with Jamia it had been on perfectly good terms - they just didn't love each other anymore, and would be better off separated, not to mention they would be able to move on with their lives. This didn't make it easy though - signing away part of his life. Perhaps, it was empathy for Gerard that made it so hard for Frank to sit still now. That, and the fact that unlike his, this was a divorce in which the couple were completely at odds with each other.
Something had happened between the two, and not even their closest friends had any idea what it was. They refused to talk about it, and the most that Frank knew was that the man had turned up round his brother's house early one morning, on the verge of tears. And now, less than a month after that, a settlement was being signed, splitting their joint account in half and confirming that the house the two had shared belonged to Gerard. And still, no one had any idea what it was that created such a huge rift between the supposedly happy couple.
Frank shifted in his seat, slightly inpatient. He was anxious for his friend, and would be lying if he said he wasn't hopeful. He'd also be lying if he said that he knew what he was hoping for. Part of him - most of him - was praying that Gerard and Lindsey would finally talk to one another, look into each other's eyes and re-discover the love that had made them so happy for nearly five years now.
Apparently, that wasn't going to happen though - barely a minute later, a tall, dark haired girl stalked out of the office, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Frank stood, trying to comfort her - after all, over the last few years, he'd become very good friends with Lindsey - but she waved him aside with a small smile that begged him to leave her alone. He did so, trying to ignore the track of black that ran down her pale skin. Then she was gone.
Frank turned back to see the woman's now ex-husband standing in the doorway, looking equally miserable. The shorter man frowned, again wondering what on Earth had happened that was awful enough to split the two up. It was clear that neither party was happy with it - surely they could have sorted something out? Some compromise to keep them both happy, without splitting up so finally?
The man shook his head sadly, and then walked over to Gerard, who was still standing stock still in the office doorway. His hair was black again, and it contrasted starkly with his now chalky skin. Without second thoughts, Frank wrapped his arms around the taller man's waist and allowed his friend to cry on his shoulder.
A group of lawyers squeezed out around the two, giving respectful nods if one happened to catch their eye. Neither man paid them any attention though - one was too busy crying, the other, putting all effort into comforting his friend. Despite this, the entire time, a question was swimming around in Frank's head.
What the hell had gone wrong?
They broke apart after a few minutes, the younger of the two leading the other over to one of the plush love seats that lined the room. The men sat there for a little while, Gerard desperately trying to staunch his tears whilst his friend was at lost as to how to comfort him. When he had calmed down a bit, Frank pulled him back into his arms, and just hugged him for a few short moments. To hell with what anyone watching would think - his friend needed comfort, and Goddamn him if he wasn't going to give it to him.
Somewhat surprisingly, this seemed to pacify Gerard further. The man pulled back and wiped at his puffy, red eyes with his sleeve, smiling weakly at his tattooed friend. Iero returned the gesture, but it was equally false.
"Come on." He said, standing up. "Let's blow this dump."
Gerard laughed softly at that, and followed his friend out of the building into the car waiting outside. It wasn't anything flashy - although Goodness knows that either of them could have afforded something much nicer. But it was the sort of car that blended in, gave privacy; and that was something both men had been lacking for the last five or six years of their lives.
Don't be mistaken - both loved the fame, or more to the point, the impact they'd somehow managed to have on people's lives. Although it was something that Way was more commonly associated with, Frank never got tired of hearing kids claim that they'd saved their lives. In his opinion, anyone who took that for granted, or got bored of it, had something seriously wrong with them.
The fact that he - lame, short arse, Frank Iero from New Jersey had actually had some impact on the world, had changed it, even if it was in an imperceptibly small way, was just amazing. But sometimes, sometimes there were times when you wanted your space, and didn't want any obsessed fan girls to notice you.
Now, as tears began to re-appear in Gerard's eyes, was one of those times.
The two drove through the streets of LA in silence. It wasn't the comfortable, easy, lack of noise that the two usually shared, but a tense one that needed to be filled. However, Gerard was too caught up in his miserable thoughts to care, and Frank was finding it difficult to form words. Every time the guitarist thought of something to say, the sounds would catch in his throat, and so - nothing was said. They remained trapped in their heads.
It was only when Iero finally pulled up outside the huge white house that belonged to his band mate that words finally came to him: "Are you sure you're gonna be ok?" Stupid, stupid fucking question. The answer was written all over Gerard's face. "I mean, do you wanna stay over my house or something for a few nights? So you don't have to be alone?"
Remembering back to his own divorce, Frank knew that there were few things more depressing than returning to an empty house after signing those wretched papers. It was a little non-sensical, after all. He'd been living alone for months prior to that day, but it was still a fucking downer. And again - this was harder for Gerard on account of the fact that neither he nor his wife really seemed to want the spilt.
Which brought back that seemingly unanswerable question - what went wrong?
Way smiled and shook his head. "No, I'll be fine. Thanks anyway Frankie." And he closed the car door.
The younger man sighed as he watched the other walk away. He wanted to run after him, force him to talk to him and find out what the hell was going on. He also wanted to comfort the guy, maybe to look after him a bit until he felt better. Most of all, Frank really did not want to leave Gerard alone right at that moment. Unfortunately he knew his friend too well, and knew that nothing good was going to happen to the singer in the near future. It was always like that - with both of the Way brothers - one something bad happened, and they just built up and up until they were plunged into a downwards spiral of misery and... self-harm, more often than not.
Admittedly, Gerard had grown up a fair amount since the last time he'd been trapped in a depressive spiral, and maybe that's how Frank justified his actions to himself as he drove away. But then, for almost the entirety of those happy years, Lindsey had been there - being his rock, his emotional support. And now she was gone what was left to hold that man up? One of the few people in the world who could was currently driving away, even knowing he was making a mistake.
Iero wasn't thinking about the future though - he was wondering about the past. Still mulling over any possible problems that could make a seemingly idyllic marriage collapse. There were thousand of answers of course, but neither of the two seemed like people to commit adultery. Abuse was out the question, especially if Lindsey was on the receiving end. After all, Frank would bet on her winning a fight against Gerard any day. And as it seemed to be her instigating this divorce, it was doubtful that it was the other way around.
Nothing made sense.
The guitarist continued to drive around the darkening city for a while, before deciding that he may as well go up to the studio. The four of them - himself, Mikey, Gerard and Ray, that was - were supposed to working on a new album, but somehow the old one kept on catching up with them. People were still booking them out for shows, and they were due to go on tour again in little less than two months.
That wasn't too much of a worry though - half of The Black Parade had been recorded whilst they were still touring Revenge. It was only the editing and finishing touches that had been done in the studio. Plus, if they were on tour, Frank had a ready-made excuse to keep an eye on Gerard.
Not just because the guitarist thought he needed it, but because he wanted to. Because there was still that part inside of him that had feeling for the other man - the part that he had hated himself for whilst waiting in that office for his friend to emerge. Whilst most of him was hoping for Lindsey and Gerard to fall in love all over again, and realize they were making a huge mistake in separating - thus saving both huge amounts of heartache - there had been another part that felt... smug.
It was something he'd never admit, something he wished he could will out of existence, but something he could never deny. It was the fact that deep inside he was overjoyed with the fact that Gerard was free again. Free for Frank to confess his love to, and free to act on it.
For obvious reasons though, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. But still, the possibility was there, and sooner or later, the guitarist was going to give in to the temptation that hung in front of him. It was just a matter of time.
Sighing, Iero killed the engine on his car and made his way up to the floor where a recording studio had already formed. Two of his beloved guitars were there, and if there was one way to relieve stress - it was by playing, just for the sake of playing. Feeling more at ease already, Frank sat down, and began to strum.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey Way – no, Ballato - sighed as her cell phone rung shrilly again. She had little doubt that it was Gerard, and even if it wasn't, she wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone.
"Aren't you gonna get tha'?" Kitty asked, flopping down on the sofa next to her friend. Lindsey had been occupying her spare room for a few months and would probably be staying there a few longer - however long it would take to get a decent apartment in this city. Kitty didn't mind - the two had lived together often enough for her to be used to it, and truthfully, living alone did get very tedious after a while. Although, having a recent divorcee living under her roof wasn't proving to be the funnest thing in the world. Whatever, she was Lindsey's friend - she wasn't going to kick her out for being a downer.
"No." The afore-mentioned sighed again. "It's probably Gerard. Even if it isn't I don't want to listen to some randomer crying down the phone at me about how sorry they are."
Kitty nodded understandingly; that had been happening a lot recently. The phone rung a few more times before stopping, either going on to voicemail, or having the other person give up. Lindsey hoped they had given up.
"So," she said after a few seconds of silence. "What d'you wanna do then?"
The other woman let out a huff and threw her head back over the top of the sofa, long black hair flying everywhere. She didn't want to do anything, she just wanted to lie there, maybe just sleep for like, a few years. And as much as she loved Kitty, she wished the other woman wasn't always so out-going. Seriously, couldn't she sit still for a few seconds? Mind you, that's what Lindsey was usually like. She wondered if it was this annoying for everyone else.
"Nothing really... Curl up and die maybe."
"Hey!" The drummer elbowed her playfully. "Don't be like that! You gotta... cheer up!"
Lindsey snapped. "You don't fucking get it, do you Jessica? I just got fucking divorced - most people aren't skipping through fields half an hour later!" She made to storm off, only to have her friend catch her by the wrist and pull her back.
"Don't, Linz, please." In the space of a few seconds, the girl's tone had changed completely. It was now soft, concerned and as apologetic as Kitty would ever get. "Look, I just don't want you to wallow, y'know? I get that it must be fucking depressing to get divorced from a guy you've loved for, what? The last five years, now? But you've been separated for months, nothing's really changed, if you think about it."
The taller woman glared down at her for another few seconds, but she rapidly deflated and flopped back down. "I know, I know. It's just... a pile of horse shit." Pause. "And I'm kinda worried 'bout him - you know Gerard, he doesn't get on too well."
"You mean, you think he might become depressed again?"
"Yeah," Another deep sigh. Kitty was really getting sick of hearing those unhappy sounds come out of her friend's mouth. "I mean, what if he starts drinking again? Goes back to that frame of mind? He's nearly fucking killed himself before!"
"But he didn't." The drummer reasoned. "He got through it - and without you. He'll be able to this time. Plus, if what you told me is true, he'll be far better off in the long run."
"What if I'm wrong though? We'll have gone through all this for nothing!"
"You can hook up again. Anyway, based on what you've said, well, you already know what I think. What you did was right - neither of you could carry on livin' like that."
"I guess."
"Come on!" Kitty stood up and offered her hand to her friend, who took it tentatively. "I'm sure I can think of something to cheer you up."
Lindsey rolled her eyes, but stood up and followed the shorter woman anyway. She didn't want to stay sad, and anyway, the drummer was right - her marriage, as amazing as it may have seemed to an outsider, had been full of holes. And whilst most they had bridged over most, learned to live and love one another, despite their flaws, there were some things that couldn't be ignored. It may take a while, but sooner or later, the couple would have much better lives because of Lindsey's actions.
She hoped, at least.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank never should have left.
He should have followed his gut instinct, and stayed with his friend - even if only for a few hours. Instead, he had left Gerard on his own, to do nothing but wallow in his misery.
The only thing that had kept him going these last few weeks was clinging on to the false hope that he could win Lindsey back and convince her that their love could survive, despite his... disposition. Now, even that was gone, and he didn't know what to do.
He just couldn't understand what was so wrong with him - he loved his wife, he really did, so why did she have to end it? She had been one of the best things in his life, so why did he have to fuck things up?
He had tried calling his wife (he refused to think of her as being his ex), but she hadn't picked up. Then he realized that his name was probably coming up on the screen as he did, so he'd gone to the local electronics store simply to buy a new one. That hadn't worked either though, and then, Gerard didn't know what to do.
For a long few hours, he'd just moped about at home debating whether or not to call one of his friends. They didn't want to talk to him though - they were all happily married without any stupid complications screwing things up. As for Frank, he'd probably had enough of him. Just like Lindsey had.
No - that wasn't true. His wife loved him - had loved him at the very least - she wasn't some sort of slut, or gold digger. Plus, she had never appeared pleased to be divorcing him. It was just one of those things she felt she had to do.
Head full of confused thoughts, and longing for company, Gerard had left his house, planning on just driving around the city for a while. Of course, that quickly went to pot, as every song on the radio reminded him of Lindsey, and every woman looked like her. He had pulled over quickly, and ended up in the first place with a slightly welcoming appearance.
So, it wasn't intentional, him ending up in the bright, cheerful pub, surrounded by happy, drinking people. It was just luck - or lack thereof - or some evil twist of fate that hated him. Either way, he'd be flung into the path of temptation and for whatever reason, the singer couldn't bring himself to move out of its way.
Past experience told him that he could easily go to the bar, buy a shot - or even a beer would do, considering how lightly he'd been drinking the last eight years - and forget everything. It might not ease the pain, but at least he could forget why he was so fucking depressed in the first place.
Of course, past experience also told him that he'd remember fully well in the morning, but have a headache and a stomach full of shame to cope with as well. That certainly wasn't what Gerard wanted.
However, there were other temptations, present. Despite the fact that he could over-come the most obvious one, the recent divorcee craved more than the power to forget. Which left him completely vulnerable to other temptations, some of which were far more dangerous.
The man was lonely, sat by himself in one of the side booths and staring at the people around him. Gerard was the only one in the bright, cheerful room alone, and that was attracting more attention then he would have got begging for it.
It was only an half an hour after coming in to the club that the singer was approached. The guy doing so was dark haired – it was like Gerard's but shorter - with huge blue eyes that contrasted oddly with his dark hair. He was tall, and wearing thin glasses that rested on the bridge of his slightly over large nose. Despite these flaws to traditional standards though, the man was by no means unattractive. And to Way, he was probably the most dangerous thing in that pleasant, busy, friendly pub.
"Hi," The man stood nervously by the singer's table, where the latter sat, grimly clutching at a lemonade. He recognized Gerard, which was probably why he was so nervous, but also why he had been the first person to decide to go and speak to the lonely individual.
"Hey," Way peered up through his black hair, which had flopped into his eyes over the course of the evening.
"Uh, you look kinda lonely..." The stranger pointed out, making Gerard snorted shortly. "No, I mean, do you want some company, or something?"
The other man frowned, but in a considering way as opposed to an angry one. It was true that he was as lonely as fuck at the moment, and to be honest, what did he have to lose? He was dying for company and this guy seemed nice enough.
"Yeah sure," he nodded and smiled, trying not to give away just haw sad he was. "Thanks man. Uh, do you wanna sit down or...?"
"Sitting's good." The guy said, and Gerard slid around the booth to make room for him. "Name's Peter by the way."
"Gerard."
"Uh, want a drink or something?" The be-spectacled man asked cautiously, pretending he didn't know the answer. Also pretending that he wasn't talking to a fucking famous front man of a great band.
"Nah, I don't drink." Said front man gave his standard response to that.
"Sure? You kinda look like you need it."
"Thanks dude." Gerard snorted.
"Sorry!" Peter grinned and held up his hands apologetically. "I didn't mean it like that, honest."
The singer rolled his eyes, wondering what he did mean then. Actually, he wasn't sure what either of them had been implying to begin with. Whatever.
The two men continued to talk, Gerard very much enjoying the new company, and the lack of judgment people seemed to have when they apparently didn't know him. It was really relaxing, being treated normal for once, and not having to appease fans that held him on a pedestal.
Eventually, Peter dragged him back to the group of friends that the blue-eyed man had arrived with, and they welcomed him with open arms. It was fun, different, and Gerard managed to achieve what he had been hoping to by drinking - to forget why he was sad. Better still, he managed to forget that he was upset.
As the evening went on, his usual flamboyant nature broke out, and he ended up entertaining the others with spontaneously bursting into songs whenever there was a lull in the conversation. He wasn't drinking, but Way was almost certain that someone had slipped something into one of his lemonades or cokes or orange juices, because he was feeling slightly light-headed, and more stupid than usual. Then there was the fact that he hadn't hesitated when someone had dared him to kiss Peter.
He didn't even think that they were even being serious about him to doing it, but what the hell? He was single now. No one could stop him. The other man didn't seem to mind too much either.
In fact, Gerard knew he didn't. After that surprise, and the short moment of basking in the reaction it got him, he went back to just laughing with everyone else, and spontaneously bursting into song. But all through the rest of the night, the singer felt those blue eyes on him.
When the pub finally closed, the group split - going back to families, apartments, dogs, cats, whatever was waiting for them. Way was the only one who seemed reluctant to do so, and perhaps unsurprisingly, Peter noticed.
No sooner had the slightly tipsy singer turned to walk back to his car, the taller man wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, Gee. You wanna come back to mine?" Gerard's immediate, knee-jerk reaction was 'no'.
But then he thought about it.
He was single.
He was lonely.
There was nothing to stop him.
And he had nothing left to lose.
So he nodded.
Peter grinned, and dragged the musician in the opposite direction back to his own, nice little suburban house.
Gerard didn't remember what happened that night - but that didn't really matter. What he did remember the next morning, though, was the other man apologizing profusely and telling him it had all been a massive mistake, but that didn't matter either. In the singer's mind, it had already been the sort of arrangement that had no strings attached. Only meant to last for one night. They exchanged numbers anyway, and agreed to meet in the same pub next Friday, strictly as friends. Again, this didn't matter to much to Gerard.
What did matter though, was that he found himself heading back to the pub to collect his car, feeling far more optimistic than he had the previous day. That he had found a way to cure his loneliness, and depression - without getting pissed or high.
In his mind, getting laid was the perfect solution.
Of course, the best laid schemes of mice and men, often go awry. And this was no exception to the rule. Because, Gerard Way had been at the top of his game for the last five years of his life. And when you're at the top, the only way to go is down.
So whadd'ya think? Whadd'ya think? Whadd'ya think? Do I continue? Well, even if you say HELL NO I am, because I have the next chapter and a half written. And will upload as I see fit.
Meaning I don't get enough reviews, you don't get the next chapter for a fortnight! Hehehe - no I won't be that evil, but I might dangle this over your heads for a bit anyway. >Evil cackle<
I suppose now, none of you are going to review at all, eh?
Meh.
I fail.
Love you all!
Sx
PS - Again, thankyou to mychemicalbithbot for beta-ing. Mistakes are down to her! Nah, I'm joking, but merci anyway!
Time for a quick ramble.
So, I'm done with school!!! Admittedly, only until September, but still! I love life.
It's hot, I don't have to get up before 12pm at any time over the next two weeks, and I've been listening to Revenge all day. For the last two days running. And if that isn't enough to put you in a good mood, fuck only knows what is.
So, I what did I do, being so happy? Decide to start on a new story! XD 'Cos you know - that's how I roll!
Errm, I also just had an argument with my Gran about abortion and a conversation with my little brother about whether Gerard or Frank would top. I kid you not.
And had a water-fight and got asked to prom. I'm going to try and make him wear eye-liner.
Annywaaaay - le story. All you need to know is that it's set in the present(ish), but I nullified Frank and Gerard's kids. I just would feel guilty stealing their Daddies, so y'know!
Also, I probably should have put some more warnings on this, but meh. Sex covers it all!
(Yes! Sex is always the answer, it's never the question, 'cos the answer's yes, or the answer's YES --- Imagine me bursting in to very off-tune song!)
Now... on with the show!
Sx
Surprisingly, waiting for Gerard to sign his divorce papers was nearly as hard as it had been for Frank to sign his own. The latter wasn't entirely sure why this was; perhaps something to do with the fact that when he spilt with Jamia it had been on perfectly good terms - they just didn't love each other anymore, and would be better off separated, not to mention they would be able to move on with their lives. This didn't make it easy though - signing away part of his life. Perhaps, it was empathy for Gerard that made it so hard for Frank to sit still now. That, and the fact that unlike his, this was a divorce in which the couple were completely at odds with each other.
Something had happened between the two, and not even their closest friends had any idea what it was. They refused to talk about it, and the most that Frank knew was that the man had turned up round his brother's house early one morning, on the verge of tears. And now, less than a month after that, a settlement was being signed, splitting their joint account in half and confirming that the house the two had shared belonged to Gerard. And still, no one had any idea what it was that created such a huge rift between the supposedly happy couple.
Frank shifted in his seat, slightly inpatient. He was anxious for his friend, and would be lying if he said he wasn't hopeful. He'd also be lying if he said that he knew what he was hoping for. Part of him - most of him - was praying that Gerard and Lindsey would finally talk to one another, look into each other's eyes and re-discover the love that had made them so happy for nearly five years now.
Apparently, that wasn't going to happen though - barely a minute later, a tall, dark haired girl stalked out of the office, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Frank stood, trying to comfort her - after all, over the last few years, he'd become very good friends with Lindsey - but she waved him aside with a small smile that begged him to leave her alone. He did so, trying to ignore the track of black that ran down her pale skin. Then she was gone.
Frank turned back to see the woman's now ex-husband standing in the doorway, looking equally miserable. The shorter man frowned, again wondering what on Earth had happened that was awful enough to split the two up. It was clear that neither party was happy with it - surely they could have sorted something out? Some compromise to keep them both happy, without splitting up so finally?
The man shook his head sadly, and then walked over to Gerard, who was still standing stock still in the office doorway. His hair was black again, and it contrasted starkly with his now chalky skin. Without second thoughts, Frank wrapped his arms around the taller man's waist and allowed his friend to cry on his shoulder.
A group of lawyers squeezed out around the two, giving respectful nods if one happened to catch their eye. Neither man paid them any attention though - one was too busy crying, the other, putting all effort into comforting his friend. Despite this, the entire time, a question was swimming around in Frank's head.
What the hell had gone wrong?
They broke apart after a few minutes, the younger of the two leading the other over to one of the plush love seats that lined the room. The men sat there for a little while, Gerard desperately trying to staunch his tears whilst his friend was at lost as to how to comfort him. When he had calmed down a bit, Frank pulled him back into his arms, and just hugged him for a few short moments. To hell with what anyone watching would think - his friend needed comfort, and Goddamn him if he wasn't going to give it to him.
Somewhat surprisingly, this seemed to pacify Gerard further. The man pulled back and wiped at his puffy, red eyes with his sleeve, smiling weakly at his tattooed friend. Iero returned the gesture, but it was equally false.
"Come on." He said, standing up. "Let's blow this dump."
Gerard laughed softly at that, and followed his friend out of the building into the car waiting outside. It wasn't anything flashy - although Goodness knows that either of them could have afforded something much nicer. But it was the sort of car that blended in, gave privacy; and that was something both men had been lacking for the last five or six years of their lives.
Don't be mistaken - both loved the fame, or more to the point, the impact they'd somehow managed to have on people's lives. Although it was something that Way was more commonly associated with, Frank never got tired of hearing kids claim that they'd saved their lives. In his opinion, anyone who took that for granted, or got bored of it, had something seriously wrong with them.
The fact that he - lame, short arse, Frank Iero from New Jersey had actually had some impact on the world, had changed it, even if it was in an imperceptibly small way, was just amazing. But sometimes, sometimes there were times when you wanted your space, and didn't want any obsessed fan girls to notice you.
Now, as tears began to re-appear in Gerard's eyes, was one of those times.
The two drove through the streets of LA in silence. It wasn't the comfortable, easy, lack of noise that the two usually shared, but a tense one that needed to be filled. However, Gerard was too caught up in his miserable thoughts to care, and Frank was finding it difficult to form words. Every time the guitarist thought of something to say, the sounds would catch in his throat, and so - nothing was said. They remained trapped in their heads.
It was only when Iero finally pulled up outside the huge white house that belonged to his band mate that words finally came to him: "Are you sure you're gonna be ok?" Stupid, stupid fucking question. The answer was written all over Gerard's face. "I mean, do you wanna stay over my house or something for a few nights? So you don't have to be alone?"
Remembering back to his own divorce, Frank knew that there were few things more depressing than returning to an empty house after signing those wretched papers. It was a little non-sensical, after all. He'd been living alone for months prior to that day, but it was still a fucking downer. And again - this was harder for Gerard on account of the fact that neither he nor his wife really seemed to want the spilt.
Which brought back that seemingly unanswerable question - what went wrong?
Way smiled and shook his head. "No, I'll be fine. Thanks anyway Frankie." And he closed the car door.
The younger man sighed as he watched the other walk away. He wanted to run after him, force him to talk to him and find out what the hell was going on. He also wanted to comfort the guy, maybe to look after him a bit until he felt better. Most of all, Frank really did not want to leave Gerard alone right at that moment. Unfortunately he knew his friend too well, and knew that nothing good was going to happen to the singer in the near future. It was always like that - with both of the Way brothers - one something bad happened, and they just built up and up until they were plunged into a downwards spiral of misery and... self-harm, more often than not.
Admittedly, Gerard had grown up a fair amount since the last time he'd been trapped in a depressive spiral, and maybe that's how Frank justified his actions to himself as he drove away. But then, for almost the entirety of those happy years, Lindsey had been there - being his rock, his emotional support. And now she was gone what was left to hold that man up? One of the few people in the world who could was currently driving away, even knowing he was making a mistake.
Iero wasn't thinking about the future though - he was wondering about the past. Still mulling over any possible problems that could make a seemingly idyllic marriage collapse. There were thousand of answers of course, but neither of the two seemed like people to commit adultery. Abuse was out the question, especially if Lindsey was on the receiving end. After all, Frank would bet on her winning a fight against Gerard any day. And as it seemed to be her instigating this divorce, it was doubtful that it was the other way around.
Nothing made sense.
The guitarist continued to drive around the darkening city for a while, before deciding that he may as well go up to the studio. The four of them - himself, Mikey, Gerard and Ray, that was - were supposed to working on a new album, but somehow the old one kept on catching up with them. People were still booking them out for shows, and they were due to go on tour again in little less than two months.
That wasn't too much of a worry though - half of The Black Parade had been recorded whilst they were still touring Revenge. It was only the editing and finishing touches that had been done in the studio. Plus, if they were on tour, Frank had a ready-made excuse to keep an eye on Gerard.
Not just because the guitarist thought he needed it, but because he wanted to. Because there was still that part inside of him that had feeling for the other man - the part that he had hated himself for whilst waiting in that office for his friend to emerge. Whilst most of him was hoping for Lindsey and Gerard to fall in love all over again, and realize they were making a huge mistake in separating - thus saving both huge amounts of heartache - there had been another part that felt... smug.
It was something he'd never admit, something he wished he could will out of existence, but something he could never deny. It was the fact that deep inside he was overjoyed with the fact that Gerard was free again. Free for Frank to confess his love to, and free to act on it.
For obvious reasons though, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. But still, the possibility was there, and sooner or later, the guitarist was going to give in to the temptation that hung in front of him. It was just a matter of time.
Sighing, Iero killed the engine on his car and made his way up to the floor where a recording studio had already formed. Two of his beloved guitars were there, and if there was one way to relieve stress - it was by playing, just for the sake of playing. Feeling more at ease already, Frank sat down, and began to strum.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey Way – no, Ballato - sighed as her cell phone rung shrilly again. She had little doubt that it was Gerard, and even if it wasn't, she wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone.
"Aren't you gonna get tha'?" Kitty asked, flopping down on the sofa next to her friend. Lindsey had been occupying her spare room for a few months and would probably be staying there a few longer - however long it would take to get a decent apartment in this city. Kitty didn't mind - the two had lived together often enough for her to be used to it, and truthfully, living alone did get very tedious after a while. Although, having a recent divorcee living under her roof wasn't proving to be the funnest thing in the world. Whatever, she was Lindsey's friend - she wasn't going to kick her out for being a downer.
"No." The afore-mentioned sighed again. "It's probably Gerard. Even if it isn't I don't want to listen to some randomer crying down the phone at me about how sorry they are."
Kitty nodded understandingly; that had been happening a lot recently. The phone rung a few more times before stopping, either going on to voicemail, or having the other person give up. Lindsey hoped they had given up.
"So," she said after a few seconds of silence. "What d'you wanna do then?"
The other woman let out a huff and threw her head back over the top of the sofa, long black hair flying everywhere. She didn't want to do anything, she just wanted to lie there, maybe just sleep for like, a few years. And as much as she loved Kitty, she wished the other woman wasn't always so out-going. Seriously, couldn't she sit still for a few seconds? Mind you, that's what Lindsey was usually like. She wondered if it was this annoying for everyone else.
"Nothing really... Curl up and die maybe."
"Hey!" The drummer elbowed her playfully. "Don't be like that! You gotta... cheer up!"
Lindsey snapped. "You don't fucking get it, do you Jessica? I just got fucking divorced - most people aren't skipping through fields half an hour later!" She made to storm off, only to have her friend catch her by the wrist and pull her back.
"Don't, Linz, please." In the space of a few seconds, the girl's tone had changed completely. It was now soft, concerned and as apologetic as Kitty would ever get. "Look, I just don't want you to wallow, y'know? I get that it must be fucking depressing to get divorced from a guy you've loved for, what? The last five years, now? But you've been separated for months, nothing's really changed, if you think about it."
The taller woman glared down at her for another few seconds, but she rapidly deflated and flopped back down. "I know, I know. It's just... a pile of horse shit." Pause. "And I'm kinda worried 'bout him - you know Gerard, he doesn't get on too well."
"You mean, you think he might become depressed again?"
"Yeah," Another deep sigh. Kitty was really getting sick of hearing those unhappy sounds come out of her friend's mouth. "I mean, what if he starts drinking again? Goes back to that frame of mind? He's nearly fucking killed himself before!"
"But he didn't." The drummer reasoned. "He got through it - and without you. He'll be able to this time. Plus, if what you told me is true, he'll be far better off in the long run."
"What if I'm wrong though? We'll have gone through all this for nothing!"
"You can hook up again. Anyway, based on what you've said, well, you already know what I think. What you did was right - neither of you could carry on livin' like that."
"I guess."
"Come on!" Kitty stood up and offered her hand to her friend, who took it tentatively. "I'm sure I can think of something to cheer you up."
Lindsey rolled her eyes, but stood up and followed the shorter woman anyway. She didn't want to stay sad, and anyway, the drummer was right - her marriage, as amazing as it may have seemed to an outsider, had been full of holes. And whilst most they had bridged over most, learned to live and love one another, despite their flaws, there were some things that couldn't be ignored. It may take a while, but sooner or later, the couple would have much better lives because of Lindsey's actions.
She hoped, at least.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank never should have left.
He should have followed his gut instinct, and stayed with his friend - even if only for a few hours. Instead, he had left Gerard on his own, to do nothing but wallow in his misery.
The only thing that had kept him going these last few weeks was clinging on to the false hope that he could win Lindsey back and convince her that their love could survive, despite his... disposition. Now, even that was gone, and he didn't know what to do.
He just couldn't understand what was so wrong with him - he loved his wife, he really did, so why did she have to end it? She had been one of the best things in his life, so why did he have to fuck things up?
He had tried calling his wife (he refused to think of her as being his ex), but she hadn't picked up. Then he realized that his name was probably coming up on the screen as he did, so he'd gone to the local electronics store simply to buy a new one. That hadn't worked either though, and then, Gerard didn't know what to do.
For a long few hours, he'd just moped about at home debating whether or not to call one of his friends. They didn't want to talk to him though - they were all happily married without any stupid complications screwing things up. As for Frank, he'd probably had enough of him. Just like Lindsey had.
No - that wasn't true. His wife loved him - had loved him at the very least - she wasn't some sort of slut, or gold digger. Plus, she had never appeared pleased to be divorcing him. It was just one of those things she felt she had to do.
Head full of confused thoughts, and longing for company, Gerard had left his house, planning on just driving around the city for a while. Of course, that quickly went to pot, as every song on the radio reminded him of Lindsey, and every woman looked like her. He had pulled over quickly, and ended up in the first place with a slightly welcoming appearance.
So, it wasn't intentional, him ending up in the bright, cheerful pub, surrounded by happy, drinking people. It was just luck - or lack thereof - or some evil twist of fate that hated him. Either way, he'd be flung into the path of temptation and for whatever reason, the singer couldn't bring himself to move out of its way.
Past experience told him that he could easily go to the bar, buy a shot - or even a beer would do, considering how lightly he'd been drinking the last eight years - and forget everything. It might not ease the pain, but at least he could forget why he was so fucking depressed in the first place.
Of course, past experience also told him that he'd remember fully well in the morning, but have a headache and a stomach full of shame to cope with as well. That certainly wasn't what Gerard wanted.
However, there were other temptations, present. Despite the fact that he could over-come the most obvious one, the recent divorcee craved more than the power to forget. Which left him completely vulnerable to other temptations, some of which were far more dangerous.
The man was lonely, sat by himself in one of the side booths and staring at the people around him. Gerard was the only one in the bright, cheerful room alone, and that was attracting more attention then he would have got begging for it.
It was only an half an hour after coming in to the club that the singer was approached. The guy doing so was dark haired – it was like Gerard's but shorter - with huge blue eyes that contrasted oddly with his dark hair. He was tall, and wearing thin glasses that rested on the bridge of his slightly over large nose. Despite these flaws to traditional standards though, the man was by no means unattractive. And to Way, he was probably the most dangerous thing in that pleasant, busy, friendly pub.
"Hi," The man stood nervously by the singer's table, where the latter sat, grimly clutching at a lemonade. He recognized Gerard, which was probably why he was so nervous, but also why he had been the first person to decide to go and speak to the lonely individual.
"Hey," Way peered up through his black hair, which had flopped into his eyes over the course of the evening.
"Uh, you look kinda lonely..." The stranger pointed out, making Gerard snorted shortly. "No, I mean, do you want some company, or something?"
The other man frowned, but in a considering way as opposed to an angry one. It was true that he was as lonely as fuck at the moment, and to be honest, what did he have to lose? He was dying for company and this guy seemed nice enough.
"Yeah sure," he nodded and smiled, trying not to give away just haw sad he was. "Thanks man. Uh, do you wanna sit down or...?"
"Sitting's good." The guy said, and Gerard slid around the booth to make room for him. "Name's Peter by the way."
"Gerard."
"Uh, want a drink or something?" The be-spectacled man asked cautiously, pretending he didn't know the answer. Also pretending that he wasn't talking to a fucking famous front man of a great band.
"Nah, I don't drink." Said front man gave his standard response to that.
"Sure? You kinda look like you need it."
"Thanks dude." Gerard snorted.
"Sorry!" Peter grinned and held up his hands apologetically. "I didn't mean it like that, honest."
The singer rolled his eyes, wondering what he did mean then. Actually, he wasn't sure what either of them had been implying to begin with. Whatever.
The two men continued to talk, Gerard very much enjoying the new company, and the lack of judgment people seemed to have when they apparently didn't know him. It was really relaxing, being treated normal for once, and not having to appease fans that held him on a pedestal.
Eventually, Peter dragged him back to the group of friends that the blue-eyed man had arrived with, and they welcomed him with open arms. It was fun, different, and Gerard managed to achieve what he had been hoping to by drinking - to forget why he was sad. Better still, he managed to forget that he was upset.
As the evening went on, his usual flamboyant nature broke out, and he ended up entertaining the others with spontaneously bursting into songs whenever there was a lull in the conversation. He wasn't drinking, but Way was almost certain that someone had slipped something into one of his lemonades or cokes or orange juices, because he was feeling slightly light-headed, and more stupid than usual. Then there was the fact that he hadn't hesitated when someone had dared him to kiss Peter.
He didn't even think that they were even being serious about him to doing it, but what the hell? He was single now. No one could stop him. The other man didn't seem to mind too much either.
In fact, Gerard knew he didn't. After that surprise, and the short moment of basking in the reaction it got him, he went back to just laughing with everyone else, and spontaneously bursting into song. But all through the rest of the night, the singer felt those blue eyes on him.
When the pub finally closed, the group split - going back to families, apartments, dogs, cats, whatever was waiting for them. Way was the only one who seemed reluctant to do so, and perhaps unsurprisingly, Peter noticed.
No sooner had the slightly tipsy singer turned to walk back to his car, the taller man wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, Gee. You wanna come back to mine?" Gerard's immediate, knee-jerk reaction was 'no'.
But then he thought about it.
He was single.
He was lonely.
There was nothing to stop him.
And he had nothing left to lose.
So he nodded.
Peter grinned, and dragged the musician in the opposite direction back to his own, nice little suburban house.
Gerard didn't remember what happened that night - but that didn't really matter. What he did remember the next morning, though, was the other man apologizing profusely and telling him it had all been a massive mistake, but that didn't matter either. In the singer's mind, it had already been the sort of arrangement that had no strings attached. Only meant to last for one night. They exchanged numbers anyway, and agreed to meet in the same pub next Friday, strictly as friends. Again, this didn't matter to much to Gerard.
What did matter though, was that he found himself heading back to the pub to collect his car, feeling far more optimistic than he had the previous day. That he had found a way to cure his loneliness, and depression - without getting pissed or high.
In his mind, getting laid was the perfect solution.
Of course, the best laid schemes of mice and men, often go awry. And this was no exception to the rule. Because, Gerard Way had been at the top of his game for the last five years of his life. And when you're at the top, the only way to go is down.
So whadd'ya think? Whadd'ya think? Whadd'ya think? Do I continue? Well, even if you say HELL NO I am, because I have the next chapter and a half written. And will upload as I see fit.
Meaning I don't get enough reviews, you don't get the next chapter for a fortnight! Hehehe - no I won't be that evil, but I might dangle this over your heads for a bit anyway. >Evil cackle<
I suppose now, none of you are going to review at all, eh?
Meh.
I fail.
Love you all!
Sx
PS - Again, thankyou to mychemicalbithbot for beta-ing. Mistakes are down to her! Nah, I'm joking, but merci anyway!
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