Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

Kiss the "Good Life" Goodbye

by wayuphighify 1 review

He’s sick of waiting for someone to save him, he can’t save himself. (One shot)

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Published: 2012-05-31 - Updated: 2012-06-01 - 1043 words - Complete

1Moving
Ryan walked up the stairs in the half empty building, not wanting to run into anyone in the elevator. He knows what he’s doing; he knows he shouldn’t. He knows that if he was patient with his life it will end up okay, but he’s sick of waiting.

He’s sick of waiting for someone to save him, he can’t save himself. He spent time reflecting his life, his failed relationships, commitments, and promises that make him understand why everyone eventually gives up on him. His life has been good to him, but not to others. He hates that he wrecked everything.

Ryan knows he can not be loved.

The steps get harder to climb as he takes his time walking up the stairs.

Nobody will even know he is gone. He didn’t tell anybody, he didn’t bring an ID or something so people can identify him. They won’t notice right away that he’s gone. They won’t actually care, either.

Ryan opens the door to the roof of the building, looking out on the early morning. The dark clouds surround him, looking as if a storm is going to come on. He walks closer to the edge, about twelve feet away taking deep breaths and trying to calm him down. It’s all his life as come too, it’s his only choice. He rubs his palms together, looking straight up. His dad’s certainly not up there, and any relative wouldn’t be, and he won’t either. If there is a Heaven or Hell, Ryan knows he would end up in Hell, too. He hurt too many people, broke too many hearts and anything is better than having to live in a world that reminds him of it every day.
Three steps are taken as he approaches the edge, only being about nine feet away. He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for; maybe his knight in shining armor that has always been there for him.

Ryan’s too scared of life. He doesn’t want to mess it up, what they have or used to have. It’s simply better this way to Ryan.

Four more steps are taken, the twenty-three year old never felt nervous as some tears peak from his eyes. It was a necessarily a good run- his life- everything he done has generally been unsuccessful by some means. It drives him to do this as he walks over to the ledge.

Nobody cares. Nobody would want to save him even if they saw him doing this. He stands on the ledge, about to lower himself onto the overhang.

Tears run down his face, eyes beginning to get blurry and puffy as sobs escape from his mouth.

He’ll be okay, everything will be okay.

He lowers himself down slowly and carefully, trying not to lose his grip as he stands on the edge. The overwhelming feeling of knowing that these are his last moments overwhelm him as he looks out into the morning, realizing how he is no benefit to the Earth.

He’s just one person. Practically a speck of dust that nobody knows is there. This is the moment where he can’t help but to feel guilty for everything he’s done.

His time has come.

He takes a deep breath, almost taking one step forward and- hands, firm hands grabbing under his shoulders hoisting him up. Ryan gasps, not believing or understanding what’s happening.

“LET ME GO.” Ryan booms, staring at the ground that is getting taken from him.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Brendon says, pulling him up from the top of the building as he talks into his ears. Ryan’s body goes limp as he can’t hold back his tears, not believing anything that is happening. He’s supposed to be dead.

Brendon pulls Ryan, them both falling back onto the solid ground. They don’t get up but instead lie on the roof.

“You can’t do that Ryan. You can’t do that to me.” Brendon whispers in Ryan’s ears, hugging him he shakes.

Ryan can’t talk but rather cries harder onto Brendon’s chest. “Never- never do that to me. You,” he takes a deep breath, trying to hold back all the tears, “you can’t.”

Time goes by as Ryan cries, Brendon running his fingers through the man’s hair. Ryan listens to Brendon’s heart beat; takes in the feeling of his chest rising and falling with each breath, noticing the small breaks as Brendon tries to not cry.

Ryan tries to get the courage to speak, “I won’t.”

Ryan looks up to Brendon as Brendon kisses his forehead.

Brendon can’t believe anything that’s happened and that he didn’t see it coming. Ryan has been acting differently, but managed to keep himself so bottled up and silenced you couldn’t tell if anything is wrong.

Brendon was just walking, not having any particular destination until he saw Ryan. He managed to follow him up the stairs from a distance and on the roof; staying completely quiet. He had to sprint to save Ryan when he lowered himself, and grabbed him. His mind was full of disbelief and utter terror but he saved his life; it was worth it.

Brendon and Ryan stand up, Brendon grabbing Ryan’s hand and looking into his eyes.

“I love you.” Brendon says, Ryan’s eyes drop but return to Brendon’s.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Ryan chokes, “I would just mess everything up.”

“No you wouldn’t, even if you do I’m not going anywhere.” Brendon moves his face closer to Ryan’s, feeling his breath and wiping away the tears that continue to run down his face.

Ryan moves in for a light kiss, lips just falling against each other’s lightly.

“Promise?” Ryan asks, stomach still filled with butterflies from the innocent kiss.

“Promise.”


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A/N
A ONE shot? From me? Well isn't this barely seen. I'm not happy how this turned out, but your little reviews and rates make my life (obviously I have a lot to live for).
Thanks for reading!
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