FicWad

“When’s next Troupe?”
“Dunno.”
“What’s this about Troupe?”
“SSHHH! Not so loud!”
“Sorry! But really, when is it?”
“Don’t know!”
“Go find Sid!”
“Sid?”
“Gumb! The one that started Midnighting.”
“Wish I could. I had biology with him, but he wasn’t there this morning.”
“Must’ve ditched.”

“What’s going on?”
“Have you seen John?”
“John who?”
“Gumb! He’s the one that started Troupe.”
“Oh! I thought that was his brother.”
“John’s an only child.”
“The hell he is! His brother’s a jerk.”

~*~

Gerard managed to dodge his way back to his dorm through bruised genres of teenagers asking if he’d seen Sid.
Opening the door, Gerard caught Sid’s outline by the edge of his bed. “Everybody’s looking for you,” he informed, starting on his homework.
“Are you going home for Thanksgiving next week?” Sid asked quietly. “Yeah, I think so, why?” Gerard responded.
Out of the corner of his eye, Gerard saw Sid shrug. “No reason. Next Troupe meeting’s next week, right before everybody gets let out for break.”
Gerard nodded.
There was a brief silence.
“Wanna hear something weird?” Sid said from the corner of the room.
“Why not?”
“I don’t remember what I did this morning. Like, I remember getting up, but that’s about it.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yup. You know how I get really bad nightmares?”
“Yeah.”
“They’re getting worse.”
Gerard paused, pencil midway through writing ‘Baptist’. “How much worse?”
Sid didn’t answer, at first. Then, spitting everything forward, he just broke down.
“I don’t even know. Everything’s gonna be okay. I feel like there’s something that’s me and something not-me. I don’t know. I don’t even know. I wanna go home, but still, there’s something wrong, like with me, I think I’m cray-cray, dude, but there’s not much we can do about that, it’s a preexisting medical condition. There’s a girl and a boy and there’s me, so what am I? Am I the dragon? Am I stoned? I feel stoned. I don’t do drugs. How was your day?”

Gerard blinked. Sid was rocking back and forth, his confession not seeming to bring him any sort of peace.
“Sid? I think you should see somebody.”
Sid stared at Gerard blankly. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Then who...? You know what? Fine. Be like that,” Gerard huffed, gathering up his homework and starting towards the door.
“Hey, wait. When did you get here?” Sid asked, eyes narrowing.
Gerard opened the door.
“Gerard! Wait!”
Gerard slammed the door, hoping that he at least caught Sid’s fingers in the edge of it.

“What was that about?” Sid asked his brother. John was lying on Sid’s bunk, a yo-yo attached to one finger. “No idea. Maybe he didn’t see me?”
“Nah, that couldn’t be it,” Sid mentioned, shaking his head.
John shrugged, yo-yo smacking into the palm of his hand.
“So, next Troupe meeting is night before Thanksgiving break?” he asked, watching Sid struggle to his feet. “That’s when I’ve got it down. But yeah, what do you think I should do?” Sid asked, looking anxious.
“About?”
“My issues.”
“Bro, you’ve dealt with dad for like, ten years. You’ll do okay.”
Sid nodded, a small grin forming at the edge of his mouth. “Yeah. I’ll be okay.”
“Repeat after me: We are not crazy,” John commanded.
“We are not crazy.”
“We do not need help.”
“We do not need help,” Sid intoned.
“We are okay.”
“We are okay.”
“That is the mantra. If anybody asks, that’s what we’re gonna say, alright?”
“A’ight. I’ve homework, wanna listen to some Eminem?” Sid asked.
“Eminem sucks, Sidney.”
Sid laughed. John smirked, yo-yo snapping out and swinging back into his palm.

Gerard managed to sneak back to Dorm five after dark, after spreading the word about next week’s fight. Sid had definitely been high as a kite, but hopefully he had came down.
There was a smacking noise that came from behind the Dorm. Oh, God. Hopefully Sid wasn’t still stoned and wandering around. Peeking around the edge of the Dorm, Gerard saw Sid leaning against the back of it, a yo-yo around one finger.
“Sid! What’re you doing? It’s late!” Gerard hissed.
Sid ignored him, snapping out the yo-yo and bringing it back in an arc.
“Are you waiting for your brother or something?” Gerard whispered, looking around. He’d never met Sid’s brother, and sort of hoped Sid would introduce him.
Sid laughed shortly, then finally spoke.
“Nah. My brother’s an ass. I hate him so much. Like, you have no idea. I know he’s the tortured one, but still. You don’t know what it’s like. Everybody’s screaming his name, and I’m just the Moon. Nobody loves the moon.”
Gerard stared, openmouthed. What? Maybe Sid and his brother had a fight or something. “Uh, that’s great. Maybe you should go inside now?”
Sid ignored him, snapping the yo-yo into the sky. Maybe something really was wrong. Maybe he was just sleepwalking.
“Are...are you okay?”
“Yes! I’m fine!” Sid answered too quickly, then finally took a look at Gerard. Wait, no, Gerard retracted that thought. He was looking through him.
“Who are you, exactly?” Sid asked, staring at something just behind Gerard.
Gerard took a step away, then left, going quickly into the dorm and shutting the door. Sid said he was fine. He’s okay. He’s just gone a little loopy from not fighting, that’s all. Or maybe he’s stressed or kidding or something! Yeah! Ha ha ha! Good joke! Yeah!
Gerard heard the whizz-smack of Sid’s yo-yo and the sound made hairs rise on the back of his neck. He quickly took off his shoes, changed his clothes into the sweats and t-shirt he wore for bed, clambered up his ladder like a monkey and hid under his blanket.
What the hell was going on? Sid’s a psycho, and he’s gonna come in here with a chainsaw, and...
“You okay?” Mikey’s sleepy voice floated upwards to Gerard’s ears.
“I’m okay. Go back to sleep, Mikes,” Gerard whispered, wondering if that was a lie or not.