Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > run from yourself youll never win
run from yourself youll never win
0 reviewsfranks a child stuck in the system. what did he do to cause this? and can he escape his past demons?
-1Illiterate
day 1
notebook entery 1
notebook number 11
todays january 1st. i normally dont keep track of the date. no reason to but with each new series of notebook or journal as the court calls it, its the begining of the year again. so no more intros for my notebook
im sitting in the car headed for another foster home. my social worker is driving and we are both quiet everytime this happens. not to help he looks like an FBI agent. black coat and tie, black pants and even black shades. hes like my body gaurd more than anything... the only one to take me away from the bad places ever since day one. something none of the families im put in is that im a cold blooded killer. i wont deny it. now im 11 but i was 8 at the time. my dad was drunk and so was my mom... nothing good ever comes fron alcoholics and ive always known ever since the begining. i had to defend my sister from those dumb asses and look where it got me. they took her away and now im going from one house to another because of the same reasons. seriously why cant i just kill them all. all parents.
*
as tears come to franks eyes the driver looks over at him, "writting about that day again arent you... is the counciling helping?" he looks away from the small young boy and back to the road.
frank stays quiet a moment looking out the window and twisting the notebook up tight, "No... its not helping. only tells me the problems i have." as he speaks frank combs his hands through his hair, "Are we almost there? im tired."
"try and get some sleep." the social worker states turning off the highway, "i would say thirty more minutes okay?"
frank nods, lean s his head on the window, and closes his eyes even though he knew he couldnt sleep in a car and so did the social worker, "im sorry frank." the social worker appologizes.
frank nods and throws his notebook in the back seat with his things, "Wheres the house this time? not woods again right? that was a fucking nightmare." frank cringes at the thought of his previous family and drifts into a bit of a day dream
*
as the two children run through the forest their breath can be seen as they suck in and out, "come on frankie faster!! hes coming closer!" the smaller but faster girl screams, "leave us alone! we didnt do anything!!"
as they enter a stone covered area every footstep can be heard and then CRUNCH! frank falls onto his side and skids across the rock. grasping his arm is the man hes supposed to call father. his red bloodshot eyes dart from frank to his daughter and back to frank. sam rushes over to frank but he yells at her
"No! he'll get you too! run! get out of here!" frank yells befor the man shoves a sock into franks mouth and drags him back toward the house.
with tears streaming down frank and the girls eyes frank closes his eyes tight.
*
frank feels a hand on his shoulder and jerks away opening his eyes abruptly, "no dont please stop!!" tears come to his eyes but he blinks them away when he sees the social worker.
"frankie, are you okay? you looked scared. was it a nightmare?" the social worker askes facing him in the parked car, "we're here but if youre not ready... we can talk first."
frank hesitates and looks around making sure he was back in the car, "no... ill be fine. i promise. it was only a nightmare thats all... well a memory. ill be sure to write about it later. promise."
frank reaches for the door handle but the social worker takes his hand to stop him causing frank to flinch, "sorry frankie... i want to have your medican upped. i know you dont like it but you shouldnt have to be so on edge all the time. is that okay frankie?"
the social worker lets go of his hand as he nods in responce and opens the door to get his stuff out of the back. as they both walk up the drive frank looks back at the car and at the social worker.
"dont worry. im not going anywhere until dinners over. ive already spoken to the care takers. they have two sons frank. maybe youll get along with one of them or even both." the social worker speaks with a spark in his voice, "try and be possitive i know you can."
frank shrugs, "yeah maybe... i dont want to move again tyler." frnak stares at the welcome mat and waits for a responce.
he knows better than to call the social worker by his first name but whenever he does tyler knows frank must be scared. sometimes frank hid it and other times he let tyler know but this time instead of reassurance tyler simply rang the doorbell.
after a moment of movement and shuffling in the house the front door swung open causing frank to hide behind tyler, "hi there! welcome!" says the woman with sandy brown hair, "This must be frank!" she looks behind tyler to see franks eyes focused on her shoes.
"yes mrs way this is frank iero. hes having a bit of trouble adjusting but i assure you give him some time and he can. he always does. may we come in? is mr way around? i would like to speak with the two of you in private if you dont mind." tyler says looking at the woman and then down at frank, "Frankie why dont you come inside too? you might catch a cold."
frank shakes his head bringing himself out of a deep thought and back to mrs way and tyler, "sorry... yes of course i can."
*
as always like clock work or something tyler and i were lead into the livingroom. i sat on their much too soft couch as tyler and the women walked into the dining room. im not sure what theyre talking about this time but probly my last family and... i dont know im supposed to trust tyler but i swear he tells every family in my life about the horrible things i did and how i never cared.... well thats what they say. no i care... i care more than anyone in this world. i know that for a fact. im just really defencive thats all.
*
as frank settled into the couch writting he failed to notice the much taller but just as skinny boy coming toward the couch. when he finally glanced up he jumped to his feet and moved away into a corner slowly.
the taller boy picked up franks notebook and held it out to him, "you dropped this." he says timidly, "dont you want it?... oh i get it. youre antisocial like my brother arent you? dont like new people and groups of them?"
as mikey spoke frank continued to stare down the notebook in mikeys hand. no one but tyler and the judge ever touched his notebook and if they did he was normally beatten senceless for whatever he had written that day. to mikeys slight surprise frank slowly reached for the notebook but before he could get it mr way appeared from the hall and snatched it from mikey.
"and what is this?" he askes opening to the only page written on, "is this yours boy?"
frank nods, "umm yes sir. thats mine. can i have it back?"
mr way looks between the boys a moment, "no. i think ill hold on to it a while. besides no boy of mine writes in a journal!" mr way yells ripping out the pages.
"that will be enough." says a voice in the door way.
the three of them looked toward the voice and saw tyler standing with mrs way, "honey what do you think youre doing? frankie has to use that. give it back now." without hesitation tyler takes it from mr way and hands it to frank, "i never want to see that again. now boys how about the two of you go downstairs. mikey can introduce you to gerard."
mikey nods and pushes frank out of the room quickly, "hide that okay? my dads not always like this hes just... not himself right now thats all." mikey goes to the door of the basement and opens it, "not afraid of basements are you?"
frank looks down the stairs with wide eyes, "umm actually... i am. do we have to go down there?"
mikey smiles and laughs, "no we dont. you have to meet him at dinner though. he asked that i dont bring you down there anyways and gerards orders are above theirs any day." mikey takes franks hand and leads him up stairs to his bedroom, "this is my room youre welcome anytime unless the doors closed then just knock. your rooms right over there if youd like to put away your things befor dinner.... you dont say much do you?"
frank smiles and nods, "im more of a writter myself but... you talk too much." frank giggles and takes his things over to his room and closes the door.
mikey hesitates to tell him the no doors closed rule but decides to leave that up to mom and dad. instead he goes into his own room and listens to smashing pumpkins.
*
so this place isnt that bad yet. the father seems like as alcoholic and aggressive at that but i can handle it... with my 2 new brothers. this day seems to be one of the longest days ever but im sure ive had longer. all i have left to do today is unpack my things and eat dinner and then what ive been waiting for.. sleep.
so ill write more tomorrow but its lights out for you for today.
*
as frank closes the notebook he hears a knock at the door and sees mrs way enter, "hello frankie. your social worker left. he said he normally says goodbye but there was an emergancy. so youll get to have dinner with us without him tonight. its finished so you can wash up and come down whem youre ready."
she leaves the room making sure the door is wide open as frank follows behind her, "what do you think so far?" asks mikey starttling frank, "sorry. jumpy too i see."
"yeah... its good here i like it." he says in a low voice going into the kitchen.
mrs way goes to the table and sits, "grab a seat boys. gerard and your father should be right up."
mikeys smile quickly washes away when he hears her words, "what does dad think he did this time?" he asks in a whisper and sitting next to frank.
mrs way whipes the hair from her face and looks down at the plate, "you know your father doesnt like you boys cooped up in your rooms all day. you need some air and gerard didnt want to come up."
frank looks between the two worried faces and bows his head too. when they finally hear a door slam frank flinches.
"i dont want to be up here." says a low voice.
there was no answer only a young fifteen year old looking boy stumble into the dinning room, "you are a part of this family and we eat as a family so sit. no going downstairs until elevan tonight." mr ways harsh voice rang through the room as he sat and started serving himself, "go on eat then. you too frank. eat as much at youd like."
frank continues to stare at his plate wanting nothing more than to go back to his own room. mikey looks at hin a moment, takes a serving spoon and pours some pasta on franks plate. he then added sauce and nudged franks shoulder.
"the boy needs to do things for himself. frank learn to be more open youre family here and gerard introduce yourself." mr way demands staring at his oldest son.
gerard glances at frank, "hi.. im gee. i mean gerard." with that said gerard stared at his plate and began to eat.
"yeah we all call him gerard normally... unless we're mad." mikey says quietly.
frank smiles and continues to look at the food on his plate, "can... can i be excused?"
mikey looks at him with a questoning look assuming frank can already read what hed like to say out loud, 'wha the fuck are you thinking?!? we dont waste food in this family he would kill us!!"
mr way glares at him, "no frank you may not leave the table until your plate is clean."
looking at the meat in the sauce frank sits up slightly, "but i dont eat meat."
"you will eat what my wife cooks or you wont eat at all!!" mr way snaps standing and going to franks spot at the table, "come here boy! youre staying in your fucking room!! be happy you have a room frank iero because that could end today!!" the father grabs him by the wrist and pulls him out of his seat and into the floor with mike following his father as he dragged frank up the stairs.
"no!please dont!!" rank begins to yell at the top of his lungs
as mr way pulled him harder frank hit his head on one of the hand rails and passed out cold.
alright hears another story please rate and reveiw. and now for bed. happy reading :)
notebook entery 1
notebook number 11
todays january 1st. i normally dont keep track of the date. no reason to but with each new series of notebook or journal as the court calls it, its the begining of the year again. so no more intros for my notebook
im sitting in the car headed for another foster home. my social worker is driving and we are both quiet everytime this happens. not to help he looks like an FBI agent. black coat and tie, black pants and even black shades. hes like my body gaurd more than anything... the only one to take me away from the bad places ever since day one. something none of the families im put in is that im a cold blooded killer. i wont deny it. now im 11 but i was 8 at the time. my dad was drunk and so was my mom... nothing good ever comes fron alcoholics and ive always known ever since the begining. i had to defend my sister from those dumb asses and look where it got me. they took her away and now im going from one house to another because of the same reasons. seriously why cant i just kill them all. all parents.
*
as tears come to franks eyes the driver looks over at him, "writting about that day again arent you... is the counciling helping?" he looks away from the small young boy and back to the road.
frank stays quiet a moment looking out the window and twisting the notebook up tight, "No... its not helping. only tells me the problems i have." as he speaks frank combs his hands through his hair, "Are we almost there? im tired."
"try and get some sleep." the social worker states turning off the highway, "i would say thirty more minutes okay?"
frank nods, lean s his head on the window, and closes his eyes even though he knew he couldnt sleep in a car and so did the social worker, "im sorry frank." the social worker appologizes.
frank nods and throws his notebook in the back seat with his things, "Wheres the house this time? not woods again right? that was a fucking nightmare." frank cringes at the thought of his previous family and drifts into a bit of a day dream
*
as the two children run through the forest their breath can be seen as they suck in and out, "come on frankie faster!! hes coming closer!" the smaller but faster girl screams, "leave us alone! we didnt do anything!!"
as they enter a stone covered area every footstep can be heard and then CRUNCH! frank falls onto his side and skids across the rock. grasping his arm is the man hes supposed to call father. his red bloodshot eyes dart from frank to his daughter and back to frank. sam rushes over to frank but he yells at her
"No! he'll get you too! run! get out of here!" frank yells befor the man shoves a sock into franks mouth and drags him back toward the house.
with tears streaming down frank and the girls eyes frank closes his eyes tight.
*
frank feels a hand on his shoulder and jerks away opening his eyes abruptly, "no dont please stop!!" tears come to his eyes but he blinks them away when he sees the social worker.
"frankie, are you okay? you looked scared. was it a nightmare?" the social worker askes facing him in the parked car, "we're here but if youre not ready... we can talk first."
frank hesitates and looks around making sure he was back in the car, "no... ill be fine. i promise. it was only a nightmare thats all... well a memory. ill be sure to write about it later. promise."
frank reaches for the door handle but the social worker takes his hand to stop him causing frank to flinch, "sorry frankie... i want to have your medican upped. i know you dont like it but you shouldnt have to be so on edge all the time. is that okay frankie?"
the social worker lets go of his hand as he nods in responce and opens the door to get his stuff out of the back. as they both walk up the drive frank looks back at the car and at the social worker.
"dont worry. im not going anywhere until dinners over. ive already spoken to the care takers. they have two sons frank. maybe youll get along with one of them or even both." the social worker speaks with a spark in his voice, "try and be possitive i know you can."
frank shrugs, "yeah maybe... i dont want to move again tyler." frnak stares at the welcome mat and waits for a responce.
he knows better than to call the social worker by his first name but whenever he does tyler knows frank must be scared. sometimes frank hid it and other times he let tyler know but this time instead of reassurance tyler simply rang the doorbell.
after a moment of movement and shuffling in the house the front door swung open causing frank to hide behind tyler, "hi there! welcome!" says the woman with sandy brown hair, "This must be frank!" she looks behind tyler to see franks eyes focused on her shoes.
"yes mrs way this is frank iero. hes having a bit of trouble adjusting but i assure you give him some time and he can. he always does. may we come in? is mr way around? i would like to speak with the two of you in private if you dont mind." tyler says looking at the woman and then down at frank, "Frankie why dont you come inside too? you might catch a cold."
frank shakes his head bringing himself out of a deep thought and back to mrs way and tyler, "sorry... yes of course i can."
*
as always like clock work or something tyler and i were lead into the livingroom. i sat on their much too soft couch as tyler and the women walked into the dining room. im not sure what theyre talking about this time but probly my last family and... i dont know im supposed to trust tyler but i swear he tells every family in my life about the horrible things i did and how i never cared.... well thats what they say. no i care... i care more than anyone in this world. i know that for a fact. im just really defencive thats all.
*
as frank settled into the couch writting he failed to notice the much taller but just as skinny boy coming toward the couch. when he finally glanced up he jumped to his feet and moved away into a corner slowly.
the taller boy picked up franks notebook and held it out to him, "you dropped this." he says timidly, "dont you want it?... oh i get it. youre antisocial like my brother arent you? dont like new people and groups of them?"
as mikey spoke frank continued to stare down the notebook in mikeys hand. no one but tyler and the judge ever touched his notebook and if they did he was normally beatten senceless for whatever he had written that day. to mikeys slight surprise frank slowly reached for the notebook but before he could get it mr way appeared from the hall and snatched it from mikey.
"and what is this?" he askes opening to the only page written on, "is this yours boy?"
frank nods, "umm yes sir. thats mine. can i have it back?"
mr way looks between the boys a moment, "no. i think ill hold on to it a while. besides no boy of mine writes in a journal!" mr way yells ripping out the pages.
"that will be enough." says a voice in the door way.
the three of them looked toward the voice and saw tyler standing with mrs way, "honey what do you think youre doing? frankie has to use that. give it back now." without hesitation tyler takes it from mr way and hands it to frank, "i never want to see that again. now boys how about the two of you go downstairs. mikey can introduce you to gerard."
mikey nods and pushes frank out of the room quickly, "hide that okay? my dads not always like this hes just... not himself right now thats all." mikey goes to the door of the basement and opens it, "not afraid of basements are you?"
frank looks down the stairs with wide eyes, "umm actually... i am. do we have to go down there?"
mikey smiles and laughs, "no we dont. you have to meet him at dinner though. he asked that i dont bring you down there anyways and gerards orders are above theirs any day." mikey takes franks hand and leads him up stairs to his bedroom, "this is my room youre welcome anytime unless the doors closed then just knock. your rooms right over there if youd like to put away your things befor dinner.... you dont say much do you?"
frank smiles and nods, "im more of a writter myself but... you talk too much." frank giggles and takes his things over to his room and closes the door.
mikey hesitates to tell him the no doors closed rule but decides to leave that up to mom and dad. instead he goes into his own room and listens to smashing pumpkins.
*
so this place isnt that bad yet. the father seems like as alcoholic and aggressive at that but i can handle it... with my 2 new brothers. this day seems to be one of the longest days ever but im sure ive had longer. all i have left to do today is unpack my things and eat dinner and then what ive been waiting for.. sleep.
so ill write more tomorrow but its lights out for you for today.
*
as frank closes the notebook he hears a knock at the door and sees mrs way enter, "hello frankie. your social worker left. he said he normally says goodbye but there was an emergancy. so youll get to have dinner with us without him tonight. its finished so you can wash up and come down whem youre ready."
she leaves the room making sure the door is wide open as frank follows behind her, "what do you think so far?" asks mikey starttling frank, "sorry. jumpy too i see."
"yeah... its good here i like it." he says in a low voice going into the kitchen.
mrs way goes to the table and sits, "grab a seat boys. gerard and your father should be right up."
mikeys smile quickly washes away when he hears her words, "what does dad think he did this time?" he asks in a whisper and sitting next to frank.
mrs way whipes the hair from her face and looks down at the plate, "you know your father doesnt like you boys cooped up in your rooms all day. you need some air and gerard didnt want to come up."
frank looks between the two worried faces and bows his head too. when they finally hear a door slam frank flinches.
"i dont want to be up here." says a low voice.
there was no answer only a young fifteen year old looking boy stumble into the dinning room, "you are a part of this family and we eat as a family so sit. no going downstairs until elevan tonight." mr ways harsh voice rang through the room as he sat and started serving himself, "go on eat then. you too frank. eat as much at youd like."
frank continues to stare at his plate wanting nothing more than to go back to his own room. mikey looks at hin a moment, takes a serving spoon and pours some pasta on franks plate. he then added sauce and nudged franks shoulder.
"the boy needs to do things for himself. frank learn to be more open youre family here and gerard introduce yourself." mr way demands staring at his oldest son.
gerard glances at frank, "hi.. im gee. i mean gerard." with that said gerard stared at his plate and began to eat.
"yeah we all call him gerard normally... unless we're mad." mikey says quietly.
frank smiles and continues to look at the food on his plate, "can... can i be excused?"
mikey looks at him with a questoning look assuming frank can already read what hed like to say out loud, 'wha the fuck are you thinking?!? we dont waste food in this family he would kill us!!"
mr way glares at him, "no frank you may not leave the table until your plate is clean."
looking at the meat in the sauce frank sits up slightly, "but i dont eat meat."
"you will eat what my wife cooks or you wont eat at all!!" mr way snaps standing and going to franks spot at the table, "come here boy! youre staying in your fucking room!! be happy you have a room frank iero because that could end today!!" the father grabs him by the wrist and pulls him out of his seat and into the floor with mike following his father as he dragged frank up the stairs.
"no!please dont!!" rank begins to yell at the top of his lungs
as mr way pulled him harder frank hit his head on one of the hand rails and passed out cold.
alright hears another story please rate and reveiw. and now for bed. happy reading :)
Sign up to rate and review this story