FicWad

Gerard’s POV



I bet I looked like an idiot right then, but I didn’t care. I sat there on a swing set in a little park; it was some place in New York, where we’d been searching. Over the past few months my life started to mean less and less to me, my hope and faith that were once sizzling and fuelled with protectiveness and love had started to dry up and guilt began washing over me and pulling me under. I was beginning to not even care if I drowned in the undertow of it all.



The swings creaked as the moved slowly back and forth, to anybody else it would have been creepy because it was the middle of the night and there was a church with a graveyard next to it just over the street, but to me the atmosphere was slightly comforting. The other guys had gone to get coffee or something and the park had seemed inviting to me really, as fit had been placed there for me to mope and wallow in grief.



I looked down at my sneakers; the toes had holes in them… I needed a new pair.

I wondered briefly if I was the only one in the world with this problem, I certainly wasn’t the only one searching for who they loved, I guess for me the circumstances were different, not by much though.



“You know parks are for children right?” A sweet voice yanked me off my train of thought and I looked up quickly. A girl sat on the little roundabout; she had to be about fifteen. She was small and slim, with fiery red hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and a cheeky gleam in her eyes.



“You probably shouldn’t be out here alone, ghost stories might be real you know,” She sat upside down rather suddenly. I felt myself getting more and more curious as to what a girl so young was do out so late and all alone.



“I could say the same to you,” I croaked, my voice was weak from lack of use, I was amazed I even managed to say that short sentence without wheezing. Suddenly the girl was beside me on the other swing.



“You’re searching for something,” She cocked her head and squinted at me, as if she was trying to stare into my brain or something, “What is it?”



“Um…” I thought for a moment, I didn’t really want to explain, “Love.”



She chuckled and shook her head, “You already found that, I can see it in your eyes, you’ve lost your love, haven’t you? Through no fault of your own the world has gone pear-shaped.”



I narrowed my eyes, that was a little suspicious, who was this girl?



“May I have the pleasure of knowing who you are exactly?” I inquired.



“Yes, no, maybe. I am everywhere and nowhere, I am anything, everything, something and nothing and most of all… Luke I am your Father!” She giggled- it was a high pitched noise of absolutely insane glee. I was too stunned to know what to say… up until the Star Wars quote I had understood what she was describing…



“Anyway,” The girl’s tone returned to seriousness once again, “You should keep looking because eventually, if you look hard enough, things always show up. You cannot let life beat you, nor fate. Playing fate, yeah playing fate’s what it’s called. Play fate my dear friend, play fate and you’ll get what you need.”



“I don’t understand,” I sighed.



“I know, I wish I understood,” She said a little wistfully. Now I really was confused.



“Right… you’ve lost me.”

“No, you’ve lost your love.”



“I don’t get it.”



“Yes you do, you’re just refusing to understand, what you love the most will guide it’s way to itself and lead you there also.”



“...Okay?”



“But you’ll have to search in the places you wouldn’t expect to, sometimes people are too blind to look where they should and only look where’s safest in their minds.”



“Sure…”



“Now I’m off! Hop, skip, jump! Good luck with love and life and play fate. Remember that, always play the fate. Tally ho!” and with those few wise words the girl disappeared off out of the park and into the night.



I sat there for a little while longer, I just let my feet trail across the concrete slowly. I had a new light shining on my life now, a new perspective. With that thought a song popped into my head, New Perspective by Panic! At the Disco.



I feel the salty waves come in

I feel them crash against my skin

And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win

There's a haze above my TV

That changes everything I see

And maybe if I continue watching

I'll lose the traits that worry me



Hmm, in a sense it was like the loss of Frank was the water hitting me and the haze was something I needed to keep looking in because if I did I’d find him and my worries would be gone. It all connected in my head, music always helped me, maybe that was the key this time.



Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?



Stop there and let me correct it

I wanna live a life from a new perspective

You come along because I love your face

And I'll admire your expensive taste

And who cares divine intervention

I wanna be praised from a new perspective

But leaving now would be a good idea

So catch me up on getting out of here



Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?



Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time

We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine

And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines

But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside



Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?



Stop there and let me correct it

I wanna live a life from a new perspective

You come along because I love your face

and I'll admire your expensive taste

And who cares divine intervention

I wanna be praised from a new perspective

But leaving now would be a good idea

So catch me up on getting out of here



More to the point, I need to show

How much I can come and go

Other plans fell through

And put a heavy load on you

I know there's no more that need be said

When I'm inching through your bed

Take a look around instead and watch me go



Stop there and let me correct it

I wanna live a life from a new perspective

You come along because I love your face

and I'll admire your expensive taste

And who cares divine intervention

I wanna be praised from a new perspective

But leaving now would be a good idea

So catch me up on getting out of here



It's not fair, just let me perfect it

Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive

'cause seeing clear would be a bad idea

Now catch me up on getting out of here

So catch me up I'm getting out of here



Can we fast-forward till you go down on me?

Can we fast-forward till you go down?



I got up and knocked the swing back, then I was running in the direction the girl had gone because a path is always shone on the way that the right people lead. I knew I was going to find Frank soon, I just knew it.