FicWad

Pete stepped out into the waiting room and found Patrick sitting between Andy and Joe, who were both still fast asleep, sipping a cup of coffee.
"She's awake!" he cried, and he went over to Andy and shook him hard.
Patrick choked on the hot coffee and smiled.
"Can I see her?"
"Yep." Peter replied, shaking Joe.
Patrick set the coffee down on the cheap wooden coffee table and rushed down the hall. Nurses scowled at him as he passed, but he didn't care, she was awake! He turned the handle of the door and stepped in. Waves of shock and sadness crashed over him, though. When Pete had said "Awake", Patrick had automatically pictured her sitting up and smiling. But she lay still, staring at the ceiling.
"Dev..." he said softly, sitting at her bedside.
She looked up and smiled.
"Patrick." She whispered.
"How do you feel, Love?"
"Stupid."
He gently stroked her cheek, smiling reassuringly, even though he himself felt sick to see her like this.
"You're not stupid. You just did a stupid thing."
"I'll say. I didn't even think...I just grabbed your razor and left the blood for you guys to clean up."
Patrick froze, looking at her in horror.
"You...used my razor?" he whispered.
"Yeah...you didn't notice?"
"I was preoccupied when Pete found you," He answered, turning away.
"Pete found me?"
"Yeah. Then he screamed for us...Andy called 911." Tears stung Patrick's eyes. Be strong, he thought.
"Oh." She muttered softly.
"God, I was so stupid, I should have gotten rid of the razor when you came to stay with me..." he whispered, his head in his hands.
"No, Patrick, it's my fault-"
"No, I should have known!" Patrick cried, "Then we wouldn't be in this mess..."
Devin didn't reply, she just stared at the ceiling.
"Maybe you should go," She whispered, fighting back tears, "I want to see Andy."
Patrick gently kissed her cheek, but she didn't respond. He sighed and walked out the door.

In the waiting room, Pete filled Andy and Joe in on his conversation with Devin. When he finished, the two sat in a stunned silence.
"So...she wasn't just trying to hurt herself...she was trying to kill herself?" whispered Joe.
Pete nodded and hung his head.
"Wow, I just thought she went over board this time." Andy said, running his hand through his long hair.
"Guys, just don't tell Patrick right yet. He needs some time to pull himself together."
The other two nodded. Patrick came out into the waiting room several minutes later.
"She wants to see Andy." He said, not looking at any of them.
Andy stood up and went to Devin's room. She was staring at the door expectantly, and she smiled when he came in, but a weak, joyless smile.
"Hey, Dev." He said softly, sitting down next to her.
"Patrick thinks this is his fault." She replied immediately.
Andy sighed.
"I figured he'd blame himself."
"I told him to leave."
"Not a smart move, Dev."
"I know..."
They were quiet for a moment, and then Devin spoke softly.
"I take it Peter told you about our conversation."
Andy nodded and placed his hand on her arm softly.
"Yeah, he did. You should have told us, Devin."
"I know...but I didn't know how. Was I just supposed to come right out and say 'Guys, I'm thinking of killing myself'?"
"Yes." Andy replied bluntly.
Devin smiled faintly.
"You don't know how hard something like that is to say to your best friends."
"No, I don't."
Devin laughed for the first time since she woke up.
"You're so blunt sometimes, Andy."
"Well, if it makes you laugh, then I'll continue." He smiled.
They smiled at each other for a moment.
"You know, I should press charges against Kevon."
"That's the spirit!"
Devin frowned and gave Andy a funny look.
"Oh, sorry, I got a little too excited." He said sheepishly.
Devin laughed again.
"But now, do you realize you made a mistake?"
Devin's face went serious again.
"Yes. More than you know."

Patrick sat down in his chair, trembling slightly. Pete looked up from his magazine and raised an eyebrow.
"You ok, man?"
Patrick shook his head and lowered it into his hands.
Pete set the magazine down and him and Joe inched their chairs closer.
"She used my razor." Patrick whispered.
"Yeah, I know," answered Pete, "The blade was still in her hand when I found her...I cut my finger on it, see?" Pete held up his thumb, revealing a small cut.
"I should have hid it when she came to stay with me." Patrick answered, unfazed by the cut.
"It's not your fault, dude, you couldn't have known." Joe said.
Patrick lifted his head and sat straight up, staring out the window.
"Why did she do it?"
Pete and Joe exchanged glances. Patrick was taking this very hard, and they didn't want him to worry further.
"Just tell me, guys." He snapped.
"Well...when I was in the kitchen, Kevon called her cell phone. He said he was gonna find her...and...slit your throat." Pete said, his voice barely audible.
Patrick went pale and absently massaged his throat.
"This is all his fault!" Patrick cried, and then he turned to Pete, "Why did she...cut herself so much, though?"
Pete sighed.
"She was trying to kill herself."
Patrick choked back a sob and brought his knees up to his chest, resting his head on them.
"Oh my God."
The three sat in silence for several long minutes.
"What did the doctor say about her?" Patrick finally asked.
"That she should be fine...they just have to watch her closely for a few more days."
Patrick nodded.
"She's gonna be ok, Pat, you need to get over it." Joe said gently.
Patrick nodded again.
"We should all go home tonight, and we can come see her again tomorrow, ok?" Pete told him.
"I can't go home alone," Patrick whispered, "Her blood is all over my bathroom floor."
Joe turned his head away.
"Oh, God, I didn't even think of that." He muttered.
"Patrick, I'll go home with you, ok? We'll clean it together." Pete said firmly.

Joe sat by Devin's bedside. They were silent a moment, then Devin spoke;
"What did Patrick do when he saw me?"
"Well, he went all pale, we all did. Then he slumped against the wall, and he slid down. I was trying not to panic, but I knew I had to get him up, he almost passed out. When I lifted him, he was crying. I dragged him over to the couch...yeah."
Devin stared at the ceiling absently.
"He cried?"
"Devin, he really cares about you. I'm not saying Pete, Andy and I don't, it's just it's a whole other story with Patrick. You really shook all of us up...Pete had to find you. He was shaking when he called us, trying to stay calm. I didn't know what to do; I just panicked. Andy couldn't stand to look at you, he called 911 and waited for the paramedics. Patrick just broke down, afraid he'd lose you."
Devin looked away.
"Send Pete in."
Joe sighed and left. Devin stared out the window, wondering what she had done. She had scared her friends to death, and scarred herself for life. She almost died...why didn't she think?
"Dev?" Pete's voice came from the doorway. He came and sat down in the chair next to her bed.
"You found me?" she whispered.
"Yeah."
"I'm so sorry, Peter." She whimpered, using his full name and beginning to cry.
"Dev, it's better that I found you than Patrick. He nearly passed out at the sight of you."
They were quiet for a long time, the only sound being Devin's silent sobs.
"Are you guys going to go home?"
"Yes. I'm going to go with Patrick, he can't be alone. We're going to...clean the bathroom..."
Devin nodded. It made her sick to think her friends had to clean that up.
"Don't make Patrick do it, please." She pleaded.
"Devin, it makes me just as sick."
She sighed and nodded.
"I've gotta go now, Devin."
Pete stroked her hair with a faint smile and left.