Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Profile Of A Ficwadian ~AlteredStateOfMind

by AlteredStateOfMind 1 review

Boredom is such a drag.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2012-06-21 - Updated: 2012-06-21 - 1217 words

Okay, before I start, I think I should let you guys know that I'm gonna be pretty vague when it comes to info about me. I love Ficwad and writing fan fiction, but no one knows I do this. Like, no friends, family, acquaintances, not even my cat knows. She just can't be trusted. I don't think writing fan fiction is something you should be ashamed of or anything, but I know for a fact very little of the people I know would approve and I don't know, I kinda like the idea of being an anonymous writer. Plus, I'm the lead singer in a band I plan on pursuing as my career in the future if everything works out (fingers crossed) and I don't want anything I post on the internet to come back and haunt me some day. Alright, enough of my rant ~

Real Name: Not saying, sowey.

Username: AlteredStateOfMind (idk either, don't ask)

Gender: Girls, girls, girls (Motley Crüe, anyone? No? Okay.)

Country: United States

City: Miami

Religion: Catholic

Relationship status: Single…sort of. Ex drama bites.

Picture of yourself: Sorry :x

Favourite musicians/bands: deep intake of breath My Chemical Romance (no shit), The Used, Escape The Fate, Green Day, Aerosmith, Mayday Parade, Motley Crüe, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Sleeping With Sirens, Fall Out Boy, Nirvana, Panic! At The Disco, Slipknot, Van Halen, Breathe Carolina, Alesana, All That Remains, Asking Alexandria, A Day To Remember, Falling In Reverse, Nickelback (don't kill me), Senses Fail, Trivium, We The Kings, (I could go on forever, seriously.)

Favourite movies: All the Pirates of The Caribbean movies and basically anything Johnny Depp has ever starred in (Sweeney Todd, Edward Scissorhands, From Hell, Public Enemies, Finding Neverland, etc. That man is brilliant.) The Avengers, The Dark Knight, basically any superhero movie.

Favourite TV shows: Don't really watch much television, but: 21 Jump Street (more Johnny Depp, ftw.), South Park, The Secret Life of the American Teenager (I know, leave me alone), Tosh.0, Doctor Who.

Favourite Books: Oh jeez, I read a lot but I'm drawing a blank here. All the House Of Night books, anything written by Edgar Allan Poe, any Shakespeare (I'm a huge theater geek), anything by Ellen Hopkins (ugh, so good), The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod series, can't think of anything else off the top of my head.

Heroes: Gerard Way, my grandmother (I'm so sappy), Johnny Depp, Bryan Stars (if you don't know who he is, look 'em up on YouTube. Seriously the best interviews ever and he's such a sweet heart)

Bandoms you write for: My Chem mostly, but I dab in The Used and Panic!

Pairings you ship: Anything that's written well and is interesting enough, really. But, Frerard's my favorite.

In your opinion, what is the best story on Ficwad you feel you've ever written? Hm…well, "I Think I'll Blow My Brains Against The Ceiling" ( isn't finished yet, but that's my favorite story to work on. One shot? Probably "Another Nameless Face Back At My Place" (

Your favourite authors on here: Oh shit, I know I'm gonna forget people and hate myself for it later, but here we go: unitedsuck007, monstrice901, CosmicZombie, theescapist99, DisenchantedDestroya, gah I suck at remembering names. I love most of you, let's just leave it at that.

Your favourite fics on here: First Of The Gang To Die (probably my favorite fic ever), Trying To Escape The Inevitable, Perfectly Imperfect, so many others, but again, memory is shit.

Ficwad authors you think have cool personalities: I honestly don't know, but mychemicalbitchbot and bvbrocks were some of the first people to review on my work and have always been really nice :3 I don't really talk to anyone on here :( maybe I should start? email me if you're bored:

Recording of yourself reading part of a fic: Again, sorry.

Sample of your writing:

Thank fuck I was smart enough to keep this in my pocket, I think to myself as I step inside the small bathroom and lock the door behind me. I immediately bring out a napkin from my pocket that has a few white pills hidden securely inside. I grab two before wrapping the napkin up again and putting the remaining pills into my pocket. I look up and catch sight of myself in the mirror. My eyes have dark, purple bags underneath them caused by the lack of sleep I got last night. I press a finger over one puffy bag and lean into the mirror, getting a closer look at my eyes.

The pupils are no longer dilated like they had constantly been for the past few weeks and the familiar haze that's always clouding them has almost entirely cleared up. I realize that this is the first time I've been completely sober for who knows how long. You'd think I'd be suffering from the withdrawal by now but speaking to Frank had completely distracted my mind from all things self destructive. But once a lapse in the conversation was caused by the slutty flight attendant, I was hit with the pain and the yearning like a pile of bricks. My head was throbbing painfully and I was beginning to feel nauseous. I couldn't take the temptation to escape to the bathroom and indulge in the pretty white pills in my pocket that were practically calling my name any longer. Plus, I didn't want to become ill in front of Frank and have him worry.

I only wish I'd saved some of the beer to wash these down with. Maybe I can get some more once I'm out of here. The blonde was practically throwing herself at me so I'm sure she'd be more than happy to get me another one. I don't understand why she was acting that way towards me though. I'm just an ugly, black haired, too pale, vampire look a like freak. Why would any female or male for that matter even look at me twice? I've always thought of myself that way, even though I have dated people in the past. Well, drunken hook ups may be a more appropriate title for most of them. Besides, Frank was right next to me. How could the attendant ignore his breath taking beauty and focus on me?

My mind wanders to other negative opinions about myself until I drop my gaze to the pills that are still in my hand. I pop both of them into my mouth at once and swallow them dry. I know two pills won't get me that high, but I don't want to be completely gone. Not right now anyway, when I have Frank beside me. I close my eyes for a few minutes and wait for the pills to take effect. Before I know it the headache fades and I begin to feel hazy. The harsh, sharp edges of reality fade and smooth until I'm at peace again within a familiar dreamy state. I smile to myself, content to be in my comfort zone again.

These pills are no longer a means of escaping my depression, they have become a part of who I am. Without them, I'm nothing.

(This is from "I Think I'll Blow My Brains Against The Ceiling")
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