FicWad

Part 1
Waiting for the tour bus was the most irritating hour of my life.
It was already 10 minutes late and how the boys could be so laid back about the next 14 weeks was beyond me! Everything was stressing me out. Had I packed everything? Was my guitar tuned? What where the support band like?
The tour was very last minute for us. We hardly had a say in where we were going. The boys didn’t seem to mind much, they were exited. But I was not happy about finding out about the tour two weeks before it began! I hadn’t even had a chance to check out the support act. I couldn’t remember the name of them at the time. Some comedy band. I hadn’t even met them yet and they already disinterested me. I probably shouldn’t have been so ignorant towards them; they were supporting us after all. However, at the time I couldn’t care less. All I cared for was how prepared we were and ensuring that everything went perfect for us. I wasn’t about to have some immature, dick faced, ‘comedy’ band ruin it for me!
I had been pacing outside my house for about 20 minutes before the tour bus finally turned up. I wasted no time in packing everything into the large compartment of the bus and leaping straight inside to check it out. It was nice. Very shiny. Not very spacious but still liveable. I could get use to this. But before exploring the rest of the bus, I realised that I hadn’t said goodbye to my family and friends that had been so nice as to wait for the vehicle that was about to whisk me away for 14 weeks.
“Have a wonderful time, pumpkin. I love you and I’m so proud of you”
“Thanks mum, I love you too” I replied as I watched my mum’s eyes fill with tears after releasing me from her long enduring hug. I hugged my friends and gave my brother a swift high five before the bus driver, Terry, called ‘The Sonic Hero’s’ to the bus. I stepped onto the bus before hearing my mum shout, “Be nice to the other three lads”. I smiled awkwardly and turned to enter the bus. Other three? What the hell was she on about? And then I realised, the support act.
I hadn’t paid enough attention to the support act to realise that not only was they boys, but they would be joining us on the bus for the entire tour. 14 weeks with 6 boys. This was going to be eventful.
The Sonic Hero’s was the band me and my three other friends, Dylan, Jordan and Mike, created when we were 16 years old. Two and a half years on and we were 18, almost 19, on a sold out tour with a fan base of around 3,000,000 male and females worldwide. We were living the dream, but it didn’t come without hard work and dedication so stress and arguments within the band was not a rarity. The guys had always been my best friends, though. That would never change. Nothing could split us up, ever.
The bus looked very fresh. It was bright and although it was cramped it still felt very homely. I was very comfortable just kicking back and playing on the Xbox that Mike had brought along to put in the sofa area. The cabin beds were also surprisingly spacious. When filming our tour video I found Mike and Dylan asleep in the same cabin bed, with room for Jordan to pounce on the two of them, jokingly. We were on the bus for hours before I finally asked Terry about our journey. He told me we were travelling to London to pick up the support act.
The Midnight Beast.
Part 2
If the bus picking us up late hadn’t pissed me off enough, we had to travel hours from Nottingham to pick up the support act. Although their music disinterested me, even though I hadn’t checked it out, they still bothered me. The fact that they were going to be there was just unbearably annoying. I bet they were going to act all snobby and pretend like they were something special. I groaned at the thought of them. “What’s up with you?” Jordan asked. I was quite comfortable sat on my spot on the sofa so turning to talk to Jordan aggravated me even more. I jumped up violently and began my 4 minuet rant; “… I just don’t understand why we weren’t allowed to pick our own support act!” I finished sitting down exhaling loudly in relief. “Wow…” Jordan whispered trying not to piss me off even more. I glared at him before being launched onto the floor from the tour bus coming to a sudden halt.
We had arrived in London 45 minutes late. Despite the long drive, I was glad that we were late. I was still unsure as to why I was becoming so bitter toward these young men. There was no way I was jealous, I mean, I had never even listen to their music. Maybe I didn’t want my boys to like them more than me. They sounded like jokers, being in a comedy band and all. I knew my boys would like that. I didn’t want to lose them.
I quickly got distracted from my thought by the stomach turning noises of the lower cabin being packed with equipment and the muffled laughs and giggles of The Midnight Beast. I made myself comfortable on the sofa placed at the back of the bus, positioning myself so that I would be able to observe the whole bus and watch as the already bothersome trio joined us on the 14 week tour.
I listened as Jordan, Dylan and Mike went outside to greet the other three. I heard endless amounts of giggling and I could just make out the cringe worthy London accents over the rumble of the engine starting. Jordan and other two entered the bus grinning and chuckling like little school girls. I rolled my eyes as they all joined me at the back of bus. “Aha, they are awesome. This is going to be so much fun!” Dylan exclaimed with excitement. “I know right. This is going to be the best. Especially with them three dudes!” Mike replied, also filled with excitement. My rage was at its peak. I was contemplating going to bed, but before I could the other three headaches entered the bus.
The first one that got on was a tall man. Not particularly slender. He looked older than the other two, mainly to do with his beard. He was odd looking. Looked friendly enough but the fact that he was wearing a cap made him look childish, especially considering the stupid hair style he had acquired. The second frustrated me the most, purely through his looks. He was small and skinny with a huge mop head that made him look ridiculous. Not only this but he also had a cap placed on top of his scruffy hair, giving me the impression that he was a typical hipster. Stereotypes were not usually my thing, but with the stress of the tour combined with this idiotic group just put me in the worst of moods. Finally, the third member got on. I wasn’t sure what happened but after seeing him, my mind took a flip. He didn’t look like the other two. He was dressed in skinny jeans and leather jacket. He looked like a bad boy. I liked boy boys. I quickly snapped back to reality, realising that he was probably just as worse as the other two, with his Vans top and sunglasses. I disliked all three of them. I only took a glance at the three before looking back down to read my magazine, slamming it shut when I realised there was an article on The Midnight Beast.
“Everything alright?!” The one with the afro said, looking over at me whilst he shoved him bag untidily onto his cabin bed. “Urrm, yeah.” I said rolling my eyes subtlety. “Ah, okay. I’m Stefan by the way” He said holding his hand out for me to shake. I looked up at him with raised eyebrows. “Right” I said as I watched him retract his hand back to his side. “This is Dru” Stefan said pointing out the eldest one, “And that’s Ashley” He said with a smile, “He’s the photogenic one” He whispered leaning down towards me. “Or so he thinks” giggled Dru following an orgy of giggles from Dylan, Mike and the rest. I raised my eyebrows and quickly glanced over at Ashley who was smirking at Dru. “How about you then?!” Stefan said relaxing his voice from laughing. “What about me?” I frowned. “Your name. What’s your name?!” Stefan said eagerly. “Olive. My name is Olive” I frowned again.
Stefan didn’t seem fazed by how rude I was being. Nobody did really. Later on that night when we had set off and everyone had settled in, we all sat on the sofas. Dylan, Dru and Mike were playing on the Xbox, Jordan was near asleep and had his iPod on, which left me with Stefan and Ashley, who in all fairness seemed pretty fixated on the lads playing Fifa.
I took a page out of Jordan’s book and stuck my iPod on and fell fast asleep. It had been a tiring day so I wasn’t surprised that I nodded off so fast. I felt like I was asleep for 5 minutes before I was being nudged to wake up. It took my eyes a while to adjust to the sunlight blazing through the cracks in the sofa area curtains, but when I did I was finally able to see that Ashley was standing above me with a little smile creeping across his face as I woke up. He handed me a cup of tea and sat next to me smiling.

“Good morning, sleepy”

I took a sip of my tea to hide my uncontrollable smile.

Part 3
I watched Ashley from above my cup. I thought about how mean I had been about his band. Despite not being fully fond of The Midnight Beast just yet, I could feel myself warming to the idea of them. I shuffled my legs onto the sofa and rested my head on my knees looking at Ashley’s body as the only thing he had on was some jogging bottoms.
“You fell asleep quick last night” Ashley said looking at me in a disappointed but jokey way. I cleared my throat, “Um, yeah. I was tired”. “You don’t like us very much do you?” “What? No, I just-“, I tried to argue. “It’s fine. Don’t you think you should get to know us first though?” Ashley looked at me with sadness in his eyes and raised eyebrows which were inadvertently the most extravagant eyebrows I had ever seen on a human being. I knew he was right so I nodded in an apologetic fashion. He smiled; “Good” drinking the last of his tea and taking both cups back to the kitchen area which consisted of a sink, a mini fridge, a kettle and a cupboard or two.
I opened all the curtains in the sofa area. Having the sun beaming down on my face through the window was incredibly relaxing. Like all my stress was being drained from my body. I just sat there; face pressed against the window allowing the sun to stroke my face. The warmth made me sleepy and I began to drift off, but before I could fall asleep I heard a slight giggle from behind me. I turned to find Ashley stood with his hand over his mouth, chuckling. I stood quickly and my face turned red with embarrassment. “Aha, you’re an odd one aren’t you?” Ashley grinned. I sat and wallowed in my own shame. “Are you excited for today then?” Ashley said breaking the tension. “Today? Wha-Oh my god. The opening gig!” I had completely forgotten. I rushed to my cabin bed and grabbed all of my things, rushing to the toilet just to find it was locked. I hit the door as hard as I could, “Whoevers in there had better hurry up!” I could hear Stefan’s muffled laugh on the other side of the door. “Alright, Olive?” He said as he opened the door with a giant grin. I shoved passed him, slammed the door, locked it and began getting ready.
After several hours of deciding what clothes to wear, make up, hair, shoes, teeth, perfume and much more, I was ready. I had decided my black skinny jeans with my white converse and a Nirvana tee that my mum brought me. It kept me from feeling homesick. I walked out to find that the bus has stopped; I had been so busy getting ready that I hadn’t noticed Dylan, Mike, Jordan and Dru wake up, have breakfast and make a toilet stop. I had to giggle that I had held up the bathroom for nearly 2 hours. I made my way to my bed, threw my stuff down and went to get comfy on the sofa’s, feeling comfortable that I was ready for the day.
I sat down and saw that we were in a gas station. I could see Ashley leaning up against the side of the bus outside. The sun on his face. I smiled to myself then realising he was on the phone, smiling and laughing. Girlfriend. I thought to myself whilst rolling my eyes and sitting back onto the sofa. Oh well. Boys weren’t a major issue right now. I had my priority’s straight and my band needed me right now. That’s the most important thing. Then again, if that was true why was it that I couldn’t stop myself from constantly looking out the window at Ashley.
I figured that I was being silly and if he had a girlfriend I had to be respectful towards that, despite daydreaming about what a good shag he would be, I decided to keep the flirting to a minimum. I sat back and texted a few people to distract myself from Ashley who ironically came back in as soon as I started to write out a text to my mum. I put my phone down right away and smiled at his return. He continued to look at his phone before sitting at the opposite sofa and finally looking up to acknowledge my presents, to which he widened his eyes and let his mouth drop slightly just staring at me. “What?” I said worryingly, frantically rubbing my face just in case I had something on it. “No, nothing. You just… “He paused for a second continuing to look at me. “What, Ashley? What?” “You look beautiful” He said with a smile. I forced a smile back and then awkwardly trudged back to the bathroom to make sure he wasn’t taking the piss. I looked in the mirror and from what I could see I didn’t have anything alien like on my face, my clothes were clean and my hair was neat as I could have got it. I was kind of surprised at Ashley. I hadn’t known him long and he was already complimenting me like that.
I walked out of the bathroom to find Jordan and Dru stood outside. “Well don’t you look pretty!” exclaimed Dru. “Yeah Olive. You look awesome!” Jordan added. Jordan’s reaction was how I imagined all the boys would react. I spent a while sorting myself out for the opening gig so I didn’t want no compliments at all. But beautiful and pretty were words that I was rarely greeted with.
Before I knew it, we were on the road again. I had managed to push Ashley to the back of my mind and concentrate on the gig. The first gig was in Cardiff. I was becoming more and more exited and the more we waited around in the bus, the more I just wanted to get out and play! The two bands kind of segregated when we got the 5 minuet arrival warning. Ashley, Stefan and Dru stood at the front of the bus, prep talking maybe? Whilst me and the boys stayed on the sofas warming up. There were people already queuing to get into the venue when we got there, 2 hours before the gig. There were also security guards and equipment assistants ready for our arrival. Literally, as soon as the bus stopped people were carrying our equipment in and setting up. The guards got us all in without any hassle and after that it was just about preparing to get on stage.
But then the nerves hit in.

“I don’t know if I can do this guys” Stefan said with worry in his eyes.

Part 4
“You have got to be kidding me?” I said under my breath turning to Jordan who was standing with his drum sticks, unsure as what input he could involve in the situation. “I fucking told you they’d mess this up!” Jordan awkwardly slanted his mouth at my response and sat down. Stefan was getting a pep talk from Ashley, Dru and Mike. They all looked very sympathetic towards him. I didn’t understand why. He had time to prepare. I wasn’t having this. Not on my tour. No way. I stood and rapidly charged towards Stefan grabbing him by the arm taking him away from everyone and into the hallway, throwing him against the wall. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Don’t you dare fuck this up for me and my band. I didn’t want you on this tour in the first place. I knew you’d mess up but not this soon. Jesus, Stef! Pull yourself together because either way you are getting on the stage and-“, But before I could continue Stefan grabbed me by the shoulders, pulled me towards him and pressed his lips against mine. It was a forceful kiss so I didn’t really have much say in the matter but eventually I found myself relaxing into it. It was shocking and I wasn’t attracted to Stefan but for some reason it felt right. He pulled his face away from mine smiling as he did so, leaving me with my jaw on the fall. “That’s better” Stefan grinned and walked back into the back stage room which left me stood staring at the wall speechless.
I must have been standing in the same statue like position for a good couple of minutes before someone noticed I hadn’t returned. I felt a warm hand slide onto my upper back and grasp my shoulder. I jumped and turned quickly to find Ashley’s beautiful face staring down at me, looking pleased. “I don’t know what you said to him but Stef is fine now. He gets sort’a nervous before shows and he really wanted everything to be perfect for you guys” Ashley seemed really grateful which put me on the biggest guilt trip for disliking them previously. I didn’t know what to say. Did I tell him what Stef did? What we did. I just smiled up at Ashley before looking at the floor in guilt. Ashley then lead down, tucking his hands underneath my armpits and around my body holding me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck settle into his shoulder and inhaling though my nose letting myself go even more though the intoxicating aroma that Ashley gave off. He wasn’t wearing aftershave or anything like that, and he still smelt amazing. “Thank you. Thank you so much” Ashley whispered sounding more grateful than ever.
I couldn’t contain myself. My heart was pounding. I had a pit in my stomach. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to kiss me. He released his grip on my body and lent back, still holding onto my waist. I had my hands on his shoulders. This was it. He began to move towards my face, leaning his head slightly to ensure our lips locked perfectly. It was so perfect. It was – “Midnight Beast you’re on!” shouted a voice from the other end of the hallway. Ashley pulled away. No! He looked down at me and smiled, “Wish me luck!” and that was it. He was gone shortly followed by Stef and Dru. “Good luck” I whispered under my breath in disappointment.
I dragged myself back into the backstage room and sat down. I could hear the subdue beats of the music coming from the main stage. I wanted to go see what they were like so bad, but at the same time, I knew I had to detach myself before I got hurt. However, irony is a bitch. “Hey, let’s go check them out” said Dylan walking towards the hallway to make his way to the side of the stage. Jordan and Mike followed with giant smirks on their faces. The temptation was too much so I made the short trip to the hallway, round the corner and through the doors to the side of the stage. The four of us stood behind a wall so we were out of sight of any crazy fans. Seeing them on stage made me warm to them even more. These three boys who I had previously referred to as fuck ups were slowly but surely becoming my boys. Admittedly, their songs were making me giggle, but I tried to hide it from Jordan so as not to have proven myself wrong about The Midnight Beast.
We stayed for a couple of songs including one called “Booty Call” and a song comical towards Stef and Ashley’s friendship, “Friends For Never”. They were clever lyrics. Very funny. Jordan, Dylan and Mike went back towards the end of the set to tune up but I wanted to stay. I couldn’t stop looking at the stage. My eyes were fixated at the endless amounts of colours and flamboyant dance moves. The crowed were going crazy for them. Girls were taking off their bras and throwing them on stage. The boys seemed to worship them. It was inevitable considering the content of their songs, but it was still mesmerising to watch my audience go mental over a band that I hadn’t even considered listening too. This just impressed me even more.
When the boys exited the stage Stefan caught me from the corner of his eye and gave me a wink. I pretended that I hadn’t seen it and met the boys in the corridor that already contained several unwanted memories. Ashley ran towards me, ecstatic and exited, he lifted me off the ground twirling a couple of times and giggling, squeezing me tight. He lowered me back to earth and amplified his massive grin in front of my face gripping onto my shoulders and laughing through his teeth. I couldn’t help but giggle back. We looked like right idiots, but it didn’t matter because we were happy. I was happy.
“It was amazing, Ash! Well done.” I said with a smile. “You watched us?” He said in shock. I nodded. “That’s brilliant! Thank you so much. I’m so happy” Ashley got exited again and hugged me tighter than ever. “Your turn now then” Ash said with a wink. I was nervous, however seeing my band members so relaxed made me feel much better as they walked out and towards the stage. Mike gave me a nod. An indication to follow them. Ashley pushed me towards them, “I’ll be waiting for you to get back, okay?” He grinned. I exclaimed a huge grin at him and ran off down the hallway to perform for 2,000 crazed fans.



Part 5
I grabbed my guitar and stood at the side of the stage ready to go on. Jordan went on first, positioning himself at his drum kit and playing the intro to which Mike joined on stage him giving the audience a quick wave before joining Jordan in the jam. I could hear the cheers and screams of all the people stood in the audience. It was over whelming. Dylan looked at me, giving me a tap on the shoulder. I took a deep breath before following Dylan onto the stage. We ran to our positions and I took a moment to embrace the sound of the audience. It was difficult to see how many people where actually stood in front of us due to the lights but the mind blowing sound being amplified before me was enough to ensure we were loved.
“Give it up for The Midnight Beast!” I said in my stage voice, also known as shouting. The crowd went wild. I was almost offended that my audience reacted so positively to our support act. “Awesome” I said getting ready to play. “So, we’re The Sonic Hero’s. Enjoy!” I smirked at the audience before slamming my arm up and down on my guitar ejecting chord after chord and splurging out lyrics into the microphone placed in front of me. The lights would often make the audience glow to which I could see dancing and singing, clapping and jumping. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ashley stood beside the stage, I couldn’t help but smile. Surprisingly I wasn’t distracted. I actually began to play better than ever.
It was safe to say that the opening show was a pretty good success. However, it played on my mind for hours after the gig whether our fans had been applauding for us, The Sonic Hero’s, or them, The Midnight Beast. I shrugged it off enabling myself to have a good post show celebration with everyone; annoyingly, it still stayed at the back of my mind.
The after party was held at a V.I.P club in Cardiff’s City Centre, so it was quite a public event that allowed certain fans to join us in celebrating the opening gig. I sat at the bar as I watched Dru, Stefan and Ashley taking picture after picture with fans, hugging them and signing CD’s. I had no idea how popular these guys actually were. I turned away, sipping at my vodka and coke, pretty out of it by this point. Ashley soon joined me; “You were amazing tonight, you know?” He said leaning on the bar. “Thank you” I smiled, “As were you.” Ashley nodded in thanks. “I didn’t realise how much attention you guys got from fans” I said raising my eyebrows and downing the last of my drink. “Yeah. The fans are great, man. They mean so much to the band and it’s kinda sad because some of them don’t think they are important to us, when really, they all are. It nice to let them know that, you get me?” I stared at Ashley for a moment wanting to hate him so much for proving me wrong about them but instead I swallowed my pride; “You guys deserve so much. You are genuinely the most incredible friends” I meant what I said. They were incredible and they did deserve so much and more. Ashley’s eyes went red and I could tell he was trying to hold back his tears. He placed his hand on my face and leaned in towards me. I got all the same emotions from last time, butterflies, a lump in my throat, the lot. I thought that it was the perfect moment before but I was wrong this was definitely the perfect momen- “Excuse me” a small voice said before Ashley had reached my lips.
ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH! -Is what I wanted to say to whoever had interrupted my perfect moment for the second time! It was a small girl, stood with what looked like her mum, or older sister maybe? “Can I have a photo with you please?” said the sweet little voice, my heart melted a little. “Of course you can” said Ashley. It didn’t bother me so much this time because I knew how much it meant to Ashley now. “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I want a photo with her” the little girl said pointing at me. My chest fluttered and I got pins and needles. Finally, I had a fan that cared enough to come into a V.I.P club just to find me and have a photo. I couldn’t express my joy enough. I leaped from my chair and knelt down next to the girl whilst the elder woman took a couple of photos. Ashley just stood back, looking a little disheartened. I felt bad for stealing his lime light. “Hey, why don’t us two have a photo with Ashley?” I said to the girl smiling and pointing up at Ashley. “Bu-but I don’t know him” she said sounding worried. “Awh, that’s okay. I tell you something though, he is real famous, you know?” I said, exaggerating all my words. “He is?” the little girl looked up at Ashley with joy on her face. “Can we have a photo with you Ashley, Please?” I said winking at him. He giggled at me, the girl still looking overjoyed at him. Ashley knelt down on the other side of the girl, placing his hand on my back and rubbing his thumb over my spine ever so slightly. I got goose bumps as the woman took another couple of photos.
After meeting a few more fans and having a few more photos taken I was in the best of moods. “Hey, you fancy going for a walk?” Ashley grinned at me. “Yeah, just let me get my jacket from the bus?” he nodded, “I’ll wait here for you”. I practically sprinted to the bus, not letting myself rest. I ran inside and quickly picked up my jacket and went to meet Ashley, but all of a sudden, “Olive?” I heard a voice from the back of the bus say. I walked forward to find Stefan sat on one of the sofa’s, I went and sat next to him, “What are you doing in here?” I said sympathetically. Stefan shrugged, “Not really my scene in there to be honest. I am quite happy here” He giggled. I smiled back at him. “Well, you can’t stay here on your own. Where’s Dru?” I suggested. “With some girl I think” Stefan said slanting his face making me smile a little more. “I wanted to apologise for what I did earlier. That was uncool of me and you’re clearly interested in Ash, right?” I widened my eyes slightly not wanting to give him any ideas, “What? Um, no. I- I just… we are friends”. Stefan just rolled his eyes sarcastically. I giggled slightly which made Stefan giggle. He turned his head biting his lip. I looked at him and bit mine as well. I don’t know why I started looking at him the way I did. I knew I wasn’t attracted to him constantly but at that moment, I couldn’t help myself. I leaned towards him pushing my lips against his as he held the back of my neck so I couldn’t move away. Not that I wanted to.
We sat for about 5 minutes just giggling and kissing before Stefan slid his hand up the back on my Nirvana tee and pulled me closer to him, I grabbed onto his shoulder blades and pulled him as well. Our bodies were so close; I began to kiss his lips softly and then harder as he started rubbing my back. Before I knew it we were undressing one another. I threw Stefan’s hat on the floor as he began to kiss my neck. First our t-shirts, then trousers. I hesitated for a moment but one kiss from Stefan and pulled down his boxers. I lay on the sofa, Stefan towering above me smiling and brushing my hair out of my face. I bit my lip and pulled him on top of me. We continued to kiss for a few minutes before Stefan moved his hand down my body, grasping my thigh and thrusting into me over and over again. I grabbed the back of his hair and kissed his neck a few times before leaning back and exhaling extravagantly. I slipped my hands round his back and dug my nails in, making Stefan move faster. He began kissing me before slowing down and eventually stopping to finish. I moved my hands towards my forehead, already regretting what I had just done.

Part 6
The next morning I woke up in my cabin bed, immediately thinking about Ashley. I slid out of bed quietly and rushed to the toilet, I stared at myself in the mirror. You know the expression “Take a good long look at yourself”, that’s what I was trying to do, but it just made me feel worse. My eyes filled with tears but I stopped myself as I could hear someone rumbling around in the kitchen area.
I opened the bathroom door slightly and peeked through the tiny space. Ashley was there. He looked annoyed. I shut the door quietly and lead up against it, taking a few deep breaths and leaving the bathroom. “Hey” I smiled walking up to Ashley. He smirked. I could tell he was upset with me. “I’m really sorry, Ashley” I stared at floor. I couldn’t look at him. “I’m fine” He wasn’t. He kept pacing the kitchen, tidying up and making breakfast for everyone at the same time. “Ashley, just-just STOP!” I grabbed his arms but quickly let go and retreated to my original stance. Ashley just stood there and looked at me with sad eyes. I looked up at him, right into his eyes. His beautiful eyes. “I’m sorry, okay?” I said tearing up a little. He sighed and gave me a long, silent hug. “Where were you?” he whispered into my ear, still holding onto me. I didn’t know what to say, I filled to the brim with guilt. “I just- I was so tired. I must have fell asleep without realising. If it’s any consolation I thought of you as soon as I woke up” At least it wasn’t a full lie. I could feel Ashley smile as he pulled away and kissed my forehead which made me tingle all over. “Tea?” He said. I smiled and went to sit in the sofa room with Dylan.
Ashley joined shortly after handing me a cup of tea and sitting down. “Did anyone see where Stefan went last night?” Ashley asked. Dylan glared over at me; I glanced at him and then back to Ashley. I shrugged and quickly took a sip of my tea which burnt my mouth making me turn bright red. Ashley looked confused. Dylan coughed intentionally and walked away. “What’s up with him?” Ashley said. “Just tired probably” I watched as he walked into the bathroom. “He’d better rest up for tonight then”, I smiled and nodded at the thought of another gig. It was the only chance I had to escape reality and fall into my own little world with people who didn’t know what a bitch I actually was, with people who actually loved me and my boys for our talent.
The bus was on the move again. We were on the way to Bristol. I hadn’t heard of many fans in Bristol but still, after last night, any form of relief was necessary. It was just me and Ashley sat in the sofa room, in silence. Ashley smiled at me seductively, I blushed and smiled back. He shuffled around the sofa and sat next to me, so close that our legs were touching. Ashley pulled his arm back and draped it around the back of the sofa, brushing the tip of his fingers against my shoulder. I turned to look at him allowing him to kiss my forehead again. I closed my eyes to embrace the moment before resting my head softly on his shoulder. He rested his hand on my shoulder, pulling me closer in, resting his head on top of mine. I was close to falling asleep when all of a sudden Stefan walked in but stopped in his tracks when he saw me and Ashley. I assumed Ashley was asleep because he didn’t respond to Stefan’s presents. Stefan just winked with a smile and walked away without a word. I was completely baffled, but relived to see Stefan so relaxed about the situation.
Me and Ashley fell asleep for the whole journey, arriving in Bristol with just enough time to get ready and warm up. Everyone got on with their own business that day. The only interaction within the group was mild conversation between a few of us and mine and Ashley’s not so subtle flirtatious gestures such as smiling and winking at one another. Dylan would often give me a glare or two, but I was so in ore of Ashley that I hadn’t really taken notice of the band all day. It was only when TMB got on stage that I spoke to them.
I walked out into the corridor ready to make my way to the side of the stage to observe, again, when Dylan came out. “What are you playing at?” He said angrily. I turned around at took a few steps backwards. I had never seen Dylan like that before, I was scared. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking abo-““Bullshit!” Dylan interrupted, “This isn’t like you at all. You’re a good person. I’ve never in my entire life known you to get drunk and have sex with random people!” Dylan looked disgusted. I began to tear up, “I’m sorry, Dylan. I mean, Stefan isn’t exactly a stranger anymore, though”. “Do you like him?” He raised his eyebrows. I shook my head, “NO! Because you like Ashley, who just happens to be Stefan’s best friend. Well, you really fucked up there didn’t you, Olive? I don’t even know who you are anymore” I was speechless. Dylan had never been so harsh before. It took me a while to adjust to this change in Dylan. “I really don’t know what to say, Dylan. I fucked up. I know I did. I regret it so bad” I began to sob; “If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have done it. I’m falling for him, Dylan. So bad!” Dylan’s face suddenly dropped and became more considerate. “Are you serious?” he said in shock. I nodded and he pulled me in and held me, resting his head on top on mine just as Ashley had done, which made me sob even more. “This must be serious then. Fucking hell, Liv. Since when did you start falling in love with people? You dumb fuck!” He said jokingly holding me tighter as I dried up my tears and shrugged.
We just stood in the corridor hugging each other, getting lost in time. Dylan was one of my best friends so I knew I could count on him not to say anything. We must have been there for longer than we thought because before we knew it Ashley, Dru and Stefan were walking back down the corridor sweating from their performance. Ashley had a whopper of a grin on his face before noticing me tucked away in Dylan’s chest, to which he ran towards us, slipping his arm in-between our waists and taking over from Dylan. “What’s wrong, Babe?” He whispered placing his forehead on mine, staring into my eyes. I just smiled at him with red eyes, “Nothing is wrong. I promise”. Ashley didn’t waste the opportunity this time; he slowly tilted his head and pulled me slightly towards him, brushing his lips against mine, teasing me and making me ache for his sweetness. But when he finally took to my lips it was like fire, burning and tingling, making my whole body wanted to shake with excitement. Our tongues stroked gently and that was it…
I was inevitably and uncontrollably in love with Ashley Horne.



Part 7

I woke up the next morning in my cabin bed, laying on my side, reminiscing about the gig the night before. It was a pleasant gig, very smooth, and yet again Stef, Ash and Dru had riled up the crowed for a good time. It was good. The whole night was good. I was feeling much better about the Stefan situation now. I probably shouldn’t have but I was so over joyed with me and Ashley right now that nothing else mattered. Not even the band. I was so much more relaxed about the precision of the gigs now. It didn’t matter how perfect things went as long as we all had a great night, which was the case so far.
I was about to get out of bed when I felt a hand slide around my waist and pull me towards there well-built torso. I was a little surprised at first until I recognised the smell of Ashley. I rolled over and as expected Ashley was laying there, eyes not yet open but smiling as he pulled me even closer, eventually opening his eyes and stroking my face with a continuous smile stuck to his face. I smiled back, but not out of force this time, it was a real smile, a real, genuine, uncontrollable smile. We lay there for a little while, body’s pressed against each other, Ashley not bothered by his ‘morning glory’. We just laid there, looking at one another and smiling. It sounds cliché but I couldn’t have imagined waking up next to anyone better. I confirmed with myself that I was in fact besotted by Ashley by leaning in and resting my lips firmly on his, to which he moved his hand onto my upper back and pulled me in even closer, if that was even possible. I was still critical about something though…
“Ashley?” I whispered. He groaned as if to say Yes? “Your girlfriend?” I said trying not to sound to jealous. “Yeah, I’d like that” Ashley said. I forced myself back a little bit in confusion making Ashley open his eyes wide in realisation of what he had just said. “Oh shit. No, I was… um, dreaming. I didn’t scare you right?” He said shuffling round to lean on his elbows, hovering above me. I shook my head; “I meant what are you going to do about your girlfriend?” I said, admittedly kind of scared. I couldn’t think of anything better than being with Ashley but I hadn’t been in a relationship since I was 16, and I was now almost 19. However, what came next made me almost certain that Ashley was my soul mate; He giggled, “Girlfriend? Olive, I don’t have a girlfriend. Haven’t had one for months. Why did you think I had a girlfriend?” He looked almost offended. I sighed with relief, “It’s just when you were on the phone… You were laughing and… Oh my god” Although it was comforting to know that Ashley hadn’t had a girlfriend for a while, it suddenly hit me that if he ever found out about me and Stef, he’d be devastated. He wanted to be my boyfriend… I wanted him to be. I wanted him to myself. He could be all mine. “What’s up?” Ashley looked worried. I snapped at him quickly, “What? Nothing. Gosh” before tumbling out of bed to get a shower.
I briskly moved into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me, I turned to get changed but before I could gather my thoughts; “Ahhhh” I screeched, finding Stefan standing awkwardly in his boxers. “What the… What are you doing?” I bellowed. “Um, well I was trying to get changed but since you’re here” he winked. I quickly launched myself at him, coving his mouth with my hand, “Shhhhh…” I whispered, looking at the door for reassurance that Ashley hadn’t heard. I removed my hand; “Look, what happened with us was a drunken mistake. It didn’t mean anything. Okay?” I tried to be as quiet as possible. Stefan didn’t say a word, but I could see his face becoming more and bitterer as I looked at him for a response. “Really? It meant nothing? Just like you and Ashley are ‘just friends’, hmm?” Stefan was being overly sarcastic, but the main thing that bothered me was that he was being incredibly loud; I just looked at him with a gawky stare. “See, you don’t have a response. You wanted to fuc-“. It was a really stupid thing to do, and I could feel myself ready to be sick, but not with guilt, because I enjoyed interrupting Stefan with a kiss to quieten him down. Stefan pulled me in and I could feel him getting harder through his boxers, which is when I moved away, I may have just made a mistake but I wasn’t about to make it worse. “I knew it” he whispered with a grin as he walked out of the bathroom, leaving me to wallow in ore of my gut wrenching emotions.
This guilt continued for about 5 weeks. However, each time I stood on stage in front of my true friends, these people that really cared, everything I cared about seemed to just float away, and for a little while, I was completely happy. Stefan didn’t mention anything to Ashley, or any of the others apart from Dylan, clearly, which was good. He would occasionally make gestures to me behind Ashley’s back, winking and kissing the air. I pretended not to notice most of the time. Me and Ashley hadn’t mentioned the whole ‘girlfriend’ thing since I freaked out on him about it, but we were still acting the same, kisses and hug, sleeping in each other’s beds, it was nice. We had been all over the country by now including, Liverpool, Manchester, Birmingham, Swindon, Derby and were now on route to Blackpool for a couple of days. We were going to be staying in a hotel, as a little gift from our manager; he’d even paid for a room for Stef, Dru and Ash. I was optimistic about my day off, would give me a chance to clear the air with Ashley.
I woke on the Blackpool day off in a positive mood. Ashley was sleeping next to me as usual. It hadn’t crossed my mind that maybe it wasn’t all about me, I figured he could be home sick and he felt better sleeping in the same bed as someone. I mean, he hadn’t tried anything with me, yet.
I slipped out of bed, trying not to wake Ashley, went to make some tea and went through to the sofa room. I found Jordan chatting with someone on his Mac. He was giggling and smiling, not unusual for Jordan but it was nice to see him. He smiled up at me as I set a tea down for him and went to snuggle up next to him, noticing he was talking to a girl. Her face was very familiar, but I couldn’t think where I had seen her before. She had beautiful orange hair and a really pretty smile. I looked up a Jordan and gestured to him that he’d done well; he just grinned back at me, and continued to talk to his friend as I slid to the other side of the rounded sofa, leaving him to his own business.
“I’ll see you at Leeds soon then, yeah?” Jordan smiled as he closed his Mac and looked at me exited. Also making me excited about leaving for Leeds Festival in a few weeks. “Who’s that then?” I winked. “What’s it to you?” Jordan giggled taking a sip of his tea. “Hehe, she’s going to meet you at Leeds? That’s cool” “Yeah, her band are playing there” Jordan seemed happy enough so I didn’t pressure him to answer any more questions. Ashley soon joined us, sitting with me and giving me a swift peck on the lips. Before long, Terry, the bus driver (in case you forgot) shouted to us, “Blackpool, guys. Get your stuff.”
We did as Terry said and grabbed everything. It was strange not being greeted by thousands of screaming fans or an array of security guards. Stuart, our manager, must have picked a good hotel. Once we had got everyone off the bus we checked in and watched as Terry drove away to get the bus cleaned. We all collected out keys and ran off to find our rooms. I found mine, Room 260, without hassle. I settled in well, dropping all of my belongings on the floor and pouncing on the bed. There was a knock on the door soon after. I hesitated for a moment before opening the door to find Ashley holding all of his bags, with an innocent grin plastered on his smug little face.
Part 8
I stood for a second, not knowing whether to invite him in or not, but before I could say anything he shoved passed me, placed his many a bag next to the bed and sat down, tapping the bed with his hand asking me to join him. I pushed the door shut and walked over to him. I stood in front of him with my hands cupped around the back of his neck, his hands firmly on my waist with his fingertips pressing ever so slightly on the top on my ass.
“So I guess you’re staying in my room then?” I said biting my lip. “If you don’t mind?” Ashley said worryingly, as if there was a chance I was going to say no. Admittedly, I was looking forward to a weekend to myself, but I couldn’t turn him away, he was almost hypnotising me into saying yes to him. “’Course not” I grinned. Ashley sighed with relief, again, as if I was going to say no. He smiled and pulled me towards him slowly, lifting his head slightly inviting me into to kiss him. I did so as he pulled me even closer until I was lying on top of him on the bed. We continued to kiss and roll around on the bed for a little while. Biting each other’s lips and kissing one another’s neck until eventually Ashley rolled on top of me and elevated himself slightly, looking at me and biting his lip. I knew exactly what he wanted. I wanted it as well, but I just couldn’t stop thinking of me and Stefan. Me and Ashley’s best friend and what we had done.
I attempted to shake the thought from my head to prevent word vomit and start confessing stuff to Ashley at one of the most important parts in our relationship. I bit my lip as well, thinking for a moment, before sitting up, pushing Ashley on his back and kneeling on the bed. Ashley sat up as well and kneeled on the bed just in front of me. Our bodies pressed up against each other. He slid his hands from my waist upwards, taking my top off as he did so. I began to slide off his jacket as he kissed me, ever so softly on the forehead, then the cheek, and finally on my lips getting firmer with his touch as he started to unbutton my shorts and then taking off his vans top that he had worn the first day I met him. I pulled him in, breathing heavily in his ear, letting him kiss my neck and chest. He was frisking me all over, pushing his hand down my stomach and slowly playing with the front of my underwear. I wanted it so bad, I really did, but I still couldn’t shake the thought of Stefan.
Before long Ashley began to venture into my underwear, slowly moving his hand further and further down, until eventually, I took a deep breath and… “I had sex with Stefan!”… Word vomit. I bit my lip so as not to say anymore. I felt like smacking my head on the wall. Ashley froze, hand still in my pants, mouth open a little staring right at me, I wanted to tell him I was joking but that would have made things worse. He wouldn’t stop looking at me in shock… I felt like smacking him back into reality but again, that wouldn’t have helped the situation. “Ashley say something, please” I begged, pulling both my hands into a praying stance and placing them on my mouth. His eyes widened slightly and then he shook his head, still in shock. He retreated his hand from my underwear and slumped down on the bed. I buttoned myself back up, knowing what was coming next. Ashley sat on the end of the bed, head in hands, I put my hand on his back but as soon as I did so he stood up violently and began getting changed. “Ashley, I am so sorry. It meant nothing I promise you! It was a drunken mistake. I wish I could take it back, just please say something!” I began to sob, but Ashley didn’t respond, he carried on fanatically getting changed not even giving me a second glance before storming out of the hotel room not even shutting the door behind him.
I sat on the bed for hours and just cried, getting weird looks off any passers-by as I hadn’t even had the energy to shut the door. I wanted people to look at me in shame. I felt like my chest was about to explode, like my heart was going to collapse into my stomach at any minute. I had a lump in my throat and eventually cried so hard that I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. I crouched over the toilet until I had finished being sick and them collapsed onto the bathroom tiles and cried some more. All of a sudden there was a knock at the bathroom door, I quickly looked up hoping for Ashley, but instead; “What the fuck?” Stefan said in a gentle voice. “Oh, fuck off Stefan. You’re the last person I want to see right now!” I thumped my head back into my hands and began sobbing again. Stefan came and sat next to me, forcefully wrapping his arms around even though I struggled to get away, but after all that vomiting, I didn’t have the energy to fight it anymore, and I just relaxed into the comforting hug. “I told Ashley” I said, my voice muffled through Stefan’s shirt. “I gathered” Stefan said. I sat up quickly, “What do you mean?” I was confused. “Well, Mike and Dru said they saw Ashley walking out the hotel about 4 hours ago. Nobody has seen him since and then I come up here to find you like this” Stefan explained. “You’re not angry with me?” I said, tearing up once again, “Not at all, Liv. You did the right thing. I’m glad you told him” He smiled. I wanted to smile back but I was in too much pain. Then it suddenly hit me, “Hold on, 4 hours ago?”, Stefan nodded in response. I stood up quickly and pelted for the door, “Liv, wait” shouted Stefan. I didn’t. I carried on running out the hotel room, and towards the stairs, Stefan following behind.
I stopped at the elevator, catching my breath, as did Stefan when he reached me. “My god you can run” Stefan said jokingly, “What are we doing?” he asked. “We have got to find Ashley! He wouldn’t just go off for 4 hours without telling anyone” I said in a panic, leaping into the elevator and pushing the ground floor button over and over again until the doors shut, Stefan just making it into the elevator looking worried. “I’ll help you find him” Stefan said reassuring me that Ashley was going to be okay. I knew it was a bad idea for Stefan to help, but at this point in time I needed all the help I could get.
On the ground floor we happened to notice Jordan, Mike, Dylan and Dru sat at the bar, laughing and joking like nothing was wrong. We walked towards them, Dru whistling at me as I approached him, “Twit twoo. Where’s your top gone ay, Liv?” he said, smiling. I realised that within my whole drama in the hotel room, I had forgotten to put a top on. I glared at Stefan angrily for not telling me, but he just shrugged and wrapped his jacket around me. “Guys you need to help us find Ash” Stefan said. All four of them looked at each other confused. “He’s not in his room. We think he ran off” Stefan explained. Dru stood up straight away and flicked his head towards the exit of the hotel, looking at the other three boys who followed Dru. I looked at Stefan worried, hoping for a comforting look, but he just looked back with sad eyes and put his hand on my back as we walked to find Ashley.
Part 9
It was about 2pm when Ashley and I had had our argument. So by the time we started looking for him it was almost 7pm, and I was exhausted from all the crying and vomiting. Stefan could tell I was tired so whenever we checked somewhere and Ashley wasn’t there he’d sit me down, rub my back and tell me Ashley was fine, all to prevent me from breaking down again. We ran around all night looking for Ashley. I started to become angry that Ashley had put everyone through this. Despite what a heartless bitch I had been to him, I couldn’t help but think what a dick he was being for running away and upsetting everyone. All of a sudden Stefan’s phone rang. My heart stopped as he pulled it out and stared at it for a second before looking up at me; “It’s Dru” he said. I snatched the phone from him answering it in a panic; “Is he with you? Oh god, please tell me you’ve found him!” I pleaded to Dru. “Sorry Olive, Nothing” Dru said sadly. I began to pant trying to stop myself from crying. “Look, we are all shattered, Liv. It’s almost Midnight. His phone is off. He’s a big boy. He can take care of himself. You never know he might be at the hotel. Give it until morning and ring the police if he’s not back, yeah?” I heard Dru say over the top of my over exaggerated breathing. I knew he was right though. “Okay, okay. Just please tell me if he is there!” I said putting the phone down and calming down as me and Stefan walked towards a park to see if Ash had gone there.
After scouring most of the park, I started to lose all hope. I sat down on a bench and sunk deep into depression; Stefan walked over slowly and sat next to me. “You okay?” Stefan said. I didn’t respond but he knew the answer. “I am so sorry, Olive” Stefan said leaning back into the bench. I raised my eyebrows at him. “I mean it. I love Ash so much. He’s my best friend; I’d never do anything to hurt him. I just can’t help myself with you. I guess I’m trying to say that I will never forgive myself for hurting Ashley… But I will never be sorry for me and you” Stefan’s eyes filled with tears, as did mine. I didn’t cry though. I couldn’t cry anymore. “I’m sorry too” We looked at each other. “He really loves you, you know?” Stefan said. I sighed. Stefan wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me in, keeping me warm. “He’s lucky to have you, Liv” “He’s lucky to have you, Stef” We both smiled and sat on the bench for about 10 minutes before finally making our way back to the hotel, smiling.
We began to walk out of park when Stefan decided he needed a piss. “Wait for me at the entrance, yeah?” he said walking towards a few bushes nearby. I trundled off to the entrance and waited for a while. Whilst waiting I saw a silhouette of someone walking along the road. I wanted to look in case it was Ashley but I didn’t, I wasn’t about to be disappointed again. I could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer, until eventually, silence. The person had stopped. My stomach began to churn. I shook with fear before looking up to revile a man stood under the street light. I went dizzy for a moment and then turned to the wall and started heaving, but there was nothing in my stomach left to come up.
I turned back to find Ashley stood there under the light. He looked like an angel. A very sad, crying angel. I had to wipe my eyes a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t. I began sobbing, somehow. “You came looking for me?” Ashley whispered, tears rolling down his flawless face. I nodded as he walked towards me, cupping my face in his hands and pressing his lips against mine. He pulled away still holding my head in his hands as my eyes leaked more tears; “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. God, I’m just-“Ashley sobbed kissing me over and over again like he hadn’t seen me in years. “No, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have lied to you. I’m so sorry, Ashley. I love you!” I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him closer than I ever had before. We stood crying and hugging for a few minutes, but it felt like a life time to me.
“Ash?” said a voice from behind me. It was Stefan. My heart threw itself into my throat. This was bad, very bad. Ashley slowly let me go, staring at Stefan the whole time. “Ashley, don’t please just-“, I pleaded to him, “Go back to the hotel, Liv. Go on” Ashley said pushing me to leave. I didn’t want to, but I did anyway. I began walking back to the hotel, relived that me and Ashley were okay. I almost started smiling until I heard thumping and angry growls coming from where I had just walked. I ran back to find Stefan on top of Ashley, throwing punch after punch into Ashley’s face. Smashing his knuckles into the side of Ashley’s face whilst Ashley struggled to fight back. “STOP IT! STEFAN, STOP!” I screamed. He didn’t so I grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him off Ashley. “What- in- the- fucking world do you think you’re doing, you stupid, STUPID little boys!” I screeched at the pair of them. Before I knew it Ashley had stood up and began giving Stefan some of his own medicine. Holding Stef up against the wall, thrusting his clenched fist into Stef’s face and stomach. “Ashley!” I screamed in shock, running towards him and trying to get him off of Stefan.
The next thing I remember was waking up in hospital with an aching jaw and a sharp pain in my head.
Part 10
I lay; face up, in the hospital bed, eyes raw from crying and a very distinctive pain in my jaw. My head was a blur. I couldn’t remember anything that happened after Ashley and Stefan’s brawl. I thought about how this was going to be in the papers and all the things my fans, my true friend, all the things they’d hear about me. They’ll be so many rumours; I thought to myself. I then remembered that we had a gig tonight as well. This was one of the worst days I had had in a very long time. This was supposed to be a fun tour. I knew I was right about them; they fucked everything up for my band. I hated them so much for this, but I loved so much them at the same time.
I sat myself up to find Dru sat in a chair at the end of the bed. I tried to speak to him but I couldn’t, my jaw hurt too much. “You’re awake!” Dru smiled. I nodded. Dru was the only person I could really stand right now, so waking up to find him was a good start. “You feel okay?” He said standing and walking to the side of the bed. I screwed my face up slightly. “You know he didn’t mean to do it, right?” He said looking at me with sad eyes. I had no idea what he was on about, I frowned slightly and shrugged. “Jesus, you don’t remember?” I shook my head and gave Dru a sarcastic smile. “Fuck” He looked worried. “Look, whatever you hear, just know that they both love you very much. Especially Ash, okay?” I didn’t understand, but if I had trusted anyone that day it would have been Dru, so I nodded and tapped him on the shoulder, signalling a thank you. “Also, Stuart called. He said that because of what’s happened he’s set us up for a meet and greet with the fans instead of a gig. You cool with that?” I really wasn’t feeling playing a gig after everything so being a little more intimate with the fans was just what I needed.
Dru stayed with me for a while. I also got visited by Jordan, Mike and Dylan who made fun of my black eye. It was nice to have a laugh with my boys. The only time we had been close on the whole tour was when we were playing a gig. Several doctors came in to give me some pain killers, allowing me to talk for a while; he advised that I got some rest as well, meaning that my friends had to leave. They understood and went without hassle. “We’ll come get you for the meet and greet later, okay?” said Mike. I smiled at him, “Thanks guys” I replied.
I was just about the rest my head when I saw Stefan’s head poke from around the curtain. He was covered in bruises and cuts and was wearing a hospital gown. Both his eyes were black; he had a big cut on his forehead and a busted lip. He crept in and cheekily smiled at me, “Hey” he whispered. I smiled at him sitting up. “Ouch” I mouthed to him pointing at his cut. “I know. Got some cracked ribs as well, look” He pulled up his gown to reveal huge bruises that covered the entire right side of his body. I looked at them, then back up at Stefan, then back at the bruises. I reached out and touched them ever so gently, but it still made Stefan wince. I pulled back quickly, not noticing Ashley stood at the bottom of the bed. I jumped a little and held my hand to my chest, breathing heavily. Ashley didn’t even have to look at Stefan for him to know to leave.
Ashley looked like he’d been in a car crash. The left side of his face was bruised and he could barely open his eye. His lip had been split in 3 places and he had dislocated his jaw. I felt like crying at the sight of him, but I couldn’t. I literally couldn’t cry, my eyes were that soar. Ashley just looked at me with guilt pouring all over his face. He spluttered trying not to cry and held his face in his hands. “Ash?” I croaked. He looked up quickly continuing to hold back his cries. I tilted my head slightly, gesturing him to come to me. He did. Very slowly walking towards the side of my bed. Once he had reached my side I held out my hand and softly scooped his up to look at his knuckles. Every single one of his knuckles had split and he’d even popped two of them. He didn’t cry or wince or anything whilst I was touching them. I let go of his hand which flopped back to his side and began examining his face. He tried not to show it but I could tell he was in pain when I touched his eye, so I stopped and looked down in sadness. He lifted my head up with his finger, afterwards pressing his three middle fingers against his lips and then against mine. I smiled, it was painful, but I did it anyway.
I shuffled over on the bed for Ashley too lay next to me, but he wouldn’t. I looked confused at him. “I don’t deserve you” he said quite simply. I crooked my eyebrows at him before relaxing into the bed, “Please?” I asked. He did as I said and lay next to me. I slipped my hand into his, our fingers entwining and we did as we usually did, just laid there starting into each other’s eyes, or eye in this case. However, something was different this time. This time, I wasn’t lying to Ashley. This time it was pure and true. This time, it was reality.

Part 11
Ashley and I were in the hospital bed for hours before a doctor finally came in to check on me. He walked in and Ashley leaped up and off the bed within seconds. The doctor gave us both a disappointed look before getting his clipboard out and scribbling on it whilst me and Ashley sat in silence, looking at one another and then back at the doctor. “So…” began the Doctor, “It would seem you’ve sustained very little injures, luckily” He continued giving Ashley a scolding look, making me even more curious. “You have some clear bruising around your eye, a cracked joint in your jaw, some muscle sprain in your neck and mild head trauma” He explained whilst continuing to write on the clipboard. What he was writing was beyond me, and although he reassured me that my injuries weren’t overly serious, I still couldn’t understand how a little fall could induce that much damage. I nodded at the doctor in thanks after he examined me, checking my mouth and ears with a small torch. The doctor walked out explaining that he would be back soon to let us go, I relaxed into my bed; “Well, at least that’s done” I said, turning to Ashley with a smile before realising tears streaming down his bruised face. I sat at the edge of the bed next to him, placing my arm on his back and rubbing. “I’m so sorry, Olive. I’m just so fucking sorry” Ashley whimpered. “What? Don’t be ridiculous, Ash. I fell over, right? It was just a fall, it wasn’t your fault, and you couldn’t have helped it, right Ash?” I said trying to convince myself that it was just a fall, but I knew what had happened really, I just wasn’t ready to admit it to myself yet.
“I just turned to stop you from getting involved! I was trying to stop you getting hurt, babe, I promise. My elbow just hit your face…” Ashley explained looking at my black eye whilst holding the side of my face, rubbing my temple with his thumb. “You collapsed on floor and hit your head on the side of the road. I thought I’d fucking killed you” He bellowed. “Shh, it’s okay. Just stop crying please?” I asked him, scraping his hair back from his face. He calmed himself down and continued. “I tried waking you up but you wouldn’t, so obviously I freaked out and Stefan could hardly move so he was no help. I rang Dru and he came straight away and sorted everything out. Put you in the recovery position, rang an ambulance, helped Stefan up… All whilst I stood back and watched like a dick” Ashley looked down in disappointment. “Look, we don’t need to talk about this. I am fine, Stefan is fine…” I said, Ashley frowning at his best friends name, “…Your fine. Everybody is okay. We can put this behind us now and just move on” I suggested. “That’s not the point though!” Ashley stood up angrily, “I didn’t do anything to help, I should have been the hero… I should have saved you!” “Ashley you did!” I cried. “Imagine if you hadn’t of rang Dru… I might have never woken up. You did save me, Ash.” I explained to him in quite a patronising way, but he smiled at the thought, sitting back down and tilting his head to look up at me and then very gently kissing me on the forehead.
“Olive?” Ashley said, “Mhmm” I replied, “Before everything happened… And you were stood outside the park… You said you loved me…” Ashley reminded me. I started to worry a little. “Did you mean it?” He asked. I couldn’t look at him, but I nodded anyway. He smiled before standing up ready to walk away. I knew it; I had scared him away. I had- “Good” He said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at him in shock; I hadn’t expected him to be happy about it. It wasn’t even something I had considered saying to him, It just came out in the heat of the moment. I meant every word but I felt he deserved to know. I was a little disappointed that he didn’t say it back, but I wasn’t about to force him into anything, especially after everything that had happened recently. A bit of space might have been for the best.
Ashley left me alone for a little while so he could sign his discharge papers and not long after the doctor came to sort me out. He examined me again and gave me a time and date to be back for a check-up. There was no way I was going to be able to go for a check-up. I mean, we had Leeds coming up and I was not going miss that for the world. He made me sign some papers and then I was able to leave. I asked for Stefan’s room before I left and went to find him. To my surprise when I got to the room Ashley was sat on the floor outside but as soon as he noticed me he stood up and frowned. “What are you doing here?” He exclaimed. “I was just going to check on, Stefan” I explained subtly pointing at his room. “You’re joking, right?” Ashley said laughing. I frowned. “You’re serious?” He said. I looked at him confused. “You were going to go into an empty room, with Stefan, who you had previously fucked and who kicked the shit out of me, on your own, without telling me?” Ashley was not happy, clearly. I was speechless. I understood Ash was going to be upset but this sudden mood swing was baffling. Ashley shook his head at me and stormed off. I watched as he made his way round the corner and out of sight.
I didn’t follow him. Ashley had every right to trust me now. So, I went into Stefan’s room but he wasn’t there. I looked around the private room that Stef had been acquired with but nothing. I then heard shuffling coming from the on suite. I walked over and opened the door to find Stefan stark naked trying to get ready. I quickly slammed the door and stood petrified. “Olive?” I heard from the other side of the door which I was still holding. “Yeah?” I replied, trying to calm my breathing. “I can’t get changed. It hurts too much” Stefan shouted. “You want me to get a nurs-“, I asked before being interrupted, “NO! No, please. I don’t want some random seeing me like this. Can you… Would you mind?” Stefan asked with innocents crawling all over his voice. I took a few deep breaths and swallowed my pride, opening the door, trying not to look at Stefan’s naked body. I knelt down; helping him put his boxers on, pulling them half way up his legs and then leaving him to do the rest. “Liv, I can’t… Can you pull them all the way?” Stefan asked. I winced a little, still facing away so as not to be staring right as his length. I slid my hands up his thigh and grabbed brim of his boxers. All of a sudden someone walked into the other room; “Liv, Are you here? I’m sor-“ I heard Ashley say before stopping at the bathroom door noticing the uncanny position me and Stefan were in. “Shit…” I said before Ashley ran off again. I stood up and ran out the door, leaving Stefan with his boxers half way down his legs.
I ran into the corridor but it was too late. Ashley had gone. I rang him a few times but he wouldn’t answer. So I text him; ‘It wasn’t what it looked like. Please, come back?” I sent it and stuffed my phone back into my pocket in anger. “Why god? Why? Do you just hate me or something?” I said to myself, people walking by probably thinking I’d escaped from the psychiatric unit. I walked back into Stefan’s room to help him get ready to find he was almost done getting changed anyway. I cocked my eyebrows up at him. He looked at me with a fake smile; I just shook my head and helped him pull his tee-shirt over his head. “Come on. We’ll go wait for the lads” I said, apathetic about sorting things out with Ashley right now. I was just so tired, so fucking tired.


Part 12
We got to the entrance of the hospital to find Dru, Mike, Jordan and Dylan waiting with a mini white van ready to go to the meet and greet. I was looking forward to meeting the fans; I was on the biggest downer after everything and needed a pick me up. “Where’s Ashley?” said Dylan, “Don’t ask” I said dragging myself into the van, followed by everyone else clambering inside. The ride to the meet and greet hall seemed like it took forever. It was nice though. Driving along the road that was next to the beach really calmed me down and gave me time to think about everything. I didn’t speak a word on the drive because I was so caught up in my own head. I could occasionally hear the boys laughing at each other’s jokes which made me smile because although I was slowly losing all feeling, my boys were happy, and that’s all I wanted.
We arrived to hundreds of fans lining up outside the hall. We drove around the back of the venue so nobody could see us, parked up, jumped out of the van and entered through the back into the hall. It was a massive venue. It almost made me feel sick that we hadn’t played for everyone, but all I ever wanted when I was younger was to meet my favourite bands so I felt a little more comforted. Stuart had assigned a makeup artist to come help Me, Stef and Ash cover up our marks, but Ashley still hadn’t arrived. She sorted out me and Stef and with fantastic results as well. You could hardly see the cut on Stefan’s head and my black eye was barely visible. When we walked into the main hall there was several tables laid out in the hall, all connected in a straight line. We all went and sat down in allocated seats: first Dylan, then Jordan, Mike, Me, Stefan, Dru and… No Ashley.
All of sudden I could feel my phone buzz in my pocket. It was Ash; ‘Start without me. I won’t be long. Try not to suck anyone off whilst you’re waiting, alright?’ I tried not to let it get me down but it was heart crushing knowing that Ashley thought that of me. My brain felt like a giant mush. I had no idea what to do. What to feel. How was I supposed to make this better? Should I have to make this better? I shook the thought of Ashley for a while as the venue owner shouted, “Opening doors in 5”. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second before feeling Mike place his hand on my shoulder and lean it towards my ear, “We love ya, Liv. Just…Be happy. Okay?” whispered Mike. I opened my eyes and stared down at the table in front of me and just smiled. Mike lazed back into his chair when suddenly the doors opened and the fans came rolling in. We all sat up, pulling our seats in simultaneously and preparing to be bombarded with questions and objects to sign.
The first fan ran straight up to Stefan, screaming and jumping up and down. She shoved a CD into his face with a giant grin on her face, gasping for air as Stefan signed the CD. Before leaving she screamed at the top of her lungs; “I LOVE YOU, STEFAN” grabbing the attention of the whole hall. This was just one example of certain fans that we met that day. People were crying with happiness, some were very shy; others had no problem asking for hugs, high fives and kisses. A lot of the fans that I met would stare towards the end of the table, looking for Ashley; someone even asked me where he was. I struggled to answer when Stefan butted in; “He’ll be here soon. You’re welcome to wait if you like”, Stefan’s answer was much more diluted than what mine was going to be.
We had got through about 200 fans before we got a break, by which point I had been given presents such as cuddly toys, chocolate, a new hat; one fan even made a scrap book for the band full of photos from gigs, shoots and festivals. There were several messages from her and her friends explain why The Sonic Heroes were so important to them, and that’s when it hit me… All those times I had gotten jealous at The Midnight Beast because I thought they were taking our fans… those times had been wasted, because it wasn’t all about them. It sounds selfish but people loved us. Our band was important to people. This tour was never about us. It was never about The Midnight Beast being better than us. It was never about me falling into my own little world when on stage. It was never about me falling in love. This tour was about the fans and realising that was the first time I had been completely content with life on that tour without Ashley by my side.
We were all stood outside the back entrance of the venue taking a break when I started to get a sharp pain in my head. I pressed my hand flat out against my head and curled over in pain, hissing and spluttering as it got worse. Stefan and Mike crouched down beside me; “Liv, what’s up?” Mike said, but I couldn’t respond, the pain was overpowering. I felt like my head was going to implode. “Right, I’m ringing the ambulance” Dru said; “NO!” I shouted, holding my hand out to make everyone stop moving. The pain began to dissolve slowly and I started to breathe deeply resting my hands on my knees before eventually arching myself back up and returning to the tables.
That’s when things got even worse. I returned to the tables to find Ashley, sat in Stefan’s spot.

Part 13
Ashley clearly hadn’t been to see the makeup artist to get his marks covered up, but that was the least of my worries. I didn’t want him to cause a scene in front of the fans when they came back in, and I was still a little light headed from what had happened outside so arguing with Ashley was out of the question. I was unsure as to who was wrong in the situation, I mean, if Ashley had never of beat Stefan up then I wouldn’t have had to help him with his clothes and, well, everything would be fine now. I was sick and tired of constantly worrying about how Ashley was feeling, even though I couldn’t really help it.
I went and sat down in my seat, next to Ashley. He didn’t look at me. He just glared at the table in front of him, without even blinking. “You’re sat in Stefan’s seat” I said trying not to look at him but glancing up at him anyway. “I know” Ashley replied quite subdued. “Are you not going to move?” I asked. “You really think I’m letting you anywhere near him?” Ashley hissed, finally turning to look at me. I just looked back in fear before leaning on the table, not wanting to look at him. “We weren’t doing anything, Ash. He just needed help getting changed, and didn’t want a nurse to do it” I explained quietly as Jordan and Dylan returned to their seats. “Oh right, so you thought you’d go in and pull his boxers up for him whilst he was stood naked in front of you? Nice one” Ashley’s sarcastic tone began to become one of my pet peeves. “He was in a lot of pain, Ash. I was just helping him out. He’s still my friend” I tried to defend Stefan and myself. “Oh whatever, Liv. He wants you, don’t even deny it!” Ashley snapped. I was starting to become a little frightened of Ashley, especially after seeing what he did to Stefan. “Why were you sat outside his room earlier if you’re so pissed at him then?” I said, trying not to sound smug. He began to fiddle with the pen that was sat on the table, looking at me and then back at the pen, gritting his teeth in anger. “I’ve told you I love you, Ashley. I can’t do any more than that to make you trust me”, I turned back and sighed and we just sat in silence until Mike, Stef, Dru and the rest of the fans came in.
Each person that came in stared at Ashley’s face as if he was some sort of monster. I wanted to scream at each person who looked at him with disgust, but I composed myself well as Ashley was actually smiling and laughing with the fans, which was nice to see. One girl even asked what he had done to his face; jokingly he told her that someone was too rough with him in the bedroom, which made me giggle slightly, I tried not to let Ashley see that I was laughing at his jokes. I wanted him to think I was upset with him, but it didn’t work as every now and again he would brush his leg against mine, purposely, smiling smugly as he did so. The girls were still going crazy over Stefan and even more so now Ashley was sat with us.
There was more screaming and crying and one of the girls even fainted after Ashley had signed her hand. I was slightly disappointed in my fans for acting so ridiculous just for a boy but I had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing the effects of Mr Ashley Horne. People kept coming and going, asking me questions from “Are you single?” to “What’s your favourite animal?” A lot of random questions but it were a fun day all in all… Until someone said something about Stefan. She was only giving her opinion. “Me and my friends think it’d be really cute if you got with Stefan” said the fan in a cute voice, before shoving one my CD’s at me, urging me to sign it. I wasn’t sure how to respond, I quickly turned to Ashley. I could practically see him falling apart. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out what the girl had just suggested. I turned back to the grinning fan, signing her CD and giving it back to her, “Thanks, but Stefan’s just a good friend”. I felt like throwing my head at the desk, ‘good friend’? What in the world was I thinking saying ‘good friend’? That’s like code word for fuck buddy! The girl walked away giggling. I turned to Ashley but as expected he wasn’t there.
The signing finished soon after Ashley had left anyway. I was use to Ashley running away from situations now, so I wasn’t fazed by his disappearance too much. We all picked up our gifts, me having to grab Ashley’s presents as well, and made our way back to the van. We threw everything in the back of the van and jumped in. I sat down quickly before realising Ashley fast asleep in the back seat, tucked away neatly in the corner. I knew he was tired. He probably hadn’t slept in days. I thought he might want me to leave him alone after what the girl had said about me and Stef, but I went and sat next to him anyway as the van set off for the hotel.
We got back to the hotel quicker than we had left. I wasn’t very tired once arriving at the back at the hotel. My head was still very fuzzy. I didn’t know where I stood with Ashley now. If there was actually a chance of us being together at any point after everything. It might be easier to leave it now and just be friends, if that was possible. The thought of Stefan “wanting me” kept creeping back into my head and although it was easy to shake the thought, it wasn’t something I could forget about so carelessly.
I went to stand up out of my seat and leave the van but I suddenly felt a force dragging me back. Ashley had pulled me back into my seat. I faced him dead on as he looked into my eyes; “You get why I am upset right?” He said. “I just need time to let it go now, okay? Just need a release” he said, I shrugged a little but stopped myself before nodding so I didn’t upset him even more. He lent in and kissed me on the lips, lightly, so as not to aggravate our cuts. Ashley looked out the window, up to our hotel room and then back at me with a smile creeping over his face. He raised his eyebrows slightly and cocked his head towards the hotel, inviting me to join him where we had left off previously. I somewhat smiled at him, trying to make it a little more sentimental this time. We slipped out of the van, gathering our things and slowly made our way up to the room, ignoring the others. I rested my head on Ashley’s arm as we waited in the elevator, closing my eyes and letting all my cares wash away. I wasn’t thinking of anything at that point. Not Stefan, Not the band, not the fans, not myself or Ashley, I just blanked everything out for a few minutes. The elevator bleeped, alerting us that we were almost at our floor. I opened my eyes slowly before the doors opened, taking a moment to adjust myself back into existence.
It wasn’t long before we were stood outside the hotel room door. We just stood for a second, and then looked at one another, smiling. I let out a small laugh before thrusting the door open with the key and entering the room, turning a small light on so the room wasn’t too bright. I placed all my presents neatly on the floor at the end of the bed, before shuffling onto it and laying face up watching Ash as he shoved his gifts into his bag, smiling as he did so, looking over his shoulder at me every now and again. I stared at the ceiling for a second before I felt Ashley stood at the bottom of the bed taking my shoes off for me. He continued to smile as he did so, afterwards crawling over me, towards my head, elevated above my face for a little while before tilting in to kiss me, relaxing his body into mine as he did so.
“So, where were we?” he smiled cheekily.

Part 14
Although things hadn’t gone as planned, I still couldn’t help but smile at Ashley’s smug yet cute expression on his face when I clarified ‘where we had left off’ by pulling him in for a kiss. He was still lying on top of me so I spun him over and sat up quite profoundly on his crotch, noticing him becoming harder as I let him unbutton my shirt whilst kissing his neck. I could feel his breath on my neck, becoming deeper and more rigid, giving me goose bumps after he slid my shirt from my shoulders onto the floor, afterwards kissing my chest and rubbing my back, up and down.
I wrapped my hands around the back of Ashley’s neck and kissed him, but he began to take control and kissed me back even more passionately before taking off his jacket, allowing me to sit up before he took his top off to expose his well-toned torso and arm muscles. I looked him up and down for a second, raising my eyebrows and widening my eyes to prove I was impressed. He grinned, flashing his neat white teeth to me before relaxing into a more romantic smile and brushing my hair from my face and behind my ear. I closed my eyes for a second, but not out of tiredness, out of comfort and happiness. It was evident that Ashley made me feel shit sometimes but right now, at that moment, I was the happiest girl in the world, there was no denying it.
Ashley pulled me in for another kiss, bushing his tongue against mine every so often and holding my back and my head so I couldn’t pull away, not that I particularly wanted to. He stopped for a moment, placing his forehead firmly against mine and sighing with relief; “You wanna’ do this, yeah?” Ashley asked, a hint of nerve lingering in his voice. I nodded slightly; “Only if you do” I replied quietly. I looked right at me, “I always want you, Olive. Always”. At that moment I kissed him forcefully, resting him back down as I did so, sitting back up and crawling down his body until I got to his crotch area. I unbuttoned his shorts for him and slid them down his legs, letting him kick them off his feet at the end of the bed.
I moved back up to his face and hovered over his body whilst kissing him, moving my hand down his stomach, towards the hem of his boxers. He let out a small moan and grabbed my arm as I entered his briefs and brushed his length with the tip of my fingers for a while, teasing him, making him want more. He moaned a little more, kissing me faster until eventually I gave him what him wanted, to which he grabbed my hair at the back of my head, and continued to caress my face with his lips as I had hold of his manhood, squeezing ever so slightly and massaging it, rubbing my hand up and down continuously, getting faster and then slower every now and again, making his breathing rate increase dramatically.
After about 8-9 minutes of pleasuring Ash, he grabbed my arm again; “Wait!” he shouted, I stopped. He retrieved my hand from his underwear and flipped me on my back, wasting no time in taking my jeans off before kissing my stomach softly and glancing up at me with a seductive smirk on his face when he reached my underwear, gripping the edge with his teeth, still smiling. I bit my lip as he used his mouth to pull my underpants down my thigh until eventually slipping his hands down my legs and taking my pants off completely, biting his lip as he did so and quickly returning to his original stance in-between my thighs. I was almost shaking with anticipation as he wrapped his arms underneath my legs and around, holding onto the side of my stomach, looking up for a second and cocking one side of his mouth up. He rubbed my sides, teasing me as I had done to him earlier. He slowly began to use his tongue gently to satisfy me. Licking the rim, trying to be as soft as possible, making me bite my lip so hard it bled. I craved more and was able to handle it until he started getting faster and harder with his touch. I grabbed the top of his head and moaned as I frisked my hands through his soft hair and he continued to play with me.
Eventually he moved upwards, towards the clit and started tonguing it slightly, moving one of his hands from my stomach and towards my source of pleasure at the time. He didn’t hesitate in using his index figure to play around for a while before entering me slowly, making me gasp lightly and hold my breath as I feared I would explode with pleasure had I exhaled. Ashley moved quicker and quicker, with his tongue and hands, making me grasp the bed covers in enjoyment. I got a rush of energy surge through my body, making me pant as I spread out a little more, allowing Ashley a little more freedom to indulge me a little longer.
As I was just hitting my climax, Ashley slowed down, letting my energy levels settle, but making the awaiting orgasm retreat until later. Eventually, Ash stopped all together, wiping his mouth as he sat up, crawling back over me, wrapping his arm around my back and undoing my bra, throwing it across the room once he had it off, then holding our bodies close together and massaging my lips with his again. I could feel his relatively large erection against the lower half of my body, through his boxers, which he seemed reluctant to take off. I tried to prompt him by pulling away from his kiss, biting my lip making it bleed again and glancing down at his underwear, before looking back at him with desirable eyes. He bit his lip again, looking my face up and down before wiping the blood from my lip and pulling down his boxers and chucking them on the floor beside us. He then placed both of his hands on the pillow, one both sides of my head and suspended himself over me for a second, looking at me with a face full of nerves; “I love you” I replied to his distressed look. His eyes suddenly glimmered with excitement as he leaned in towards my face, “I love you too. So much” Ashley whispered in my ear before positioning himself properly and thrusting himself into me, making us both let a little moan escape from our mouths.
He was slow and romantic with his movements, he wasn’t disrespectful or harmful. He ensured I was okay by stroking my face every so often and making sure he was pleasuring me more. It was a lovely gesture, but eventually I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into me, arching my back a little and whispering “Faster” into Ashley’s ear. He did as I asked and thrusted himself into me faster and harder, making me gasp for air and throwing my arms onto the duvet, clutching them with intense fulfilment as he entered me occasionally going deeper as I screamed through the hurricane of an orgasm that I was forced to enjoy, loving every second of it as we both began to slow our breathing. Soon after, I watched as Ashley rivalled in pleasure as he had his orgasm, almost turning me on again knowing that I had caused such a beautiful thing.
Ashley left me, causing me to gasp a little as he retired to the bathroom to get cleaned up. I just lay there for a moment in completely satisfaction and happiness, safe in the knowledge of knowing that Ashley was now all mine, and I was his. I smiled to myself before noticing Ashley had come back in the room; “You’re so beautiful” he said, climbing back onto the bed and holding me, me curling up into his embrace, and as cliché as it sounds, we fell asleep in each other’s arms, knowing this was the start of something happy.

However, I soon opened my eyes to the thought of Stefan. Oh, fucking great.





Part 15
I manage to fall asleep quite peacefully in Ash’s arms. He had an intoxicating smell that made me feel so comfortable whenever I caught a sniff of him. Sometime I could smell him on my clothes on stage and I would forget lyrics, making me look quite unprofessional but, it really wasn’t my fault!
Anyway, I awoke face to face with Ash, our noses almost touching as he breathed softly, making him look incredibly peaceful. I got a warm feeling as I watched him in his slumbering state, I grinned to myself when he occasionally snored slightly. I wasn’t surprised Ash was tired, after the night before he deserved a good rest, so I left him in bed, threw on some clothes and went down to the lobby.
Sat on his own in the lobby was Stefan. I wanted to avoid talking to him, but he inevitably noticed me and waved me over. An awkward smile was about all I could manage to greet Stefan with that day, for some reason I felt guilty, I knew I shouldn’t have, but it felt like I had almost cheated Stefan in this ridiculous love triangle that seemed to have formed over the past few months, with several more months to go still.
“Morning” said Stefan as I sat down next to him, without a reply. “Everything alright?” He asked. I nodded. “You sure?” He smiled, I frowned at him. “Okay, okay!” He said, holding his hands up slightly protecting himself from my glare. “You made up with Ash yet?” I asked bluntly. Stefan lent forward, resting his arms on his knees, not replying. I waited for a second until he sighed loudly and shook his head. “Figures” I said. “What do you mean by that?” Stefan asked with a bitter tone. “Erm, Nothing, nothing” I stuttered. Stefan did not look impressed. “You had sex with him didn’t you?” Stefan asked, already knowing the answer. I glanced up at him through guilty eyes and then down at the floor in shame. I was unsure how I could go from feeling so happy to so sick in a few minutes. “It was always going to happen eventually, Stef” I said in my softest voice. “I fucking knew it!” Stefan muttered as he stood up angrily and walked away.
I didn’t follow him. From my experience, following a boy when he’s angry can only result in either more dispute, or hospital, so I left him and just relaxed into the sofa, letting a little tear dribble down my cheek. I hadn’t noticed Ashley coming down the stairs so it was a shock when his lips came into contact with my face. “Hello, you. I wondered where you had gone” Ashley greeted me cheerfully. I tried to wipe my cheek before he noticed. “What’s wrong?” He asked, crouching down in front of me and wiping my cheek. “Oh, nothing. Just, Erm… You know...” I tried to explain but I had no excuses left. “You regret it?” Ashley asked, his tone of voice dramatically decreasing to a dull, lethargic tone. I shook my head quickly; “No, not one bit! I wouldn’t change it for the world, Ash. It was perfect” I explained stroking his stubbly face. A small smile crawled across his face as he looked up at me, and then placed himself next to me on the sofa, putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me in, wrapping his other arm around me and holding me, kissing me on the top of my head.
“Ash?” I said. “Yes, babe?” He replied, his joyful tone returning, “Make up with Stefan, please?” I knew it was a long shot and I wasn’t expecting him to do it at all, in fact, I was expecting him to fall out with me, but to my surprise, he agreed. “What? You’re actually going to… be his friend again?” I asked, sitting up and looking at him in awe of his response. He nodded and smiled, “Anything for you” he said leaning in for a kiss, but I held my hand out, pressing it against his lips to stop the kiss; “Hold on… You’re doing it for me?” I asked, in disappointment. “Yeah… Was that not the right answer?” Ashley joked. “Well, you should be his friend for you. Not me” I told him. Ashley slumped himself down on the sofa and sighed. “I will be his friend for you, Olive. But… I just can’t forgive him just yet” He said with an apathetic strain on his voice. “Why?” I asked, hoping for a more positive response. Ashley turned to look at me for a second, before preparing himself for a small speech. He turned to me, edging himself towards me and cupping my face in his hands before taking a deep breath;
“I love you, okay? So much, and I love Stef. He’s my best friend, but he got you first. It breaks my heart to know that I am not the only one you want. That may not be the case now, but at one point, you wanted someone other than me, that’s not the point though. It’s obvious that you’ve wanted other people, but you wanted Stef. My best friend. The person I have been able to trust with my life since I was 9 years old and to have that trust shattered after nearly 14 years of friendship is not something that can be fixed with a tap on the back and bro hug” Ashley had never opened up to me like this before and he seemed surprisingly calm talking about Stefan, which he hadn’t been able to do in days without getting irritated.
I wasn’t able to speak after Ashley had told me everything. I understood, and Ashley knew I understood, so there was no need for a response. We ended the conversation with a slow, soft peck on the lips and continued on with the long day ahead, preparing for the hectic travel back in the bus to Preston and the gig later on that night.
Part 16
Me and Ash walked up to our hotel room to pack our things, holding hands as we did so. I had to think about were me and Ash were heading. I mean, we had had sex, we were holding hands and kissing in public, and he had told me he loved me. Was I his girlfriend? I didn’t want to ask, I mean, despite him being all up for it before, I thought maybe recent events could have changed his mind about me. I had to find out what was going on with him, and the only person I could think close enough to Ash to know that sort of thing at the moment was Dru.
Dru was incredibly mature and polite when speaking to me, ruling out the fact that he was in a comedy band. So when me and Ash had got changed and packed I tried my best to speak to Dru privately. I knew he was sharing a room with Stef so not only did I have to get rid of Ash, I had to find a way of avoiding Stefan as well.
“I’m just going to make sure the boys are sorted” I said to Ash, walking towards the door. “They are big boys you know, they can take care of themselves. You’re not their mum.” Ash replied, stopping me in my tracks. “Um, I know, but I like mothering them” I smirked jokingly. Ash laughed slightly, and then sighed; “Very well. I’ll come with you” He said, “What? No. Why?” I said nervously. “What do you mean? I’m just going to check on them with you. What’s the big deal?” Ashley asked me sternly. “I just- I want a moment with them… alone. You know” I said. “Oh, I see” Ashley said looking at the floor with sadness. I walked over to him, lifting his head with my finger; “I just want to speak with them for a moment. Bit of pep talk, you know” I said, bear faced lying to him. Ashley smiled and quickly kissed me before I trundled off to Dru’s room.
I found his room without any trouble, and stood in front of the door for a second, anxious about seeing Stefan. Regardless, I knocked on and Dru soon answered; “Liv? What you doing here?” Dru asked confused. “I need to talk to you… about Ashley” I said attempting my best puppy eyed look. “Erm, yeah. Sure, come in” Dru stepped aside for me to enter and shut the door once I had placed myself comfortably on the bed. I was relived to find Stefan wasn’t there, and watched as Dru continued to pack his bag. “So, what’s up?” Dru asked, glancing over at me. “I-erm. I was just wondering, like, Ashley. He hasn’t said anything about me has he?” I said, trying not to sound to up myself. Dru thought for a moment and then shook his head; “Not that I can recall” he said politely. “Really?” I said in shock. Dru started to look a little anxious; “Erm, nope. Nothing” he smiled awkwardly. He had something to say, I could see it! The way he kept pacing the room was the biggest give away. “Dru, what has he said?” I said standing up intimidatingly. All of a sudden there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it” Dru ran for the door, opening it quickly. “Oh look, its Ash!” Dru said sounding even more awkward.
“What are you doing here?” Ashley said. I couldn’t stop looking at Dru with bitterness. “I thought I might as well check up on Dru whilst I was at it” I said slowly, still looking at Dru who was on the verge of drowning in his own nervous sweat. “Is something going on here?” Ashley asked. “No, nothing going on here. Liv was just leaving actually” Dru said quickly, leaving Ash with a confused look on his face. I didn’t disobey the clear demand to leave Dru’s room, but my stomach still ached with what he wouldn’t tell me. I brushed Ashley’s arm with my hand and he quickly kissed the top of my head as I walked past.
I walked out of the room closing the door behind me. I turned to walk away but ended up bumping right into someone. “I’m so sorry, I’m-“ I mumbled before realising it was Stefan, crying his eyes out. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him; he looked so vulnerable and lost. “Woh, woh, Stefan, sweetie what’s wrong?” I said holding him tight. I had never seen Stefan so upset before. This was a whole new side to him. “I just- I can’t- I don’t know!” He cried out. I released him from my gripping hug before grabbing his hand and dragging him away before anyone saw him.

I quickly pulled him into my hotel room and forced him to sit down on the bed before running to the bathroom to get some cold tissues to help the swelling around his eyes. I returned to find him in a state. He was baulling into his hands. I stopped for a second to look at him; it broke my heart to see Stefan like this. I began to tear up from the pain in my chest. He wouldn’t stop crying, no matter how many times I whipped his eyes, or stroked his face, or hugged him, it just seemed to make things worse. I was helpless, Stefan was literally breaking down in front of me and I had no idea how to stop it. I had tears running down my face, I couldn’t even find the consciousness to wipe them away, I was fixated on Stefan in this horrific stance. Eventually, I found myself walking into the bathroom and whimpering a little out of guilt. Had I caused this? I thought to myself. I covered my mouth with my hand so Stefan couldn’t hear me gasping for air through my miniature cries. Although, I was unsure Stefan could hear anything over the top of his own cries for help.

Suddenly, the room went silent. My first thought was of Stefan passed out on the bed, maybe he had cried himself to sleep. I slowly walked out of the bathroom to find Stefan sat in his original position, sniffling. I walked towards him and knelt in front of him. He just looked at me with blood shot eyes, very, very blood shot eyes. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I knew that was a stupid question. I held onto his neck and pressed my forehead against his, closing my eyes for a second, Stefan did the same. “Thank you” Stefan whispered. I wasn’t sure what I had done to help him, but he was grateful for something I had done. We opened our eyes and I quickly pecked his cheek before standing up, getting ready to pick up mine and Ash’s bags and wait for the bus.
Stefan stayed sat down for a moment, sniffing back some tears. He eventually stood and walked towards the door, as he did so, Ash walked right in. He we go. I thought to myself, rolling my eyes, but no. Ashley had miraculously turned into a proper gentleman and stood aside for Stefan to walk out. Granted he wouldn’t look at Stefan but we were making progress. Stefan walked out with no trouble and Ashley walked in grabbing mine and his bags from me.
Despite Stefan’s mountainous break down, the day seemed to becoming more positive. Don’t suppose that was going to last much longer though.

Part 17
Everything calmed down slowly after being in Blackpool. The gig in Preston was as usual and put me and the rest of the guys in a good mood for Leeds coming up; even Stefan was smiling and laughing now. Everybody just got on with business like nothing had happened. It baffled me to begin with, but I wasn’t about to question the peaceful atmosphere.
A month or so had past and we had played gigs in Blackburn, Manchester, Rochdale and many more, as we slowly made our way up to Leeds. We had never played such a big festival before, so it was a pretty big deal, I wasn’t about to let anyone ruin it for us. As we made our way to Leeds I remembered Jordan’s friend. I was curious and so casually strolled into the sofa room after rolling out of bed to find Jordan sat, smiling to himself.
“Why are you so happy then?” I asked Jordan, sitting opposite him. “No reason, just thinking about the gig I guess” Jordan’s smile got even wider. “So nothing to do with your orange haired friend then?” I asked smugly, Jordan let out a little laugh. “I thought so” I said winking at Jordan; “What’s her name?” I ask, genuinely curious. “Hayley” Jordan replied. I nodded in approval. “You said she is in a band right?” I asked. Jordan nodded, smirking a little. I smiled at Jordan and walked off to greet Ashley when he woke up.
The bus was nice and clean when it arrived to pick us up in Blackpool, although it didn’t take long for it to start stinking of men again. Walking past the guy’s cabin beds, all I could smell was sweat and the unholy stench of man feet. It made me feel sick, so sick that I did in fact have to run to the toilet to vomit. As I sat next to the toilet heaving, Stefan ran in to make sure I was okay; “Woh, are you alright?” Stefan stuttered. I nodded and pushed him out the door as I could feel the sick in my throat, ready to come up. Stefan left, wincing as he did so, shortly followed by Ashley entering the bathroom and holding my hair out of my face.
Once I had cleaned myself up and brushed my teeth, I fell into Ashley’s arms, ear pressed up against his chest, hearing his heart thumping faster and faster as I gripped his back softly, an indication for him not to let go just yet. “You feeling better?” Ashley said. “Yeah, just the smell of the bus made my stomach churn” I said, snuggling even further into Ash’s chest. “Smell? What smell?” Ashley asked confused. I pulled away from him for a second and raised my eyebrows in shock that he couldn’t smell the horrific aroma of the bus. “Ashley, it absolutely stinks in this bus. All the beds reek of… boy! How can you not smell it? It’s so strong” I’m not sure why but I started to get a little angry that Ashley was questioning my senses. It might sound silly but I knew the bus stank, why was he denying it?
“Honestly babe, I don’t know what you’re on about. Maybe your ill?” Ashley suggested. “Come on, I’ll make you some breakfast” He lead me through the kitchen and sat me on sofa, covering me with a blanket. I stopped him before he went back into the kitchen; “Thank you, Ashley” I smiled. He grinned and trundled off to the kitchen. After a few seconds I heard Ashley’s muffled voice shout from the kitchen, probably waking everyone up if my vomiting hadn’t already done so. “What do you want?” He asked; “Something with Marmite on” I shouted; my stomach rumbling with hunger at the thought of it. All of a sudden Ashley appeared back in the sofa room with a muddled look on his face; “What?” I snapped. “You hate Marmite” He said. It made me smile that he knew that about me, but he was right, I didn’t like marmite, but it was the first thing I thought of when Ashley asked me. “Erm…” I wasn’t sure what to say; “Can I have some anyway?” I asked. Ashley giggled; “I guess so” He said and went back to the kitchen.
I scoffed about 8 pieces of marmite and toast after Ashley made several trips back and forth to the kitchen when I asked for more. “Jesus Liv, What happened to marmite being the devil’s food?” Ash said with a mesmerised look on his face as I ate the last bit of toast, savouring the spread. I shrugged and threw my plate on the table, turning back and smiling at Ashley as I got a random surge of happy emotions. Ashley looked a little freaked out, but took advantage of the fact that I was being joyful for a change. It was probably the thought of the festival that got me in such a good mood.
Suddenly; “Okay guys, 30 minutes to Leeds” shouted Terry from the front of the bus, after that everyone started to get really nervous and kept themselves to themselves whilst getting ready.

Part 18
Once everyone had packed their stuff for the day and had calmed down a little, we all got off the bus. Dylan, Mike, Dru, Stef and Jordan first, Ash and me trailing behind. As I was walking down the large steps to get off the bus, Ash grabbed my arm, gripping it a little too hard and then letting go nervously when he realised he was hurting me. “What?” I said sharply. “I just- I” Ashley stuttered. I frowned; “Ash, what’s going on?” “You love me, right?” Ash asked with genuine concern on his face. “What?” I said in shock. “Just answer… You love me, don’t you?” Ash’s voice was becoming more filled with worry. “Ash, why would you need to ask that? Of course I do!” I said, smiling a little to try and comfort him. Ash sighed with relief; “And you know I love you, yeah?” He asked. I nodded and smiled even more at the question. “Good” He said, quickly kissing me and holding my hand, leading us both out of the bus and towards the back stage area of the main stage.
Being back stage was a little boring. However, we got to meet some other bands playing at the festival. Ash would often glance over if I was talking to a boy band. It made me feel good that he was getting a little jealous, but I would keep giving him kissed to make sure he was reassured, after being questioned by him this morning I didn’t want to throw him off course and make him think I didn’t love him because, well… I did.
After a while I took a walk to the VIP toilets, which in all honestly the only thing VIP thing about them was that they actually had toilet paper in all the cubicles. I took a pee and then went to wash my hands. Whilst doing so I began to feel light headed and dizzy. I gripped the sides of the sink and hunched over, closing my eyes to try and help the nauseating feel being pumped around my body. I tried to stop myself from fainting, but that just resulted in excruciating head pains, that same as the ones in Blackpool. I was confused as I had only had these head pains once before, it couldn’t have been anything serious. Despite it being incredibly unhygienic, I sat on the floor and gripped onto my head, in hope that it would stop the pains. Nobody was here to help me, making the situation even more stressful. I gritted my teeth and let out the most blood curdling scream you could have imagined. It must have helped because slowly but surely my head started to return to its normal state, but I stayed sat on the floor for a moment before returning to our backstage room.
“What the fuck happened to you!?” Dru exclaimed as I walked towards him and Jordan. I looked confused at him before looking over at Jordan who was staring at my face. “Shit, Liv. What the hell?” Jordan finally said. “What?” I said touching my face before realising it was covered in blood. I stood for a moment in shock when all of a sudden I felt someone hug me from behind. I turned to find Ash, his face turning from a giant smile to a terrified cringe. I covered the bottom half of my face, then realising it was all over my top and my jeans. I widened my eyes at Ashley who before I knew it had picked me up and was carrying me back to the bus.
I wasn’t sure why, but as Ash was running me to the bus I began to tear up. I was scared. Petrified in fact. Ashley didn’t know I was having these head pains. Should I tell him? Worry him even more? I couldn’t do that too him. He would probably make me cancel the tour and there was no way in hell I was going to let everyone down, not after being so harsh on Stefan about letting everyone down at our opening gig.
When me and Ash got to the bus I could hardly move, I was in shock. Ashley began frantically running around, gathering clothes for me and wet towels to clean me with. He began undressing me and cleaning my face and chest with the towels. After a little while I became a little more comfortable and grabbed the towel off Ashley who looked at me with red eyes, as if he was ready to cry. I quickly gave him a kiss but before I could pull away Ashley pulled me closer and pushed his lips hard against mine, breathing in as he did so. He released me from his grip and rested his forehead on my shoulder. I wrapped my hand around his neck and rubbed the back of his head as he sniffled a little. He lifted his head back up, revealing his wet eyes which I dried with the part of the towel that wasn’t blood stained. Ash smiled a little, grabbing the shirt he had picked out for me. It was my Nirvana shirt, the one I wore for the opening gig. I looked at the shirt and then smiled back at him after he had pulled it over my head allowing me to push my arms through.
“You know, I knew I loved you the first time I saw you wearing that shirt” Ashley said, looking slightly impressed with himself. “Really?” I asked, mesmerised at what he had just said. He nodded. “You know what I mean when I say I love you, don’t you?” Ash asked. I looked at him a little confused. “I mean like… I want to be with you” Ash said, “Oh yeah, I know. Me too” I said with a smile. “No” Ash continued. “Like, I want to be with you… forever” He looked at me for a response, but I was stuck for words. I was in ore of Ashley at that point, I knew what I wanted to say but my mouth wouldn’t let it come out. “I-I mean, I” I slurred. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same…” Ash said, looking at little disappointed whilst grasping my jeans and handing them to me. “No” I shouted, knocking the jeans from his hand. “Ashley, I love you. More than anything, and have done since the first time I saw you. I want to be with you, okay? For the rest of my life” I told him. He smiled slightly, glancing at the floor and then back up at me. “Now, stop with all the cheesy, nostalgic shit, we’re meant to be rock stars” I said winking at Ash jokingly, picking my jeans up and stepping into them. Ash walked to his bag and began rummaging around in it before grabbing whatever he was looking for, kissing my cheek and running out of the bus.

What was he up to now?

Part 19
I finished getting ready on my own in the bus and after cleaning the rest of the blood from my nose, began walking back to the main stage. It took me a few minutes to get back stage as there had been several fans ask me for photos in the car park. It was slightly awkward when I had to keep checking my noes to ensure it wasn’t pouring with blood again, but after the entail reassurance, interaction with the fans was a good way to cheer me up. I walked away with a big grin on my face after meeting the 6 or 7 fans that had turned up, plus the sun was amplifying a perfect amount of heat so the day was just getting better by the moment, that was until I saw Stefan, talking to a girl.
Stefan was talking to her, laughing and brushing his hand over her shoulder occasionally after he had saw me walk back into the arena. I went to sit down under one of the parasols, making sure I had Stefan in my peripheral vision. He kept looking over at me to see if I was looking, and would awkwardly laugh and look back at the girl once he saw me looking at him. I tried to ignore him as much as I could; I knew what he was trying to do. I never really got jealous, but the more I tried to fight my protectiveness over Stefan, the more jealous I got.
After a while, I noticed Jordan wondering around in one of the cabins, so I joined him in hope that he would distract me from Stef. “Hey man. Why you in here?” I asked. “Ugh, no reason” Jordan replied in a grumpy voice. I frowned slightly; “What’s up? How come you aren’t with your friend? Thought you were meeting her here” I smiled smugly. Jordan just rolled his eyes; “Why do you think?” He said. I looked out the window, suddenly realising the girl that Stefan was talking to was Hayley, Jordan’s orange haired friend. “What the fuck is he playing at?” I mumbled to myself. “What?” Jordan said quickly. I shook my head; “Nothing. Just leave it with me” I said to Jordan, walking out the door so he didn’t have a chance to object.
I walked towards the pair who was still laughing together, which made my stomach churn. Stefan locked onto me as I walked slowly towards him, standing behind him, gripping his arm and standing on my tip toes to whisper in his ear. “Back off, Stef” I whispered through gritted teeth, awkwardly smiling at Hayley over Stefan’s shoulder as I did so. Stefan choked a little; “What?” He said. “Come with me” I said, dragging Stefan away before stopping and pointing out where Jordan was to Hayley. I dragged Stefan out of sight. “What the fuck are you playing at? Like, seriously! What’s going on with you?” I ranted at him. He just stood with a sorry look on his face. “Well? You know, all this crying in hotel rooms, and then flirting with girls in front of my face, I don’t understand that! You need to talk to me, Stef” I said, trying to be as nice as possible. “I just, well, I love y-“But before he could continue I covered his mouth with my hand and stared into his eyes; “Stefan, I thought we were over this. You cannot do this to Ash, okay? It’s totally unfair” I said, Stefan nodded understandingly. “Can’t help feelings though, right?” Stef said. I slanted my mouth slightly, unsure as what to say. I tried to comfort him by placing my hand on his shoulder, but I really don’t think it made anything better. “Look, I wanted to ask you something” I said. Stef nodded. “Dru, he… he knows something about Ash but he won’t tell me. Back in Blackpool, I tried to get him to tell me, but he just kicked me out his room. You can’t help me out can you?” I practically pleaded to Stefan. He tried to keep a straight face and wouldn’t look at me; “You know what’s going on don’t you! Tell me, please” I begged. Stefan shook his head a little and sighed eventually giving in; “Look, don’t be angry, Ash loves you a lot yeah. It’s just with the tour ending soon…” Stefan said. Ashley was going to break up with me, I knew it. “He doesn’t think, well, he just-“But before Stefan could continue I heard a voice shouting my name; “Olive!” Bellowed Ash, as he ran over to me smiling, stopping when he realised Stefan was stood beside me. I rolled my eyes at the interruption; “Talk later yeah?” I asked Stef who nodded and walked away as I took to Ashley’s arms, taking advantage of the fact that I may not get to do that again after he breaks up with me.

Then again, I wasn’t prepared to wait around for him to break my heart; I’d rather have it over and done with.

Part 20
I could hardly bear the thought of not being with Ash anymore, but after what Stefan had told me, I knew I was going to get hurt either way. As Ash and I walked towards one of the outdoor tables, I caught Jordan and Hayley out of the corner of my eye, holding hands. I don’t think I had ever seen Jordan’s smile so big before. It made me feel a little more comfortable about breaking up with Ash because, although something good was ending between us, something even better was beginning with one of my closest friends.
Before we sat down, I took the opportunity to kiss Ashley one last time. I got all the old feelings, butterflies, throat lump, jelly legs, it was probably the most emotion I had felt all tour, and that’s saying something. I attempted to hold back my feelings but as I released Ash from my lips I couldn’t help but allow a tear to roll down the side of my face. This was the most painful thing I had ever had to do in my life. I sat Ash down, sitting on a chair opposite him, sniffling a little as I did so. “What’s up?” Ash said wiping the tear from my face, just making this so much more challenging. “Look, you know I love you, Ashley…” I began, pausing for a moment to watch as Ash’s face turned into a whirlpool of worry.
“Stefan told me what you are going to do…” I continued. Ashley’s face was now almost impossible to resist, I just wanted to hold him and not let go. “So, I think it’s best if we don’t drag it out. You know, just leave it here” I said with a whimper. “Wait? Why are you doing this? You don’t want this; I know that more than you do!” Ash replied, filled with emotion. “Ashley, you don’t have to pretend. Stefan told me, so… Let’s just leave it at that” I said, trying not to look at him. Ashley grabbed my hand; “No, that’s not fair. You can’t break up with me because you’re scared. That’s not fair! You told me forever!” Ashley said, looking at me with blankets of tears covering his eyes. I was confused; I thought Ashley would be a little more optimistic about this, considering he was going to break up with me anyway. Maybe he was just wasn’t ready to end it yet, but wanted to do it in his own time? No, I wasn’t going to have that. If he just wanted a ‘on tour’ relationship then he could find it with someone else. It was on my terms now.
“Ashley, I am just as heartbroken as you, but with the tour ending soon and everything that’s happened, I think maybe it’s best to just, you know… Stop this before we both get really hurt” I said, trying to keep myself composed. “I am really hurt! Now, I-am-hurting! This is not fair! I’m going to find out what Stefan said to you because I know you don’t want this…” Ashley replied in rage as he stormed off to find Stefan. He was right, it isn’t what I wanted, but I had to stand my ground. I wasn’t going to wait around for Ash to have his fun before tossing me aside for the next punk rock chick to come along.
I sat for a moment, thinking of what Ashley had said, I was pessimistic about whether he really loved me or not. Just then I realised he said he was looking for Stefan and ran after him. It took me the best part of 20 minutes to find the both of them sat in one of the cabins, more peaceful than I had expected. Ash had his head down whilst Stef had a sympathetic look on his face. I just looked at the both of them before Ashley stood and walked over to me, holding my hand when he got to me; “I love you so much, Olive. So, if this is what you want then, okay. I understand” He said, with a calm tone stuck to his voice box. After that he just left me stood in my own self-pity, I expected him to kick up a fuss. The fact that he was so mature about the situation was kind of under whelming. I guess I wanted him to fight, fight for me, for us, but no, nothing.
I went and sat down on the sofa opposite Stef, not even able to cry because of how shocked I was at Ashley’s reaction. “It’ll work out, Liv. Don’t worry” Stefan said. I just looked at him, jaw on the floor. Then Stefan leaned in a little; “Liv, you’re not listening. It’s-going-to-work-out. I promise” Stef said with a snide wink.
Part 21
The Sonic Hero’s weren’t playing until the next day, so I had some time to myself to ponder on everything that had happened on tour. Ash, Stef and Dru got asked to do a special performance which also meant I was able to take a walk without bumping into any of them. Leeds was a nice place to walk around; it was quite peaceful in some aspects. My head was clear enough for me to be able to reminisce the times me and the six lads had spent together. I remembered hating Stef the first time I saw him, and how stupid I thought Dru looked, but knowing that I always thought differently of Ash made everything so much harder to cope with. I thought about the night of the opening gig, and how much I still regretted being with Stefan, despite not feeling particularly guilty about it, I just wish I hadn’t caused so much hassle for me and Ashley.
At first I thought that maybe it was a good idea for me and Ash to break up, but after thinking about everything we had been through, it would be a complete and utter waste to throw it all away now. I wanted Ash to fight for me, but maybe it was supposed to be the other way around… Maybe I was supposed to fight for Ash.
I didn’t waste any more time thinking about the past, I literally sprinted across the whole backstage area of the festival to get to the tent that the guys were playing at. I didn’t stop for anyone, even though I heard several people shout my name, I didn’t have time for them right now. I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been, if Ash wanted to break up with me, he would have, but he didn’t, I broke up with him. What was I thinking? This whole tour had been such a messy blur and it’s only now that I realise how amazing Ashley actually was. He held me when I was sad, nursed me when I was ill, forgiven me when I had done wrong… I was looking for the perfect boy and the entire time he was stood right in front of me.
The Midnight Beast was still performing when I finally reached the tent. I didn’t want to disturb them and so stood anxiously next to the stage, bobbing up and down in anticipation, rehearsing what I was going to say to Ashley. I was constantly checking the stage to see if they had finished, they hadn’t. However, looking at Ashley on stage, performing to hundreds of rowdy fans, he looked so happy… genuinely happy. I began criticising my decision to fight for Ashley. I had never seen him happier than when he was on stage, and so trying to get him back now seemed pointless. I wanted him to be happy, and he was happy now. This was the end, but it was okay, because the love of my life was content, and that’s all I really wanted
I looked at him on stage one last time, watching his uncontrollable smile and his confidence when singing, before turning to walk away. I took a few small steps before; “Liv?” Ash said. My heart raced and my mind suddenly went into fight or flight mode. What was I supposed to say to him? Although I had previously planned what to say to him, it quickly disappeared from my mind as soon as he was stood in front of me. I stuttered for a moment before eventually blurting out the words; “I – I don’t want – I don’t want to break up. I want to be with you, Ash” I said, feeling kind of embarrassed. Ashley smiled. Then I smiled, becoming a little more confident that Ashley wasn’t rejecting my proposal. “I want you to be my boyfriend, Ashley” I asked. Ashley grinned even more but then all of a sudden he shook his head a little, like he was snapping himself back into reality and put on a soft frown. Something wasn’t right with him; he was acting strange, he was hiding something from me still. “What?” I asked. “It’s not enough” Ashley replied. “W-what?” I stuttered. “I don’t want to be your boyfriend, Olive. I need more than that” Ashley said, choking on his words.
Part 22
Ashley just stood; blank faced, he didn’t even twitch. His face was emotionless. He was definitely up to something, but at that moment, all I could think about was not being with him, but I still stood by what I had suggested to myself previously, I just wanted him to be happy. “I’m- I don’t- Okay, Ash” I said, trying not to look to disappointed. Ashley smiled and leaned in to hug me, he held me tight; it didn’t feel any different, it still felt like a loving hug, but as soon as our bodies pushed up against each other I had to pull away, clutching my breasts as I did so; “What? What’s up?” Ashley asked. “It’s-it’s nothing” I said; I lied. It was an odd sensation, but my breasts had become slightly tender, and became painful when touched. I ignored it; it was probably me starting my…’lady week’. That would explain all the strange emotions I had been having as well.
Ashley looked slightly worried but I just told him I would see him later and he agreed, I then walked off, exhausted from holding back tears and went into the nearest cabin to find Mike sitting on his own. I went and curled up next to him, feeling incredibly vulnerable. He gave me a quick, soft hug, again making my chest tingle with pain, but it was bearable so I just cuddled up to him before he pulled away slightly with a confused look on his face. “What?” I said. “Um, Liv… Don’t take this the wrong way but…have you’re-um- things-um, I mean…” Mike stuttered pointing at my chest. I frowned and looked down to check, they looked normal to me so I just hit him lightly on the arm and leant back into him jokingly; “No, dude. You obviously haven’t been checking me out enough lately” I said joking again.
Mike and I just sat there for a while in silence. “So, everything okay?” Mike said, breaking the silence and relieving me from thinking about Ash. “Erm, yeah… yeah sure it is” I said, trying not to give too much away. “You positive?” Mike prompted me to tell him, but I didn’t. “Yeah, everything is fine, dude. I swear” I said, reassuring him. Suddenly, Dylan and Jordan came running in; “Jesus, there you are!” shouted Dylan. I looked up, “What?” I asked. Dylan and Jordan came and sat with us on the sofa, all four of us sat snuggled up to each other. “You okay, Liv?” Jordan asked. “I knew something was wrong” Mike exclaimed. “Ah, its nothing. Just me and Ashley… stuff” I said, not wanting it to become a big deal. “Wait? Has he done it?” Mike said. I sat up; “Done what?” I asked slowly. Mike sank back into his seat and looked around the room before coughing and then awkwardly leaving the room; “Well, I’ve got to… um, leave and do some… “Mike didn’t even finish before he leaped out of the door. I looked at Dylan and Jordan for an explanation. They both shrugged, genuinely baffled by Mikes strange behaviour.
We all got into general chat about the tour, leaving Ash out of the conversation, when suddenly; “Liv, what’s going on with your… um” Dylan said looking confused at my chest area. I looked down again to check what the big deal was but nothing, they just looked normal. “What? I don’t understand what everyone’s problem is!” I didn’t even give Dylan a chance to explain before retiring to the bus to get some rest for the next day, not knowing that it was probably going to be one of the biggest days of my life. I climbed into bed and as pathetic as is sounds, silently cried myself into a dream about being home; crazily, it was the best night sleep I had had in a long time.

Part 23
I woke up the next morning feeling a little better about everything. My head was clearer and now that I didn’t have to worry about me and Ashley so much, I had time to concentrate on myself and the other 3 again. Today was the day I had been most exited for the whole tour. I couldn’t wait to get out there and play to thousands of people, no matter what happened, that would always be my favourite bit, playing my music with the people I love, to the people I love.
Considering I went to sleep quite early the night before, I woke up early as well, so I decided to have some well needed quality time with my guitar. I had a walk around the bus with my guitar strapped around my neck, just casually strumming away and looking around the bus. I found myself noticing things I hadn’t had the time to see before; the purple carpet walls, the greyish curtains that covered the front of the cabin beds, even the little patterns imprinted around the TV screen. However, after a little while I found myself strumming the tune to one of Stefan’s songs that he had constantly been playing on his Ukulele whilst we had been on tour. It made me realise that maybe everything wasn’t going to be okay after all, despite what Stefan had promised me. I quickly changed the tune and looked around to make sure nobody had noticed. They hadn’t. Well, that’s what I thought.
Suddenly; “You like my songs?” I turned to find Stefan stood looking at me. “Um, I wasn’t-“, I tried to defend my unconscious mistake. “Liv, I’ve played that song millions of time to know when someone is attempting to replicate it” Stefan said with a smug grin on his face. I just have him a sarcastic stare before slumping down onto the sofa, softly letting my guitar rest on my knees. Stefan soon came and sat next me, smirking a little at my guitar. “What?” I asked. “Nothing, just unusual seeing a girl with such a hard-core guitar” He said with a wink. I giggled a little; “Well, I am pretty damn hard-core” I said sarcastically. Stefan laughed; “Yeah… don’t I just know it” He replied. I tried to laugh but we both just kind of sank into an awkward silence, remembering all the bad times we had spent together.
We looked at each other for a moment, breaking the awkwardness. Stefan looked right into my eyes; I started to feel sick. Not guilty sick, I never felt guilty when I was with Stefan. It was a depressing, nauseating sickness, at the fact that I could be with Stefan now, without it having a massive effect on me and Ash. It was inevitable, but Stefan soon lent in and kissed me softly on the lips. I didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, but he soon pulled away and sighed, looking disappointed in himself. “I-I’m sorry. I can do this to Ash” He said. “Bu-but me and Ash aren’t together anymore, Stef” I stuttered. I wasn’t sure why I was fighting for Stefan’s affection, I had never had strong feelings for him, I mean, there had always been a spark between us. Maybe I wanted to make Ash jealous. Whether I did, or whether I didn’t, it worked. “Don’t ask questions. I just can’t do this” Stef argued. All of a sudden I caught a glimpse of Ash stood in the hall way, looking at me and Stef. He shook his head in disappointment and walked away without a word. Now I started to feel guilty.
Part 24
All morning I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. I felt like I needed to throw up but I kept it down for the sake of everyone else. I didn’t want anybody worrying about me. I can guarantee Jordan was worried about me, especially after me and Ashley broke up. I wasn’t sure whether we were ever together in the first place so to say that we had broken up just made it all the more realistic and serious, which, of course, got me more depressed, but today wasn’t about that. This was one of the most important gigs we had ever played and so keeping myself together was needed now more than ever… again, for everyone else’s sake.
I tried to stay out of everybody’s way, I found that the more I got involved with people, the more they got hurt… physically especially. I rolled my eyes thinking about Stefan and Ashley’s fight. “What’s up with you?” Said a voice from in front of my. I looked up to find Ashley swigging a bottle of beer; “You do realise it’s like 11am, right?” I asked. Ashley looked at his beer before swallowing slowly; “Um, yeah. Going to need it for today I think” he said with an awkward laugh. I raised my eyebrows, a little disappointed in Ashley. I had never known him to be a huge drinker, especially not this early in the morning. Maybe the break up was getting to him a little. Should I say something? No. I wasn’t going to be disappointed again. “Still like marmite then?” Ashley asked. I looked down only just realising I had a pot of marmite in my hand, half full. I casually threw the pot on the side and wiped the remainder of the paste from my teeth; I faked a giggle and shrugged, confusing myself as to why I was still eating that crap.
After Ashley had finished his beer and we had broken the awkward silence talking about the gig later on; we went to get changed and waited for everyone else outside the bus. “Liv, I don’t mean to make things awkward but… what’s going on with your tits?” Ashley said slanting his face slightly. “WHAT?” I shouted jumping back and looking down. “There’s nothing wrong with them! Jeeze! Why is everyone so-“Ashley interrupted; “Liv! Calm down, they just look… you know… a little… bigger” Ashley said, trying to keep me calm. I stood a little confused but I enjoyed the fact that Ashley still noticed that kind of thing. “Really? I hadn’t noticed… “I said, Ashley nodding confirming his original statement. I looked down, a little worried, then back up at Ash. He stepped forward and scooped my hand up and leaned in really close to my face; “Everything is going to be okay, Liv. I promise.” Ashley said, kissing me on my cheek and then walking off with the rest of the boys who had just walked out of the bus.
Part 25
Being back stage didn’t help much. It just reminded me of breaking up with Ashley and after the little kiss outside the bus I knew I wasn’t going to be okay without, despite what both him and Stef had promised me. I sat on my own, away from everyone, in a sort of hypnotic stance, just staring at the floor trying to block everything out. It worked; it took me a while to notice Stefan was stood next to me, calling my name.
I snapped back into a conscious state and apologised to Stefan. “That’s okay. I wanted to ask you something” He said. I was sceptical at first; “Okay, go on…” I said slowly. “Well, I would have asked you sooner but I was wondering if you wanted to feature in one of our songs in our next set” He said with a smile. I sat up and tried to compute what Stefan just said; “Hold on… you want me to get on stage and sing about lesbians and sex with you guys. Yeah, right” I said sarcastically. “No, you fool. One of my songs! The one you were playing this morning on your guitar. You know the tune so I’m assuming you know the words?” Stefan asked. I thought for a moment… “Please, Liv. It’d be a nice way for us all to be friends again, you know?” Stefan tried to convince me. Eventually I gave in and agreed to do the performance with the boys. “Awesome, Ash will love that” but before Stef could walk away; “Wait! What?” I said with a harsh tone. Stefan turned back slowly; “I mean… Because he… wants you two to be… you know…” Stefan said. “No, please elaborate!” I said trying to be smug with my words. “Friends, Liv. He wants you two to be friends” Stefan said convincingly. I nodded and let go of the ridiculous thought of me and Ash getting back together.
I soon went in for a practise with the boys; little did I know this would be the last time we played as a band for a very long time. Hayley was sat there the whole time, watching and smiling at Jordan every now and again, making him mess up .I tried not to get annoyed at him, but keeping my emotions tided down lately was difficult for some reason plus the anticipation of waiting to go on stage with the other boys was getting too much for me. Suddenly, Ashley came in; I stopped and looked at him. He signalled me to come outside with him, I did, and we stood in front of one another for a minute. “We are going on soon; Stef told me you’re joining us?” Ash asked. I looked him deep into his eyes before realising what he had said; “Um yeah, yeah!” I said with a smile. Ashley just looked down at me with a big grin on his face and suddenly all hope for me and Ash had returned. “Good” he whispered softly, still looking at me smiling, his eyes glimmering as he did so. Ashley brushed my hair behind my ear; “You need to show everyone your face when on stage. It’s not something that needs hiding, okay?” Ashley said with a stupidly big smile, eventually faking a cough and walking away slowly, looking at me the whole time. He bit his lip before turning his back and jogging off to start his set. I walked back into the practise room smiling, making the boys smile.
It took twenty five long minuets for one of the organisers to walk in, my excitement reaching its peak. “Olive, they’re ready for you” I leaped out my seat and ran to the door; stopping in my tracks and turning to my band that had stopped playing. They were all just looking at me. Mike was smiling at me, real sentimental like. Jordan had took his eyes off Hayley for a moment to realise I was leaving; he had a small smile on my face. “You- you have fun okay, Liv. We love ya’ ”said Dylan, confusing me but making me smile as I took one last look at my band and walked towards to event that was about to change my life forever.

Part 26
I had only occasionally had a clear mind since this tour had started. I had constantly been thinking of Stefan or Ashley or my boys, but at that moment, walking to the stage, all I could think of was how far we had come as a group. Not just The Sonic Hero’s but Stefan, Ashley and Dru. Considering my thoughts on all three of them when I first met them, and the impact they had made on me, just one person, proved how far they had come as people. It was evident that I had been a bitch, from the beginning I was judgmental and stupid and I may still be, but I had learnt so much whilst being with these people. I had learnt how to hate and love, be relaxed and stressed, happy and tired all at the same time, and whether it was a good or a bad thing, I had definitely changed, and things were about to change even more.
The organiser that had taken me from the practise room before lead me towards the stage and up the stairs to stand side stage, ready to go on but as I did so I began to get small, sharp pains at the back of my head, nothing I couldn’t handle though, they were getting easier to deal with. As I stood there, I saw all the thousands of people cheering for The Midnight Beast as they sang and danced around like idiots. It reminded me of the first time I watched them perform and the audience’s reaction then, it was safe to say they had amazing fans, from start to finish they had had support. I glanced at all three of the lads as they finished their song; Dru stood, arms wide open, sweating his own body weight, Stefan with the biggest grin on his face, looking right to left at all of the fans and Ashley… smiling… at me.
All three lads then ran off stage in my direction, smiling as they did so. Stefan stopped beside me; “You ready?” he asked. I nodded and smiled, looking at him in a new light after having thought about how far he’s come. Although he came across as confident and smug, he was one of the sweetest, most caring people I knew and so walking onto the stage to perform with him was one of the single most amazing experiences of my life. Step by step, we got closer to the front of the stage, a guard running over to hand me my guitar as Stefan introduced our set; “We have a special treat especially for you guys” he began as I got comfortable by adjusting my guitar strap and resting it on my shoulder. “The day I wrote this song, was the first time I met a certain person, who soon became someone very close to me” He explained to the audience, who were practically silent as Stef told his story. “I would play this song over and over again, until eventually I caught this person sneaking around playing the tune on her guitar” Stefan looked at me and smiled; “This is a song I wrote for you, Liv” Stefan said looking right into my eyes. I began strumming the guitar as Stefan sang the beautiful lyrics that described our relationship perfectly. He sang of the difficulty we had faced and obviously included the comical side to our link.
After the song had finished the audience roared with enjoyment, I noticed people crying, people smiling and some were holding cameras and phones in the air to capture the special moment. Stefan grabbed my hand and held it tight before holding it high in the air as a signal for the audience to cheer; they did. “Thank you” Stefan finished as he pulled my hand and we walked off stage together to which I found Ashley waiting for me. Stefan and I stopped in front of Ash when suddenly Stefan turned to me and hugged me, squeezing me and then releasing me just after whispering in my ear “Thank you for everything”. It confused me as I was unsure what I had done to deserve such a kind thanks, but he soon handed me over to Ashley who scooped my hand up, looked at me with a loving stare and without saying a word, pulled me back onto stage, making the audience cheer once again.
I looked back as Ashley tugged me to the front of the stage to find Stef, Dru, Jordan, Mike and Dylan stood with great big smiles on their face, which confused me even more. I looked back at Ashley who was looking incredibly nervous, he looked back at me long enough for me to mouth the words “You okay?” to him. Ashley responded with a smile as he stood on stage and looked over at the audience releasing my hand for a moment. “Hey everyone” Ashley began with a bit of a stutter. “So, you know how much me and the other two love you guy’s right?” He asked to which the audience responded with a tidal wave of loud noises. “Well, I figured if Stef can share something special with you, then you wouldn’t mind me doing so either” He continued. I was beginning to think Ashley was trying to compete with Stefan, but Ash had clearly had this planned for a while.
“I’ve known Olive for about 4 months now and if there is one thing I have learnt about her, it is that she has the kindest, most beautiful heart of all the people I know. She hasn’t made the best decisions, and neither have I, but I want her to know how much I love her” Ashley kept glancing at me, I think he was trying to ensure himself that he was doing the right thing, and he was, but as he continued I began to feel the my head pains getting harder and more painful but I wasn’t about to go get Ash all worried by keeling over in pain. The audience was completely silent, they knew what was coming, Stef and the other boys knew what was coming, Ashley knew but I was still clueless.
Suddenly, Ashley turned to me and scooped both of my hands into his; “Hey” He said exhaling forcefully to try and calm himself down,” First of all, I want you to know how sorry I am for everything. Second, I love you so fucking much, Olive” Ashley continued as I looked at the floor whilst blushing; “Look at me” He said lifting my head up, I did. “Third, the only reason I don’t want to be your boyfriend, Olive, is because I want to be so much more than that…” Ashley looked deep into my eyes and at that moment I understood everything. I understood why he pretended to not want to be with me, I understood why Dru was acting so strange in the hotel room and why Stefan wouldn’t be with me. Ashley didn’t want to be my boyfriend because he wanted to be my… husband.
And just as I realised this, Ashley let go of my hands, reached into his pocket and slowly elevated himself down to rest on one knee, pulling out the most elegant diamond ring, presenting it to me as though it was some sort of prize. Ashley just looked up at me with big blue eyes, smiling that beautiful smile as he often did, and if his smile was the last thing I was to see, then I wouldn’t wish any other way. “So? You want to be Mrs Horne?” he asked with the biggest grin I had ever seen him pull. But before I could respond, my whole body began to throb and before I knew it…
Blank.
Part 27
When I finally woke up, I heard nothing, just the sound of distant traffic. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t, I tried to move my arms and legs but I became exhausted and gave up, all I could do was listen. I recognised the uncomfortable sponge mat I was clearly lying on and assumed that I was either dead or lying in hospital, but I was still a little panicked that I was unable to see or move and the last thing I remember was Ashley talking on stage and then nothing.
I calmed myself slightly until I heard a door open and a rush of sound entered the room. Beeps and footsteps everywhere until eventually the door clunked shut and all I could hear was the footsteps of a single person getting closer and closer, eventually stopping. Suddenly, I felt a warm, rough hand rub down my arm and grasp my hand. I knew exactly who it was. Their tender touch and small hairs on their hand but most of all, I recognised that smell; it was Ashley. Without a doubt.
After several moments of his calming embrace that door opened, once again allowing a hurricane of noise to enter my ears. Soon the door shut and I heard a woman’s voice; “I need to check her IV” she said with a sweet voice; a nurse obviously. Ashley didn’t say anything; he probably just did that nod he does when he isn’t in a talking mood. My hand was slowly realised from Ashley’s grip and placed neatly back on the bed, I tried to clutch my hand so he didn’t let go but I couldn’t; it was frustrating not having control over my own body. A silence filled the room and even I could tell it was awkward, but I didn’t try to talk, I wanted to gain some energy before trying to gain possession of my body again. I felt a softer pair of hands on my skin; “This may hurt a little” said the sweet voice again. I had no idea who she was talking to, but I was soon to find out that it was me. I felt a small pinch in my hand, I didn’t know what she had done but I felt like pulling my hand but obviously… I couldn’t.
“W-why… How come you spoke to her?” I heard Ashley’s voice say from a short distance. “Well, her brain activity has increased to the point where, well, she can most probably hear you now” said the woman. I wanted to jump up and shout and tell Ashley I could hear him. His voice got me so excited and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. The woman soon dropped my hand; “You should talk to her, she knows you’re here, look, her heart rate is increasing” said the woman in a smiley tone. I heard Ashley slowly walk forward, I could smell him getting closer, making me try and smile. There was a little bit of a silence before eventually the door opened and quickly shut again, making me think Ashley had left but soon after; “H-hey Liv. It’s Ash… Um” he began. “I don’t know what to say… or if you can even hear me but… um…” Ashley stopped for a moment and I heard him sob quietly. I felt my eyebrows scowl but only for a second. It got me exited and I tried to move again, but still nothing. I felt like a terrible person, listening to Ashley’s tiny cries, not being able to help him was the most painful experience. I struggled with my entire mite to move and touch him, reassure him, but I physically couldn’t.
All of a sudden; “Liv?” I heard Ashley ask. “Did you just… your hand… it…you moved your hand!” Ash’s voice began getting more and more vibrant. I hadn’t felt my hand move, but either way he wasn’t crying anymore and that was a great release. A few seconds later the door opened again; exiting me even more to how much attention I had been getting since being moderately awake. “Dude, she moved her hand!” Ashley squealed. The door shut and I heard footsteps walking around me and stopping at my side; “Did she?” I heard Stefan say, sounding like he had lost his voice ever so slightly. Ashley made a reassuring noise; “They said she can hear us, but I don’t think she can. Doesn’t make sense after what the doctor said” Ashley explained, again making me want to scream. I heard Stefan pull up a chair and sit on it, making it squeak as he got comfortable. “So, what are you going to do about the whole… you know” Stefan asked. “I don’t know, Stef. She might not even remember me when she wakes up…” Ash said with a sad tone to his voice. My head was pounding with rage at the fact that I couldn’t just jump out of bed and hold him, he needed to know I was still here and that I remembered him!
I wasn’t having anymore of this, I wasn’t going to give up, I strained myself to open my eyes, I was constantly fighting for my own body whilst listening to everything around me. “I don’t know what to say, Ash, but if there is one thing I do know, it’s that she loves you, she has done from the start and if she forgets who you are then… I will be shocked” I heard Stefan say reassuringly. I tried to stretch out my hands and wiggle my toes; I tried everything to get them to notice that I was here. “I don’t know Stef, it isn’t looking good…” Ashley spoke, making me fight even harder to move somehow. Ashley then brushed his fingers through my hair; “I didn’t even find out whether she wanted to marry me” He said quietly, and that was it.
Daylight!

Part 28
I slowly opened my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the light before realising the intense silence that had filled the room. I slowly turned my head, relieved that I was able to move again, and found Stefan staring at me in shock. My whole body ached so sitting up and turning to greet Ashley took a lot of effort, but I managed it without any help as Stefan and Ashley had 100% attention on the fact that I was actually awake. I started to feel uncomfortable and looked over at Ashley and then Stefan and then back to Ashley who eyes were welling up. I gave him an awkward look and frowned a little as I looked back over to Stefan who suddenly leap up out of his chair and sprinted out of the room; leaving me with Ashley who soon snapped out of his concentrative state and slowly walked towards me, tucking his arms around my body, holding me and not letting go.
Eventually, he unhooked himself from me and cupped my head in his hands, tears streaming down his face; “You remember me right? Please tell me you know who I am!” Ashley pleaded. I just looked at him sympathetic eyes and nodded which sent Ash into a sobbing state and he returned to his original position and began holding me again. He soon calmed down and I pulled away from his grip, although he released me from his squeeze he soon grasped my hands and didn’t let go, leaning in and laying a long awaited kiss on my lips.
I didn’t attempt to talk, I could already feel how swollen my throat was and the throbbing pain pulsating through it, trying to talk would have been a wasted effort. Therefore, I shuffled over on the bed and without giving Ash an option, pulled him onto the bed to lye next to me. We both lay there on our sides, facing one another, Ash stroking my cheek with his fingers softly, soon brushing his fingers through the back of my hair and kissing me passionately. He soon relaxed and rested his forehead on mine; “Don’t even leave me again, okay? Just don’t ever do that again” Ashley begged. I was unsure of what he was talking about as nobody had explained why I was even here, but I was content being with Ash at this moment, and if there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I never wanted to leave him and so I strained to pull him closer with my aching arms and kissed him softly on the end of his nose, and smiled, making him smile back subtly.
I was incredibly confused and in a lot of pain, but like many a time before, being with Ashley made it all okay. Soon, Ashley sat up and wipes his face down with his hands, turning to me after and smiling slightly before jumping up and sitting on a chair placed next to the bed, resting his arms on the side of the bed and holding my hand. “You tired?” He asked. I shacked my head; “Hungry?” He asked again, “How about a drink? You want a drink?” Ashley said before I could even answer. I was tired and hungry and my throat was incredibly dry, but I wasn’t going to send Ashley out of his way, especially when he was the only thing keeping me from panicking right now, he needed to stay with me. I squeezed his hand to stop him worrying and he soon relaxed, but not for long; the door suddenly flew open to reveal Stefan stood there, still in shock. I sat up, letting go of Ashley’s hand, Stefan charged towards the bed and took me in his arms, compressing my body tighter than ever before. Stefan eventually let go and smiled at Ashley who was still looking a little upset; “The doctor is on his way” Stefan said to Ashley who nodded. “You should go get some coffee or something, Ash. I’ll keep an eye on her” Stefan said, speaking as though I wasn’t even there. Ashley didn’t say anything, just kissed my forehead and walked out of the door, leaving Stefan to take Ash’s position in the chair.
“You feeling okay?” Stefan smiled, holding back small tears. I nodded and smiled at him, still sat up. “Liv… You remember everything right?” Stefan asked. I knew I didn’t, but Stef and Ash had cleared everything up when talking about the whole marriage dilemma, but they didn’t know that I had forgotten… so I simply nodded and pretended like I remember Ashley’s proposal.

Part 29
“Thank god” Stefan said in relief, me still baffled and shocked that Ashley had performed the grandest of gestures. I smiled awkwardly but before Stefan could say anything else the doctor walked in, I took a deep breath and awaited a depressing description of fucked up body. Stefan went pale as the doctor walked around the bed, staring at his clip board; he stopped momentarily next to my bed, leaving me and Stefan looking at him. Stefan soon placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder and then the doctor lifted his head with a fake smile; “Morning Mrs Rose, good to see you’re awake” began the doctor as he shone a light in my eyes. “How are you feeling today? I’m guessing you’re struggling to talk right?” He continued writing more on his clipboard. I nodded turning and looking up at a worried Stefan. The doctor soon sat on a tall stool and pulled himself closer towards me, looking into my eyes sympathetically. “You had a brain bleed, and a big as well. You were having head aches and nose bleeds right?” he asked. It took me a moment to come to terms with the fact that I had been bleeding from my brain… but I soon dragged myself back to earth and nodded slowly, awaiting more information. “The bleed was continuous but very slow” The doctor hesitated for a second; “I noticed you had been admitted here a few weeks ago with a head injury, we believe that was the cause” the doctor explained.
I was not only upset and shocked, but angry. If them stupid boys hadn’t have been fighting, I wouldn’t be here right now. In fact, I would be reminiscing about the awesome gig that me and boys had played at Leeds. I looked up at Stefan who was staring down at me with empathy in his eyes. He looked so upset, filled with sorrow. He opened his mouth but no words came out, he looked lost, and with his hand still resting on my shoulder he leant forward and kissed my forehead, apologetically.
I turned back to the doctor, my head a violent whirl pool of emotion. “We managed to get the bleed in time and drained it without a problem. However, there is more…” The doctor paused for a moment and took a deep breath, as did I. “This is very personal, Olive. You may want your friend to leave” he said, sounding worried, but the last thing I want right now was to be alone. Stefan attempted to walk out but I grabbed him and pulled him close, breathing heavily in a panic state. Stefan wrapped his arm around me and calmed me, soon looking into my eyes; “Everything is okay… Shh” He said, shifting his eyes to look at the doctor. “Right? She’s okay, right?” he said, raising his voice slightly. “Yes, yes!” Said the doctor. Stefan stood; “Well? What is it then?” Stefan shouted.
I tugged at Stefan’s clothing to calm him and he returned to holding me, tight. He was worried. I was worried. The doctor was incredibly worried. Stef raised his eyebrows insisting the doctor to continue. The doctor took a deep breath again; “Look, Olive, Its protocol to do a full external and internal check when someone is admitted unconscious, and there were certain aspects that we found on your internal scan” The doctor paused and I sat up, gawking at him with wide eyes, prompting him to tell me.
“Mrs Rose…” the doctor said; “You’re scan shows… Well, you’re pregnant”


Part 30
Instantly, I leant over the side of my bed, pushing Stef out of the way and threw up the remaining contents of my stomach. This was not information I was going to take lightly. I looked up at the doctor whilst relaxing into my bed, and breathing heavily. “I’m guessing this wasn’t planned” said the doctor. I frowned sharply and threw dagger eyes at him; I was not in the mood for light hearted assumptions. This was going to take a while to sink in; “I’ll leave you alone for a moment” the doctor said sympathetically, getting up off his stool and leaving. As soon as he shut the door, I tried to scream with anger, but all that seemed to come out of my mouth was a tiny, high pitched cry. How was this even possible? I thought to myself. I was quite rightly using the pill when I slept with… Oh shit. Who’s the father?
I quickly glanced at Stefan who was paralysed in an upright position on the floor, hyperventilating with his eyes locked firmly on the edge of the bed. I stared at him for a moment, unsure as what to do, mouth wide open in shock. I was hopeless, for once I wasn’t able to do anything to help, I needed someone to take care of me, and for the first time I was able to admit it. Stefan soon calmed and stood up, he walked over to me and lowered himself to my level; “You definitely had sex with Ashley?” He asked. I stared for a moment, disgusted at the question, but nodded hoping it would help. Stefan brought his hands to his face and turned away sobbing, eventually composing himself and turning to me again, looking into my eyes and holing my face; “I promise, you will not go through this alone. I am here for you, every single step of the way… whatever you decide to do” his eyes filled with tears. I just sat, mouth open, shaking my head slightly without taking my eyes away from Stefan’s.
There was no way in hell I was keeping this baby, but then I remembered, it could be Ashley’s… and he didn’t know. Ironically, Ashley entered the room with a calming smile on his face, which was until he noticed how distressed both me and Stefan were. He bounded towards me holding me in his arms; I wrapped myself around him, feeling safe. He didn’t let go but I heard Stefan exit the room, whether Ashley did was a mystery; “Are you okay?” Ashley asked as he pulled back a little, inspecting my face to check I was alright. I wanted to tell him ‘yes’ and lie, but I couldn’t, I shook my head and began sobbing. Ashley didn’t know how to react, I had never looked or felt so vulnerable in my life, and Ash and I both knew he was the only one who could make that better.
“What’s happened, babe?” He asked softly, still a little shocked at my reaction. I didn’t respond, just sat and cried. Ashley scooped my head into his hands and forced me to look at him; “Olive… Olive! Look at me. No matter what it is, I love you, okay? That’s never going to change. So, take a breath and talk to me, please!” Ashley begged, and again, for the first time, I didn’t feel restricted, or scared, I felt like I could tell Ash anything and he would judge me or leave me. Therefore, I looked at him for a moment, turning off the water works; I pulled him in close, closer than ever before, and whispered/crocked an explanation… just as the doctor did.

Part 31
My voice was tight and jaggered, so the explanation was brief, however, despite this Ash didn’t need to think twice before slowly moving away, releasing me in disgust as he did so. “Who’s is it?” Ashley snapped with an angry tone. I tried to speak but no words came out of my mouth, so I looked down and shrugged making Ash tip over the edge. “I swear I’m going to fucking kill Stef! I fucking hate his guts!” Ashley raged as he paced the room. “This is the last time that so called fucking friend messes with my head and with my girl!” He said, lowering his tone slightly. I kept my eyes firmly on the ground so I didn’t have to watch Ashley’s break down. Suddenly he turned to me; “You aren’t keeping it if it’s his, you know that right?” Ashley practically demanded at me. I couldn’t keep my eyes away any longer; I looked up at him in shock. I hadn’t even thought about keeping it, but if I had surly it wasn’t Ashley’s decision. I frowned at him and didn’t answer. He began laughing; “You’re joking right?” I just looked at him, not edging my serious face one bit. I wasn’t going to give him the impression that he could demand me around; but Ashley wasn’t having any of that. Calmly, he shook his head and walked out the room, slamming the door on the way out, leaving me on my own in silence to dwell on everything, alone.
A few hours later, the doctor that had effectively ruined my relationship with both Stef and Ash, retuned. He walked in slowly, smiling awkwardly and sitting down. My eyes followed him as he walked around the room to his chair. I had had some time to think, and I knew what I had to do; “Are you ready to talk now, Miss Rose?” Said the doctor. I nodded, taking a breath ready to reveal my decision, but before I could being talking, the doctor changed everything; “Do you want to find out how far along you are?” What?! He’s saying this now! I had just spent hours contemplating whether to end a child’s right to live or not and now he’s enticing me with this. Then something clicked in my mind, I’ll be able to find out who the father is…
I looked at the doctor quickly with wide eyes and before I even thought about it properly I was nodding and the doctor was handing me a pot, giving me instructions that in human terms meant ‘go pee-in that’.
The doctor told me to take my time and that when I had finished, I just needed to call for a nurse and wait a few hours for the results. After he had left, I sat with the pot in my lap, contemplating what to do. I was too nervous to pee and there was always the possibility that it could be Stefan’s. Then what? What would that mean for me and Ash? Suddenly, the door opened again. It was Jordan’s friend; Hayley. Jordan hadn’t even visited yet, what was she doing here? She glided across the room smiling at me as she stopped by the side of my bed, looking at the pot and then back at me. I didn’t even need to explain to her now, she already knew. “You nervous?” She said. I looked at her and nodded shamefully. “You want some help?” she continued to ask softly, I shook my head, lying to her. “You sure?” she nagged. I looked up at her, knowing she was only trying to help, and she was probably the only help I was going to get… So; “I need help” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. She helped me, pulling off the bed covers and dragging my legs around to the edge of the bed so they were dangling off. My legs were numb; Hayley took my hands and pulled my upright, tucking her arm under mine so I didn’t fall, and walking me slowly to the on suite bathroom, facing the bottom of the bed.
She placed me lightly on the toilet seat and I was able to sort myself out from there. She turned her back but didn’t leave the room, I was confused but I think she was just ensuring I was safe. I got comfortable and placed the pot in the correct position, and waited. “You know, I had an abortion once” Hayley said, shocking me a little that she would tell me this. Strangely, it wasn’t awkward or weird, considering the position I was in, I felt rather comfortable talking to her. “I’ll never forgive myself for that” she said with a sorrowful tone. She was like a mind reader. She turned to make sure I was okay, and I gave her a comforting smile, she smiled back and turned away. I finished up and screwed the lid onto the pot, placing it into a little bag and handing it to Hayley. I cleaned myself up, washing my hands with Hayley holding me upright. She took me back to my bed and smiled sweetly, soon leaving to hand the pot of pee to the doctors. I smiled at the thought.
I sat there for a good hour with my legs dangling off the bed and so I took the opportunity to gain control of my legs again. Me, being confident, cocky person I am, jumped off the bed thinking I would be able to walk right away but fell straight to the floor. I sat there for a moment before hearing mumbling outside, and so I dragged myself to the door and placed my ear up against it; “She needs you more than ever now. You really need to go in there and help her, She can’t do this alone” I heard Hayley’s muffled voice say from the other side of the door, probably speaking to Jordan. However, the reply was not Jordan; it was Ashley, Oh I couldn’t wait to hear this witty response. “I love her with all my heart, Hayley, and you don’t understand how much I want to be there for her, but what if it isn’t mine? What if it turns out that it is Stefan’s and she doesn’t want me anymore? And she wants to keep it? I couldn’t bare that…I couldn’t-” I could hear Ashley’s voice croaking as he tried to hold back the tears. “Well then you are a fool. You clearly don’t understand how besotted that girl is by you and what if the baby is yours? Don’t throw that away, Ash. You’d be an idiot if you did” Hayley’s voice was stern. Jordan was lucky. I could hear Hayley walking away as Ashley’s footsteps got closer to the door. I quickly scrambled away from the door, but it was too late; “Liv? Wha-What are you doing on the floor?” Ashley said softly as he picked me up, holding me against his chest. “Yo-you’re not mad?” I whispered. Ashley smiled and shook his head, placing a kiss on my forehead which was soon interrupted by the doctor walking in. We both looked at the doctor; “Are you ready?” he asked quietly. I looked up at Ash who was still holding me, and then back at the doctor, my body shaking as I nodded.

Part 32
Ashley sat me on the side of the bed and placed himself next to me, wrapping his arm around my back, gripping onto my waist. The doctor was holding a piece of paper which was about to determine my inevitable future. I mean, either way, I was pregnant… That was enough to send me over the edge, but having to find out who the dad is… Wow… My mother would be so proud. I thought, sarcastically to myself.
The doctor was reading the paper for a while before he sat down on the chair in front of me and Ash. It was so intimidating, like a job interview. Knowing that the fate of my future relationships, jobs, finances and social life sat in the hands of this strange man in a white coat was a horrific thought. I mean, If it was Ashley’s then everyone would probably be happy enough, We would have stable careers with an easy on the road relationship, good finances and our friends would be there to help out, plus, I would expect we would… get married? On the other hand, if it was Stefan’s, Ashley would not stay with me, no doubt about it therefore would probably fall out with Stefan resulting in the execution of The Midnight Beast and therefore decreasing our financial state. There would be no way I could support a child with my career without Stefan being on the road with me and it would be an unlikely suggestion as I doubt Jordan and the other two would be on good terms with either of us. I think I know which one I’d choose.
The doctor looked up and both of us and then back at the paper; “You’re sure you want to do this?” he asked. Ashley nodded looking worried. I was still unsure, now it had come to it; I wasn’t sure whether it was the best idea to find out. It would cause so much arguing and I could not be bothered with that anymore. “Miss Rose?” the doctor interrupted my train of thought. I just looked at him and nodded slightly. “Okay, well…” The doctor continued. I looked up at Ashley and suddenly my whole world stopped around me. I just looked up at this young man, and how much he had been through, all for me. He deserved the best of thing, and this was not what was best for him. “STOP!” I shouted a little surprised that my voice had returned. The doctor and Ashley looked at me with worried eyes. “Liv?” said Ash looking down at me confused. “We don’t need to know” I began. “After everything me and you have been through, Ashley, does it really matter who’s the father?” I said taking his hand and holding it to my stomach; “You are the most important person that has ever walked into my life, that will never change, but the way I see it is that we’ve been given an opportunity. Now, you can walk away if you like, but this little person, inside of me… I’m trying to ask you to… Ashley, be the father to our baby?!” I proposed to Ashley, my head a tsunami of emotion. Ashley was looked at me, wide mouthed and teary eyed. He slowly moved his eyes to look at his hand placed on my stomach, and then back up at me, as if he was contemplating. Soon he sniffled and took me in his arms; “I love you” he whispered. The doctor left the room, clear on our decision about everything now.
Well, it was official… Me and Ashley… Having a…baby. Fuck.

Part 33
I didn’t remember much else about that day, it was a blur after me and Ashley had subtly confirmed our future. I woke up the next morning to find myself alone in the hospital room that I was all too familiar with now. I was ready to leave and play the last gig, no doctor was going to tell me that I couldn’t go to the last gig of the tour, we had already missed 5-6 shows already and most of it was down to the stupid ‘fuckery’ that was me, Stef and Ash. I felt much better now that I wasn’t having headaches, but I was still craving Marmite terribly, which was odd as the thought of Marmite use to make me heave and now I felt like I could eat it every day! This baby really liked Marmite. Jeez.
I was awake merely 5 minutes before Stefan came plodding into the room, slumping onto the chair beside my bed and letting out a humongous yawn; “Late night?” I joked. Stefan looked up and me and smiled tiredly. I giggled. “I heard about you and Ashley” Stefan said. Suddenly, everything went cold and I was numb all over. I prepared myself for the inevitable loss of Stefan for good; “I’m happy for you” He said with a sentimental tone. I looked at him, wide eyed in shock. I probably shouldn’t have been so surprised, I mean, Stefan had always stood by my side. “Don’t look so shocked” Stefan said with a laugh. “You- You’re not mad?” I said softly. “What? No! Of course not. I’m glad. Effectively, you saved mine and Ash’s friendship… I can’t thank you enough for that” He said with a heart-warming smile. “I still mean what I said though. I am always going to be here for you and Ash and most of all, the baby. I mean, there’s still a possibility that… Well, you know” I just smiled at his gentlemanly ways and closed my eyes for a second as he stood and kissed me on my cheek.
“You hungry?” He asked breaking the tension. I nodded. “Toast?”, He asked getting ready to walk out the room to collect my order; “Something with Marmite on” I said with a very unladylike tone, looking up at Stefan with embarrassment after realising. “Marmite? Ugh, that’s disgusting” He said as he walked out of the room. It hit me instantly. I knew exactly who the father was! I didn’t need no fucking test to tell me, it was so obvious now! Holy shit!

Part 34
I sat shuffling in my bed with anticipation. I had to tell him! I was certain of who it was now, I mean, gosh, how could I not have thought about it sooner. I wanted to jump out of my bed and run to find him, but I knew there was no way I was going to be getting from my bed with the use of my legs any time soon, which made me realise how long I must have been in a coma for. However, that didn’t matter anymore. After a while, I calmed down knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to induce the event of ‘telling the father’ any sooner than it was supposed to happen. Thankfully, some familiar faces entered the room to distract me. It was Jordan, Dylan and Mike, all rambling into the room all loud and boisterous, scrabbling onto the bed and hugging me until I could feel my heartbeat in my eyes. They soon settled and we all calmed our uncontrollable giggling. I sighed with happiness. “Been updated on the gossip then?” I asked them. All three of them simultaneously smiled and began laughing and hugging me again. I take that as a yes. “Your kid is going to be an absolute rock star, Liv” said Mike. “Yeah, especially with Uncles like us!” winked Jordan jokingly. I shook my head and laughed at them. I hadn’t been this happy in a while. “Doctor said you’re here for another week?” Dylan said sadly. “What?” I exclaimed; “But the final gig… It’s tomorrow!” I said angrily. “So unfair” I mumbled, slumping onto the back of my bed that was at an incline, allowing me to sit up slightly, arms crossed. “We could always sneak you out?” suggested Jordan. I looked at him with a massive grin, and sat up; “Come on then!” I exclaimed quietly. The boys perked up and Mike pulled my legs around so they were dangling off the edge of the bed. Suddenly the door opened and Ashley entered; “What the fuck?” He whispered. He quickly shut the door and began whispering loudly; “What are you doing?” he said with a serious face. “Getting out of here! What do you think?” I replied, the other three boys standing back, as if they were intimidated by Ashley. Pfft.
I looked at each of my boys as they left the room, shamefully and then back at Ashley who was leaning over in front of me. “The last gig is tomorrow, Ash. I don’t want to miss it” I said finding the saddest face I could and amplifying it to him. Ash looked back at me with sad eyes; “Sorry babe,” he began, sitting beside me, “Can’t risk you getting hurt anymore” he said placing his hand on my stomach. It was comforting knowing that Ashley was taking responsibility. I smiled at him and quickly kissed him on the lips, letting it soon turn into a slow, passionate kiss. I sat back on the bed and leaned back, pulling Ash on top of me. He began trailing kisses up my neck, along my jaw and eventually on my lips again. He stopped for a moment and smiled at me, his beautiful glistening eyes hypnotising me, he placed one last kiss on my lips before; “Ash… Do you like Marmite?” I questioned, ruining the entire, romantic atmosphere. “Um… What?” He said with an awkward giggle. “Marmite. Do you like it?” I asked, Ash still towering above me. Ashley laughed again, “Yeah, of course I do. It’s like one of the best tasting things ever” He smiled, my eyes widened and I waited for a moment… “I could eat it every day” he said. The sentence echoed in my head… I sat up quickly, pushing Ash off me. “OH GOD!” I squealed, panting and smiling at the same time. “What?” Ashley said, jumping up looking a little worried. “It’s you, Ashley!” I exclaimed. He looked puzzled. “You’re the father!” I said. Ashley’s eyes and mouth widened and he looked more confused. And then, I saw the realisation hit Ash; “Stefan-hates…Oh my god!” Ashley exclaimed leaping towards me and lifting me in his arms, spinning round with excitement! He soon lowered me and kissed me continuously until he felt the need to stop; “We… we’re having a baby” Ashley said, trying to reassure himself that this was reality. I nodded and he amplified the biggest grin on his face, he was like a little girl getting excited over something mediocre. Except, he was an adult now… Second though, he was a dad now, and this was a very big deal.
Ashley held me in his arms for ages before realising me and setting back on the bed, wiping his face of any unwanted tears. “Ash, there is something I wanted to ask…” I said, knowing I had been keeping this from him and everyone since I had woke up. “Did… did you ask me to marry you?” I said with a guilt filled look on my face. “Liv, I- It was…” Ashley was speechless. “I’m so sorry I don’t remember” I said, tears filling my eyes. Ashley sped to my side and cupped my face in his hands; “No, no, no! Don’t be silly. It’s not your fault!” Ashley reassured me. I began sobbing uncontrollably, I was an emotional wreck. “What? No, don’t cry. Olive! Why are you- Stop! Please?” Ashley lifted my head and wiped the tears from my face. I couldn’t believe someone actually cared enough to propose to me. Someone genuinely loved me and wanted to be with me so much to ask me to be there wife; “You want to marry me?” I said, letting out little sobs of joy. Ashley let out a little breathy laugh; “Of course I do, Olive. I love you. I love us!” Ashley whispered leaning down and kissing me on my stomach and up to my face and kissing my lips. Ashley reached round to his back pocket and revealed the same ring he had proposed to me with the first time, and that was it… it all came rushing back. The stage, the crowed, the speech, everything! I looked at the ring, then back up at Ashley and smiled wider than ever before. “I love you… Olivia Rose Horne” He said with a charming grin as he put the ring on my finger and pulled me back off the bed, holding me against his body and kissed me, giving me all the same emotions that I got the first time we kissed, and from that moment I knew it was Ashley, it had always been Ashley.
Ashley soon released me from his mesmerising kiss; “Let’s get out of here” he whispered. I nodded. Ashley helped me quickly walk out the door to reveal Jordan, Mike and Dylan (Jordan holding a wheelchair) “You’re ride?” Jordan asked jokingly. Ashley sat me in the wheelchair and lent down and whispered in my ear; “You’re going to want to hold on”. All of a sudden Jordan was running down the corridors with me at his hand, with Dylan, Mike and Ashley running beside him. We span round corners and down inclines for actual wheelchair uses, whizzed around the hospital trying to find some elevators, closely followed by doctors and security guards that had seen our reckless act of freedom! We were all laughing and shouting loud enough for the whole hospital to hear us. Jordan soon came to a sharp holt at some elevators, Ashley and Mike frantically pressing the buttons for the doors to open, as the doctors were catching up fast. The elevators soon opened and we rushed into it, hearing the muffled sounds of doctors and security guards shouting for us to stop. They caught up to us just as the doors were completely closing, giving enough time for Dylan to stick his middle finger up at them and laugh demonically at them. We all stood/sat in the elevator laughing and catching our breath. The adrenaline was immense. “I think that’s the most rock and roll thing us guys have done since being on tour” Dylan said, trying to steady his breathing. “Yeah, running riot through a hospital with a pregnant chick sat in a wheelchair. Don’t get better than that” Ashley said, smiling down at me. The doors soon bleeped and opened as we all charged out making rowdy, loud noises, shouting and laughing as we bounded towards the exit.
We thundered towards the exit and I couldn’t help but think ‘freedom’ to myself as soon as we got through the glass doors. As we ran away from the hospital, Jordan quickly came to a stop and Ashley picked me up in the marital position abandoning the wheelchair and continuing to run with me in his arms, soon revealing Stefan and Dru in a small white van, Stefan piping the horn and laughing as he saw us getting closer. I looked back to find 3-4 doctors, plus several security guards stood at the exit of the hospital shrugging and looking rather pissed off, but that was the least of my worries, in fact, at that point in time I had no worries what so ever. Everyone was happy, everyone was getting along, everything was going perfectly. As we approached the van, Dylan slid the door open allowing Mike and Jordan to jump in followed by Dylan, Stefan still bobbing up and down with excitement as he pushed the passenger door open still sat in the driver’s seat, leaving Ash to place me softly on the passenger seat and buckling my seat belt for me. He quickly smiled and kissed my nose, shutting the door and climbing into the back as Stefan began to drive. “I like your bling” Dru said with a wink, smiling happier than ever before. Ashley shut the door and I turned my head to look at Stefan who was smiling like crazy, I then looked back to see all three of my boys: Jordan, Mike and Dylan smiling and laughing, and finally at Ashley who was already looking at me… smiling sweetly. And that was it.
We rode off, into the distance, ready to finish the tour, all eight of us.