Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
"No don't!" it was a spear on my heart, a shoot without a count; your scream was my dear. "No! no!" you yelled in pain, burying your quiet long finger nails into my weak biceps, making it bleed but I could be careless, you must be even more hurter than me. "Why? Why?" you were still deep in your sleep, still deep in the pain, still drowning over the pain. I couldn't help you kill the dark my love, but I couldn't see you break in tears either. I have no heart for it.
"Brendon…" I whispered softly to your ear, trying to help you away from your suffocating dreams, I wanted to save you. "There must be a reason… there must be a reason…" I said calmly, pushing his weak body to me so he could cuddle in my even weaker body. Without you knowing I knew what you're dreaming, without you saying I knew what I should say to you, it's an education I don't get from school, I learn it from heart.
Sobbing, you were awake, clenching a fist against my chest, tears couldn't stop and your body was shivering, oddly… you were in sweat. You must be dreaming of your parents' death, dreaming the darkest shine of reality you had in mind, dreaming of the only reality you would want to haunt you. The fire the crash and everything, I know you couldn't handle it.
"R-ry-ryan…" you sobbed my name, stuttering over it so cutely. If you weren't that broken I could already fulfill your wish. Your wish my dear, your wish. "N-no…" you buried your wet face into my chest and starts to cry hysterically under your conscious. You left out a few moan of pain along with my heartbeat. You panted harshly as you took my oxygen away with yours too; you left my lung dry and empty. Every pain that strikes you in your soul was shared with me, with my needing soul.
"Shh… Brendon… I'm here, I'm here…" I tried to convince him while transferring any kind of relaxation or calm wave he might need. I was watching the person once who always begged me even was pleading to be his boyfriend now broken could do nothing but hold my tears back, he was drowned in an unreadable paranoid. I was a fool to not love you when you were happy, when you could smile, when you could love. The painful dreams he got must have kidnapped him away from my sight, taken that goofy bright smile when he asked me to go out on a date or just simply observing me, it also taken the cute puffed cheek with a slight pout on his face and the eyes that show the slightest disappointment when I say no to him, when I reject him with the most selfish reason ever… saying I wasn't ready to be gay yet… which now was sounded very stupid even to my ear.
But now, if I was asked to believe, I believe none of my words that I ever say to him. Now, he more likely to come back home to our small shared flat and sleep straight till the moment we actually need to do something together or he basically need to go out and work. I couldn't remember when it started, perhaps it was last year, right on this day, ever since… he always shut his eyes tight and wake up in the same threat, horror and sweat. I knew he must be badly wounded and there was nothing I got to cure that wound and stop the bleeding away.
Watching him back to the peaceful sleep, I realized how his long pretty eye-lashed jointed to one another as his eyelids were shut and seemed to not going to open in any time soon. His rather kissable lips were slightly open in the most innocent way as he sleep and out of reach. His chest was rising up and down slowly in patch and it emits cute whimper that I could not help but smile over. It was very painful for me to notice that I fell in love with him like this, when I supposed to already be his lover that going to lick all the blood away and kiss all the pain away from his weak body. Every thought I had always got me in deep surprise, a rather enjoyable one though. I've never knew how much I craved to see that warm chocolate eyes that melts over when I stare back straight or spoilt my sinful thought by it sweetness. I have never noticed of how much I wanted to hear that soft voice that he emits from his perfect dam throat that breathed over my name and called me George every time I made him mad, sad or just in the mood to tease me. I want his fingers to trail over my neck to my jaw, dancing softly and carefully like doing Ballet, slash tutu.
"Ry… Ryan…" you at last opens your eyes with a few crystal clear waters escaping your big eyes. I caressed your face and kissed one every droplet that you let out, locking it into my lips and let it dissolved in my hungry stomach, hungry for you.
I embraced him and hugged him firmly on the waist, trying to share him a secure feeling that he might needed. He buried his face deep in my chest and I could feel his exhausted breathing, "Yes Brenny… I'm here… I'm here…" I tried to comfort him by kissing the top of his head, feeling his hair tickling my nose while trying to lock the pain for my own in my limb.
He looked up to me, hands forming weak fists with eyes targeted to mine shooting straight without a slight fail. That chocolate sweet eyes oh my soul got relaxed up already, I swear I'd drown forever watching those beautifully pleasing sight of the beautiful orbs. His attempting lips moved slowly in a very delicate way, simply breathing over without making any noise. He shrugged back from me, sat up violently and yanks his wet black t-shirt off his sticky body, showing off his pale bare chest to me and I couldn't help but let my lung dried off once again.
He plop back to the bed, his orbs were blurry with tears he took my bleeding hands carefully, watching the deep scar he put me on and touched it softly, "Ouch…" I whined, I couldn't help it but I'm sure it was low enough; I don't want him to hear it.
You started to tear up again, this one in perfect silent and I didn't mind to bother by asking you why, I enjoyed your tears dropping to my scars, kind of painful but I liked it. I trailed my other hand fingers on your trembling face carefully. I realized clearly on how you were biting your lower lips to stop your tears from dropping and landed to my scars with me having no help but wince over it. I caress your chin softly, trying to give you the softest look I could make, showing no clue of pain or misery, I don't want you to
worry.
You shook your head softly over my fingers, mumbling something I couldn't quite short of. "The death-scene again?" I asked and you nodded.
"But there was more…" you said in a soft too quiet whisper that just made me became an anemic.
His lips start to bleed, pouring the fresh red velvety liquid slowly from the edge of his lips. I gulped my saliva, trying to shove away my need of tasting his blood as we were still caught in the angsty sensation of his nightmare but for any heaven's sake the blood looked like some teasing cherry syrup getting off from his mouth waiting for me to slurp it off and collide with his dirty tongue. "It was you…" he said weakly while looking at me. He didn't make any effort of cleaning the blood away, he even bitten his lips which I guess even harder and made the blood come pouring even more. "Don't go…" he pull the edge of my sleeve with tears dropping and blood rolling, he send me flying to the 7th heaven.
I smiled softly to him, "hey…" I caressed his hair and sat up. "You know what day is today?" I asked softly and he nods.
"My birthday…"
I smiled I didn't know what else to say. I licked the blood off from his chin up until I found the edge of his mouth and he, welcomed my tongue easily. We broke apart as soon as I cleanse the blood in his mouth and we both smiled, "Well then… happy birthday my boyfriend."
"Brendon…" I whispered softly to your ear, trying to help you away from your suffocating dreams, I wanted to save you. "There must be a reason… there must be a reason…" I said calmly, pushing his weak body to me so he could cuddle in my even weaker body. Without you knowing I knew what you're dreaming, without you saying I knew what I should say to you, it's an education I don't get from school, I learn it from heart.
Sobbing, you were awake, clenching a fist against my chest, tears couldn't stop and your body was shivering, oddly… you were in sweat. You must be dreaming of your parents' death, dreaming the darkest shine of reality you had in mind, dreaming of the only reality you would want to haunt you. The fire the crash and everything, I know you couldn't handle it.
"R-ry-ryan…" you sobbed my name, stuttering over it so cutely. If you weren't that broken I could already fulfill your wish. Your wish my dear, your wish. "N-no…" you buried your wet face into my chest and starts to cry hysterically under your conscious. You left out a few moan of pain along with my heartbeat. You panted harshly as you took my oxygen away with yours too; you left my lung dry and empty. Every pain that strikes you in your soul was shared with me, with my needing soul.
"Shh… Brendon… I'm here, I'm here…" I tried to convince him while transferring any kind of relaxation or calm wave he might need. I was watching the person once who always begged me even was pleading to be his boyfriend now broken could do nothing but hold my tears back, he was drowned in an unreadable paranoid. I was a fool to not love you when you were happy, when you could smile, when you could love. The painful dreams he got must have kidnapped him away from my sight, taken that goofy bright smile when he asked me to go out on a date or just simply observing me, it also taken the cute puffed cheek with a slight pout on his face and the eyes that show the slightest disappointment when I say no to him, when I reject him with the most selfish reason ever… saying I wasn't ready to be gay yet… which now was sounded very stupid even to my ear.
But now, if I was asked to believe, I believe none of my words that I ever say to him. Now, he more likely to come back home to our small shared flat and sleep straight till the moment we actually need to do something together or he basically need to go out and work. I couldn't remember when it started, perhaps it was last year, right on this day, ever since… he always shut his eyes tight and wake up in the same threat, horror and sweat. I knew he must be badly wounded and there was nothing I got to cure that wound and stop the bleeding away.
Watching him back to the peaceful sleep, I realized how his long pretty eye-lashed jointed to one another as his eyelids were shut and seemed to not going to open in any time soon. His rather kissable lips were slightly open in the most innocent way as he sleep and out of reach. His chest was rising up and down slowly in patch and it emits cute whimper that I could not help but smile over. It was very painful for me to notice that I fell in love with him like this, when I supposed to already be his lover that going to lick all the blood away and kiss all the pain away from his weak body. Every thought I had always got me in deep surprise, a rather enjoyable one though. I've never knew how much I craved to see that warm chocolate eyes that melts over when I stare back straight or spoilt my sinful thought by it sweetness. I have never noticed of how much I wanted to hear that soft voice that he emits from his perfect dam throat that breathed over my name and called me George every time I made him mad, sad or just in the mood to tease me. I want his fingers to trail over my neck to my jaw, dancing softly and carefully like doing Ballet, slash tutu.
"Ry… Ryan…" you at last opens your eyes with a few crystal clear waters escaping your big eyes. I caressed your face and kissed one every droplet that you let out, locking it into my lips and let it dissolved in my hungry stomach, hungry for you.
I embraced him and hugged him firmly on the waist, trying to share him a secure feeling that he might needed. He buried his face deep in my chest and I could feel his exhausted breathing, "Yes Brenny… I'm here… I'm here…" I tried to comfort him by kissing the top of his head, feeling his hair tickling my nose while trying to lock the pain for my own in my limb.
He looked up to me, hands forming weak fists with eyes targeted to mine shooting straight without a slight fail. That chocolate sweet eyes oh my soul got relaxed up already, I swear I'd drown forever watching those beautifully pleasing sight of the beautiful orbs. His attempting lips moved slowly in a very delicate way, simply breathing over without making any noise. He shrugged back from me, sat up violently and yanks his wet black t-shirt off his sticky body, showing off his pale bare chest to me and I couldn't help but let my lung dried off once again.
He plop back to the bed, his orbs were blurry with tears he took my bleeding hands carefully, watching the deep scar he put me on and touched it softly, "Ouch…" I whined, I couldn't help it but I'm sure it was low enough; I don't want him to hear it.
You started to tear up again, this one in perfect silent and I didn't mind to bother by asking you why, I enjoyed your tears dropping to my scars, kind of painful but I liked it. I trailed my other hand fingers on your trembling face carefully. I realized clearly on how you were biting your lower lips to stop your tears from dropping and landed to my scars with me having no help but wince over it. I caress your chin softly, trying to give you the softest look I could make, showing no clue of pain or misery, I don't want you to
worry.
You shook your head softly over my fingers, mumbling something I couldn't quite short of. "The death-scene again?" I asked and you nodded.
"But there was more…" you said in a soft too quiet whisper that just made me became an anemic.
His lips start to bleed, pouring the fresh red velvety liquid slowly from the edge of his lips. I gulped my saliva, trying to shove away my need of tasting his blood as we were still caught in the angsty sensation of his nightmare but for any heaven's sake the blood looked like some teasing cherry syrup getting off from his mouth waiting for me to slurp it off and collide with his dirty tongue. "It was you…" he said weakly while looking at me. He didn't make any effort of cleaning the blood away, he even bitten his lips which I guess even harder and made the blood come pouring even more. "Don't go…" he pull the edge of my sleeve with tears dropping and blood rolling, he send me flying to the 7th heaven.
I smiled softly to him, "hey…" I caressed his hair and sat up. "You know what day is today?" I asked softly and he nods.
"My birthday…"
I smiled I didn't know what else to say. I licked the blood off from his chin up until I found the edge of his mouth and he, welcomed my tongue easily. We broke apart as soon as I cleanse the blood in his mouth and we both smiled, "Well then… happy birthday my boyfriend."
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