FicWad

I sat silently on the couch, studying my hands. They were so small compared to my brother’s. He was so much bigger than me. It was late, I wasn’t supposed to be up this late. I’d stayed up with my brother and his friends, hoping they’d let me join them. No one objected so I stayed. I felt someone sit next to me but I didn’t look up.

“Do you want to play a game?” came the whisper from my brother’s friend Anthony.

I looked up and took in his appearance. He looked off somehow. His brown hair was messed up, his blue eyes were slightly red, and he swayed a little. “Sure,” I said and smiled.

He took me by the hand and led me down the hall to my brother’s room, closing the door behind us. “Lay down on the bed,” he instructed me.

I did as he asked and looked around the room. I loved being in my brother’s room, it was such a comfort to me. I loved the posters he had covering the walls. It was the symbol of him being a teenager while I was still a little girl, only ten. I couldn’t wait to grow up to be like my brother.

“Close your eyes,” Anthony said. “I’m going to turn off the lights.” Again, I did as I was told. I felt the bed sink next to me and smelled Anthony’s breath on my face. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. It smelled awful!

I felt something warm against my cheek. Were those his lips? He kissed me again but on the neck this time. His face tickled and I didn’t like it. I tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let me. “This is part of the game,” he whispered. His lips covered mine and he shoved his tongue in my mouth. This wasn’t how my daddy kissed me, I didn’t like it.

Anthony started to take off my shirt and I struggled against him. “No!” I cried out but he only shushed me.

“We don’t want to wake anyone up, now,” he said calmly. I looked at him with scared eyes, unsure of what to do, unsure of what was happening. He continued to remove my clothes and his own. I started crying, this was wrong. I could feel it in my stomach. “Shh,” he tried reassuring me. “It’s okay, everything is alright,” he whispered as he positioned himself over me. He pushed into me and it hurt, everything hurt. I cried, trembling, but he didn’t stop. He began rocking his hips into me, causing me to cry harder.

“Stop,” I begged him, but he wasn’t listening. I continued begging until he finally did stop. He rolled off of me as I cried. I could feel myself bleeding. Everything hurt, I felt broken. I crawled off of the bed, putting my pajamas back on. I walked painfully to the door and looked back at him with tear-filled eyes. What just happened?

*

I woke up gasping. Another nightmare I couldn’t remember. Every night was always the same. I’d go to sleep and wake up gasping for air, feeling the need to escape from something.

I glanced at my alarm clock. The glowing letters read 1:43 a.m. Of course it was. I couldn’t even stay asleep for two hours. I sighed and sat up, running my fingers through my coppery hair.

I walked silently to my bathroom, pausing in front of the full length mirror. I looked like shit. I had dark circles under my eyes and I my hair stood up every which-way. I brushed the short locks out of my eyes and continued on my way to the bathroom.

Once inside I turned on the shower. I didn’t even strip, I just stepped into the tub and sat down, letting the scalding water soak my skin. I closed my eyes and focused on the warmth, letting it soothe my tense muscles.

When the water turned cold I stepped out, soaking. I dried myself as best I could with a towel and walked back to my room. I opened my window, silently climbed out onto the roof and sat.

That was how my nights usually went. I couldn’t ever sleep for very long so I watched the moon in the sky. It calmed me to know there was at least one constant in my life, unlike the ever changing world around me.

I learned at a very early age that things rarely ever stayed the same. After my mom abandoned my family it was just me, my dad, and my brother. That wasn’t so bad until our stepmother came along. Heather, she was a bitch. We of course didn’t see it at first, well I didn’t, but I grew to know.

I couldn’t take sitting there. I needed to get out, get away from the house. I was restless, at that moment I hated my room more than anything. I climbed back into my room and quickly put on some dry clothes. I shoved my headphones in my ears and grabbed my car keys. I tip-toed down the stairs and into the garage, unsure of where I was actually going to go.

I drove mindlessly for an hour before ending up at the local grocery store. I walked into the store and walked aimlessly down the aisles. I wasn’t really looking for anything, I just didn’t want to go home. I stopped in the ice cream aisle and studied the cartons of Ben and Jerry’s for a few moments. I reached to open the glass door just as someone else opened it.

I looked up startled, I hadn’t realized anyone was around me. I stared into beautiful chocolate brown eyes, mesmerized. “Sorry,” I apologized and moved out of the way so the boy could get what he wanted.

He grabbed a carton of the Phish Food ice cream and held the door open for me. I smiled and thanked him, taking the same. “I like your hair.” He stated, gesturing to my short pixie cut.

I blushed and looked at my shoes. I wasn’t used to such compliments. “So what’s your name?” He asked.

“Jamie.” I murmured.

“I’m Brendon.” He stuck out his hand for me to shake. “You know, I can buy that for you if you want. You look like you’re having a tough night.” I snorted at his comment. Every night was a tough night. “Sorry for the offer,” he muttered, taking my snort as one of derision.

I shook my head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just…tough is an understatement.”

He nodded. “Well I’ll definitely get that for you, I don’t mind. What’s 5 bucks?” he joked.

I smiled and acquiesced.

So what do you all think? I just started writing and thought 'hmmm...I'm not sure how everyone will take this story...' Tell me if you think I should continue with it! And also I'm really sorry for starting this off with a rape scene...It just kind of had to happen...Sorry :/ Seriously though, rate and review please! I would so appreciate it!