Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Lethal Force
Chapter One
12 reviewsCaptain Sexy decides to help Private Pretty Boy out... late at night when everyone's asleep.
1Original
A/N: So this story is a lot sloppier than my other one, Bending the Rules, and that's only because it's not really beta'd or edited very well, hah. So if there are any glaring errors I should know about, let me know. Otherwise, enjoy!
1.
I was used to having long hair, you know? My hair was like my pride and glory. I mean, think about it. If you had silky smooth brown hair that people were jealous of, you’d love your hair too. But as soon as I stepped foot off that bus, I was humiliated by the captain who, without a doubt, hates me now. After that, we were all taken to a private facility with a bunch of chairs and men holding razors.
At the time, that was the worst day of my life. I had to sit there, biting back tears, and have every single strand of my beautiful hair shaved off of my head. Don’t get me wrong. Shaved heads are awesome. But it’s not my thing. If I had to get a shaved head, it was probably because I got gum stuck in it or something and didn’t want an uneven cut.
When I walked into that room, I stared at the chairs like they were my worst enemy. The other soldiers all went and sat down willingly. I hadn’t realized that at the moment. I was just staring at the chair that was waiting for me. That’s when I heard a familiar voice behind me, whispering right into my ear, “Are you waiting for something, maggot?” he growled before shoving me at the chair. I tripped over one of the power chords and fell face-first onto the floor. I slowly turned my head from the floor to look up at the captain who just had this amused grin on his face.
I pushed myself up and sat down, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. This would be over before I knew it. And it was. I glanced at myself in the mirror before we were all headed out in a single-file line and I wanted to cry. My hair was gone. And you don’t know what I looked like, but if you did, well, I bet you wouldn’t be able to imagine me with a shaved head.
I looked over at Captain Urie and I was slightly jealous that he had hair. Although, that just meant that he had to have been in the army for a long time that his hair had grown back. When I looked at him, he raised an eyebrow and sent me a glare that caused me to look forward again and follow the rest in line. Knowing that the Captain most likely hated me meant that I would have to try a little harder than everyone else.
We were all lined up by our barracks as Urie came down the row, silent at first, eyeing each and every one of us until he landed right in front of me, “You are all my little maggots for now. You will ONLY speak when spoken to. Not to mention, the last words out of your mouths no matter what you say to me will be sir. Do you filthy maggots understand that?” he asked, his eyes nearly burning a hole into the pit of my soul. I was so screwed.
“SIR, YES, SIR!” everyone, including me yelled. Well, I didn’t really yell it. I was too scared I’d spit in his face. Yes, he was that close to me. So close to me, in fact, I could smell the mint on his breath. I’m sure he uses Colgate.
Brendon’s POV
That filthy little maggot didn’t understand my authority. By god, I would make him understand it. Who the fuck doesn’t comprehend the difference between a private and a captain? I was so much higher up than him, it wasn’t even funny. He should have bowed down to me, dammit!
But as I watched his bottom lip quiver as he softly ‘yelled’ “SIR YES SIR!” it made me want to attach my own lips to his and just… just ravish him. Damn the world. I tore my eyes away from him and moved to go back down the line. Then I turned back to him, “Private Ross!” I yelled from across the room. I watched as his head snapped up. Aw, he thought he was safe. That’s adorable, really, “If you don’t get your act together,” I moved quickly toward him and growled low in my throat, “You better drop and give me 50.”
The way his eyebrows went up in this mix of shock and a puppy-dog expression just made me want to pinch his fucking cheeks. When he didn’t give me a response, I took the opportunity to touch him. I pulled him forward and pushed him to the ground, “DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY, MAGGOT.”
I watched as Private Ross fell to the ground and attempted a push-up. He could barely even do one, let alone two. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “You havin’ trouble, Private Pretty Boy?” I asked in an accidentally seductive tone. I watched as his face turned toward mine and I saw the look in his eyes. It was the look I knew well from previous attractions of mine. It was the knowing look. He knew. He gave me a small grin before he looked down at the ground, “SIR, NO, SIR.”
“YOU BETTER NOT BE OR I WILL SIT ON YOUR BACK AND MAKE YOU DO A HUNDRED.”
Ryan’s POV
I couldn’t do push ups. I had always been the weakest in every physical education class I’d ever taken in my life. People would laugh at me. I had no muscle and this was seeming to work in the opposite of my favor. I had a bad feeling about all of this. And when he yelled that he’d sit on my back, well, I knew I was fucked. So very fucked. Maybe even literally.
When I was at ten, he stood up and shook his head, “Well, private pretty boy, looks like you need more practice. Meet me out back when everyone goes to sleep. You hear me?”
I literally stopped mid-push up to look up at him. Did he seriously just tell me to meet him out back? Was he going to shoot me? Awesome. I was going to die on my first day as a private. That’s exactly what I needed: to die before I even get to find out why Urie was being such an ass and only to me. Then there was the faint possibility he might make me suck him off because I’m such an idiot when it comes to strength things. I did hear the seduction in his voice. That was not a normal voice.
So I had two things, one I wouldn’t mind. The other, well, my death isn’t exactly something to look forward to. As I finished off my twelvth, I collapsed onto the ground with a grunt. I couldn’t even hit fifteen. I was a lame excuse for a guy. What guy can’t do fifteen push-ups at the least? I lifted my head and saw him looking at me with this amused expression on his face. Ugh, part of me wanted to stand up and slap that smirk/grin right off his face. Well, fuck you too, captain sexy. Woah, okay, sure, captain sexy, that works.
He called me Private Pretty Boy, well, he’s Captain Sexy now. Though that’s not an insult. Pretty Boy kind of is. But that’s okay, cause I admit it. I’m not exactly the manliest of men and pretty boy does describe me pretty well, unfortunately. Well, it did. It doesn’t anymore, sadly. I don’t have enough hair now to be considered pretty boy and I’ve got too much muscle. But oh well. You win some, you lose some.
Anyway, he pulled me up and pushed me against the barracks with a scoff. I was half expecting him to push up against me and attack me with his lips, but he didn’t. It certainly looked like he wanted to. There was a part of me that was pretty sure he wanted to hate fuck me because I wasn’t the kind of soldier he liked to have in his camp.
After the rest of the lecture about how he didn’t give a flying shit about us, he turned to us, at the front of the room, and shook his head, “Today is the beginning of the rest of your life. Be prepared because it’s not pretty, girls. I’ll be back in twenty minutes. If all of you aren’t stripped and standing next to your bed when I come back, every single one of you will drop and give me fifty. I don’t care if only one of you is out of line,” and with that, in one swift motion, he was out the door.
The male standing next to me slowly turned his head to look at me, “Dude, you’re so fucked,” was all he said before he started to take off his clothes. I looked over at him and then at the ground. He was right. And this was going to be hard to handle, especially since everyone else noticed him picking on me. It was just me. Oh how I wish it wasn’t.
When everyone was standing by their bunks, Captain Sexy walked back in and went up and down the rows, eyeing everyone until he got to me. He stared me straight in the eyes with a look before he mouthed, “Meet me out back,” before he continued off. This had to be so against the rules, it wasn’t even funny.
When he was finished scanning, he cleared his throat, “Now… RETREAT!” everyone jumped into their bunk and he grinned, “Now good night, ladies,” he turned out the light and walked out, closing the door behind him. I wasn’t sure what to do once the lights were out. If I went out right now, everyone would know. So I waited fifteen minutes before I climbed out of the hard bed I was laying on.
It was like a rock, really. Why did they let us sleep on this piece of stone? I quietly slipped on a pair of pants and some shoes before I headed out the back door. He was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, giving me a death glare. After I closed the door, he moved closer to me, “Okay, Private Pretty Boy,” he gestured to the obstacle course, “Go.”
“W-W-W-What?” I then realized that I was in the presence of the guy who yelled at me for talking back. I straightened up and nodded, “Sir, yes---“ a little too loudly because he slapped his hand over my mouth. My eyes widened.
“Shut up, faggot. This is against the rules and I don’t want you to fail, so I’m giving you extra practice. I’m cutting into my sleeping time to help you, private pretty boy, so shut up.” I slowly nodded until he took his hand from my mouth, “Now go.”
I took one last look at him before responding, “Sir, yes, sir,” causing him to groan. I looked around me and then at him before I ran off to the course. I jumped through tires, I attempted to jump up on a rope and climb it, but failed. Stupid ropes. On my first try, I barely got past the first grab before I fell on my ass. The second try, I got a little higher, but still fell on my ass. The third try, I got a little higher before I felt a pair of arms catch me.
I felt my face turn bright red as I looked up at him. He looked amused. I pouted at him. He shook his head and stood me up, “Okay, you need to use your ab muscles to get you up this rope. Just using your arm muscles won’t get you very far. Watch,” he pulled off his hat and jacket before grabbing onto the rope and getting all the way up and jumping up onto the platform just above everything else. He then leaned down, “Now try. Ab muscles, Ross, ab muscles.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” I spoke softly, grabbing onto the rope. I had few to no ab muscles, but I still had to try. If I didn’t try, I’d look like a fool. I still didn’t want to try, though. I took a deep breath and hoisted myself up. I got about three feet closer than I had previously before I slipped a bit. I grimaced and kept going. I finally reached the top, but couldn’t jump up. I looked up at him and he held out his hand. I shook my head and he laughed, leaning down to offer me his hand. I shook my head.
“What? Too scared you’ll fall. I’m stronger than I look. Take my hand,” he raised an eyebrow at my stubbornness. But no! I was not going to take his hand. I would jump up just like he did. Even if that meant falling on my ass again, I’d do it until I could. I wanted to be as good as him.
“Sir no sir.”
He laughed, “Okay, Ross, drop the act. At ease or whatever. I’m not acting very captain-y anyway. Grab my hand or I’ll grab you,” he grinned. This was weird. He wasn’t acting like a military person. He was acting… nice. This was so weird. Was he even allowed to do this?
I shook my head and he rolled his eyes. He leaned over and grabbed my hands and pried them off the rope. I had this dread feeling that I was going to fall, but I latched my hands onto his wrists when he grabbed me for dear life. He laughed a little and hoisted me up onto the platform, “Know how long it took for me to be able to jump up here? Two years. So, trust me, it’s not easy. I went through two promotions before I was finally able to jump. So you’re fine. Don’t worry.”
I pouted at him before I bit my lip, “Is it okay if I ask you a personal question…” I paused, “Sir?” I had to add that in for good measure. I didn’t want him commanding me to drop down and give him fifty again! I couldn’t even do fifteen. I know I keep saying that, but it’s true. I’m so weak. When he nodded, I rubbed the back of my neck, “How old are you?”
He laughed, “That’s not that personal. I’m 26. Been here since I turned 18.”
“Can I ask why you enlisted?”
He sighed and sat down on the platform, patting the spot next to him for me to sit. When I did, he looked over at me, “I was raised Mormon. Strict, really. My parents wanted me to be their star child. And I wasn’t. They were trying to redeem me. They made me go to church three times a week to ask God to bless me with better grades. And instead, as my parents put it, he condemned me with homosexuality. The first time I realized it, it scared the crap out of me because I was a good Mormon boy. I never looked at guys that way. So I ignored it, pretending that it wasn’t anything. I was approached one day by this guy who knew I was gay and told me he was too.”
“Instead of asking him questions or trying to experience what I knew I was,” he continued, “I told him I was disgusted by him and that he should never come near me again. And then he kissed me. Out of the blue, he kissed me. And as much as I wish I had pushed away, I felt compelled to kiss back. After we kissed, he told me that I shouldn’t deny what I really am. After that, I had had about three boyfriends before my parents found my stash of porn under my bed. They cried for about three days before they told me that I had to choose between a boarding school to ‘fix’ me or to enlist in the army, I chose the army.”
“Being gay isn’t something you can fix and I didn’t want to be depressed for the rest of my life,” he shook his head, “So 8 years ago, I was in the same spot you were. I was Private Pretty Boy,” he laughed and shook his head, looking over at him, “I was weak, could barely lift a weight. I didn’t have someone to look after me. And I know how many rules I’m breaking by telling you all of this, let alone helping you practice, but hey…”
He shrugged, shaking his head, “I’m doing it anyway. I’m giving you what I didn’t get,” he nudged my shoulder, “Private Pretty Boy,” he grabbed onto the edge of the wooden platform and jumped down, gesturing, “Come on, come down. We’re not done yet.”
Hesitantly, I jumped down. I didn’t even jump down because he told me to. I did it because I was intrigued by what he’d told me. So he was in almost the exact same position I was. He didn’t catch me, but he watched me land on my ass, laughing and shaking his head. He helped me up and shrugged, “Any other questions?”
I bit my lip and looked up at him and then down at the ground. I didn’t know if I had any other questions. I had the answer to the question I was wondering. Why was he helping me? And the answer was because he knew what I was going through. I ran a hand over my shaved head before looking over at him, “This one is really… uh… personal, so if you want to slap me for asking, go ahead,” which caused his slender eyebrow to raise, “And I’m just basing this off of the way you’ve been treating me, I swear,” he grinned, “I… Do you… find me attractive?”
He laughed. He full-on laughed and I thought he was laughing AT me. I felt stupid and I was expecting a slap, to be honest. But he didn’t. He just shook his head, “Wow, I really am obvious, aren’t I?” he chuckled once more before he looked at me again, “Yes, yes I do. And I tried not to be obvious about it because you looked uncomfortable, but hey, I guess after being deprived for eight years, it’s hard to be… inconspicuous.”
I bit my lip, a deep red blush coming to my cheeks as I looked down at the ground. Oh what pretty grass. He leaned his head down to look at mine, which made him look really funny to me. He poked my nose, “I know you might not be gay. I’m not going to make a move. I promise. That is, unless you want me to. But if you weren’t gay, I don’t think you’d want to. I may be deprived, but I can hold myself back.”
I slowly looked up, allowing him to relieve his neck from it’s seemingly painful position, “I… This… In my head…” I felt my cheeks get hotter, “Your… nickname is Captain…” I felt myself stutter as I tried to speak the next word, “S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sexy,” I finally spit out and he grinned. I put my hands to my face.
He pulled them off to look me in the eyes, “So you are gay. Well this is a turn of events, isn’t it?” that sexy little grin still on his lips. I was only calling him captain sexy because he was calling me private pretty boy! But okay, I will admit I did find him attractive. Painfully attractive. But who wouldn’t find him attractive? With his chocolate brown hair with eyes to match, his full pink lips, and his slender frame. He moved closer to me and lifted my chin with his fingers, “You’re adorable, you know that?” nope, I didn’t know that, but it was kind of a confidence boost.
Just as it seemed like he was going to kiss me, bright lights came on and he pushed me down to the ground, “Drop and give me fifty, soldier!” he yelled. I fell on my face, feeling a scrape down the side of it. Awesome. When I didn’t do anything, he kicked me, “COME ON, SOLDIER, DID I STUTTER?”
“Sir, no, sir!” I attempted to pull myself up in a lame push-up. This sucked, even though I knew that this would happen. I understood why it was happening, but I was still hurt to some extent. Even if we’d both get in serious trouble, I wish we could have at least had that one kiss.
The other male approached Captain Sexy and looked down at me, “What are you two doing out here so late?” he crossed his arms over his chest with what I can only imagine was a scowl on his face. Urie was silent for a while. The male scoffed, “Urie, did you hear me?”
“Sir, yes, sir. This private snuck out and I was punishing him for trying to run away, sir. That’s all, sir,” he sounded so formal and I almost felt bad for him… if it wasn’t for the fact that I was about to get punished for HIS idea.
“Oh really?” he looked at me and kicked me, “Get up, maggot,” he pulled me up by the back of my shirt, “And what use would running away be?” he growled. I just stared into his eyes without an answer until he kneed me in the gut. I saw Captain Sexy’s face crumple into one of pain for me. But I felt no sympathy for him, the ass. Especially when the male pushed me down at the ground, “For that, you get food rations. Back to your cabin, faggot,” he shoved me toward the barracks.
As I got up from the ground, I turned and saw Urie’s face behind the other’s shoulder. He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before I ran off to the back door of where I was living with my fellow privates. I hated Urie. I hated him for this. Now I’d have to be working on little to no food. Great. Fuck you, Captain Sexy.
1.
I was used to having long hair, you know? My hair was like my pride and glory. I mean, think about it. If you had silky smooth brown hair that people were jealous of, you’d love your hair too. But as soon as I stepped foot off that bus, I was humiliated by the captain who, without a doubt, hates me now. After that, we were all taken to a private facility with a bunch of chairs and men holding razors.
At the time, that was the worst day of my life. I had to sit there, biting back tears, and have every single strand of my beautiful hair shaved off of my head. Don’t get me wrong. Shaved heads are awesome. But it’s not my thing. If I had to get a shaved head, it was probably because I got gum stuck in it or something and didn’t want an uneven cut.
When I walked into that room, I stared at the chairs like they were my worst enemy. The other soldiers all went and sat down willingly. I hadn’t realized that at the moment. I was just staring at the chair that was waiting for me. That’s when I heard a familiar voice behind me, whispering right into my ear, “Are you waiting for something, maggot?” he growled before shoving me at the chair. I tripped over one of the power chords and fell face-first onto the floor. I slowly turned my head from the floor to look up at the captain who just had this amused grin on his face.
I pushed myself up and sat down, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. This would be over before I knew it. And it was. I glanced at myself in the mirror before we were all headed out in a single-file line and I wanted to cry. My hair was gone. And you don’t know what I looked like, but if you did, well, I bet you wouldn’t be able to imagine me with a shaved head.
I looked over at Captain Urie and I was slightly jealous that he had hair. Although, that just meant that he had to have been in the army for a long time that his hair had grown back. When I looked at him, he raised an eyebrow and sent me a glare that caused me to look forward again and follow the rest in line. Knowing that the Captain most likely hated me meant that I would have to try a little harder than everyone else.
We were all lined up by our barracks as Urie came down the row, silent at first, eyeing each and every one of us until he landed right in front of me, “You are all my little maggots for now. You will ONLY speak when spoken to. Not to mention, the last words out of your mouths no matter what you say to me will be sir. Do you filthy maggots understand that?” he asked, his eyes nearly burning a hole into the pit of my soul. I was so screwed.
“SIR, YES, SIR!” everyone, including me yelled. Well, I didn’t really yell it. I was too scared I’d spit in his face. Yes, he was that close to me. So close to me, in fact, I could smell the mint on his breath. I’m sure he uses Colgate.
Brendon’s POV
That filthy little maggot didn’t understand my authority. By god, I would make him understand it. Who the fuck doesn’t comprehend the difference between a private and a captain? I was so much higher up than him, it wasn’t even funny. He should have bowed down to me, dammit!
But as I watched his bottom lip quiver as he softly ‘yelled’ “SIR YES SIR!” it made me want to attach my own lips to his and just… just ravish him. Damn the world. I tore my eyes away from him and moved to go back down the line. Then I turned back to him, “Private Ross!” I yelled from across the room. I watched as his head snapped up. Aw, he thought he was safe. That’s adorable, really, “If you don’t get your act together,” I moved quickly toward him and growled low in my throat, “You better drop and give me 50.”
The way his eyebrows went up in this mix of shock and a puppy-dog expression just made me want to pinch his fucking cheeks. When he didn’t give me a response, I took the opportunity to touch him. I pulled him forward and pushed him to the ground, “DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY, MAGGOT.”
I watched as Private Ross fell to the ground and attempted a push-up. He could barely even do one, let alone two. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “You havin’ trouble, Private Pretty Boy?” I asked in an accidentally seductive tone. I watched as his face turned toward mine and I saw the look in his eyes. It was the look I knew well from previous attractions of mine. It was the knowing look. He knew. He gave me a small grin before he looked down at the ground, “SIR, NO, SIR.”
“YOU BETTER NOT BE OR I WILL SIT ON YOUR BACK AND MAKE YOU DO A HUNDRED.”
Ryan’s POV
I couldn’t do push ups. I had always been the weakest in every physical education class I’d ever taken in my life. People would laugh at me. I had no muscle and this was seeming to work in the opposite of my favor. I had a bad feeling about all of this. And when he yelled that he’d sit on my back, well, I knew I was fucked. So very fucked. Maybe even literally.
When I was at ten, he stood up and shook his head, “Well, private pretty boy, looks like you need more practice. Meet me out back when everyone goes to sleep. You hear me?”
I literally stopped mid-push up to look up at him. Did he seriously just tell me to meet him out back? Was he going to shoot me? Awesome. I was going to die on my first day as a private. That’s exactly what I needed: to die before I even get to find out why Urie was being such an ass and only to me. Then there was the faint possibility he might make me suck him off because I’m such an idiot when it comes to strength things. I did hear the seduction in his voice. That was not a normal voice.
So I had two things, one I wouldn’t mind. The other, well, my death isn’t exactly something to look forward to. As I finished off my twelvth, I collapsed onto the ground with a grunt. I couldn’t even hit fifteen. I was a lame excuse for a guy. What guy can’t do fifteen push-ups at the least? I lifted my head and saw him looking at me with this amused expression on his face. Ugh, part of me wanted to stand up and slap that smirk/grin right off his face. Well, fuck you too, captain sexy. Woah, okay, sure, captain sexy, that works.
He called me Private Pretty Boy, well, he’s Captain Sexy now. Though that’s not an insult. Pretty Boy kind of is. But that’s okay, cause I admit it. I’m not exactly the manliest of men and pretty boy does describe me pretty well, unfortunately. Well, it did. It doesn’t anymore, sadly. I don’t have enough hair now to be considered pretty boy and I’ve got too much muscle. But oh well. You win some, you lose some.
Anyway, he pulled me up and pushed me against the barracks with a scoff. I was half expecting him to push up against me and attack me with his lips, but he didn’t. It certainly looked like he wanted to. There was a part of me that was pretty sure he wanted to hate fuck me because I wasn’t the kind of soldier he liked to have in his camp.
After the rest of the lecture about how he didn’t give a flying shit about us, he turned to us, at the front of the room, and shook his head, “Today is the beginning of the rest of your life. Be prepared because it’s not pretty, girls. I’ll be back in twenty minutes. If all of you aren’t stripped and standing next to your bed when I come back, every single one of you will drop and give me fifty. I don’t care if only one of you is out of line,” and with that, in one swift motion, he was out the door.
The male standing next to me slowly turned his head to look at me, “Dude, you’re so fucked,” was all he said before he started to take off his clothes. I looked over at him and then at the ground. He was right. And this was going to be hard to handle, especially since everyone else noticed him picking on me. It was just me. Oh how I wish it wasn’t.
When everyone was standing by their bunks, Captain Sexy walked back in and went up and down the rows, eyeing everyone until he got to me. He stared me straight in the eyes with a look before he mouthed, “Meet me out back,” before he continued off. This had to be so against the rules, it wasn’t even funny.
When he was finished scanning, he cleared his throat, “Now… RETREAT!” everyone jumped into their bunk and he grinned, “Now good night, ladies,” he turned out the light and walked out, closing the door behind him. I wasn’t sure what to do once the lights were out. If I went out right now, everyone would know. So I waited fifteen minutes before I climbed out of the hard bed I was laying on.
It was like a rock, really. Why did they let us sleep on this piece of stone? I quietly slipped on a pair of pants and some shoes before I headed out the back door. He was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, giving me a death glare. After I closed the door, he moved closer to me, “Okay, Private Pretty Boy,” he gestured to the obstacle course, “Go.”
“W-W-W-What?” I then realized that I was in the presence of the guy who yelled at me for talking back. I straightened up and nodded, “Sir, yes---“ a little too loudly because he slapped his hand over my mouth. My eyes widened.
“Shut up, faggot. This is against the rules and I don’t want you to fail, so I’m giving you extra practice. I’m cutting into my sleeping time to help you, private pretty boy, so shut up.” I slowly nodded until he took his hand from my mouth, “Now go.”
I took one last look at him before responding, “Sir, yes, sir,” causing him to groan. I looked around me and then at him before I ran off to the course. I jumped through tires, I attempted to jump up on a rope and climb it, but failed. Stupid ropes. On my first try, I barely got past the first grab before I fell on my ass. The second try, I got a little higher, but still fell on my ass. The third try, I got a little higher before I felt a pair of arms catch me.
I felt my face turn bright red as I looked up at him. He looked amused. I pouted at him. He shook his head and stood me up, “Okay, you need to use your ab muscles to get you up this rope. Just using your arm muscles won’t get you very far. Watch,” he pulled off his hat and jacket before grabbing onto the rope and getting all the way up and jumping up onto the platform just above everything else. He then leaned down, “Now try. Ab muscles, Ross, ab muscles.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” I spoke softly, grabbing onto the rope. I had few to no ab muscles, but I still had to try. If I didn’t try, I’d look like a fool. I still didn’t want to try, though. I took a deep breath and hoisted myself up. I got about three feet closer than I had previously before I slipped a bit. I grimaced and kept going. I finally reached the top, but couldn’t jump up. I looked up at him and he held out his hand. I shook my head and he laughed, leaning down to offer me his hand. I shook my head.
“What? Too scared you’ll fall. I’m stronger than I look. Take my hand,” he raised an eyebrow at my stubbornness. But no! I was not going to take his hand. I would jump up just like he did. Even if that meant falling on my ass again, I’d do it until I could. I wanted to be as good as him.
“Sir no sir.”
He laughed, “Okay, Ross, drop the act. At ease or whatever. I’m not acting very captain-y anyway. Grab my hand or I’ll grab you,” he grinned. This was weird. He wasn’t acting like a military person. He was acting… nice. This was so weird. Was he even allowed to do this?
I shook my head and he rolled his eyes. He leaned over and grabbed my hands and pried them off the rope. I had this dread feeling that I was going to fall, but I latched my hands onto his wrists when he grabbed me for dear life. He laughed a little and hoisted me up onto the platform, “Know how long it took for me to be able to jump up here? Two years. So, trust me, it’s not easy. I went through two promotions before I was finally able to jump. So you’re fine. Don’t worry.”
I pouted at him before I bit my lip, “Is it okay if I ask you a personal question…” I paused, “Sir?” I had to add that in for good measure. I didn’t want him commanding me to drop down and give him fifty again! I couldn’t even do fifteen. I know I keep saying that, but it’s true. I’m so weak. When he nodded, I rubbed the back of my neck, “How old are you?”
He laughed, “That’s not that personal. I’m 26. Been here since I turned 18.”
“Can I ask why you enlisted?”
He sighed and sat down on the platform, patting the spot next to him for me to sit. When I did, he looked over at me, “I was raised Mormon. Strict, really. My parents wanted me to be their star child. And I wasn’t. They were trying to redeem me. They made me go to church three times a week to ask God to bless me with better grades. And instead, as my parents put it, he condemned me with homosexuality. The first time I realized it, it scared the crap out of me because I was a good Mormon boy. I never looked at guys that way. So I ignored it, pretending that it wasn’t anything. I was approached one day by this guy who knew I was gay and told me he was too.”
“Instead of asking him questions or trying to experience what I knew I was,” he continued, “I told him I was disgusted by him and that he should never come near me again. And then he kissed me. Out of the blue, he kissed me. And as much as I wish I had pushed away, I felt compelled to kiss back. After we kissed, he told me that I shouldn’t deny what I really am. After that, I had had about three boyfriends before my parents found my stash of porn under my bed. They cried for about three days before they told me that I had to choose between a boarding school to ‘fix’ me or to enlist in the army, I chose the army.”
“Being gay isn’t something you can fix and I didn’t want to be depressed for the rest of my life,” he shook his head, “So 8 years ago, I was in the same spot you were. I was Private Pretty Boy,” he laughed and shook his head, looking over at him, “I was weak, could barely lift a weight. I didn’t have someone to look after me. And I know how many rules I’m breaking by telling you all of this, let alone helping you practice, but hey…”
He shrugged, shaking his head, “I’m doing it anyway. I’m giving you what I didn’t get,” he nudged my shoulder, “Private Pretty Boy,” he grabbed onto the edge of the wooden platform and jumped down, gesturing, “Come on, come down. We’re not done yet.”
Hesitantly, I jumped down. I didn’t even jump down because he told me to. I did it because I was intrigued by what he’d told me. So he was in almost the exact same position I was. He didn’t catch me, but he watched me land on my ass, laughing and shaking his head. He helped me up and shrugged, “Any other questions?”
I bit my lip and looked up at him and then down at the ground. I didn’t know if I had any other questions. I had the answer to the question I was wondering. Why was he helping me? And the answer was because he knew what I was going through. I ran a hand over my shaved head before looking over at him, “This one is really… uh… personal, so if you want to slap me for asking, go ahead,” which caused his slender eyebrow to raise, “And I’m just basing this off of the way you’ve been treating me, I swear,” he grinned, “I… Do you… find me attractive?”
He laughed. He full-on laughed and I thought he was laughing AT me. I felt stupid and I was expecting a slap, to be honest. But he didn’t. He just shook his head, “Wow, I really am obvious, aren’t I?” he chuckled once more before he looked at me again, “Yes, yes I do. And I tried not to be obvious about it because you looked uncomfortable, but hey, I guess after being deprived for eight years, it’s hard to be… inconspicuous.”
I bit my lip, a deep red blush coming to my cheeks as I looked down at the ground. Oh what pretty grass. He leaned his head down to look at mine, which made him look really funny to me. He poked my nose, “I know you might not be gay. I’m not going to make a move. I promise. That is, unless you want me to. But if you weren’t gay, I don’t think you’d want to. I may be deprived, but I can hold myself back.”
I slowly looked up, allowing him to relieve his neck from it’s seemingly painful position, “I… This… In my head…” I felt my cheeks get hotter, “Your… nickname is Captain…” I felt myself stutter as I tried to speak the next word, “S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sexy,” I finally spit out and he grinned. I put my hands to my face.
He pulled them off to look me in the eyes, “So you are gay. Well this is a turn of events, isn’t it?” that sexy little grin still on his lips. I was only calling him captain sexy because he was calling me private pretty boy! But okay, I will admit I did find him attractive. Painfully attractive. But who wouldn’t find him attractive? With his chocolate brown hair with eyes to match, his full pink lips, and his slender frame. He moved closer to me and lifted my chin with his fingers, “You’re adorable, you know that?” nope, I didn’t know that, but it was kind of a confidence boost.
Just as it seemed like he was going to kiss me, bright lights came on and he pushed me down to the ground, “Drop and give me fifty, soldier!” he yelled. I fell on my face, feeling a scrape down the side of it. Awesome. When I didn’t do anything, he kicked me, “COME ON, SOLDIER, DID I STUTTER?”
“Sir, no, sir!” I attempted to pull myself up in a lame push-up. This sucked, even though I knew that this would happen. I understood why it was happening, but I was still hurt to some extent. Even if we’d both get in serious trouble, I wish we could have at least had that one kiss.
The other male approached Captain Sexy and looked down at me, “What are you two doing out here so late?” he crossed his arms over his chest with what I can only imagine was a scowl on his face. Urie was silent for a while. The male scoffed, “Urie, did you hear me?”
“Sir, yes, sir. This private snuck out and I was punishing him for trying to run away, sir. That’s all, sir,” he sounded so formal and I almost felt bad for him… if it wasn’t for the fact that I was about to get punished for HIS idea.
“Oh really?” he looked at me and kicked me, “Get up, maggot,” he pulled me up by the back of my shirt, “And what use would running away be?” he growled. I just stared into his eyes without an answer until he kneed me in the gut. I saw Captain Sexy’s face crumple into one of pain for me. But I felt no sympathy for him, the ass. Especially when the male pushed me down at the ground, “For that, you get food rations. Back to your cabin, faggot,” he shoved me toward the barracks.
As I got up from the ground, I turned and saw Urie’s face behind the other’s shoulder. He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before I ran off to the back door of where I was living with my fellow privates. I hated Urie. I hated him for this. Now I’d have to be working on little to no food. Great. Fuck you, Captain Sexy.
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