Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
I leaned further over the toilet, the thick red blood pouring out of my mouth. Tears streamed down my cheeks from the pain that gnawed at my abdomen.
Slumping over onto the cold tile floor, I cried in silence. Why can't I just get better? The doctors said I would. That all I had to was stick to the big pill bottles labeled in words I couldn't say coupled with the bold FRANK A. IERO on the sticky white sheets.
My mind went blank. I swallowed the metalic taste and forced myself to sit up, pain making black dots dance in my eyes. Taking deep breaths, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror.
Huge, sunken eyes surrounded by deep purple bruises. My pale and ashen face, only broken by the thick red lines that striped my cheeks. My thick black hair a tangled mess around the shaved white.
My eyes scared me the most now. The things I loved more than my piercings. They used to be a lively, bright honey brown.
Now they were flat as a mud puddle in the sidewalk. Fresh tears glistened under the muddy orbs as I felt every part of me break.
The very things that used to show how much life I had now held none. I had nothing left to give up. Nothing.
Everything up to this point; all the pain, the lost love of my best friend Gerard.....just everything; piled on top of me, making my throat close around a sob.
I reached into the mirror cabinet and grabbed the huge bottle of pain pills and made my way over to the kitchen. From the freezer, I grabbed the bottle of icy vodka I used for jello shots at Ray's birthday party.
With a soft sigh, I made my way back to the bathroom and started the faucet in the bathtub, turning it from cold to hot and leaving it in the middle.
While I waited for the water to heat up, I unscrewed the vodka and the pill bottle. Dumping nearly half of the pills into the palm of my hand, I popped them all into my mouth.
I swallowed them with the burning chill of the vodka, making my throat hurt even worse. My thoughts held a strangely happy edge in them as the burn worked it's way to my chest.
No more pain. No more time spent hunched over the toilet. No more washing blood rings from the toilet bowl. No more pills.
I took off my loose sweatpants and climbed into the tub in my boxers, dropping the plug. The hot water filled up ghe tub quickly. My body was slowly going numb from the combined vodka, pain pills and hot water.
Picking up the bottle again, I took a long, deep drink. It hardly even burned now. I turned off the water as it reached over my chest and covered every part of me aside from my head and neck.
I felt my grip on the vodka weaken and heard the glass bottle smash on the floor as it fell. My vision blurred slightly as I took a slow breath.
My heart thudded in my chest heavily as the poor muscle tried to keep working. But I was working against it.
It was almost funny. I used to base time on the pace of my heart. And here I was, doing it again. Only it was beating slower and slower with every second.
Time was slowing. I felt myself slipping.
A scream broke the sweet peace that surrounded me. Arms lifted me from the water, shaking me and pulling me against a body.
I forced my eyes open, meeting a blazing green. A green I knew and loved. "Frankie!" Gee cried, his tears falling onto my dry face.
"Gee." I wanted to move. To hug him. To cry with him. To hold him close and never let go.
"God Frankie, please tell me this isn't happening!" My eyes shut. I had to work to open them again.
He sobbed harder and held me closer. I didn't feel the heat of his body or his soft skin. Anything, really. "Kiss me." I breathed.
His soft gasp filled the air around us. He leaned forward, his lips touching mine.
That I felt. They were silky, warm and sent a little spark through my head. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting go all together.
Soft, thick blackness wrapped around me like a warm blanket. Gee's arms wete still around me though. And I knew, that even in death, that they would never leave.
Yeah, I'm kinda depressed at the moment and I needed to write this out. R+R I guess. I really don't care.
Hugs and Hairspray,
-Lala
Slumping over onto the cold tile floor, I cried in silence. Why can't I just get better? The doctors said I would. That all I had to was stick to the big pill bottles labeled in words I couldn't say coupled with the bold FRANK A. IERO on the sticky white sheets.
My mind went blank. I swallowed the metalic taste and forced myself to sit up, pain making black dots dance in my eyes. Taking deep breaths, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror.
Huge, sunken eyes surrounded by deep purple bruises. My pale and ashen face, only broken by the thick red lines that striped my cheeks. My thick black hair a tangled mess around the shaved white.
My eyes scared me the most now. The things I loved more than my piercings. They used to be a lively, bright honey brown.
Now they were flat as a mud puddle in the sidewalk. Fresh tears glistened under the muddy orbs as I felt every part of me break.
The very things that used to show how much life I had now held none. I had nothing left to give up. Nothing.
Everything up to this point; all the pain, the lost love of my best friend Gerard.....just everything; piled on top of me, making my throat close around a sob.
I reached into the mirror cabinet and grabbed the huge bottle of pain pills and made my way over to the kitchen. From the freezer, I grabbed the bottle of icy vodka I used for jello shots at Ray's birthday party.
With a soft sigh, I made my way back to the bathroom and started the faucet in the bathtub, turning it from cold to hot and leaving it in the middle.
While I waited for the water to heat up, I unscrewed the vodka and the pill bottle. Dumping nearly half of the pills into the palm of my hand, I popped them all into my mouth.
I swallowed them with the burning chill of the vodka, making my throat hurt even worse. My thoughts held a strangely happy edge in them as the burn worked it's way to my chest.
No more pain. No more time spent hunched over the toilet. No more washing blood rings from the toilet bowl. No more pills.
I took off my loose sweatpants and climbed into the tub in my boxers, dropping the plug. The hot water filled up ghe tub quickly. My body was slowly going numb from the combined vodka, pain pills and hot water.
Picking up the bottle again, I took a long, deep drink. It hardly even burned now. I turned off the water as it reached over my chest and covered every part of me aside from my head and neck.
I felt my grip on the vodka weaken and heard the glass bottle smash on the floor as it fell. My vision blurred slightly as I took a slow breath.
My heart thudded in my chest heavily as the poor muscle tried to keep working. But I was working against it.
It was almost funny. I used to base time on the pace of my heart. And here I was, doing it again. Only it was beating slower and slower with every second.
Time was slowing. I felt myself slipping.
A scream broke the sweet peace that surrounded me. Arms lifted me from the water, shaking me and pulling me against a body.
I forced my eyes open, meeting a blazing green. A green I knew and loved. "Frankie!" Gee cried, his tears falling onto my dry face.
"Gee." I wanted to move. To hug him. To cry with him. To hold him close and never let go.
"God Frankie, please tell me this isn't happening!" My eyes shut. I had to work to open them again.
He sobbed harder and held me closer. I didn't feel the heat of his body or his soft skin. Anything, really. "Kiss me." I breathed.
His soft gasp filled the air around us. He leaned forward, his lips touching mine.
That I felt. They were silky, warm and sent a little spark through my head. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting go all together.
Soft, thick blackness wrapped around me like a warm blanket. Gee's arms wete still around me though. And I knew, that even in death, that they would never leave.
Yeah, I'm kinda depressed at the moment and I needed to write this out. R+R I guess. I really don't care.
Hugs and Hairspray,
-Lala
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