FicWad

The sixth Espada sighed deeply as he lie in bed, running his fingers over the stub that was his left arm. Adapting to life with only one arm was so much harder than he had ever even bothered to imagine. The cuts, bruises, and burns on his body weren't that painful anymore, most of the sting from the medicine he was given had already worn off so he was just lying around, waiting for everything to heal completely.
'I love you Grimmjow!' Ichigo's voice rang in his head.
"He sounded so serious... maybe he wasn't just trying to avoid being killed-what am I saying? Why the fuck am I even thinking about that worthless shit head?" Grimmjow growled at himself.
"Sulking around are ya?" a familiar voice asked and the blunet sighed, sitting up to see the tall figure in his doorway. "So who kicked yer ass?" Nnoitra snickered, causing the other to growl.
"If you don't have any sake you better get the fuck out." Grimmjow growled fiercely at the other who just smirked, holding up a case of the panther's favorite toxic liquid.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
"You really are pathetic..." Grimmjow growled as he readied his bright red cero beside my head. I closed my eyes, tears escaping them to roll down my face before jumping down to the ground, mixing into the pool of blood at my feet. I was pinned to something, a wall maybe, held in place by the Espada's zanpakuto that was run through my hands. For so long now, Grimmjow has been torturing me, continuously reminding me that I was pathetic, useless, worthless, and a waste. Finally it seemed like he was going to finish me. There was no ice to save me this time, no one would come... no one cared enough to.
... ... ...
A mess of orange hair shot up, nearly screaming. He was sweating, panting, confused, and terrified.
"A nightmare... it was just a nightmare." he repeated as he curled into himself. The oranget was in pain and his body was on fire. Was it just really hot in his room or was it the effect of the cero? Whatever it was, he knew he had been slowly tortured, he knew... that Grimmjow had killed him. A bad dream, just a bad dream... or was it really... a good one?
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Grimmjow placed his now empty sake bottle on the small table before going to lay down on his bed. He only had two bottles so far which really had no effect on him. He wanted to have so much, he couldn't think. The hangover in the morning and all day tomorrow would suck royally but it would be worth forgetting Ichigo tonight. But he suddenly didn't feel like drinking anymore. The blunet growled as the simple line the boy had said to him still ran through his mind. He rested his forearm over his eyes. Nnoitra lied on top him, lifting the others legs to his sides. "Get the Hell off me." Grimmjow warned him.
"Come on Grimmjow, let’s have a bit of fun."
"No. I don't bottom for anyone and certainly not you!" he shouted before punching the other.
"Come on Grimm..." the fifth pouted, standing up from the fall.
"If yer gonna be a bitch then get out. And stop calling me that." Grimmjow stated calmly, nodding toward the door.
"I've been patient with you for a long time now, don't make me force you!" Nnoitra yelled, stepping closer to the bed but stopped at the sound of another voice.
"What's going on here?"
"I'm about to kick Nnoitra's ass if he doesn't get the Hell out of my room." the panther answered the fourth as he walked in.
"Head back to your quarters Nnoitra, I must speak with Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said calmly. The other raised an eyebrow in curiosity while the tall man just growled before marching out the door, slamming it behind him.
"What do you want?" Grimmjow asked rudely, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We have a new assignment."
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
As the oranget woke from sleep, he wasn't that surprised to find Renji and Rukia waiting for him in his room. He sat up, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair before wrapping his arms around his knees as he brought them up to his chest.
"What do you two want?" he asked more rudely than he should have.
"Get dressed; we're going to Urahara's." Renji shot, equally rude.
"Hmp... I'm not going." the boy shot, flopping back down on his bed, turning his back to the other two.
"Ichigo you need to come with us to train." Rukia pleaded.
"You got your ass kicked again by the same arrancar and the first time, all you did was train to beat him the next time you saw him but you lost again and this time you don't want to get stronger?" Renji snapped. "What about the next time you two meet? He'll kill you!" he shouted.
'Maybe that's what I want.' Ichigo thought though he knew better than to voice it. Renji grabbed the foot of his bed and flipped it just enough to make the teen roll off of it and onto the floor. "What the Hell Renji? I'm not in the mood for your shit right now!" the oranget yelled, climbing back onto the bed.
"What the Hell is wrong with you Ichigo? Ever since your last fight with Grimmjow, you haven't been acting like yourself." the red head sighed, speaking calmly now. "What happened during that fight of yours?" Ichigo looked down sadly, not meeting their eyes. What was he supposed to say?
'I fell in love with the man that's trying to kill me, got harshly rejected when I confessed, and now I want him to kill me. Yeah right.' he tried to think about some other ways he could tell them without actually telling them and also without lying. No success. There was only one way he could think of to shut them up. "Fine let's go."
... ... ...
"Come on Ichigo, fight seriously!" Renji yelled at the berry, who dodged the others sword when it nearly took off his head. He only came to shut them up, he never said he would fight but the shinigami continued to attack him so he just ran, dodged, and blocked. He wasn't in the mood to fight, he didn't want to. There was no point in training to get stronger if he was just going to let Grimmjow kill him anyway. "There's something up with that arrancar, isn't there? What happened? What did he do to you?" Ichigo didn't answer. "If you won't kill him, then I will." he stopped when Ichigo's blade was pressed to his throat hard enough to sting, maybe even draw a few drops of blood.
"If you kill him, I'll kill you. He's mine." Ichigo growled, his eyes glowing gold. Why was he so serious about this? Renji swung at him to get him away.
"Good then pretend I'm him and fight!" Ichigo was about to attack but froze at the others words.
"Ichigo?" Rukia asked, cautiously stepping a bit closer to him but he turned his back to all of them.
"You'll never be him." the berry said calmly though the pain that he tried to hide was clearly there. That was all he said before leaving.
... ... ...
Upon entering his room, Ichigo shut the door and leaned against it, looking down at the ground. He remained like that for a few minutes before slowly sliding down it, holding his head as tears coursed down his face. What was he doing?
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
A small garganta opened in the sky and instantly, before Ulquiorra could stop him, Grimmjow took off in the opposite direction. Their mission was to retrieve an arrancar that had left Hueco Mundo and was now causing problems that interfered with Aizen's plans but the sixth Espada had something else in mind. Ulquiorra decided it would be easier to just let him run around for a little bit while he collected the stray arrancar then he can pick him up along the way. Fighting with him now would just ensure that nothing would get done.
As the panther came up to the house he was looking for, he peered into one of the windows, glad to find that it was Ichigo's. He opened the window and sat in the windowsill. He could've just torn a hole in the wall but that would be "going against Aizen" and he really didn't feel like losing his other arm. Grimmjow was surprised to find that Ichigo was curled up in a ball, crying.
"Oi what are you crying over this time?" he called in annoyance. Ichigo's head shot up to see him. His eyes were red and full of water, his cheeks were stained with tears, and he looked all too vulnerable. Was this guy really worth killing?
"Grimmjow!" the teen shouted, jumping up to wrap his arms around the unsuspecting Espada who nearly fell backwards out of the window but held onto the wall for support. "Grimmjow I love you, I love you, I love you! Please don't leave again-I want to go with you! I don't want to be here anymore!" he shouted, burying his face into the others chest. He was dreaming. Grimmjow wouldn't really be there, asking him why he was crying. Grimmjow would've crushed his house, walked in, and killed him just like that. This was a dream. This is where he could tell Grimmjow everything he's wanted to for so long. "Please don't leave me again, I love you, I want to be with you!" Grimmjow was frozen. What was he supposed to do? He could feel the others tears rolling down his bare chest, they were cold yet somehow inviting. Well at least this answered his question... the kid really was in love with him and not just saying it. Something in the back of his mind told him that this was his perfect chance... but for what? It wasn't telling him to kill him so what else was he supposed to do?
"W-what the Hell are you doing? Get off me!" the blunet yelled, shoving the berry away. Aggressiveness. Could it be that Grimmjow really was there with him in his room? He fell back, falling off the bed that was just under him, allowing his head to connect with floor. Pain. Yup... Grimmjow was definitely there.
"G-Grimmjow y-you're... you're here..." Ichigo stuttered as he sat up, trying to ignore the pain in his head. Wait... everything that he had just said... the teen blushed fiercely, embarrassed by what had just happened. They avoided meeting the others eyes as they stood in complete silence. Grimmjow rubbed the back of his head, trying to remember why he came here in the first place. Just hearing all that was enough to cloud his mind, even get him to take the words seriously but he still wondered what they meant exactly.
'I want to go with you-I don't want to be here anymore!'
What was that supposed to mean? Did he really want to go back to Hueco Mundo with him? Los Noches wasn't exactly a friendly place-surely Aizen would force him to do something that he didn't want to. Why the Hell was he even thinking about it? It wasn't going to happen! The kid was fucking with his head and that made the blunet want to kill him more. Wasn't that why he was here?
"I... I'm sorry Grimmjow... I just... thought you weren't really here... and that I was just dreaming..." Ichigo explained slowly.
"Tsk whatever." Grimmjow inwardly growled. He shouldn't have just stood there, he should've killed the kid the moment he touched him. "I wanna fight so hurry up and get ready, I want you at full strength."
"No."
"What was that?" Grimmjow glared down at the boy.
"I said 'no.' I'm not fighting you Grimmjow."
What was Grimmjow doing? He just sat in Ichigo Kurosaki's window as if he didn't care that the boy didn't want to fight. It was as if he didn't mind that they sat in silence... it seemed like he just wanted to sit there with him and talk though he didn't know what to say. Neither of them spoke, Grimmjow just glared at him while Ichigo avoided his eyes and apologized. What were they doing? Didn't Grimmjow want to kill him? So why was he just sitting there as if in a daze? Whatever be the reason, they needed to leave before the soul reapers caught up with them.
"Grimmjow." he called, startling the other who quickly turned to see him. He stood a ways from them, holding onto an unconscious arrancar. "Our mission is complete, it's time to go."
'Shit how long was he there? Did he hear what Ichigo said and did he... see my reaction?' the sixth thought nervously but stood, stepping out into the chilly evening air. "Tsk you're early."
"Wait!" Ichigo called, rushing to his window. Grimmjow held his breath, knowing what he was going to demand.
'Not in front of Ulquiorra kid, just drop it.' he told the other in his mind before slightly turning to see him. "What do you want?"
"I told you not to leave, didn't I?" the boy exclaimed, his eyes allowing a few tears to escape.
"Shut up soul reaper, the only reason you're still alive is because I'm leaving. Consider yourself lucky." the blue haired Espada shouted, hoping that it would make him change the subject.
"That's not what I'm talking about, I want to go with you!" the boy cried desperately. Of course he wouldn't just drop it and of course he had to go and say something stupid like that in front of Ulquiorra, the worst person to tell. He'd go straight to Aizen about it and the boy would be kidnapped and then he'd have to deal with him every day as well as all the other Espada teasing him about being gay and fucking a shinigami, which he would never do. It wasn't so much that he was worried about what everyone else thought-he didn't give a fuck about that he just... wasn't sure what he would do if he had to see the kid every day. The oranget was able to stir up his mind and cloud his senses with nothing but his words. He didn't want to think about the boy, he hated how he got him thinking, and he hated the feeling the he gave him most of all. It was new, strange, and he didn't know what it was. He hated it and more than that, he hated Ichigo. He wanted to kill him to stop this feeling from entering his mind. It was confusing and it made his chest burn as if there were fire underneath his skin. He didn't understand it and that worried him, in a sense, it even scared him at some points.
"Get over it! It's not gonna happen so just stop yer fucking dreaming!" Grimmjow yelled back at him.
"Interesting." Ulquiorra pitched in.
"You shut the Hell up!" the other barked at the emotionless man. "Tsk let’s just get going, I'm sick of being here." he demanded and Ulquiorra opened a garganta in response.
"Grimmjow!" Ichigo yelled but said man didn't turn back as he stepped toward the darkness that would take him back home. "Grimmjow please just hold on!" he sighed and turned around.
"What the Hell is it?" he growled, annoyed. He looked down at the now freely crying boy.
"Just... just look me in the eye... and tell me you don't want me." he said seriously, staring him straight in the eye. Grimmjow froze again, his eyes locked onto the others. Where was this coming from? Why was he so desperate to get the blunet to stay with him? Was he even thinking about what would happen to them if the shinigami caught them together?
'Damn it...' Grimmjow growled at himself, tearing his eyes away from the others. 'The kid's making me think again.' he just got his mind cleared and he didn't want that to be engulfed in that confusing cloud that the oranget gave him. "I don't want you." he said seriously, still avoiding a connection between their eyes. He turned back to his exit, glaring at his pale associate.
"Grimmjow!"
"What?" the blunet yelled in anger, turning once again to the teenaged shinigami.
"Look me in the eye..." the berry looked angry now. "And say that again." why the Hell did he keep freezing up like that? Why was this kid suddenly acting so determined? Did he really think that he could convince him? Fuck him. Grimmjow took a deep breath before returning the others glare.
"We must get going, the shinigami are on their way." Ulquiorra stated calmly but the other arrancar ignored him, focusing solely on the soul reaper below him.
"I. Don't. Want. You." the oranget's eyes widened and the arrancar just smirked. Finally, he was in control. "In fact, I hate you." his eyes started to water as the man he loved stepped into the darkness to leave him yet again for the third time.
"Even if you hate me..." he heard Ichigo mumble. Against everything his mind screamed at him, he turned his head to see the boy that managed to fuck him up so badly. His head was down and he didn't move for a few moments before slowly raising his head to give Grimmjow the sweetest smile he could manage through his tears.
'Shit...'
"I'll still love you." Ichigo said sweetly. Grimmjow quickly turned away and the garganta slowly closed.
"Quit yer dreaming..." he mumbled sadly just before the garganta closed. Once they were gone, Ichigo let the full force of his tears out. He flopped down onto his bed, hugging his pillow to his face as he sobbed and screamed into it. When he heard the light sounds of footsteps, he looked up to see Rukia in his windowsill and Renji standing outside. The small girl gasped when she saw his tears, never before had anyone seen him cry. What had happened?
"Ichigo what's wrong?" she asked, kneeling on his bed to place her hand on his cheek gently.
"The arrancar were just here, weren't they? What did they want?" Renji asked, sticking his head into the room. Anger suddenly filled the berry and he slapped the girl's hand away and shoved her toward the window.
"Get out!" he yelled as he did so.
"Ichigo what the Hell is wrong with you?" Renji shouted as he grabbed his partner to keep her from falling off the bed and hurting herself.
"Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!" he repeatedly yelled as he shook his head violently, his fingers tangled in his hair, gripping the bright strands tightly. Seriously... what the Hell had happened to him?
"Ichigo please calm down." Rukia pleaded before grabbing his shoulders tightly as if telling him that she was there and she wanted to help. "Ichigo just tell me what-" she was forced to stop when the oranget punched her, sending her off the bed. Seeing this, Renji jumped on top of him, pinning him down.
"Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!" he struggled against the man above him but in this state, he wasn't a threat.
"What the Hell is wrong with you?" the other yelled. Ichigo slowly let up on struggling as his voice lowered and fresh tears flowed out of his eyes.
"Leave me alone... leave me alone... just leave me alone..."
"Answer me-" the red head stopped when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked over to see its owner - Rukia.
"Leave him." Renji growled, glaring down at the sobbing boy. "It's the best thing we can do for him right now." the girl said calmly and the other seemed to be thinking about it.
"Whatever." he finally said as he got off of him. The moment Renji was off, Ichigo curled into a ball, facing the wall as he continuously repeated that "he was gone." What was that supposed to mean and who was he talking about? As they started out, Rukia looked back at her friend, feeling like she was somehow guilty.
"If you ever need us-"
"GET! OUT!" he yelled as he pushed the girl out of his window before slamming it shut. The glass shook and he thought that the window might shatter but right now, he honestly didn't care about anything.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra walked down the halls of Los Noches in silence. Grimmjow watched the other who walked in front of him, trying to figure out what he was thinking even though it was an impossible task. He knew what the pale Espada was going to do, he'd wait until after he explained how the mission went then he would bring up everything that happened between him and the Kurosaki kid. Then Aizen would decide that since Ichigo wanted to be here, surely the "god" would send for him, and he'd pin Ichigo in Grimmjow's room, saying that the boy only wanted to be there to be with Grimmjow.
"We're here." Ulquiorra said, knocking the other out of thought. He hadn't realized that he had spaced out like that but he said nothing as Ulquiorra opened the big double doors and they walked in. Standing in front of Aizen's oversized throne were Yammy, Luppi, Wonderweiss, and the girl that had come to join them to "protect her friends," Ichigo being one of them. The brunet greeted them as Grimmjow dropped the limp body of the rouge arrancar which had been given to him by his fellow Espada to carry. Someone came in and took the girl wordlessly. She'd most likely be tortured until she told them everything that she had found out either that or she would be a good little girl and just tell them. Either way, she was going to die no matter how you look at it. Aizen started rambling on about Orihime and her powers or whatever. Ulquiorra was among the others but the blunet stayed a ways behind everyone else. He didn't want anything to do with this until he heard something about him and his left arm.
"Impossible! That's crazy Lord Aizen, it can't be done! Grimmjow? Director General Tosen turned his arm into ashes!" the red headed girl turned to see the one she was supposed to heal as Luppi continued on though no one was listening to him and his annoying ass voice. "How is she going to heal something that doesn't exist?" Orihime started walking over to the blunet. "She's not a god!" Grimmjow watched the girl carefully as she stood in front of him, barely coming up to his chest. Could she really give him his arm back?
"Santen Kesshun." she said quietly before two pedals of her hair clips took to the air in golden streaks before moving over Grimmjow's left side, creating a solid gold shield over it. "Now I... I reject."
"Hey! Are you listening girl?" Luppi yelled as he spun around to face the two behind him. "If you're putting on an act in a pathetic attempt to save yourself, you might as well stop it!" he pointed an accusing finger at the girl. "Should I see proof you haven't any power and there's no reason to keep someone like you-" he stopped, seeing that the blunet's arm was in the process of forming itself underneath the golden glow. "A-alive." he finished, staring at the arm that wasn't there just a few moments ago. "Wha... h-h-how?" Grimmjow just stared at his new left arm in both amazement and disbelief. "This is beyond the point of healing... wha-what sorcery is this? What did you do girl?" he yelled, trying to find a way that would make it seem as if Orihime really had no powers. Aizen went on to explain what he had gathered about her powers but of course Grimmjow wasn't listening. He just got his arm back and the only thing he was interested in was seeing if everything worked the way it should. He turned over and clenched it into a fist, observing it as he did so.
"Hey girl." Grimmjow called and she turned to see him. He turned around at pointed to his back. "Come heal one more thing." she walked back over to him and began her work. Seeing this, Luppi turned back to him, a bit of fear running through him.
"Just what do you think you're doing Grimmjow?" he growled as the scar over the six tattooed on the lower right side of Grimmjow's back went away as if it was never there. Without answering, the former sixth Espada turned his head to the other, revealing his murderous grin. He was suddenly in front of the sixth with his arm through his chest. "Grimmjow... you bastard." Luppi wheezed out.
"You're days are done. Goodbye..." he lifted his hand up, his fingers curled over his palm. "Mr. ..." a red cero started to form in the palm of his hand. "Ex number six." he fired the cero and when it cleared, the man in front of him no longer had anything above his waist. He was gone. Dead. Murdered. What was left of the body fell to the floor and sixth Espada started to laugh devilishly. "It's back! My power's back! The sixth Espada is Grimmjow again!" Yammy just glared at him like he was crazy, Wonderweiss watched curiously like always, Ulquiorra kept his eyes closed as if he didn't want to see it, and Orihime stared at him in complete fear. None of them mattered to Grimmjow, just had just gotten his arm back and had taken back his rightful title as the sixth Espada. What else did he have to worry about? What else did he have to care about?
... ... ...
As Grimmjow walked into his room, he locked the door, even though he knew it was pointless, and leaned up against it, glaring down at the floor.
'What's his game? What is he up to? Blackmail? No that's not like him.' the more he thought about it, the more confused and frustrated he got. "What the Hell are you up to Ulquiorra?" he growled as if said person could hear him. He walked over to his bed and lied down. The fourth hadn't told Aizen about what happened with Ichigo. The question was why? 'He'll eventually tell Aizen and I'll be forced to see the kid every day. Most likely the kid would sneak into my bed and try to make a few moves and...' he stopped his thinking right there before turning to slam his head into the wall, feeling a little bit blood rolling down his face. Why the fuck did that thought arouse him? He turned his head to see the door when he heard a knock. 'Who the Hell knocks around here? Why don't they just walk in like everyone else? It'd save me the effort of getting up to answer it.' he thought as he walked over, unlocked the door, and opened it to see who was on the other side. Of course... Ulquiorra. "Oh it's you." he said rudely as he walked back over to his bed to sit back down. "What the Hell do you want?"
"We need to talk." he said simply as he shut and locked the door. Grimmjow growled, knowing what he wanted to about but the question of why he didn't tell Aizen still stood. "What is going on between you and Ichigo Kurosaki?"
"Hmp how the fuck should I know?" Ulquiorra just stared blankly at him. "The kid's in love with me but there's nothing "going on" and there's defiantly no "us." There never will be and as you heard me, I hate him and want to kill him. There's nothing else to it." the panther answered, dismissing the subject. If he really wanted to kill him, why was he just sitting here with him and not making any move to attack the boy?
"I see." the pale man said calmly before walking over to the other, picking up a cloth along the way. Once he got to him, he pressed the towel to the blunet's bleeding forehead so it could absorb the flowing crimson liquid.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing?" he growled though made no move to stop him. In truth, he was a bit curious to know why he was suddenly acting so out of character, he was acting... kind. Grimmjow didn't like it one bit. He liked the other more when he was just an emotionless bastard that never bothered him.
"Attending to your injury."
"Well stop it." he growled, pushing his hand away. "I don't want your pity."
"This is not pity Grimmjow." the pale man insisted, pressing the towel back to his forehead. "This is what is known as compassion." he stated as if he was experimenting with the emotion. The bastard. Since when did he give a shit about emotions?
"Tsk... fine just hurry it up." they stood in the silence that surrounded them as Ulquiorra cleaned his wound. Once that was done, he sat next to Grimmjow on his bed. "What are you doing?" Grimmjow asked suspiciously.
"So Ichigo Kurosaki loves you?"
'This guy's really starting to piss me off. Since when did he fucking care about anything?' "I guess but what does it matter?" they were quiet for some time.
"What is love?"
"Huh?" Grimmjow asked, shocked by the sudden question. 'Okay he's really acting weird.'
"What is love?" Ulquiorra asked again, turning his head the meet he others eyes.
"Uh... well..." the sixth looked away from the green eyes that bore into him as he thought of a possible way to explain it. Why was he even trying? He didn't care and this wasn't his problem. "How the Hell should I know?" he shouted even though he did know, he knew it very well though he didn't yet understand it. "If you want to know so badly, go ask the damn kid yourself!" Grimmjow exclaimed as he lied down, turning onto his side so that his back was to the other. Why was he suddenly so interested? Geez the guy was way too hard to even bother trying to understand. Without another word, Ulquiorra stood and exited the room. Grimmjow sighed, touching his forehead where Ulquiorra had aided. 'Damn it... what's up with him?' he let his mind wander on that subject but in no time at all, his thoughts turned to Ichigo.
"I don't want you-in fact I hate you."
He felt his chest, feeling for a deep wound though he found none. If his chest didn't have any injuries... then why did something beneath it hurt so much?
... ... ...
As the fourth Espada walked down the walls of Los Noches with no real direction, he thought, perhaps a bit too much. 'Love...' he stopped in the middle of the hall when he decided... he was going to find out what it was.