FicWad

I never said I was perfect,
Never once claimed to be.
You set me on this pedestal,
Set standards too high to reach.
I did what I could,
but always fell short.
So here we are again.
Back to a place filled with silence too loud
And darkness too bright.
A place where only my thoughts and your words can reach
I'm already drowning in an ocean of purple.
The world dissolves away,
Swirling into a mass of colors
And disformed shapes.
Which one am I?
I'm not too sure anymore.
You killed the girl I used to be
But I allowed you to.
And you'll never know the scars you caused,
The burns that brought me sweet relief.
Maybe you'll never notice when I'm gone.
Maybe you never noticed I was here.
My constant cries for help go unheard
By your ignorant ears.
Maybe the pills will listen,
Or maybe a rope,
Maybe even the embrace of a gun.
I'm sorry.
For the disappointment,
For everything.
I'm sorry.
What makes me sorry most
Is you'll never see this apology.

I'm not sure what this is.