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They say I'm a skeleton

A bag of bones

Like I shouldn't exist

They say my ribs

And hips stick out

That when I lie down

My hipbones rise higher than the flesh

Of my stomach

They say I need to eat

I do

I eat right

Then they say I'm sick

That I make myself ill

In the interests of beauty

I did that a few times

Because I felt like I was

I was what I was told I was

Ugly and fat

Good for fucking nothing

They looked at me

Like I was a dying spider

Like I wasn't worth the effort

Like I wasn't human

I got asked if I was okay

I snapped

And said I was fine

And caused a riot

They all stared at me

And I hate the attention

I hate it

I never meant to make them worry

But still I ran

I ran, ran, ran

All the way to the bathroom

And crouched over that toilet

And slid my fingers in

It came up

Everything

Then someone came in

I hurried out

And they sat there

"Are you okay?"

I nodded

Please leave me alone

"No you're not,

You're shaking"

I'm not okay, okay?

I'm a sick human

I am disgusting

I hate myself

I hate what I was

I hate what I am

I hate what I'll be

I hate what I'm becoming

I try not to listen

Try to avoid seeing the

Skinny models everywhere

They make me feel like

I don't stand a chance

But then sometimes,

I do.

I feel that

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone,

Honey, if you stay, you'll be forgiven,

Nothing you can say can set me going home

But then

I feel like a piece of clay

For them to mold

For them to make what they want

But I can't be everything

I can't be tanned

And beach blonde

And blue-eyed

I can only ever be

Hazel-eyed

Mousy brown

Skinny, fat, pretty, ugly

I can only ever be me.

I just hope they realize that too.


A/N: This was inspired by 'Cancer' and 'The Ghost of You' by My Chemical Romance, and it's sort of Mikey's point of view but mine too. The events mentioned in the poem are 100% true. I did make myself sick, I did snap at a teacher and I did find a savior.
The 'them' mentioned are the bullies, society, and the ones that mocked me.
This is me and Mikey's poem.
-C xoxo