FicWad

Authors Note: I'm sorry for the long gap. There are too many issues and too many crashes. I needed to heal myself before I could write it down. I'm still sick, but getting better. I hope this short update makes you feel better as well. Thank you so much reading. - A.

Brushes kissed the paper, leaving trails of its mark. Red, blue, yellow and more. Splatters landed harshly, before softly settling in to the white. The colors mixing and dripping, giving life to the harsh marks left by the initial sketch.

"Don't move too much!" Amelie said playfully as Gerard leaned back the balcony. Gerard gave a small laugh and went back to whining, asking if it was done.

Amelie stepped back to stare at the painting, then at her lover. He was leaning back, the sunlight on half his face, a sly smile directed for the audience. Her. The sketch was barely noticeable, and drips of paint were scattered through out. He was painted as if the colors exploded from within and dripped to every angle.

He was happy. So was she.

"Amelie...c'mon. I know you're done. You're just prolonging my agony" Gerard whined some more.

"Oh please, you prolong my agony all the time, love" Amelie said softly, causing Gerard to raise an eyebrow. She was sure he was getting hard again.

"Fine, come over. I think I'm done with this painting" waving her hand and calling Gerard over before she turned to take a sip of tea.

Gerard rushed over and finally got to see how Amelie would draw him. The lines were deeply sketched, the pressure of the pencil must have been firm. A few scratches around his lips and eyes showed her uncertainty on the areas. The paint splattered everywhere, going out from the middle of the piece to all sides. It dripped downwards. Everything was bright and happy, and his smile was perfectly placed. But Gerard knew how deep the pencil was pushed to make this and wondered what Amelie was thinking.

Amelie kept her back to Gerard, looking at her cup of tea. Her reflection seemed a stranger to her. Her smile, happy, yet her eyes were still sad.

Gerard turned around and hugged her from behind, kissing her head. Amelie put down the cup slowly and started to cry.

"Hey....hey..sugar..what's wrong....you can tell me" Gerard whispered, kissing in between his words.

Amelie turned around and kissed him back, then taking his hand as they walked to the couch and sat down. She laid down on his lap, staring at him. "I don't know...there's still that part of me thats just damaged. I know I take meds, we're working things out, but its still there. No matter what we do, no matter what I see, I still feel so lost..and I feel bad that I make you feel bad"

"Tell me more" Gerard urged her, stroking her hair.

"I feel bad because you're trying to make me happy, but I still feel bad and I don't know why...and I can't point it out. It doesn't make sense. But you try so hard..I'm just going to wear you out with this relationship...should we really stay together..I...I..." Amelie broke off crying, open and vulnerable.

"I love you" Gerard said, not caring about everything he heard. He cradled her head and kissed her. He moved down until they were both laying there, and he kept kissing her face, wiping away the tears.

"We're going to burn this relationship off, sooner or later. Tears don't end you know. You're going to keep wiping them off until you get sick" Amelie whimpered.

"Never" Gerard said confidently, kissing her lips and running his hands through her body. Amelie kissed back but the sensations betrayed her. What if he was only in it for the sex?

"Gerard please stop" Amelie choked out, crying some more. Gerard immediately stopped and held her instead.

"I will always be here for you. In the short time we've known each other, you have done nothing but made me fall in love. I'm happy. I've learned a lot from my divorce. I've learned to be happy and live for the moment. But all that was just wasted away until I saw you in that train. You gave me a jump start. A volt that brought me back to life. I'm happy with you and I'm sure as hell will always be. Accept that" Gerard said, never breaking away from Amelie and her soft brown eyes.

He knew she was a mess. But he knew she could get better.

"What makes you so sure?" Amelie asked

"I was just as fucked up as you are. If I can make it out, you can too." Gerard said softly, kissing her again.

And this time, Amelie did not resist.