Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

She Couldn't Win

by DisenchatedDestroya 3 reviews

Ryan's been dumped. Short RYDON one-shot. Read, review, rate and feel my love! :P

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2012-07-16 - Updated: 2012-07-16 - 1188 words - Complete

She Couldn't Win

I look over the note again, the only thing telling me that an hour has passed since my last reading being that a few of the tear stains have evaporated into the hot midday sun. Doesn’t mean that they weren’t ever there though, because they sure as hell were. And that’s why I hate the note so goddamned much.

I don’t love you, I’m just passing the time. You could love me, if I knew how to lie.

It’s just two little sentences, two strings of silly little words, but it was still enough to make me rush over to my best friend’s house at two o’clock this morning after a rather worrying phone call begging me for company half an hour prior to my arrival.

All because of those motherfucking words. That’s all she left Ryan with; no real explanation other than the girl Ry has devoted the past eight months of his life to, the girl who was his entire fucking world, had just been stringing him along and couldn’t be bothered to keep up the lie anymore.

Of course I’d gotten here as quickly as the local speed limit would allow, but it just wasn’t anywhere near quick enough. I still found him as a sobbing wreck, completely drunk out of his mind on way too much vodka for his fragile little body to be able to handle. So I just pried the bottle out of his limp hand, took the note away from him and carried him to his bed. Obliging when he reached out for me to snuggle up with him.

I know this might sound horrible and I really hate myself for thinking it, but; I’m happy that she dumped him. Obviously I’m not happy that Ryan’s devastated beyond belief, but I’m happy that I don’t have to watch her all over him at every possible second.

What’s the point in pretending? I’m fucking overjoyed that he isn’t hers anymore; that he might just one day soon be mine.

Not yet though, not whilst the wounds are still too fresh to even consider healing. They will heal though, with time and with my soothing hands aiding the process, they will heal. And then Ryan will be ready to love again. He’ll be ready to love and I’ll still be as ready as I have been for the past five years to be loved.

“I am out of my mind.”

At the, somehow somewhat profound, groan of barely-there syllables, I turn my head down from my sitting position at the top end of the bed so that I’m leant against the wall; Ryan’s upper body still slumped dejected against my side. As I look down he groggily unpeels himself from me, robbing my body of his sun-like warmth and making me raise my eyebrows in questioning.

“Who could love me? I must be out of my mind.” He rubs at his red-rimmed eyes, more tears on top of this morning’s torrent slipping down his scarily gaunt cheeks. “She was just passing the time, Bren. Just like everyone else who’s ever ‘loved’ me.”

With that he burrows his face into my chest, making my arms instinctively curl around his skeletal body.

That’s another reason I’m glad they’re over; she wasn’t any good for Ry, she didn’t take care of him properly. Not like I do. She didn’t pay attention to his eating and sleeping like I knew to when we were sharing an apartment together. Hell, she didn’t even listen to me and Spence when we told her my precious Ry needed help.

But Ry couldn’t see how bad she was for him. And now she’s broken him, like a toddler throwing an unwanted plaything out of it’s pram. Ryan isn’t a toy, though; he’s important, special. He’s a human being.

And he’s hurt.

“The sun was always in her eyes.” I whisper, thinking about how she always wore these stupid great sunglasses. Even indoors, even in the dark. It’s like she thought she was better than seeing all of us hanging around her almighty glow.

Ryan nods against me, thankfully understanding me like he always does without me having to waste time explaining myself.

“She didn’t ever see me.” He offers me a small smile, a slight reflection of his bounding beam twinkling in his honey irises. His lips turn into a disgusted little scowl, an overdramatic one that makes me giggle my approval at his playing along. Just like we used to play all the time. Before she came along. “But that girl had so much love.”

In response I stick my tuck out, looking very much like a little kid seeing an icky old frog for the first time. Just like how I felt whenever I saw her pandering over my Ryan. She only did it because she knew the more she was with him the more attention the press would pay her. But Ryan was too in love to see that.

That’s okay, though. I’m here to help him see now. Help him see and help him heal.

“She’d wanna kiss you all the time.” I make a kissy face, revelling in the way it makes Ryan chuckle at least a little. “Yeah, she’d wanna kiss you all the time.”

The laughter quiets after a while, leaving a comfortable silence in it’s place. Comfortable because Ryan’s cuddled up to me in bed, all thoughts of that horrendous bitch forgotten, if only for a little while. Sure, in a few hours he’ll most likely be back to crying about that time he took her for a moonlit walk on the beach, but right now it’s like the old Ryan’s back.

The one that I thought that stupid little slut had killed with her manipulative evilness.

But she doesn’t matter right now, only Ryan does. Ryan and my thoughts of Ryan; of what I would be doing to him in this bed right now if only she hadn’t gotten in the way.

I think it’s time to see if I can catch a dream.

“Would it be bad if I wanted to kiss you all the time, Ry?”

He sits bolt upright, eyes wide with something that I can’t quite place. I’m not worried, though. Not in the slightest. Because our hands have somehow become intertwined.

And Ryan’s showing no sign of letting go; only clinging on tighter.

“She couldn’t ever win me.”

And only I know why; because I did long ago.

A/N: So this is in response to a request for a Rydon based on “She Had the World”. I’m not too sure if I like this one, so sorry if it sucks like a whore. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think! :)
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