Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Half Alive
2- Comfort Zone
2 reviews“I meant sleeping beside someone, just to have the comfort of another person near you.”
0Unrated
Madeline nervously entered Gerard’s apartment, eyes scanning over all of the boxes upon the floor. Gerard stood in place, after shutting the door behind them. He watched in amusement as she walked further in to his apartment, taking in everything that she could. It was just so weird for her to be in another person’s home. It had been too long. “You don’t have a bed yet?” Madeline finally asked, glancing in to Gerard’s bedroom.
“It hasn’t arrived yet. I still have more coming but the moving truck was delayed by a day.”
Madeline nodded, trying desperately to remember what she’d already asked Gerard, if anything. “So, why’d you move?” She finally found it to be a safe question, hoping she hadn’t already asked it. She couldn’t remember asking it. She tended to go in to panic mode after her nightmares though, and she had trouble remembering things that happened immediately after.
“I actually moved so that I could be closer to my little brother.” Gerard said, smiling sadly. Madeline could tell the subject was a sore one. “He’s in need of … Well, he’s just in need.”
Madeline nodded, “It’s nice that you moved to help him.” She could instantly tell that Gerard was a good guy. His positive vibes were just too strong to deny.
Gerard just shrugged, “It’s what brothers do.” Then he grinned again, “Do you have any brothers, or sisters?”
Madeline paused, tears pricking at the backs of her eyelids. She quickly closed and opened her eyes multiple times, just to fight them away. “I had an older brother but he- he passed away.” The words were hard to force out, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to explain without breaking down… That’s why it was easier to say ‘passed away’ instead of ‘murdered.’
One statement brought quiet sympathy, while the other brought lots and lots of unwanted questions. Questions were something that Madeline just couldn’t deal with. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to handle them.
“I’m sorry.” Gerard murmured, a frown pressing its way on to his face. “Loss is never easy to deal with.”
“It isn’t.” Madeline agreed, nervously brushing hair out of her face. “So, where should we start?” She glanced around, wanting to get off of the sensitive subject as quickly as possible.
**
(Madeline's POV)
“Would you like some coffee?” Gerard asked, after an hour of unpacking.
“Sure.” I glanced up; caught in the intense stare he was giving me. Nervously, I wondered if I had something on my face. I definitely wasn’t used to being around people, and it was showing.
Gerard disappeared in to the kitchen for a few minutes before returning with two cups. He handed me one, “Want sugar or cream?” Usually I would but I didn’t really want to be picky, and have him fetching a million things.
“No, I’m fine.” I took a small sip of the heated substance, “Thank you.”
Gerard smiled, taking a large gulp from his own cup. “So, I saw you looking at the paintings. What do you think of them, if you don’t mind telling me?” He sat down beside me on the floor, looking as comfortable as could be.
I glanced at the paintings spread out in front of me; I’d been studying them for several minutes. “They are beautiful and so… light. They actually inspire happiness.” It had been a long time since anything inspired happiness in me.
“They are my newest collection. I was trying for lighter.” Gerard admitted.
“You painted these?” Wow.
“Yeah, I did.” Gerard grinned like an excited child, “You’re the first person who has seen these.”
Wow, again. “They really are beautiful.” I repeated, staring at them once again.
“Would you like one?”
“I- no, I can’t take one of these.” I blushed, stealing a glance at Gerard. He was studying my expression intently.
“I would like it if you took one.”
“Why?”
“You said they inspire happiness. You’re someone who needs that.” That was true, but it still hurt to hear it. I hated being the girl that needed help being happy. When I was younger I never thought being happy was something I’d have to work towards.
“I really like this one.” I pointed to the painting in the middle. It was a swirl of colors, all beautifully accenting each other. I felt as if I could fall in to the painting, and the swirls would take me to a happy place; the ultimate happy place.
It was something I could get lost in.
“I’ll hang it in your apartment once you pick out a place.” Gerard said, grinning.
“Thank you.” I smiled in return, feeling the heat flow through my entire body.
“So, what do you do for fun around here?”
I sighed, wondering just how weird he would find me. “I usually hide away in my apartment, reading books and taking online courses.” Unfortunately online courses were only available for certain classes so I had put off some important classes, due to my horrible phobia of being out in the world, near people.
“Well, that sounds delightful.” Gerard just continued grinning, “I usually hide away inside and paint.” He admitted, “I’m not sure if it’s just the creative side of me… or the side of me that seeks out safety.”
“It could be both.”
Gerard nodded, “You’re right. It could be, and probably is, both.”
I couldn’t find any suitable remark so I remained quiet, sipping the coffee which had quickly gone cold. I still sipped it, just to have something to do.
“How about we both go out of our comfort zone today and check out the zoo? I’ve always been a fan of the one here.”
“So you used to live here?” I asked, nervously wondering if I should take him up on his offer. I loved the Zoo and seeing all of the beautiful animals but… as he said, it would definitely be out of my comfort zone. After so long, was I still not ready? Would I ever be ready, if I didn’t just force myself to be ready?
“I did. I moved away for a short while, and my brother continued living here. Quite recently my parents … Well, that’s a story for another time.” Gerard shot me a quick smile, “So what do you say?”
“Sure.” I smiled nervously, setting the cup down in front of me. “But don’t you need to get some sleep?” He had to be tired.
“I could try but… I don’t sleep much nowadays.” Gerard admitted.
A wry smile forced its way on to my face, “Ditto.” I bitterly commented.
Gerard nodded, “Tried sleeping pills?”
“They didn’t work.”
“Hot bath before bed?”
“Felt good but those good feelings faded once I hit the bed.”
“Ever tried sleeping on a couch, or the floor? Maybe it would kill the nightmares, or at least temporarily relieve you of them.”
“I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.” I’d tried everything I could think of, and that multiple doctors could think of.
Gerard nodded, “Well, if I can think of anything else I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“I’ll try anything at this point.”
“Try sleeping with someone?” Gerard asked.
My eyes widened in surprise, “Er, I don’t think sex is the answer in this situation.” Was he propositioning me?
Gerard broke in to laughter, eyes crinkling in happiness. “I meant sleeping beside someone, just to have the comfort of another person near you.”
“Oh.” I could feel the heat warming my cheeks. “Not many guys like sleeping beside a girl that cries out or screams in her sleep. I tried it a few times. Once I was too nervous to even close my eyes, the second I cried out and he instantly woke me… too disturbed to stay. The third one…” I swallowed around the lump growing in my throat, “The third one actually heard me scream. He um… He really liked it.”
“Huh?” Gerard glanced at me in utter confusion. “You mean he really didn’t like it, right?”
“No, I mean he really liked it. I found a guy that happened to get off on girls screaming. He got really excited when I did and asked me if I could scream like that while we… had sex. It gave him a thrill… thrill of the chase or something like that.” I squeezed my eyes shut, “He’s someone I don’t generally talk about.”
Gerard nodded, “I’m sorry. That would be weird.”
I laughed at the simplicity of that, “Yeah, weird… That’s what it was.”
Gerard grinned, “Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better way to say it.”
“I think it fit perfectly.” I replied, glancing around the somewhat empty apartment again. “I don’t feel like we got much done.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”
“Thanks.” I looked down at my fingers nervously.
“For?”
“Checking under my bed for monsters, and not laughing at me because I scream at nightmares, things I know aren’t real… yet still get terrified of.”
Gerard smiled kindly, “You know what I’m going to get you?”
“What?”
“A dream catcher.”
Well, that was something I’d never tried before.
“It hasn’t arrived yet. I still have more coming but the moving truck was delayed by a day.”
Madeline nodded, trying desperately to remember what she’d already asked Gerard, if anything. “So, why’d you move?” She finally found it to be a safe question, hoping she hadn’t already asked it. She couldn’t remember asking it. She tended to go in to panic mode after her nightmares though, and she had trouble remembering things that happened immediately after.
“I actually moved so that I could be closer to my little brother.” Gerard said, smiling sadly. Madeline could tell the subject was a sore one. “He’s in need of … Well, he’s just in need.”
Madeline nodded, “It’s nice that you moved to help him.” She could instantly tell that Gerard was a good guy. His positive vibes were just too strong to deny.
Gerard just shrugged, “It’s what brothers do.” Then he grinned again, “Do you have any brothers, or sisters?”
Madeline paused, tears pricking at the backs of her eyelids. She quickly closed and opened her eyes multiple times, just to fight them away. “I had an older brother but he- he passed away.” The words were hard to force out, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to explain without breaking down… That’s why it was easier to say ‘passed away’ instead of ‘murdered.’
One statement brought quiet sympathy, while the other brought lots and lots of unwanted questions. Questions were something that Madeline just couldn’t deal with. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to handle them.
“I’m sorry.” Gerard murmured, a frown pressing its way on to his face. “Loss is never easy to deal with.”
“It isn’t.” Madeline agreed, nervously brushing hair out of her face. “So, where should we start?” She glanced around, wanting to get off of the sensitive subject as quickly as possible.
**
(Madeline's POV)
“Would you like some coffee?” Gerard asked, after an hour of unpacking.
“Sure.” I glanced up; caught in the intense stare he was giving me. Nervously, I wondered if I had something on my face. I definitely wasn’t used to being around people, and it was showing.
Gerard disappeared in to the kitchen for a few minutes before returning with two cups. He handed me one, “Want sugar or cream?” Usually I would but I didn’t really want to be picky, and have him fetching a million things.
“No, I’m fine.” I took a small sip of the heated substance, “Thank you.”
Gerard smiled, taking a large gulp from his own cup. “So, I saw you looking at the paintings. What do you think of them, if you don’t mind telling me?” He sat down beside me on the floor, looking as comfortable as could be.
I glanced at the paintings spread out in front of me; I’d been studying them for several minutes. “They are beautiful and so… light. They actually inspire happiness.” It had been a long time since anything inspired happiness in me.
“They are my newest collection. I was trying for lighter.” Gerard admitted.
“You painted these?” Wow.
“Yeah, I did.” Gerard grinned like an excited child, “You’re the first person who has seen these.”
Wow, again. “They really are beautiful.” I repeated, staring at them once again.
“Would you like one?”
“I- no, I can’t take one of these.” I blushed, stealing a glance at Gerard. He was studying my expression intently.
“I would like it if you took one.”
“Why?”
“You said they inspire happiness. You’re someone who needs that.” That was true, but it still hurt to hear it. I hated being the girl that needed help being happy. When I was younger I never thought being happy was something I’d have to work towards.
“I really like this one.” I pointed to the painting in the middle. It was a swirl of colors, all beautifully accenting each other. I felt as if I could fall in to the painting, and the swirls would take me to a happy place; the ultimate happy place.
It was something I could get lost in.
“I’ll hang it in your apartment once you pick out a place.” Gerard said, grinning.
“Thank you.” I smiled in return, feeling the heat flow through my entire body.
“So, what do you do for fun around here?”
I sighed, wondering just how weird he would find me. “I usually hide away in my apartment, reading books and taking online courses.” Unfortunately online courses were only available for certain classes so I had put off some important classes, due to my horrible phobia of being out in the world, near people.
“Well, that sounds delightful.” Gerard just continued grinning, “I usually hide away inside and paint.” He admitted, “I’m not sure if it’s just the creative side of me… or the side of me that seeks out safety.”
“It could be both.”
Gerard nodded, “You’re right. It could be, and probably is, both.”
I couldn’t find any suitable remark so I remained quiet, sipping the coffee which had quickly gone cold. I still sipped it, just to have something to do.
“How about we both go out of our comfort zone today and check out the zoo? I’ve always been a fan of the one here.”
“So you used to live here?” I asked, nervously wondering if I should take him up on his offer. I loved the Zoo and seeing all of the beautiful animals but… as he said, it would definitely be out of my comfort zone. After so long, was I still not ready? Would I ever be ready, if I didn’t just force myself to be ready?
“I did. I moved away for a short while, and my brother continued living here. Quite recently my parents … Well, that’s a story for another time.” Gerard shot me a quick smile, “So what do you say?”
“Sure.” I smiled nervously, setting the cup down in front of me. “But don’t you need to get some sleep?” He had to be tired.
“I could try but… I don’t sleep much nowadays.” Gerard admitted.
A wry smile forced its way on to my face, “Ditto.” I bitterly commented.
Gerard nodded, “Tried sleeping pills?”
“They didn’t work.”
“Hot bath before bed?”
“Felt good but those good feelings faded once I hit the bed.”
“Ever tried sleeping on a couch, or the floor? Maybe it would kill the nightmares, or at least temporarily relieve you of them.”
“I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.” I’d tried everything I could think of, and that multiple doctors could think of.
Gerard nodded, “Well, if I can think of anything else I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“I’ll try anything at this point.”
“Try sleeping with someone?” Gerard asked.
My eyes widened in surprise, “Er, I don’t think sex is the answer in this situation.” Was he propositioning me?
Gerard broke in to laughter, eyes crinkling in happiness. “I meant sleeping beside someone, just to have the comfort of another person near you.”
“Oh.” I could feel the heat warming my cheeks. “Not many guys like sleeping beside a girl that cries out or screams in her sleep. I tried it a few times. Once I was too nervous to even close my eyes, the second I cried out and he instantly woke me… too disturbed to stay. The third one…” I swallowed around the lump growing in my throat, “The third one actually heard me scream. He um… He really liked it.”
“Huh?” Gerard glanced at me in utter confusion. “You mean he really didn’t like it, right?”
“No, I mean he really liked it. I found a guy that happened to get off on girls screaming. He got really excited when I did and asked me if I could scream like that while we… had sex. It gave him a thrill… thrill of the chase or something like that.” I squeezed my eyes shut, “He’s someone I don’t generally talk about.”
Gerard nodded, “I’m sorry. That would be weird.”
I laughed at the simplicity of that, “Yeah, weird… That’s what it was.”
Gerard grinned, “Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better way to say it.”
“I think it fit perfectly.” I replied, glancing around the somewhat empty apartment again. “I don’t feel like we got much done.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”
“Thanks.” I looked down at my fingers nervously.
“For?”
“Checking under my bed for monsters, and not laughing at me because I scream at nightmares, things I know aren’t real… yet still get terrified of.”
Gerard smiled kindly, “You know what I’m going to get you?”
“What?”
“A dream catcher.”
Well, that was something I’d never tried before.
Sign up to rate and review this story