Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Drugs Make Us Numb; They Don't Keep Us Sane
-Romeo must die before the ending.-
**
The blood had its own scent and it was plastered on to my hands, across my face. I could taste it and I loved it. It was so intoxicating so… freeing. That’s what I felt I’d done. I’d freed Sade, just as I’d freed the others. She was no longer confined to her body. I had freed her, and my payment was her blood. And oh what a payment it was.
I took a deep breath, inhaling the strong scent.
Nothing had ever smelled sweeter other than…
“Gerard?” Her voice was so soft, exposing her vulnerability.
/Rian, go away. I’m not right in the head right now./
I tried to speak the words but I couldn’t, as I turned, my eyes fixed upon her frightened face. She let the mask fall to the ground as her eyes took in the bloody scene.
Rian stood in place, not daring to come any closer to me. It was for the best. I was shaking, my addiction having grown stronger. I thought she was changing me. I thought I could be a good man for her.
I thought that maybe she could save my soul; I never realized I was condemning hers.
“Stay.” I mumbled, staring her down. Stay away from me.
Rian eyed me warily, “Gerard-“ She stopped, eyes falling upon Sade’s dismembered body again. Well, partially dismembered. All I’d had this time was the knife in my pocket. I wasn’t cleaning up so well anymore, and I wasn’t nearly as prepared. I cut through her flesh, unable to cut through the bone. I didn’t have the right utensils because I wasn’t ready.
I wasn’t ready anymore because I didn’t want to be like this anymore.
“My head hurts Rian.” I finally whispered, bloody knife falling from my hand. I hadn’t even realized I was tightly holding on to it. Suddenly my hands were both relaxed and I felt the shaking begin to stop, but not for long. What was happening to me? I always thought I had such control. It turned out that control was the last thing I had.
/Stay away from me Rian. I’m not safe to be around right now./
My eyes conveyed the message that I couldn’t bring myself to speak out loud. I never wanted to be a danger to Rian. I never wanted to hurt her. I didn’t think I was capable.
I was capable of anything.
Run from me. Please run from me!
Rian wouldn’t run though. The tears shone in her eyes, and her eyes were finally ripped from Sade’s bloody body and she took a timid step in my direction. “You told me once before-“ Rian swallowed hard, “You told me that you wouldn’t hurt me.”
I don’t want to hurt you. Please don’t let me hurt you.
I worked my jaw but still no words could really come out. Rian took another hesitant step, a frown still placed firmly upon her face. “I was never there for you in the way that I should have been.” Rian mumbled. “Blame me if you need to but don’t blame yourself.”
How could she tell what I was thinking?
“I should have helped you. I should have seen that I could have helped you, had I just tried. Please let me help you Gerard. You don’t have to be like this.” Her voice got softer, and she gestured to my crime scene. “You don’t have to live like this.”
My eyes felt heavy. What was happening to me? “I think I’m going crazy.” I suddenly choked out, tears filling my eyes.
Rian’s expression softened, but she still didn’t turn away from me. “We all get a little crazy sometimes Gerard.”
“I- I’m afraid that I’ll hurt you.”
If you come any closer I know I’ll hurt you.
“Fight it.” Rian stepped closer. She was so close, too close. I couldn’t do this. “Fight the urge to hurt me Gerard. I know you can.”
“How?” I didn’t feel like I could.
I felt like all I had was the blood. The blood drove me mad, it was everywhere, coating me in sin.
“Remember, you told me you loved me. Hold on to that feeling.” Rian begged, taking another step.
Please don’t do this. I’m not strong enough.
**
(Mikey’s POV)
“Boo!” I jumped in surprise as the familiar, alluring voice sounded from behind me.
“Kat?” I turned, smiling. “I was looking everywhere for you.”
“I know. I was watching.” Kat smiled, the black mask, with red siding, really suited her quite well. She looked adorable in it. No, not adorable… She looked sexy. “I guess I just couldn’t stand the suspense.”
My smile grew wider, but the worry that tonight was going to go terribly wrong still nagged at me. “Do you want to get some fresh air?” Miles away.
“I’d rather dance.”
Fuck.
**
(Gerard’s POV)
You’re all I’ve got right now.
“Please Rian. Please don’t come any closer.” My voice was strained, as I attempted to hold myself back. I wanted to be sane. I wanted to be a good guy. I wanted to be the right guy for Rian.
Rian took two more steps, quite quickly. Then she was standing directly in front of me. With trembling fingers she reached up, brushing some of the blood from my face. “You’re going to be okay Gerard.” She assured me, as her soft fingers ran along my jaw and she leaned forward.
Please no.
Rian’s breath played across my face, the delicious scent of peppermint nearly overpowering the smell of blood. “I love you Gerard.” The words sounded so sweet and so sincere, coming from my little angel.
Please no!
“I love you too Rian.” I breathed out in reply, feeling my aching heart beat roughly against my chest. My fingers played in my pockets, finding what I was searching for quickly.
Not her. Anyone but her. Please don’t do this.
Rian’s lips brushed against mine, “You’re stronger than this.” She whispered, “I love you.” She once again repeated the words, which should have warmed my heart. I was too far gone though.
I was too far fucking gone.
The kiss was filled with passion, and Rian was pouring her heart in to it as she tried to show me just how much she loved me. I closed my eyes tightly, the tears pouring freely from my eyes. How could I stop them? I loved Rian so fucking much, so much more than anything else.
Please Rian, please leave me while you have the chance.
The scream was torn from Rian’s lips, muffled by my lips as I kissed harder. As I pressed the knife I’d had hidden in my pocket in to her stomach I felt the warm blood pour out, filling me with so much pain that I could barely breathe.
No.
“No.” I cried out, as Rian fell back. The knife easily slid from her stomach, the blood overpowering my senses. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe with the smell of her blood in the air.
Her eyes widened and I slammed mine shut, as I breathed in deeply. “No.” The word flew from my lips, again and again.
What did I do?
I glanced towards the party, knowing what I had to do.
My monster, hiding inside, had taken everything from me as I tried to quench his filthy habits. I would get the fix it needed; Now that Rian was dead I had nothing to live for.
I would kill them all.
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