Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
It has been 1 ½ months since I’ve last seen Gerard, kissed him, held him. I miss him so much it hurts. This pain in my chest feels like it will never go away. I’ve been drinking to numb to try and numb it but even that doesn’t work. I have even been working 12 hour days sometimes just to keep my mind busy so I wont think about him as much or wonder what he is doing. He calls me almost twice a day, the conversations in the morning are the nicest because we both arnt as drunk. I am destroying myself with the alcohol and I know it, but I still do it. I keep promising myself that once Gerard is back here that it will all be okay, I’ll feel better and eventually give up alcohol.
Gerard usually tells me about his shows, where they are at, what being on the road is like while I tell him the very boring life of me saving animals and doing the same old surgeries. He listens and acts interested but I cant help but think he isn’t interested.
I am sitting here in the kitchen staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. It is 10:00 on a Saturday. Gerard should be awake by now. I get antsy in my seat waiting. I take a sip of my coffee and start to read my book. An hour goes by and the phone rings. I jump up almost spilling my coffee and answer the phone
“Hello?!”-Me
“Hey Babe!”-Gerard
“Hi!” I say cheesily back.
“What are am sitting here in the kitchen staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. It is 10:00 on a Saturday. Gerard should be awake by now. I get antsy in my seat waiting. I take a sip of my coffee and start to read my book. An hour goes by and the phone rings. I jump up almost spilling my coffee and answer the phone
“Hello?!”-Me
“Hey Babe!”-Gerard
“Hi!” I say cheesily back.
“What are you doing?” He asks
“Oh just reading and having some coffee what are you doing?” I ask back.
“Just woke up, the crowd last night was insane, not to mention I was pretty drunk” He says with a laugh.
“Yeah you were…” I say remembering the conversation last night. I could barely understand him because he kept slurring his words.
“Sorry about that, but I miss you so much baby! I am so glad I have this tattoo of you right above my heart just reminds me that you are always there for me” I feel myself blush.
“I wish I was actually there though” I sadly say.
“Me too, but just 2 more months and we are going to be together for a long time!” he says excitedly. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about seeing him again.
“Yeah I cant wait!” I say excitedly back.
“I gotta go though, we are heading for Texas have a long 2 day drive ahead of us” Gerard complains. I sigh. I hate this part saying goodbye.
“Okay well have fun drive safe and call me later okay?” I ask.
“Of course my love. I love you have fun today but not to much, and don’t dress to sexy if you go out tonight I don’t want any other guys even looking at you” He protectively says. I roll my eyes but decide not to argue with him.
“Okay I wont Love you too bye” and with that I hang up, and the pain is my chest again.
I go for the fridge again and pull out a beer and crack it open. I can’t stand this and I walk toward my calendar and look at it. I flip back and see I have not taken a vacation in almost a year. A smile spreads across my lips. I’m going to see Gerard, I’m going to fly out and see him when he arrives in Texas on Monday.
I pick up the phone and call Angela and let her know that I am going to be gone for 3 weeks and that she will have to hold down the fort while I’m gone.
“Umm are you sure Johanna? I mean, what if I can’t get a hold of you?” Angela’s shy voice asks.
“I’ll call you a couple times a day when I get the chance and make sure everything is going to be okay.Oh and if Gerard calls any time I am gone just say I am with a client. I need this Ang, Im sorry I believe in you” I say hopefully boosting her confidence and it works. We arrange everything. Next step booking my flight. I dial the number for the airport and they give me the times for the next flight out. It is a red eye at 11:00 PM Sunday night with a lay over making my arrival time in Austin Texas around 10:00 AM. I book the flight, after I am done I can’t help but jump up and down. I am going to surprise Gerard! Pickles joins me barking and jumping up and down.
“Shit!” I say out loud and look at Pickles. He is looking at me, his big tongue hanging out of his mouth.
I forgot about what the animals! I sit their racking my brain, There is no way in hell that the airlines will accept a Great Dane to ride. I quickly look for my phonebook and flip frantically through the pages until I see a dog sitting business add, I grab the phone and give them a call.
They are very nice and say that they will come over 3 times a day and take care of the animals, I sigh letting the weight fall off of my shoulders. I pat Pickles on the head and head into my bedroom and walk to the closet. I look in the back for a suit case but can’t find it. SHIT! Chad took it most likely. I clench my fist in frustration and decide to head to the mall.
I get to the mall and head for the luggage store they have and pick out 2 suitcases for my trip. I walk around and grab myself a pretzel. I haven’t been to the mall in a long time. I look through random stores and buy myself a couple new outfits, then I come by a lingerie store. I stop in the middle of a bite of my pretzel and look at the pink and black lace corset and skirt in the window. I tilt my head to the side trying to imagine what I would look like in it. Might as well find out right? I strut In and look for my size in the outfit and head for the changing rooms when I run into a tall blonde man
“Would you like to try that on?” he asks innocently. My face turns red.
“Yes please…” I almost whisper. He takes a key from his pocket and unlocks one of the rooms.
“Here you go, you’re going to look great in that!” he enthuses.
“Thanks…” I walk by her and into the dressing room and close the door, and try on the outfit, and she was right I do look good. I get a tint of a smile on my face when I think about what Gerard would do if he ever saw me in this.
“Well come on out lets see how it looks!” the guy from behind the door urges. I slowly open the door and step out. She looks at me and her mouth drops in awe.
“Oh my! You look stunning, who is the lucky guy or girl?” he asks examining me some more.
“Thanks, and it is for my boyfriend, he is away on a trip and I am surprising him” I blush.
“Well I’ll say it is a surprise, I’m gay honey and you’ve got me turned on!” he compliments placing his hand on his chest. My face turns red I go back into the dressing room and get changed. Afterwards I proceed to the check out and the man helps me out.
“This is one lucky man I’ll tell you” He folds up the outfit and puts it in the bag.
“Thanks” I say handing over my debit card.
“Oh honey I am getting this vibe that is going to be your first time” He runs the card then looks at me. What does he have some sort of gay super power. My cheeks go pin and I avoid his eyes.
“Oh my gosh! It is, well make it count sweetie” He hands me the bag and my card back. I snatch it back and walk out of the store.
I arrive at home and take all my bags to my room and start tarring tags off of everything, and pack my bags. The last thing I pack in the lingerie. I stand there examining it for a while contemplating if I should wear them or not. I do love Gerard more than anything, I know I promised myself but I already know I am going to be with him forever, that he will one day be my husband so it wont be that bad if I rush it a little will it? I place it in the bag and zip it up. I sit on the bed and look at the clock, I’ve been out most of the day and it is already 10:30. Gerard usually calls around now….and just like clock work the phone rings. I jump up from the bed and answer the phone.
“Hello?” I answer excitedly.
“Heyjoitsme” Gerard slurs from the other line.
“Hey how was the drive today?” I ask while opening the fridge and grabbing a beer.
“It was okay, boring. I slept most of it” I hear him take a deep breath and know he is smoking a cigarette.
“Oh I’m sorry” I take a drink of my beer and walk into the living room and sit on the couch.
“What did you do today?” He asks.
“Oh nothing just did some shopping”-Me
“Anyone hit on you?” he asks in a serious tone. I roll my eyes again.
“No Gerard no one did” – Me
“Good, I miss you so much I wish you were here”-Gerard
“Me too but I can’t take off of work I’m sorry” I lie. I smile knowing the truth.
“I know you have to savealotofpuppies” He slurs again.
“Hey Gerard can I talk to Mikey please?” I ask.
“Why?” He questions in a curious tone.
“I just need to tell him something about one of his games he left here, Pickles got a hold of it and well destroyed it and I want to tell him” I lie again. I hate lying to him, but it is for a good reason.
“Okay well I love you, I’ll call you again tomorrow”
“Love you too” I tell him. I hear some shuffling on the other end and lots of cussing when finally Mikey answers.
“WHAT GAME DID THAT MONSTER DESTROY?! IT BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN MY SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!” Mikey yells from the other end. I laugh.
“Mikey calm down he didn’t destroy anything yet, I need you to do me a favor. Can you get out of the same room as Gerard please? Just act mad or something” I tell him to do.
“HE FUCKING DID?! I AM SO PISSED JO HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DO THAT….okay I’m out of the room what’s up?” he says calmly.
“Listen I am flying out to Austin tomorrow night, I’m going to be there at around 10:00 in the morning. Gerard doesn’t know I wanted to surprise him…” I explain.
“NO WAY?! That is so awesome! Gerard is gunna be so fucking happy. He has been really angry and drinking more since he hasn’t been around you…” Mikey expressed. I frown thinking of him like that.
“I hate hearing that Mikey… I’ve been miserable without him too, I just need you to do something for me. I know where you guys are playing and staying at Gerard gave me all that info, I just need you to make sure he doesn’t get drunk or high at all tomorrow”
“Ummm can I ask why?” he asks. I feel my cheeks getting hot. How can I tell him? Well he is Gerard’s brother so he will hear about it one way or another.
“I know Gerard has told you about our intimacy don’t you dare lie about it cuz I know he has, and you should know that we haven’t done anything yet because we are both drunk or high and I want it to happen when we are both sober….” I trail off hoping he gets the picture. He is silent for a little while then replies:
“Oh wow okay, wow. Um… Yeah I can do that. He might be pissed off but I am sure once he knows why and what it is for he will be beyond glad I did” I smile and let out a relieved sigh.
“And one more thing, I am not going to be home when he calls tomorrow night, or Monday morning and evening. I was going to surprise him after your show so can you keep him calm too” I ask.
“Jo… I don’t know. That is like trying to NOT get the Hulk to go green after he gets pissed, almost impossible…” – Mikey
“Please?! Think of how happy he will be when he sees me” I urge. I hear him sigh on the other end.
“I will. But you owe me big Jo!” He threatens. I smile.
“Thanks Mikey! See you Monday night!”
“You’re welcome bye” and he hangs up. I get up and do a little happy dance. I am going to see Gerard!
Gerard usually tells me about his shows, where they are at, what being on the road is like while I tell him the very boring life of me saving animals and doing the same old surgeries. He listens and acts interested but I cant help but think he isn’t interested.
I am sitting here in the kitchen staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. It is 10:00 on a Saturday. Gerard should be awake by now. I get antsy in my seat waiting. I take a sip of my coffee and start to read my book. An hour goes by and the phone rings. I jump up almost spilling my coffee and answer the phone
“Hello?!”-Me
“Hey Babe!”-Gerard
“Hi!” I say cheesily back.
“What are am sitting here in the kitchen staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. It is 10:00 on a Saturday. Gerard should be awake by now. I get antsy in my seat waiting. I take a sip of my coffee and start to read my book. An hour goes by and the phone rings. I jump up almost spilling my coffee and answer the phone
“Hello?!”-Me
“Hey Babe!”-Gerard
“Hi!” I say cheesily back.
“What are you doing?” He asks
“Oh just reading and having some coffee what are you doing?” I ask back.
“Just woke up, the crowd last night was insane, not to mention I was pretty drunk” He says with a laugh.
“Yeah you were…” I say remembering the conversation last night. I could barely understand him because he kept slurring his words.
“Sorry about that, but I miss you so much baby! I am so glad I have this tattoo of you right above my heart just reminds me that you are always there for me” I feel myself blush.
“I wish I was actually there though” I sadly say.
“Me too, but just 2 more months and we are going to be together for a long time!” he says excitedly. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about seeing him again.
“Yeah I cant wait!” I say excitedly back.
“I gotta go though, we are heading for Texas have a long 2 day drive ahead of us” Gerard complains. I sigh. I hate this part saying goodbye.
“Okay well have fun drive safe and call me later okay?” I ask.
“Of course my love. I love you have fun today but not to much, and don’t dress to sexy if you go out tonight I don’t want any other guys even looking at you” He protectively says. I roll my eyes but decide not to argue with him.
“Okay I wont Love you too bye” and with that I hang up, and the pain is my chest again.
I go for the fridge again and pull out a beer and crack it open. I can’t stand this and I walk toward my calendar and look at it. I flip back and see I have not taken a vacation in almost a year. A smile spreads across my lips. I’m going to see Gerard, I’m going to fly out and see him when he arrives in Texas on Monday.
I pick up the phone and call Angela and let her know that I am going to be gone for 3 weeks and that she will have to hold down the fort while I’m gone.
“Umm are you sure Johanna? I mean, what if I can’t get a hold of you?” Angela’s shy voice asks.
“I’ll call you a couple times a day when I get the chance and make sure everything is going to be okay.Oh and if Gerard calls any time I am gone just say I am with a client. I need this Ang, Im sorry I believe in you” I say hopefully boosting her confidence and it works. We arrange everything. Next step booking my flight. I dial the number for the airport and they give me the times for the next flight out. It is a red eye at 11:00 PM Sunday night with a lay over making my arrival time in Austin Texas around 10:00 AM. I book the flight, after I am done I can’t help but jump up and down. I am going to surprise Gerard! Pickles joins me barking and jumping up and down.
“Shit!” I say out loud and look at Pickles. He is looking at me, his big tongue hanging out of his mouth.
I forgot about what the animals! I sit their racking my brain, There is no way in hell that the airlines will accept a Great Dane to ride. I quickly look for my phonebook and flip frantically through the pages until I see a dog sitting business add, I grab the phone and give them a call.
They are very nice and say that they will come over 3 times a day and take care of the animals, I sigh letting the weight fall off of my shoulders. I pat Pickles on the head and head into my bedroom and walk to the closet. I look in the back for a suit case but can’t find it. SHIT! Chad took it most likely. I clench my fist in frustration and decide to head to the mall.
I get to the mall and head for the luggage store they have and pick out 2 suitcases for my trip. I walk around and grab myself a pretzel. I haven’t been to the mall in a long time. I look through random stores and buy myself a couple new outfits, then I come by a lingerie store. I stop in the middle of a bite of my pretzel and look at the pink and black lace corset and skirt in the window. I tilt my head to the side trying to imagine what I would look like in it. Might as well find out right? I strut In and look for my size in the outfit and head for the changing rooms when I run into a tall blonde man
“Would you like to try that on?” he asks innocently. My face turns red.
“Yes please…” I almost whisper. He takes a key from his pocket and unlocks one of the rooms.
“Here you go, you’re going to look great in that!” he enthuses.
“Thanks…” I walk by her and into the dressing room and close the door, and try on the outfit, and she was right I do look good. I get a tint of a smile on my face when I think about what Gerard would do if he ever saw me in this.
“Well come on out lets see how it looks!” the guy from behind the door urges. I slowly open the door and step out. She looks at me and her mouth drops in awe.
“Oh my! You look stunning, who is the lucky guy or girl?” he asks examining me some more.
“Thanks, and it is for my boyfriend, he is away on a trip and I am surprising him” I blush.
“Well I’ll say it is a surprise, I’m gay honey and you’ve got me turned on!” he compliments placing his hand on his chest. My face turns red I go back into the dressing room and get changed. Afterwards I proceed to the check out and the man helps me out.
“This is one lucky man I’ll tell you” He folds up the outfit and puts it in the bag.
“Thanks” I say handing over my debit card.
“Oh honey I am getting this vibe that is going to be your first time” He runs the card then looks at me. What does he have some sort of gay super power. My cheeks go pin and I avoid his eyes.
“Oh my gosh! It is, well make it count sweetie” He hands me the bag and my card back. I snatch it back and walk out of the store.
I arrive at home and take all my bags to my room and start tarring tags off of everything, and pack my bags. The last thing I pack in the lingerie. I stand there examining it for a while contemplating if I should wear them or not. I do love Gerard more than anything, I know I promised myself but I already know I am going to be with him forever, that he will one day be my husband so it wont be that bad if I rush it a little will it? I place it in the bag and zip it up. I sit on the bed and look at the clock, I’ve been out most of the day and it is already 10:30. Gerard usually calls around now….and just like clock work the phone rings. I jump up from the bed and answer the phone.
“Hello?” I answer excitedly.
“Heyjoitsme” Gerard slurs from the other line.
“Hey how was the drive today?” I ask while opening the fridge and grabbing a beer.
“It was okay, boring. I slept most of it” I hear him take a deep breath and know he is smoking a cigarette.
“Oh I’m sorry” I take a drink of my beer and walk into the living room and sit on the couch.
“What did you do today?” He asks.
“Oh nothing just did some shopping”-Me
“Anyone hit on you?” he asks in a serious tone. I roll my eyes again.
“No Gerard no one did” – Me
“Good, I miss you so much I wish you were here”-Gerard
“Me too but I can’t take off of work I’m sorry” I lie. I smile knowing the truth.
“I know you have to savealotofpuppies” He slurs again.
“Hey Gerard can I talk to Mikey please?” I ask.
“Why?” He questions in a curious tone.
“I just need to tell him something about one of his games he left here, Pickles got a hold of it and well destroyed it and I want to tell him” I lie again. I hate lying to him, but it is for a good reason.
“Okay well I love you, I’ll call you again tomorrow”
“Love you too” I tell him. I hear some shuffling on the other end and lots of cussing when finally Mikey answers.
“WHAT GAME DID THAT MONSTER DESTROY?! IT BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN MY SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!” Mikey yells from the other end. I laugh.
“Mikey calm down he didn’t destroy anything yet, I need you to do me a favor. Can you get out of the same room as Gerard please? Just act mad or something” I tell him to do.
“HE FUCKING DID?! I AM SO PISSED JO HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DO THAT….okay I’m out of the room what’s up?” he says calmly.
“Listen I am flying out to Austin tomorrow night, I’m going to be there at around 10:00 in the morning. Gerard doesn’t know I wanted to surprise him…” I explain.
“NO WAY?! That is so awesome! Gerard is gunna be so fucking happy. He has been really angry and drinking more since he hasn’t been around you…” Mikey expressed. I frown thinking of him like that.
“I hate hearing that Mikey… I’ve been miserable without him too, I just need you to do something for me. I know where you guys are playing and staying at Gerard gave me all that info, I just need you to make sure he doesn’t get drunk or high at all tomorrow”
“Ummm can I ask why?” he asks. I feel my cheeks getting hot. How can I tell him? Well he is Gerard’s brother so he will hear about it one way or another.
“I know Gerard has told you about our intimacy don’t you dare lie about it cuz I know he has, and you should know that we haven’t done anything yet because we are both drunk or high and I want it to happen when we are both sober….” I trail off hoping he gets the picture. He is silent for a little while then replies:
“Oh wow okay, wow. Um… Yeah I can do that. He might be pissed off but I am sure once he knows why and what it is for he will be beyond glad I did” I smile and let out a relieved sigh.
“And one more thing, I am not going to be home when he calls tomorrow night, or Monday morning and evening. I was going to surprise him after your show so can you keep him calm too” I ask.
“Jo… I don’t know. That is like trying to NOT get the Hulk to go green after he gets pissed, almost impossible…” – Mikey
“Please?! Think of how happy he will be when he sees me” I urge. I hear him sigh on the other end.
“I will. But you owe me big Jo!” He threatens. I smile.
“Thanks Mikey! See you Monday night!”
“You’re welcome bye” and he hangs up. I get up and do a little happy dance. I am going to see Gerard!
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