Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forever Yours
I stayed seated in my spot for what felt like forever but finally when I got the urge to stand I felt weak, weaker than I had in a long time.
With each step I felt like a small child, learning to walk for the first time. I nearly stumbled but then thankfully reached the door. Quickly I learned I was locked inside of the bedroom. The news didn’t quite reach my hand as easily as it did my brain and I stood trying for several seconds before giving in to my anger and kicking the door.
As I stepped away from the door I began to sway, feeling horribly dizzy. It was only seconds before I crashed to the ground, losing consciousness.
*
“She needs food Brendon.” Ryan shook his head, disapproving of his friend’s choices. “You can’t keep her if you can’t even take proper care of her.”
Brendon glared in annoyance, “It’s been awhile since I’ve been around a human Ryan, give me a goddamn break.”
“There is a reason for that. We aren’t meant to be around them. Plus, what exactly are we going to do with her?” Ryan sat down as Brendon began rummaging through the fridge.
“You aren’t going to be doing anything with her.” Brendon stated, giving up and pulling out his cell phone. “She’s mine. I will take care of her. I’m ordering her pizza. Do you want any?”
Ryan shook his head, “I’m fine. I’m going out to hunt in an hour or so though.”
“Ryan, you know I’m not doing this to hurt either of us, right?” Brendon stopped in place, worried that his friend was getting the wrong impression. “I didn’t go seek her out, she came to me.”
Ryan nodded, “I understand but that doesn’t mean I like it.”
Brendon knew that Ryan was simply worried about them being discovered, and potentially prosecuted for being what they were. There were many fears involved when a non-human-being got involved with a human being. Things didn’t often work out. If anyone discovered what they were then their world would surely dissolve, causing much pain.
Brendon listened to the ringing phone, trying not to focus on the pain he knew he might be bringing his friend.
*
I awoke to a ringing noise, quickly followed by knocking. As I looked around the room I realized I wasn’t in Brendon’s room anymore. I was laying upon a couch, with a blanket thrown over me.
The knocking continued and I realized that someone was at the door.
I was on my feet in a matter of seconds, attempting to find my way to the door. The knocking had stopped but then I heard Brendon talking to someone.
“HELP!” I screamed as loudly as I possibly could, knowing that this was a chance to escape and I probably wouldn’t come by many.
It was now or never. “HELP!”
I ran down a long hallway and around the corner, stopping in my tracks.
Brendon stood, staring directly at me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his face, his lips… covered in blood. “Well, that eliminates the need to hunt tonight.” He stated, wiping the blood from his face with the back of his hand.
I glanced behind him, where his victim lay.
“Yeah, go ahead and look at him.” Brendon said, quietly moving closer to me. “You’re the one that killed him. Had you not screamed he’d be on his way, unharmed.”
He looked to be 18 or 19, definitely not any older. Brendon had gotten close enough to grab me but when he did I didn’t even struggle.
“You didn’t have to kill him.” I whispered. At that point I realized that freedom would never make the guilt disappear. Brendon had lessened the curse but I still felt every ounce of guilt that was due.
“You made me.” Brendon responded, gently caressing my face with his blood stained hands.
“What are you?”
Brendon smiled sadistically, bringing his lips to my ear. I didn’t feel his breath on my ear because he wasn’t breathing.
“I’m a vampire.” The statement was so simple and so very, very ridiculous sounding.
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to roll my eyes and call him crazy. He was crazy, wasn’t he? He wasn’t though and I wasn’t stupid enough to laugh.
As I stepped forward Brendon moved with me, forcing me to look at what I’d caused. The young man had puncture wounds on his neck, from which blood was oozing.
“Is he-“ I leaned down, afraid to touch anywhere near the wounds but I wanted to know if he was still alive, or if he was just injured. I mean, he could be alive, right? “Is he really dead?” I finally asked, fingers inching towards him.
“Don’t touch him.” Brendon snapped. “I don’t need evidence of you on his body.” I felt myself being pulled away but my eyes stayed on the young teen. “And yes, he is dead.”
Damn, I wasn’t liking the emotion those words evoked.
**
“I’m still waiting for my pizza to arrive.” Brendon made his tone show as much annoyance as possible. I simply sat on the couch across from him, putting as much hate as I could in to my glare.
Ryan had taken the boy’s body, as well as his car… god knows where. He’d just said he would take care of it.
“No, my hunger for pizza has diminished.” Brendon snapped. “Believe me though; I won’t be calling you for further service.” I jumped when his eyes fell on me, as he hung up.
“I believe that covered our tracks.” Brendon said, carelessly. Our tracks?
I swallowed hard, unable to even object to his wording. I was the reason that boy had died. How had I been so stupid, thinking it could all end just by calling for help? I knew there was something supernatural at hand. Now that I had a name for it… it didn’t change things. I shouldn’t have had to find out what I already knew. I shouldn’t have had to sacrifice someone to learn.
“Why aren’t you eating?” I didn’t even look at the pizza on the table, my stomach churning at the idea of eating anything. “I ordered it for you. Do you not like that kind? I really don’t know anything about your likes and dislikes. You’ll have to write me a list.” Brendon was smiling as if nothing had happened, as if he didn’t still have blood on his shirt. Thankfully he’d wiped off his face and hands. I hadn’t washed my own face, which Brendon had spread blood upon.
“Have you no idea what you just did?” I glanced towards the hallway, where the body had been. “How can you just pretend everything is okay?”
Brendon began laughing, “Well damn, I’m going to have to tune down that morality I installed in you. Don’t go judging me. How many have you killed darling?” The way he so easily spoke of murder disgusted me but he was right, before I wouldn’t have been one to judge.
“It was different.” I lied, looking for a way away from the guilt.
“Why, because you were paid?” That hurt.
“It wasn’t like that.” I looked away, stung by his words. It was like that though. It was exactly like that. I was given money to kill certain individuals and then I killed then, without question. I was nothing other than a brain dead assassin, willing to do anything for a little money. It wasn’t a career to be proud of, and it wasn’t something I’d ever talked to anyone about. It was just something I did.
“What was it like then?” Brendon continued to stare at me, digging deeper beneath my skin with his words. “Tell me. Why’d you do it Madeline?”
Tears stung my eyes, the feeling one I couldn’t get used to. “Please.” I closed my eyes, wanting him to drop the subject.
“You don’t want to talk about your past crimes; instead you’d rather just judge mine?” Brendon shook his head. “It’s not that easy baby. If you’re going to judge me then I’m going to make damn sure that you judge yourself too.”
I opened my eyes, letting the warm tears drip free. Instead of wiping them away, I simply let them slip freely down my cheeks. “What do you want from me?”
Brendon sighed heavily, “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“Just answer the damn question.”
Instead he stood up, glancing towards the pizza. “Eat please; I don’t need you passing out again.” With that said he left the room, leaving me by myself.
So now it was just me and my morality.
I stared down at the pizza in distaste, deciding to find something in the kitchen instead.
What I found was Ryan.
He looked up at me from the table before quickly turning back to his book, saying nothing.
“Can I-“ I paused, trying to think of something. Finally I came to the conclusion that I might as well try to be on good terms with one out of two of the vampires. Well, I assumed Ryan was a vampire anyway… If Brendon was then he probably was too. How many vampires hid amongst humans? “Can I make you something to eat?” I bit my lip, “Oh god, do you even eat food?” The stupid question escaped me before I could stop myself.
Ryan looked up, surprised.
I was going to say something to try to cover for sounding so stupid but then within seconds my back hit the protruding counter, causing a cry of pain to pass my lips. Ryan had his body pressed against mine, his eyes burning in to my own eyes. “I can eat regular food.” He finally said, though the words sounded a hell of a lot more intimidating than they would have coming from any other person, or… thing. “I just don’t need it to survive.”
“So… telling me that requires having me shoved up against a counter?” I asked, staying in place so as not to upset him. Plus I didn’t need him to push against me with any other exertion, I wasn’t sure my back could take that.
Ryan let go and I immediately began rubbing my back where it had hit the counter. “I suppose not.”
“So, would you like me to make you something?” I wasn’t sure why but I was set on Ryan not absolutely hating me. It didn’t really sound like a horrible idea to gain one or both of the men’s trust. I mean, then at least I had a better chance of eventually escaping this place.
The kitchen door opened and Brendon looked at both of us, “What is going on?” He didn’t sound happy.
“I’m going to… cook.” I awkwardly stated, drawing out the sentence, wondering why he looked so angry.
“I heard you cry out.” Brendon glanced at Ryan, who made no move to speak, to defend himself.
“How the hell?” I sighed, realizing I’d have to get used to it. “I hit my back on the pull out.” I gestured behind me.
Brendon nodded, “What are you making?”
“I don’t know. There seems to be a shortage of actual food.” I opened the freezer, confirming that there was no food in there either.
“I told you to make me a list. I can go shopping tonight.”
“Fine, I need a pen and paper.” I crossed my arms, hating that I’d have to rely on Brendon to go and get me things.
Brendon nodded and left the room. Ryan still stood in place. “I like steak, very rare.” Ryan finally said, and I noticed a small ghost of a smile upon his lips but it quickly faded. “You may make me that tomorrow, if you’d like.”
I nodded, “Sure.”
Then Ryan also left and I stood in place, trying to sort everything out in my head. I didn’t even know how to feel anymore. I needed to get a hold of my thoughts, and I needed to get a leash on my emotions. I would do myself no good if I was just a mess. I needed a plan.
I needed Ryan’s trust because I knew Brendon couldn’t always be around. If I could trick Ryan, I could escape.
There was still hope.
With each step I felt like a small child, learning to walk for the first time. I nearly stumbled but then thankfully reached the door. Quickly I learned I was locked inside of the bedroom. The news didn’t quite reach my hand as easily as it did my brain and I stood trying for several seconds before giving in to my anger and kicking the door.
As I stepped away from the door I began to sway, feeling horribly dizzy. It was only seconds before I crashed to the ground, losing consciousness.
*
“She needs food Brendon.” Ryan shook his head, disapproving of his friend’s choices. “You can’t keep her if you can’t even take proper care of her.”
Brendon glared in annoyance, “It’s been awhile since I’ve been around a human Ryan, give me a goddamn break.”
“There is a reason for that. We aren’t meant to be around them. Plus, what exactly are we going to do with her?” Ryan sat down as Brendon began rummaging through the fridge.
“You aren’t going to be doing anything with her.” Brendon stated, giving up and pulling out his cell phone. “She’s mine. I will take care of her. I’m ordering her pizza. Do you want any?”
Ryan shook his head, “I’m fine. I’m going out to hunt in an hour or so though.”
“Ryan, you know I’m not doing this to hurt either of us, right?” Brendon stopped in place, worried that his friend was getting the wrong impression. “I didn’t go seek her out, she came to me.”
Ryan nodded, “I understand but that doesn’t mean I like it.”
Brendon knew that Ryan was simply worried about them being discovered, and potentially prosecuted for being what they were. There were many fears involved when a non-human-being got involved with a human being. Things didn’t often work out. If anyone discovered what they were then their world would surely dissolve, causing much pain.
Brendon listened to the ringing phone, trying not to focus on the pain he knew he might be bringing his friend.
*
I awoke to a ringing noise, quickly followed by knocking. As I looked around the room I realized I wasn’t in Brendon’s room anymore. I was laying upon a couch, with a blanket thrown over me.
The knocking continued and I realized that someone was at the door.
I was on my feet in a matter of seconds, attempting to find my way to the door. The knocking had stopped but then I heard Brendon talking to someone.
“HELP!” I screamed as loudly as I possibly could, knowing that this was a chance to escape and I probably wouldn’t come by many.
It was now or never. “HELP!”
I ran down a long hallway and around the corner, stopping in my tracks.
Brendon stood, staring directly at me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his face, his lips… covered in blood. “Well, that eliminates the need to hunt tonight.” He stated, wiping the blood from his face with the back of his hand.
I glanced behind him, where his victim lay.
“Yeah, go ahead and look at him.” Brendon said, quietly moving closer to me. “You’re the one that killed him. Had you not screamed he’d be on his way, unharmed.”
He looked to be 18 or 19, definitely not any older. Brendon had gotten close enough to grab me but when he did I didn’t even struggle.
“You didn’t have to kill him.” I whispered. At that point I realized that freedom would never make the guilt disappear. Brendon had lessened the curse but I still felt every ounce of guilt that was due.
“You made me.” Brendon responded, gently caressing my face with his blood stained hands.
“What are you?”
Brendon smiled sadistically, bringing his lips to my ear. I didn’t feel his breath on my ear because he wasn’t breathing.
“I’m a vampire.” The statement was so simple and so very, very ridiculous sounding.
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to roll my eyes and call him crazy. He was crazy, wasn’t he? He wasn’t though and I wasn’t stupid enough to laugh.
As I stepped forward Brendon moved with me, forcing me to look at what I’d caused. The young man had puncture wounds on his neck, from which blood was oozing.
“Is he-“ I leaned down, afraid to touch anywhere near the wounds but I wanted to know if he was still alive, or if he was just injured. I mean, he could be alive, right? “Is he really dead?” I finally asked, fingers inching towards him.
“Don’t touch him.” Brendon snapped. “I don’t need evidence of you on his body.” I felt myself being pulled away but my eyes stayed on the young teen. “And yes, he is dead.”
Damn, I wasn’t liking the emotion those words evoked.
**
“I’m still waiting for my pizza to arrive.” Brendon made his tone show as much annoyance as possible. I simply sat on the couch across from him, putting as much hate as I could in to my glare.
Ryan had taken the boy’s body, as well as his car… god knows where. He’d just said he would take care of it.
“No, my hunger for pizza has diminished.” Brendon snapped. “Believe me though; I won’t be calling you for further service.” I jumped when his eyes fell on me, as he hung up.
“I believe that covered our tracks.” Brendon said, carelessly. Our tracks?
I swallowed hard, unable to even object to his wording. I was the reason that boy had died. How had I been so stupid, thinking it could all end just by calling for help? I knew there was something supernatural at hand. Now that I had a name for it… it didn’t change things. I shouldn’t have had to find out what I already knew. I shouldn’t have had to sacrifice someone to learn.
“Why aren’t you eating?” I didn’t even look at the pizza on the table, my stomach churning at the idea of eating anything. “I ordered it for you. Do you not like that kind? I really don’t know anything about your likes and dislikes. You’ll have to write me a list.” Brendon was smiling as if nothing had happened, as if he didn’t still have blood on his shirt. Thankfully he’d wiped off his face and hands. I hadn’t washed my own face, which Brendon had spread blood upon.
“Have you no idea what you just did?” I glanced towards the hallway, where the body had been. “How can you just pretend everything is okay?”
Brendon began laughing, “Well damn, I’m going to have to tune down that morality I installed in you. Don’t go judging me. How many have you killed darling?” The way he so easily spoke of murder disgusted me but he was right, before I wouldn’t have been one to judge.
“It was different.” I lied, looking for a way away from the guilt.
“Why, because you were paid?” That hurt.
“It wasn’t like that.” I looked away, stung by his words. It was like that though. It was exactly like that. I was given money to kill certain individuals and then I killed then, without question. I was nothing other than a brain dead assassin, willing to do anything for a little money. It wasn’t a career to be proud of, and it wasn’t something I’d ever talked to anyone about. It was just something I did.
“What was it like then?” Brendon continued to stare at me, digging deeper beneath my skin with his words. “Tell me. Why’d you do it Madeline?”
Tears stung my eyes, the feeling one I couldn’t get used to. “Please.” I closed my eyes, wanting him to drop the subject.
“You don’t want to talk about your past crimes; instead you’d rather just judge mine?” Brendon shook his head. “It’s not that easy baby. If you’re going to judge me then I’m going to make damn sure that you judge yourself too.”
I opened my eyes, letting the warm tears drip free. Instead of wiping them away, I simply let them slip freely down my cheeks. “What do you want from me?”
Brendon sighed heavily, “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“Just answer the damn question.”
Instead he stood up, glancing towards the pizza. “Eat please; I don’t need you passing out again.” With that said he left the room, leaving me by myself.
So now it was just me and my morality.
I stared down at the pizza in distaste, deciding to find something in the kitchen instead.
What I found was Ryan.
He looked up at me from the table before quickly turning back to his book, saying nothing.
“Can I-“ I paused, trying to think of something. Finally I came to the conclusion that I might as well try to be on good terms with one out of two of the vampires. Well, I assumed Ryan was a vampire anyway… If Brendon was then he probably was too. How many vampires hid amongst humans? “Can I make you something to eat?” I bit my lip, “Oh god, do you even eat food?” The stupid question escaped me before I could stop myself.
Ryan looked up, surprised.
I was going to say something to try to cover for sounding so stupid but then within seconds my back hit the protruding counter, causing a cry of pain to pass my lips. Ryan had his body pressed against mine, his eyes burning in to my own eyes. “I can eat regular food.” He finally said, though the words sounded a hell of a lot more intimidating than they would have coming from any other person, or… thing. “I just don’t need it to survive.”
“So… telling me that requires having me shoved up against a counter?” I asked, staying in place so as not to upset him. Plus I didn’t need him to push against me with any other exertion, I wasn’t sure my back could take that.
Ryan let go and I immediately began rubbing my back where it had hit the counter. “I suppose not.”
“So, would you like me to make you something?” I wasn’t sure why but I was set on Ryan not absolutely hating me. It didn’t really sound like a horrible idea to gain one or both of the men’s trust. I mean, then at least I had a better chance of eventually escaping this place.
The kitchen door opened and Brendon looked at both of us, “What is going on?” He didn’t sound happy.
“I’m going to… cook.” I awkwardly stated, drawing out the sentence, wondering why he looked so angry.
“I heard you cry out.” Brendon glanced at Ryan, who made no move to speak, to defend himself.
“How the hell?” I sighed, realizing I’d have to get used to it. “I hit my back on the pull out.” I gestured behind me.
Brendon nodded, “What are you making?”
“I don’t know. There seems to be a shortage of actual food.” I opened the freezer, confirming that there was no food in there either.
“I told you to make me a list. I can go shopping tonight.”
“Fine, I need a pen and paper.” I crossed my arms, hating that I’d have to rely on Brendon to go and get me things.
Brendon nodded and left the room. Ryan still stood in place. “I like steak, very rare.” Ryan finally said, and I noticed a small ghost of a smile upon his lips but it quickly faded. “You may make me that tomorrow, if you’d like.”
I nodded, “Sure.”
Then Ryan also left and I stood in place, trying to sort everything out in my head. I didn’t even know how to feel anymore. I needed to get a hold of my thoughts, and I needed to get a leash on my emotions. I would do myself no good if I was just a mess. I needed a plan.
I needed Ryan’s trust because I knew Brendon couldn’t always be around. If I could trick Ryan, I could escape.
There was still hope.
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