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Chapter III

I wish so much that I could go back in time even to a just few days ago. Ever since I was told that we were moving to New York, I've felt like there's been a hundred pound weight that I'm dragging around with me wherever I go. This is beyond horrible! It's a nightmare for me to leave my friends behind and start out new in an unfamiliar place. See, I don't make friends all that easily. I'm really blessed to have Amanda and Joe. I should have been more grateful for them. Maybe if I had been more appreciative, this wouldn't have happened to me.

When I choke out the news that I'm moving to Amanda, she suddenly pulls away from our hug and looks at me as if I've just spoken in a different language. Frowning at me, she asks, "What did you just say, Lacey? Did you just say that you're moving? Where are you moving to?"

I try to speak, but my voice is all choked up and my words come out indistinguishable. After I manage to stop crying, I say in a wavering voice, "All the way to New York! That's so far away from here. I won't be able to come visit you or anything! I don't want to move. I really don't! I want to stay here with you and Joe and everyone else."

Amanda swallows hard and it's about impossible for me to tell what's running through her mind. Finally, she murmurs, "Why are you moving? This is all rather sudden, isn't it?"

"Hell yeah!" I reply indignantly, earning a disapproving look from Amanda. She doesn't like swearing of any type. That's probably because of the way she was brought up. I quickly apologize, "Sorry, but yeah, mom told me last night so I guess it's good that you weren't able to come over anyways. We're moving on Sunday."

"Sunday?" Amanda repeats dubiously. "That doesn't give you much time to pack."

"Amanda, the last thing I'm worried about right now is how much time I have to pack," I reply, cracking a smile at my friend. I find it funny that I'm leaving Massachusetts for probably forever and Amanda is most worried about how much time I'm going to have to pack. Looking up into her eyes, I say, "You know what this means, right? We won't be hanging out together anymore. There won't be any more slumber parties or hanging out after school episodes. All of that is over."

Amanda suddenly looks at the ground and I can tell she's biting her lip and trying not to cry now too. We've been best friends for so long and Amanda doesn't really have any other good friends besides for me. This move is going to influence both of us. I'm not going to be the only lonely one.

Somehow or the other, Amanda manages to keep her emotions inside. Taking my hand firmly, she pulls me along to geography and says, "Come on, we have to get to class. We can talk more about this afterwards. I wish you weren't leaving, but we should make the best of the rest of your time here, you know? Let's not spend it crying and moping around."

"I guess," I sniffle, unsure how everyone is able to remain so positive. I seem to be the only one who's too upset to hold her emotions back. I do know someone who will understand though. Joe will understand. He always does. That's what I love about him.

Amanda and I enter the history classroom quietly and earn a glare from the geography teacher for being a few minutes tardy. I don't even bother to glare back at her since I'm too busy drowning in my own misery. The teacher starts talking, but I pay no attention to her. After all, I'm totally allowed to slack off since I only have three more days at this school. Perhaps this is the only good thing about moving. Of course, I would much rather study hard and stay here in Hopedale though.

We're supposed to read chapter six out of our geography textbook, but I just open mine and stare blankly ahead of me. After a moment, I glance over at Amanda. Her eyes aren't moving either. I know she's thinking about what I told her. Both of us have glum expressions on our faces and we're probably both thinking the same thing. This is a really shitty situation.

While I'm supposed to be reading chapter six, I end up thinking about Joe instead. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to think of a good way to tell him that I'm moving. Leaving Joe is probably the worst part about moving. I love Amanda as a best friend, but I'm closer to Joe than to her. Joe is like my everything. He's the most amazing guy I've ever met and I've even fantasized about marrying him someday. All these future hopes are now dashed. Long distance relationships never work out.

Finally, geography class comes to an end. I have a headache from earlier and I feel a bit feverish. Maybe I really am getting sick. Slouching out of the classroom, I step out into the hallway and lean against the wall for a minute. Amanda and I don't have time to talk more right now because our next classes start in ten minutes. We agree to talk more at lunch though. My next class goes by in a blur either because I'm sick or because I'm distracted. At least lunch comes quickly though.

I burst into the cafeteria and immediately scan the area for Amanda or Joe. Neither of them are anywhere to be seen. Sighing with annoyance, I find an empty table to sit at and tap my fingers impatiently on it while I wait for my friends to arrive. I don't even bother to unpack my lunch. I'm not hungry.

After what seems like an eternity of waiting, Amanda pulls out the chair next to mine and sits down besides me. I jerk my head up and exclaim, "It's about time! What took you so long?"

"Sorry," Amanda apologizes as she pushes long blonde hair out of her face and starts going through her lunch bag. "I was explaining a project I'm doing to Mrs. Lincoln. Anyways, how are you doing? You okay? You look like you're feeling pretty awful."

"Do I really look that bad?" I ask wryly. "You could say I've had better days. So what are we going to do about this?"

"About you moving? Well, there's not really much we can do about it," Amanda points out the obvious. She's able to face the truth much more easily than I am. I'm still hoping for some way out of this. Going on, Amanda says, "We should spend as much time together as we can until Sunday though. Can you come over to my house after school?"

I watch Amanda open a plastic bag with carrots in it and say, "Not today because I'm going to Joe's. Speaking of Joe, where is he? Lunch is going to be over soon."

"Doesn't he have a different lunch break than us because he has band class or something?" Amanda reminds me before she thinks for a moment and adds, "Okay, so how about you come over to my house tomorrow? I'm sure my mom will let you come over considering that it'll be one of our last times to hang out together."

"Um, yeah, that should work," I say distractedly as I realize Amanda is right about Joe. He doesn't have lunch break until later because of band. Damn it! I really need to see him. I know I just saw him a few hours ago, but it feels like it's been forever. How will I ever survive without him in New York?

"Are you thinking about Joe?" Amanda asks as she crunches on one of her carrot sticks. I nod glumly and she continues on, "Let me guess. You haven't told him that you're moving yet, right?"

I jerk my head up in surprise and give Amanda a shocked look. I didn't know she was as good at mind reading as Joe! Nodding, I say, "Yeah. I just don't know how to tell him. It's basically going to be the end of our relationship, you know? I mean, have you ever heard of a long distance relationship?"

"Well, yes, I have heard of them before," Amanda admits before noticing that I'm not eating. "You should eat your lunch, you know. You look sick enough as it is."

"Huh? Um, okay," I say, digging out my lunch and grabbing a candy bar out of it. I take a bite of it without thinking and continue on, "I mean, we've all heard of long distance relationships, but have you ever heard of any that have worked out before? The people involved in them always end up breaking up."

"I don't know. You and Joe aren't the average couple," Amanda says. "And even if it doesn't work out between you two, I'm sure you'll find another boyfriend."

I give Amanda an incredulous look. I don't get how everyone can just think I'm going to leave Joe and immediately latch onto a new guy. That's mental! Why in the world would I leave the best guy in the world for some new guy? I see no reason for that. If I can't have Joe, I don't want anyone.

The bell rings a few minutes later, signaling the end of lunch. Frowning, I slowly get up from where I've been sitting and complain to Amanda, "I still haven't figured out what I'm going to say to Joe."

"Just tell him the truth for God's sake, Lace!" Amanda points out. "There's nothing special about how you say it. Just tell him the truth already!"

Seeing that I'm annoying her, I nod and go back to thinking about how to break the news to Joe in silence. Amanda and I separate since we have different classes and I spend the rest of the day in algebra and social studies even though I don't pay attention to either class. When the school day ends, I fly out of the building and wait impatiently at the bus for Joe. I'm so impatient that I find myself pacing up and down the sidewalk.

"Whoa, what's up?" Joe asks, putting his hands on my shoulders and forcing me to a halt a moment later.

"Nothing," I say, giving him an awkward smile even though I don't feel like smiling. Amanda, who just happens to be walking up behind me, rolls her eyes. I frown in her direction and then go back to talking to Joe, "So how was your day?"

"Fine, I guess. Yours must have been pretty bad though, huh? You've been crying, I see," Joe points out what appears to be obvious to him.

I frown and suddenly stiffen. It's obvious I've been crying? Oh god! Just how bad do I look? Do I have mascara all over? Are my eyes all swollen and red? I quickly look away from Joe so he doesn't have to see my hideous face and ask meekly, "Just how bad do I look?"

"You don't look bad. I can tell you've been crying though. So what's up? It's obviously not nothing," Joe says, reaching over and tilting my chin towards him so I'm forced to look him in the eye. He seems to know that I can never lie to him when we're eye-to-eye.

I gulp and try to say something, but no words come to my lips. As she walks by us, Amanda states the news, "She's moving, but apparently she can't tell you about it herself, so I have to do it."

Thanks a lot, Amanda! I send a glare in her direction, but she's already gone. Joe's eyebrows have flown up and he looks pretty stunned by the news. Tilting his head at me, he asks, "Is it true? Are you really moving?"

"Yeah," I say in a weak voice as I feel more tears coming to my eyes. "It's true."

Before we can say anything more or before I can dissolve into a puddle of tears again, the bus driver sticks his head out of the door and calls, "Hey, are you two coming or what? I have a schedule I have to follow here. Either get on the bus or walk home!"

Since neither of us feel like walking home, Joe and I quickly climb the steps into the bus and then find an unoccupied bench to sit on. Joe is frowning and his eyebrows are knotted together. The two of us sit down and neither of us speak for a few minutes. I'm trying to hold it together and Joe seems to be doing the same. I don't know what's going on inside his head, but he looks really upset. I chew my lip hard and try not to start crying.

Thankfully, the bus ride home is short and I manage to get off of the bus without crying for a second time. However, once we're on the sidewalk, it's a whole different story. Tears cloud my eyes and I try to say something, but then forget what I was going to say and end up crying instead. Joe immediately has his arms around me and I'm sobbing into his chest.

"it's gonna be alright, Lace," Joe tries to reassure me as he runs his fingers through my hair. "It's not the end of the world. Even if you move, we'll find a way to stay together. I promise you that."

I feel a small weight lifted off my shoulders at Joe's words. He wants to stick together even though I'm moving? Well, if he's willing to give it a try, then so am I. It may not be easy, but if any couple can do it, it will certainly be us.