FicWad

Frank’s POV

After Brendon left the room, I felt really guilty, it felt like he’d just walked in on my cheating on him or something, but we’re not even together anymore, I don’t know whether he knows that though, he’s been really, clingy since I bumped into him a few days ago, but when I saw Gerard and Mikey today, I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy, although, I want to ask about Bob, but I’m scared that it’s going to be worst case scenario, and he’s dead, I hope he’s not dead, I’m hoping maybe he just got fed up and kicked Mikey and Gerard out of the car and drove off, at least that way he’s alive somewhere.

As my thoughts started to become rather bitter I let out a deep sigh and sat on the soft mattress, Gerard sat next to me and wrapped his left arm around my shoulders carefully, “it’s okay, my shoulders a lot better now.” I stated, Gerard smiled and placed a stronger grip around my shoulders “hey are you Okay? You seem pretty low…” he asked, I shrugged “It’s just kind of awkward…” I muttered hoping Gerard wouldn’t hear “what’s awkward, you can tell me…” he whispered moving his hand to my back “It’s just you know, Brendon and You, he’s my past, you’re my present.” I felt my eyes widen and my hand slapped across my mouth.

What the fuck did I just say?
You basically just said you love him, genius
I do not!
Do too
do not!
Denial’s a powerful thing.
Oh for fuck sake why do you even exist
because you’re a little bit crazy
shut the fuck up, I’m completely sane
Says the fag arguing with himself
Oh shut up

“Frank…Frank!” I snapped out of my internal argument at the sound of Gerard’s voice “What did you mean I’m your present…” he questioned his sparkling eyes staring into mine “I um…you know, because well, me and Brendon used to um…date and well you and I um…” my rambling, stutter filled explanation was interrupted by Gerard’s lips once again against mine.
I take it he understood what I meant, like it wasn’t obvious, god Frank you’re so fucking lame.
I felt Gerard grip the fabric of my shirt making me come back down to earth, I placed one hand on the back of his neck pushing him closer to me and the other was lying flat on his chest, Just as the kiss was about to get a little more intense, right on cue, the door swung open again, this time having no time to hide our actions.

“Oh Jesus Christ! That’s it, I’m staying on first floor with Ray, I’m not sleeping in here with you two fucking all night.” Mikey stated before slamming the door, Gerard and I both burst into hysterics at the same time, after we’d calmed down a little, I climbed into the bed and lay down, Gerard crawled over and lay next to me we both just lay there staring at the ceiling for a while

“You know, I really missed you Frank…” he whispered with closed eyes, a smiled crept on my face, but quickly left after remembering I’d abandoned him, “I missed you too, I never should have left, I’m sorry…” Gerard opened his eyes and turned his head to face me “Stop apologising, you did what you thought was right, you might have hurt me and you might regret it now but it seemed right to you at the time, that’s all that matters, there’s nothing to apologise for.” It hurt a little when he admitted I’d hurt him, but it was nice to know he didn’t hate me for it like I had so thought he would, I turned my head and smiled but my smiled was broken by an intruding yawn a smirk sweeping across Gerard’s face “you’re so cute when you yawn, but anyway we should probably get some sleep, Night Frankie” Gerard stated and climbed in under the covers closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep “Night Gee…” I whispered, and soon enough sleep took over my world.

Gerard’s POV

I was the first to wake up the next morning, to find myself kind of covered in Frank, I’m guessing we both kind of fidgeted during the night, I was lying on my back with my left arm wrapped around Frank’s waist, Frank was lying close to me, kind of cuddled up into my torso with his head on my chest, Frank’s right leg coming up onto my hips in an ‘L’ shape with his hands on my chest next to his head, so I can’t actually move without waking him up, the only thing I could move was my freewheeling right arm, which I smartly placed on Frank’s hair and started stroking him gently as I often did. It was another five minutes before I felt Frank start to stir, he slowly opened his eyes glanced down to look at how we were positioned and looked up to me blushing slightly “You could have just pushed me off Gerard.” He mumbled into my shirt before cuddling deeper into my chest “It would seem you don’t really want me to let you go…” I smiled wrapping both arms around him an squeezing him lightly, making him hum quietly “see I wish this was it, just this, no Brendon, no zombie’s or fighting for our lives just this, just Mikey, Ray, Me and You…” his voice sounded peaceful but them something occurred to me “Um…Frank, are we um, are we like dating now?” I asked in a totally casual and smooth not at all awkward manner Frank’s eyes met mine and he smiled “well I wouldn’t call it dating, it’s not like we can have a dinner date at an expensive restaurant and then go back to my place so you can stay the night is it?” I shrugged “Probably not, so what is this then?” I inquired Frank smiled again “I’ll let you know when I work it out…” he said before kissing me briefly on the lips and getting out of bed. I watched him skip toward the door, when I say watched him, I mean his arse and when I say skip, I mean he literally skipped to the door like a little girl, it was adorable.

After a few minutes of deliberating whether I should get up, I head toward the bedroom door, I open it only to be greeted by Brendon’s not so happy gaze “can we talk?” he said more as a demand than a question, either way I nodded and he walked passed me and into the room I was initially trying to leave, I sighed closing the door and turning around to face Brendon “Look, I’m not an idiot, I can see you and Frank have something going on and I don’t know what your game is, but I don’t want him getting hurt by anyone, Frank is mine!” Brendon stated matter of factly, although it wasn’t really fact at all, Brendon went to open the door to leave without letting me get a word in, but I blocked his way “Are you fucking kidding? You of all people don’t want Frank to get hurt, you were the one that hurt him all those years ago, I haven’t hurt him once!” Brendon snarled slightly at my outburst, he walked closer to me, so our faces were inches apart and my back was against the door he laughed in a very dark way “But he hurt you didn’t he? He told me, how your voice was so pained when he left, do you think, if he truly cared for you, he would have left at all?” he placed his hand flat against the wall next to my head before leaning his head toward my ear “I got those three words, and what did you get? A broken heart and an apologetic make out session, face it Gerard, Frank doesn’t care about you.” He whispered his voice laced with venom, he pushed himself away and left the room, not saying another word. My mind was spinning, I didn’t know what to do, Brendon was a prick and I didn’t want to believe him, but he and Frank have a history, whereas Frank and I don’t, maybe Frank was just using me to fill the void, but then what was that earlier? And last night, that can’t have meant nothing, he wouldn’t do that...

I finally left the room and headed down stairs to find Frank, Ray and Mikey all in Ray’s designated area “Mikey and Ray Sitting In A Car, Are They Fucking Yes-“ Frank stopped mid-sentence when I entered the room, he smiled at me and then a pillow collided with his head “The Fuck Mikey!” Frank snarled “that’s what you get for singing about me and Ray fucking!” he said loudly I glanced over at Ray whose face was violently red, although Mikey didn’t seem to notice, I smiled picking up the pillow Mikey had just launched at Frank’s head and placing it on the bed “Shhhh! Mikey! You’ll wake Brendon!” Frank stated placing a finger against his mouth like an Elementary School teacher “Brendon’s already awake.” I announced Frank turned to me “He is?” I nodded in reply not saying anything, Frank then left the room and ran upstairs, it was a few minutes before he reappeared “He’s not here…” Frank muttered sounding a little saddened “Come on he has to be here, Brendon wouldn’t just skip out on us like that, he wouldn’t, especially without saying goodbye…” Ray said calmly, I glanced at Frank, whose face had dropped, the colour from his skin drained and his eyes were filling with tears, before I could ask what was wrong he ran upstairs again and slammed a door closed “Is he okay?” Mikey questioned, I shook my head “I’ll go and see him.” I sighed and walked up the stairs slowly, I knocked on the door to the room “Frank…Frank are you okay?” stupid question of course he’s not, I push the door open slowly, but Frank isn’t in the bedroom, so I shut the door behind me and look into the bathroom, and Frank is sitting on the floor with the shower pouring down on top of him, I sigh and sit next to him, allowing myself to get absolutely drenched “Frank, what’s wrong?” Frank shook his head “Nothing, it’s just, what Ray said, it reminded me of…” he trailed off I sighed “of when he left you?” I finished, he nodded and placed his head on my shoulder “The thought of being hurt like that again fucking kills me…” he whispered, I placed a hand on his wet hair and kissed his forehead gently “Brendon doesn’t want anything or anyone to hurt you…” I let out a quiet sigh that sadly didn’t go unnoticed “Gerard…what has he said to you?” Frank looked at me, water streaming down his face, his eyes filling with worry “Nothing, it doesn’t matter…” Frank crawled so he was sat in front of me “Tell me Gerard.” He demanded but in a calm voice, I pushed myself off the floor and once I was standing turned off the shower “You don’t even care anyway…” I whispered, I didn’t want to have this conversation with Frank, I wanted to convince myself he did care, but from what Brendon had said and What Frank just said about Brendon leaving again, just made things oh so clear to me, Brendon was right, Frank didn’t care, maybe he did at one point, but not anymore, I walked toward the bathroom door when Frank grabbed my wrist “Is that what he told you?” I turned around to see his eyes filling up “He told you I don’t care…” a single tear rolled down his face I pulled my arm from his grip and carried on walking toward the door “No!” Frank shouted before running ahead of me, shutting the bathroom door and standing in front of it “No! You’re not leaving until you talk to me.” I looked to the floor “There’s nothing to say.” I mumbled, Frank took a step forward and cupped my jaw in his hands “I lied when I said I needed to work it out, I lied, because I know exactly what this is, and I’ve been to scared to admit it to myself, But Gerard, I can’t, I can’t see you think I don’t care, because whatever Brendon told you, whatever he said, it’s bullshit, there's nothing I care about more.” His hands moved to the back of my neck and his eyes were scanning mine waiting for an answer “You told him you loved him…” Frank’s grip loosened a little “The last time I told him I loved him, I was fifteen, I never did Love him though, he was nothing more than a high school crush, Gerard you can’t believe him…” his words faded out to a whisper, but for some reason I could feel myself getting hot in anger “WHY THE FUCK SHOULDN’T I BELIEVE HIM?” I shouted venomously Frank let go of me and stepped back, his eyes wide and full of shock “Gerard, I” he started “NO! YOU LEFT ME; YOU HURT ME IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY HE HURT YOU! I HATE YOU FRANK, I HATE YOU!” I was screaming now, without a doubt Mikey and Ray could hear me from downstairs “You don’t mean that…” Frank was now crying hysterically, he tried placing his hands on my chest but I pushed him away “You’re right…” I stated, my voice sincere “I don’t hate you…not even a little bit, not even at all.” I went to leave but again Frank stopped me, he grabbed the material of my wet shirt and pushed me against the wall forcing his lips against my own, his hands were now on my face, his eyes shut tightly as his tears rolled down onto my cheeks, I resisted him for as long as I could, but he was kissing me, so eventually I caved in, I started to kiss him back, one arm around his waist the other in his soaking wet hair, the fact we were both drenched from sitting in the shower didn’t help either I could feel his chest against mine, his lips pulled away from mine and I let out a small whimper at the loss of contact, he took a step back and looked my straight in the eyes “I have nothing to tell you, except that I love you, which, I fear,you will think rather dull..." and then with a face as poker face as Mikey’s while the words lingered in the air he walks out of the room in silence.