FicWad

I stood staring off into the direction Frank had run, a dreamy haze coming over me. I tried to run after him but a firm hand was placed over my shoulder, dragging me back - Bob.
So it was Bob I'd seen in the distance. Apparently he'd come looking for me after Mikey had phoned him up, seeing if I was at his place.
The taller, more stockily built boy looked down on me with sad eyes, after turning my body so I was facing him. His touch was heavy, weighing me down while his face was just full of pity and disappointment. My heart sank to my feet at the sad expression my friend displayed. He was clearly worried about me, but I was worried about Frank.
I let my eyes fall back on the path Frank and the cops had taken, noticing there was a dark figure, sitting with their head in their hands. I assumed it was Frank's mother as the person appeared to be sobbing, a police man standing over her with a reassuring hand on her back.
Shrugging Bob off, I began to walk towards the woman. As I edged closer, her wailing became much more apparent to me - she'd lost her baby. Her Frankie.
I felt me knees weaken and I gave into them, crouching down in front of the woman. She snapped her head up and neck breaking speed, shooting my a fiery death glare as if I was Satan himself. I was taken back a little by the woman's glance - she should be grateful! I went out and found her son, gave him my coat when his skin was bare and cold, stayed with him all night - I was more like a fucking hero.
But clearly it was not the same in Ms. Iero's eyes.

"Get away from me!" she struggled out between sobs, quietly yet forcefully. My stomach churned as anger brewed inside me, yet I kept it bottled up. The least she needed right now was a crazy run away teenage boy yelling at her. I bit my lip instead and backed up a little.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" the lady was screaming now, catching the attention of the police officer who had to hold her back from lashing out. She struggled against him but his grip was too strong and eventually, her body went limp.
"it was you..." she continued, quieter this time but with the same amount of bitterness and hatred painted onto her words.
"you took him didn't you? Y-you made Frank come here DIDN'T YOU?!" I couldn't help but open my mouth with pure shock.
"he told me about you, you know?" I didn't know actually... "he said a lot about you actually. I thought he was getting better but you had to come along and RUIN EVERYTHING!!!"
she began to struggle again and I saw the officer tighten his grip slightly. A twang of guilt hit my stomach, twirling my insides around and then spitting them out all over the floor in front of me. I soon found a hand placed on my back, patting it gently as I coughed and spluttered out the contents of my stomach. It was my mother who had run over here when she saw Ms.Iero yelling at me. She took some tissues out of her hand bag, wiping my face before giving me some water and minty chewing gum.
I swirled the cool liquid around my mouth slowly, enjoying how it felt washing between my teeth and around my tongue. I then proceeded to spit the water, rather ungracefully, onto the floor and place the gum between my lips. The mint practically burned my mouth as I crushed the gum between my teeth but I ignored the sensation, looking back up at Frank's mother. This time, the distress and hatred had slipped from her features and a smirk sat neatly in their place. It was as if the woman enjoyed my suffering, which made me hate her guts at this point. How a woman this bitchy and evil could produce someone as wonderful as Frank I'd never know.
I opened my mouth to curse, to yell, to make my point but my voice failed me and I was left with a bitter silence and a tingling of mint on the tip of my tongue. It was the kind of silence the penetrated your mind, stinging your ears a deafening you - silence had never been so loud.
My mother led me swiftly away from the woman, back towards Mikey, Bob and the cop's cars. As I was sat down in some fold out chair, handed sweet tea in case I was in any state of shock, my mind could only drift back to the events of the night before. Frank had kissed me. He had fucking kissed me. I allowed the sentence to ring in my ears for a bit, replaying the whole scene in my head over and over until I was snapped back into reality by the crackling of a police radio.
It turns out that a couple of the cops had located and caught Frank and they wanted one of the cars to come and get him as they weren't sure they'd physically be able to get him back on their own. It was weird - I didn't see this side to Frank when I met him in school that Monday. He seemed like a perfectly normal kid, not the kind to be running naked through parks and fighting cops. But then, they do say - never judge a book by it's cover. And this book was a pretty complex novel.

*

I recon it was only about half an hour later when the cop cars returned but it felt like an eternity of sitting in that asparagus-green fold our chair, being desperately questioned by my mother, brother and friend.
"Well how long were you in the wood, Gee?"
"Did you get hurt? Did Frank get hurt?"
"Did you get off with him in the trees, eh? Ha ha!"

So many questions were being fired at me that it kind of hurt my brain. So it was a massive relief when the car pulled up along side us, a constant banging at the window in the back and screaming which penetrated the car doors. Everyone, including Frank's mother, gathered around the police officers who I could hear explaining the situation at hand as best they could. But my attention was drawn to the shaking; screaming car, abandoned by the others.
I think the cops said something like 'he needs some time to cool off' and 'he isn't safe just yet' holding off the rest of the spectators. But I just couldn't help myself. As the others busied themselves with the officers' dull stories, I crept up to the side of the car and the banging subsided. I could, quite clearly, see a hand pressed up against the slightly blacked-out glass and the faint outlines of Frank's face and body behind.
I put my own hand against the window, in line with Frank's as tears brewed in my eyes. Unlike most times this happened, I just let them fall. There was no point hiding my emotions now that they were so obvious and strong.
The face of the boy with in the car possessed that same mad-man look that I had seen in his eyes the night before yet this time, far more intense. Yet behind those widened; blood shot eyes there was also pain and regret. It was like Frank was still in there, begging to be set free from a body and brain who clearly he couldn't always control.
I knew what it was like to sometimes loose control of myself, allowing me to easily empathize with the guy. My thought trailed back to all of those times my emotions had got so extreme that I had been violently sick. Or when I was panicked, how my chest would tighten, my stomach being stabbed with an invisible knife before passing out on the floor. I couldn't help it - it just happened.
My face screwed up with pain just thinking about it and, I could tell, Frank had picked up on that. he pressed his forehead up against the dark glass, looking at me with sorrowful eyes. I noticed that his face had softened again and he'd returned to his normal self - he was Frank once more. Gently, I lent forward and kissed the window where his head lay, mouthing to him
'you're going to be okay...'
But honestly, I didn't know if he really was...

*

That night, after picking away at a cold dinner and staring blankly out of the window (avoiding conversation at all costs) I lay back on my bed, hands folded underneath my head. I couldn't help but think how sad and alone Frank looked inside that car. He was locked up like a zoo animal and there was nothing I could do to save him. Mum had made me and Mikey leave quite soon, saying we should give Ms. Iero and Frank some space. But Bob decided to stay, despite my mum's words against it. He really wanted to see Frank, besides - they were best Friends.
I found out from Bob, during a few lunchtimes, that he and Frank has known each other since grade two, when Bob was new to the school. But Frank welcomed the kid with open arms, being the very sociable type he was. Iero managed, single-handedly to get everyone in their whole school to know each other. I didn't really know how he did it - but he just did. Frank really just needed to be surrounded by happiness and friendship. He needed to know there was always someone to turn to, no matter where he was.
That part kind of made me envy him in a way. I wish I had the social skills of the kid; I wish I had had such an army of friends around me.
However, that all changed when he reached high school. Suddenly, no body wanted to know Frank anymore. He was just considered the weird emo kid, a misfit, an untouchable. This hurt him a lot and eventually drove him to insanity.
It was apparently around 2 years ago when Frank was diagnosed with bipolar and manic depression. When he was on his highs, he would be a great and entertaining person to be around. He was buzzing with ideas all the time and luckily he managed to channel the energy and excess genius into doing something worth while - a skill not many people with the condition had. He became very into his guitar playing and was quite the musical star! But soon Frank became very hard for his friends to handle. His head was just so full of everything that soon he went completely insane.
Frank had always had a little crush on Jamia, and right before he went mad, Bob started dating her. It was okay for a while, until the madness crept up on him and - BAM! Frank beat the living daylights out of his best friend. He had no idea what he was doing and it was heartbreaking really. Luckily, Frank had told his friends everything so Bob knew how to handle him. He called 911 and an ambulance came and took him away. He was soon referred to Ashton Mental hospital, just down the road from me and Mikey's current home. The hospital put him on a high dose of Lithium but when his body reacted badly, many other kinds of drug. Soon, Frank was returning to his normal self. He settled down, got his grades up and carried on with his guitar playing. Eventually he worked up the nerve to come out as bisexual and his friends welcomed that, totally okay with it all. He decided against telling his mother who was very religious herself. His father, on the other hand, was fine also about it as he too used to be bisexual until he met Ms. Iero.
So apparently, Frank had not had a single episode until yesterday. Nobody, so far, knows what caused it but I couldn't help but think it was my fault.

I just lay there, staring into the empty blackness of my room and secretly wishing my bed would swallow me up. Maybe Frank's mother was right? Maybe it was my fault. The tears came back, stinging my eyes as if someone has just thrown a bucket of salt on them.

All the crying eventually caused my eye lids to swell up, becoming heavier and more of a struggle to hold open. I gave into my body's wishes and turned into my dampened pillow, drifting into the world of dreams...