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Chapter 20 – No One Will Love You The Way I Do

The rest of Slipknot was as excited about the possibility of Joey going home as Mick was. They had been living in the tour bus in a nearby carpark after the tour was cancelled, and apparently it was getting a bit 'rough'. Having their drummer back and fit was also appealing. Shawn had the look of a man who was contemplating re-scheduling tour dates, and Mick sensibly left him alone.

Sid devoured the rest of the doughnuts as he perched on the end of Joey's bed.

“So,” he mumbled through a mouth of strawberry doughnut, “what do you think will be the first thing you do when you get home?”

It was a completely innocent question, but Mick had to stifle his splutter of laughter. There was only one thing he was planning on doing when they got home, and he didn't think the others would appreciate hearing it. Joey seemed to be thinking along the same lines, and he shared a knowing smile with Mick. His answer to Sid was careful.

“Well.... shower I guess. Sleep in my own damn bed.” He shrugged, trying to stop his shoulders from shaking.

“Mmmm... fair enough. I just want a shower. Stuff sleeping. I feel like I'm starting to grow fuzz.”

Sid's line was just what Mick and Joey needed. They released their laughter under the cover of a response to Sid, trying not to shake too much.

Completely unaware, Sid carried on eating. Corey grabbed a doughnut from the box, winking at Mick. He knew what Mick wanted to do when he got home... but politeness prevented him from commenting. Joey grabbed Mick's hand under the blanket, sharing another smile.

The nurse interrupted their visit. Jim hid behind Shawn as she drew blood, not liking the needle. Shawn just rolled his eyes.

“We'll have the results in about an hour,” she mentioned as she left, not realising just how how much the men in the room were anticipating said result.

It was hard for them to settle again after she'd left, knowing it was only going to be a little while. Corey paced the room, and after a short while Chris joined him. Joey was fiddling with the bed covers, occasionally kissing Mick on the lips when the desire hit him. Mick hid his nervousness well, stroking Joey's back and playing with his hair.

The others sat around, not talking. Craig was on his laptop, as per usual, with Jim peering over his shoulder every now and then. Sid calmly ate his way through the reasonably large box of doughnuts, and Joey wondered how he wasn't sick already. Shawn was on his Blackberry, and Paul seemed to be staring at the wall. The clock was ticking too slowly.

Slowly, without hardly realising, Joey leaned back into Mick and fell asleep. Mick wrapped his arms around him, brushing his lips over Joey's forehead. He fought the urge to sleep as well, despite his anxiety for the test results. He settled for resting his head against Joey's, resisting the temptation to close his eyes. He listened to Joey breathe softly, almost becoming hypnotised.

And when the doctor came back, Shawn had to tap him on the shoulder.

“Mick? Doctor's here.”

Mick sat up with a start. He'd become lost in thought, and hadn't heard the knock on the door.

The doctor smiled sympathetically. “I'm sorry it took so long. We got his results back. He seems fine. I'd like to release him this afternoon.”

The irony was that Joey slept through it. Mick didn't the heart to wake him, sleeping so quietly. All he could was hug him tighter, pressing him closer. Joey sighed in his sleep and turned his head into Mick's neck, not rousing. Mick hid the tears in his eyes by burying his face in Joey's hair, swallowing the rising emotion in his throat.

He just wanted to take Joey home... and now finally, he could. All the worry, the anxiety, the tension that had engulfed him over the better part of the last week was starting to lift. He knew he wouldn't relax completely until Joey was at home, happy and healthy, but it was a huge step.

Shawn seemed to know Mick needed a few moments. With some well chosen words he thanked the doctor in a way that told him he needed to go now, and he left quietly, knowingly. A hand on his back was supporting Mick, and he let it rest there as he forced the tears from his eyes.
Joey was so still in his arms as he sat up, and he just stared at him for a few moments before looking up to see Shawn before him. Mick didn't notice, but the room was deathly quiet.

Shawn didn't say anything, he didn't need to. He just smiled, and Mick found himself reciprocating. He didn't want to say it, but he wished he was alone with Joey right now. The others seem to know though, and he heard them creeping out. Shawn whispered something about getting lunch, and Mick nodded without looking at him.

Mick let Joey sleep on for a while. He refused to lay him back down on the bed and let him go. Time ticked on, but Mick wasn't counting seconds. He couldn't stop gazing at Joey, studying the lines on his face and the fall of his hair. And when Joey sighed, his eyelids starting to flutter, Mick was there.
The rest of Slipknot was as excited about the possibility of Joey going home as Mick was. They had been living in the tour bus in a nearby car park after the tour was cancelled, and apparently it was getting a bit 'rough'. Having their drummer back and fit was also appealing. Shawn had the look of a man who was contemplating re-scheduling tour dates, and Mick sensibly left him alone.

Sid devoured the rest of the doughnuts as he perched on the end of Joey's bed.
“So,” he mumbled through a mouth of strawberry doughnut, “what do you think will be the first thing you do when you get home?”

It was a completely innocent question, but Mick had to stifle his splutter of laughter. There was only one thing he was planning on doing when they got home, and he didn't think the others would appreciate hearing it. Joey seemed to be thinking along the same lines, and he shared a knowing smile with Mick. His answer to Sid was careful.

“Well.... shower I guess. Sleep in my own damn bed.” He shrugged, trying to stop his shoulders from shaking.

“Mmmm... fair enough. I just want a shower. Stuff sleeping. I feel like I'm starting to grow fuzz.”

Sid's line was just what Mick and Joey needed. They released their laughter under the cover of a response to Sid, trying not to shake too much.

Completely unaware, Sid carried on eating. Corey grabbed a doughnut from the box, winking at Mick. He knew what Mick wanted to do when he got home... but politeness prevented him from commenting. Joey grabbed Mick's hand under the blanket, sharing another smile.

The nurse interrupted their visit. Jim hid behind Shawn as she drew blood, not liking the needle. Shawn just rolled his eyes.

“We'll have the results in about an hour,” she mentioned as she left, not realising just how much the men in the room were anticipating said result.

It was hard for them to settle again after she'd left, knowing it was only going to be a little while. Corey paced the room, and after a short while Chris joined him. Joey was fiddling with the bed covers, occasionally kissing Mick on the lips when the desire hit him. Mick hid his nervousness well, stroking Joey's back and playing with his hair.

The others sat around, not talking. Craig was on his laptop, as per usual, with Jim peering over his shoulder every now and then. Sid calmly ate his way through the reasonably large box of doughnuts, and Joey wondered how he wasn't sick already. Shawn was on his Blackberry, and Paul seemed to be staring at the wall. The clock was ticking too slowly.

Slowly, without hardly realising, Joey leaned back into Mick and fell asleep. Mick wrapped his arms around him, brushing his lips over Joey's forehead. He fought the urge to sleep as well, despite his anxiety for the test results. He settled for resting his head against Joey's, resisting the temptation to close his eyes. He listened to Joey breathe softly, almost becoming hypnotised.

And when the doctor came back, Shawn had to tap him on the shoulder.
“Mick? Doctor's here.”

Mick sat up with a start. He'd become lost in thought, and hadn't heard the knock on the door.

The doctor smiled sympathetically. “I'm sorry it took so long. We got his results back. He seems fine. I'd like to release him this afternoon.”

The irony was that Joey slept through it. Mick didn't the heart to wake him, sleeping so quietly. All he could was hug him tighter, pressing him closer. Joey sighed in his sleep and turned his head into Mick's neck, not rousing. Mick hid the tears in his eyes by burying his face in Joey's hair, swallowing the rising emotion in his throat.

He just wanted to take Joey home... and now finally, he could. All the worry, the anxiety, the tension that had engulfed him over the better part of the last week was starting to lift. He knew he wouldn't relax completely until Joey was at home, happy and healthy, but it was a huge step.

Shawn seemed to know Mick needed a few moments. With some well chosen words he thanked the doctor in a way that told him he needed to go now, and he left quietly, knowingly. A hand on his back was supporting Mick, and he let it rest there as he forced the tears from his eyes.

Joey was so still in his arms as he sat up, and he just stared at him for a few moments before looking up to see Shawn before him. Mick didn't notice, but the room was deathly quiet.

Shawn didn't say anything, he didn't need to. He just smiled, and Mick found himself reciprocating. He didn't want to say it, but he wished he was alone with Joey right now. The others seem to know though, and he heard them creeping out. Shawn whispered something about getting lunch, and Mick nodded without looking at him.

Mick let Joey sleep on for a while. He refused to lay him back down on the bed and let him go. Time ticked on, but Mick wasn't counting seconds. He couldn't stop gazing at Joey, studying the lines on his face and the fall of his hair. And when Joey sighed, his eyelids starting to flutter, Mick was there.

“Hey....”

It was barely more than a soft whisper, but Joey heard. He smiled sleepily, and then yawned.

“Mmmmphhffff,” he muttered between his hands as he tried to stifle his yawns. Mick chuckled. Early bed time for Joey tonight.... or perhaps not, if he had his dirty way.

“Where is everyone?” Joey asked tiredly, eyes still blinking away the sleep.

“Gone for lunch. You missed the doctor,” Mick pointed out playfully, raising his eyebrows.

That snapped Joey awake. In his soporific state, he'd forgotten. He wriggled upright until he was sitting on Mick's lap, arms around his neck. “What did he say?” he asked, breathlessly.

Mick just smiled.

“Don't tease me! Tell me!” Joey demanded. Mick only grinned wider.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. “He said... he said you could go home today.”

Joey gaped. “Really?”

“No. Actually, you'll be here for the rest of the year. I'm going home, but the nurses will take care of you, I'm sure. At least, they'll leave you a few food trays every now and again.”

Joey pouted. “Don't be silly!”

“I'm not!” Mick laughed. “I'm telling the truth! Seriously!”

“Liar.” Joey stuck his lower lip out.

Mick's train of thought diverted to how cute Joey looked right then. Sulky and surly suited him. Joey seemed to realise he'd forgotten what they were talking about, and shifted on Mick's lap, resisting the urge to cough.

“Stop staring at me, and talk to me instead!”

“Ok, ok!” Mick prolonged Joey's torture by laughing at him for a moment.

Then, he let his grin fade. Serious now, he tightened his grip on Joey's waist.
“Honestly? Honestly, you are going home today. WE, are going home.”

Joey couldn't speak. He was pleased, he was anxious, he was full of things and he didn't know what.

It was nearly all a bit too much. Now that finally, he could GO HOME, Joey just wanted to leave. He wanted to be there already, throw himself down on his bed and sleep. With Mick beside him. It was almost too overwhelming to think that Mick was going to be there with him from now on.

Joey knew he was going to cry. He was overtired, his body still ached, and his brain couldn't take much more. Mick could see it.

“Hey hey hey... it's ok.... shhhhhh...”

He hugged Joey to his chest, letting him bury his face into his neck. His hands rubbed the smaller man's back slowly and gently, trying to calm him. Under his fingers he could feel Joey shaking with each sob, and on the skin on his neck he could feel the warm tears. His heart ached as he held Joey. There was nothing more he could do, other than try and soothe him.

In time Joey would recover, his body would rid of the scars. And Mick would be there, always. He vowed that right then. And Joey's cries began to fade, his tears began to dry and his shoulders ceased to shake.

But Mick didn't let go. Joey's hands were clinging to Mick, as if Mick was the boulder that held Joey down and if he let go, he would be lost. Mick was his reality.

And Joey let his eyes close again. He was safe.


The End