FicWad

Death by definition is the end of the life of a person. What if it isn’t that simple? What if you hold someone else’s life in your hands, if you die, they die. If, knowing this, you were given the choice to live or die, would you be selfish or continue living?

They found me just lying out in the street. I was bloody, hurting, and at this point wanting nothing more than death. Nursing me back to health, these creatures somehow managed to keep me alive. As things were explained I began to understand that the existence of these things was rested solely in my hands. If I was to die an entire race would be destroyed.

I didn’t care then and I don’t care much more now. The night creatures, vampires and werewolves, are not the best of company. Normally they are moody and tired. Life with a bunch of hundred year old men gets boring after a few years. Although I carry around the urge to die I continue to live, pushing my own selfish desires deep down. It isn’t the life I chose but, it is the life I live.

_____

“Violet, breakfast,” a voice says from the doorway.

Instead of lifting my head I continue to stare at the picture in my lap. A happy family smiles up at me. I was everything my parents ever wanted. Although we lived modestly due to a lack of decent income, I never felt deprived. When I died in 1995 at the mere age of sixteen my parents spent a year grieving before bringing another child into the world. I just hope their happy.

“Violet, come on,” the voice says again.

This time I look up, coming face to face with Michael. Of all the creatures that crowd into this tiny house he’s my favorite. Michael, or Mikey as most call him, never pushes me to do anything. He doesn’t tell me what I can’t do…normally he explains that I’m welcome to do anything I want except leave or die.

“I’m not hungry,” I tell the scruffy haired boy. “You can bring me coffee though.”

Mikey smiles, “Are you really going to hide in this room forever?”

“Probably,” I answer dully, wondering if Gerard will come up and talk today.

“Alright, I’ll have someone bring you up a cup.”

Mikey leaves and about ten minutes later, his dark haired brother enters, holding a cup with steam pouring out. I eye it greedily as Gerard continues to just stand there. The light blue mug is handed over and I take a few small sips, burning my tongue.

“Mikey tells me you’re planning on staying up here,” Gerard says, sitting Indian style on the bed.

I take another sip from my coffee, “I don’t really understand why it’s any of your business.”

The dark haired vampire sighs, his hazel eyes flicking around the room I’ve plastered over in hand drawn pictures. I’ve kept myself shut up in the tiny attic room since they brought me here, two years ago; having only seen more of the world when I escaped, once, for about five months. The only time I come out is when we take trips into town. I’m more than content keeping to myself. I prefer the company of my thoughts to being around the creatures that inhabit the small house.

“I just want you to be happy Violet. I know none of this is by choice but you don’t have to be miserable,” Gerard explains.

Rolling my eyes I shake my head, “No Gerard, I’m not miserable. I’d be happier if I was still in heaven or if I was dead or if I was back with the others but there’s no misery. You should stop worrying about me.”

“I worry because I care,” Gerard answers, reaching out to take my hand.

I pull away, wrapping my arms around my knees that are already squeezed to my chest, “You care because I’m keeping you alive.”

Again the dark haired, intensely attractive vampire sighs, “That’s not it Violet. What can I do to show you that?”

“Let me out, let me explore…bite me,” I answer, slowly crawling towards him.

In truth I’m curious about these creatures. Sure, I dislike them but it doesn’t mean I can’t wonder or find them attractive. I’ve wanted to be changed for a while. I feel like things would become easier if I was a vampire. I’d understand how they felt. One thing is for sure though, no one would have to worry about me offing myself...it’d be too much work.

As I tilt my head to the left, exposing my neck, Gerard stops breathing. His icy fingers play over my exposed skin. Just as his lips lay on my jugular the door swings open.

Shit.

Frank glares at me, green eyes squinted, his body tense. I just glare back as Gerard pulls away. I can almost taste the hostility in the air. Why did that stupid little prat have to walk in when I was so close to what I desire?

“You really should stop trying to seduce Gerard,” Frank says with a smartass smirk on his face.

“And you should learn to knock, or were manners not taught when you were alive?” I retort

Frank just scoffs. The short, shaggy haired vampire remains in the doorway until Gerard sighs, getting up off the bed.

“It’s for the best Violet,” he mumbles before disappearing down the steps, Frank following closely behind.

Once again I’m left alone. Having nothing else to do I pull open the window and hoist myself onto the roof. It’s only when I notice the large, black crow perched on the chimney that I decide it’s not worth it. Filled with rage I slam the window closed, causing a few figurines to fall off my desk.

As the anger and hurt grows, things begin to fly around my small room, crashing into walls. Half drawn pictures fall from the desk and onto the floor. The entire time I just stand in the middle of it, never touching anything. After about five minutes I collapse onto the white throw carpet. Nothing like that has ever happened before. I was positive that when I was cast out of heaven my powers where taken. I guess I was wrong.

Instead of cleaning things up I just lie there, staring at the ceiling. If I ever get out of this prison the first thing I’m going to do is kill myself.

At exactly twelve – thirty Mikey enters my room, his honey colored hair sticking up in a few places. His eyes, hazel like this brothers, look at the mess that covers my floor. Instead of saying anything he steps over a few things, handing me a bowl of alphabet soup.

“What happened?” he questions, climbing onto the bed, careful to avoid touching me. He’s one of the few that is conscious of my dislike of contact.

“I got upset,” I reply before shoving a spoonful of the lukewarm soup into my mouth. “You’re wondering how I did it, answer is I don’t really know.”

Mikey just nods; not at all surprised I’d pulled the thoughts from his head…I’ve always been able to read minds. I suppose that should have been a sure hint that I had not lost my powers. I just never really paid much attention. Normally I try and stay out of the minds of those I live with.

“You didn’t touch any of it did you?”

“No, it just kinda started flying around. I don’t think I broke anything,” I answer.

“I’ll help you clean it up if you’d like,” Mikey offers as he looks out over my floor. “I’m sorry we keep you here. If it was up to me you’d be free.”

I smile at him, “You don’t have to lie.”

“I’m not. You can’t help it that you keep us alive. It’s not our place to keep you captive. You don’t want to die anymore, do you?”

I nod, “I’ll always want to die. It’s just something that’s there. I just have a weird fascination with it.”

“Gerard almost bit you this morning.”

I almost choke on my soup. I can’t believe this. How could they tell Mikey? He’s not going to trust me anymore. Gerard’s kid brother is the one person I can stand to be around for long periods of time. What am I going to do if he decides he hates me?

“I know,” I reply trying not to say too much on the subject. I hope Mikey doesn’t know I was the antagonist in said situation.

“I’m glad he didn’t.”

“Why is that?”

Mikey smiles his enlarged canines on display, “I like hearing your heart beat. If it was to just disappear one day I’d miss it.”

All I can do is nod. I really have no idea what to say. I’m used to being alone. Most of the vampires, or werewolves in Mikey and Ray’s case, want nothing to do with me. Maybe Mikey just feels bad because I’ve suffered through almost two and a half years in this dump.

As Mikey awkwardly pats my knee I begin to think about this whole death thing. Maybe, if I actually try being nice to these people, we could get along. I’m not miserable here but it does get boring just sitting on my bed all day long. Then again, who am I kidding? To most of these creatures I’m just a fallen angel who is keeping them alive. The mere mention of friends would have them laughing at me.

“I’ll come back up in about an hour to help you clean up,” Mikey says before leaving.

Slumping back against the wall I decide to just accept my fate. There is no way out of here. Even if there was, I have a feeling I wouldn’t get too far. I only know my way to town. Unless I manage to convince someone to take me with them I’d be stuck.

Why, oh why, couldn’t I have just behaved myself while I was in heaven? None of this would be happening had I been able to keep my mouth shut. Alas, I was and still am a rebellious teen that never learned how to silence my thoughts.

The only way to get out of this hell hole is to die again. I guess, as of now, that is my only option.


Author's Note: So here's the chapter, yay! I hope all of you like it. Characters will start coming in within the next few chapters. I have a question...does anybody wanna be my friend. All my friends have kinda stopped talking to me. Alright, anyways, enjoy. R&R