Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I can't stop now, because I'm dancing! [frerard]
Hey, guys! I’m sorry it took me so long this time, but this chapter. For some reasons, was a bitch to write. It’s not as good as I wish it was, but I keep rewriting it and it doesn’t improve much. Anyway, I hope the last paragraphs will make it up for you, because something is finally happening!
Sometimes I was wondering what was Death Defying’s position along all the partisans.
Usually, thoughts like that didn’t occupy my mind a lot, because there was so much to do and learn. For us, he was our mentor. We woke up in this place, knowing absolutely nothing and he was the first one who explained us how the world was working now. He helped us to see the light. He gave us food, water, clothes, weapons and everything we needed to survive. But most importantly – he believed in us. However, he couldn’t be our nanny. There had to be lots of other things he was doing.
He never told us anything, though. Maybe he knew he didn’t have to, because day by day we were discovering more facts and after some time we could make some assumptions.
First thing we noticed was that he was disappearing somewhere each day, at the same time. Also, in one of the rooms we found radio equipment and as soon as Dr D. caught us there he scowled at us and the yelled to never touch anything, because we destroy everything in our sight and that it would the best if we got the hell out of there. Which we did, because dealing with mad Death Defying wasn’t the best option.
After some time of eavesdropping and observing, we realized that along with Show Pony (who was sometimes accompanying him), he was broadcasting obviously illegal transmissions on his pirate radio station. It was really cool, but most of all very useful.
Most of the time Pony was gathering information from different people, sometimes talking with them, sometimes taking the car and driving to other bases and sometimes riding on his rollers (though it was a mystery how he managed to stay safe doing so).
Dr. Death Defying was arranging transmissions and by the end of the day it was on air. He was talking about everything – weather, food delivery, guns transport, last missions and anything useful. However he had to be careful with words, because there was high possibility that the information could get in wrong hands.
We usually listened to the transmissions outside in the car or sometimes on the old radio we found in the storage room and we managed to get it fixed. But one day, I and Jet Star were sitting next to the door of the radio station, waiting for the news from the first hand. It was always great to listem to them directly from Dr. D., though we never understood why Pony never revealed any information before transmissions.
This time it was really short.
“Hey there out on the dessert, all you rock’n’rollers, crash queens and motor babies! You’re here with me, Dr. Death Defying. Keep your boots tight, sunshines. Kitty jumped out of the bag and has sharpened his claws on the crag. Candies got ghosted and if no one tames the cat, even their shadows won’t live on without them. Put your masks on and move towards the big ball of radiation we call the sun, but remember, it will burst you into flames if you stay in one place too long.”
I bit my lip. These weren’t good news.
We heard Pony rolling to the room and he stopped as he noticed us.
“You know what that means?” he asked seriously.
“What are Candies?”
“Motor babies from the delivery section” he explained. “Most of the teams have a name, it’s easier to communicate” he added and disappeared in the darkness of Dr. D’s room.
“Zones up to 4 are out, huh?” asked Jet Star and I nodded. The line between zone 4 and zone 5 was called the crag, because it was dividing a world where we were relatively safe, from where dracs had patrols every hour and we were even seen from the city.
“That’s not good. There isn’t many of us. It all sucks” I mumbled, more to myself than anyone else. To hell with all the food, weapons and anything else we lost. There wasn’t many of us left.
*
For the first few days after our trip to the magazine I was determined to go back and bring as much stuff as we possibly could, because the information we gathered so far was priceless and it was only a small part of all the materials hidden in the boxes. I wasn’t the only who had such thoughts, because Kobra supported my idea right away, along with Poison. Even Jet Star agreed, though he mumbled something about safety and other stuff like that.
But after the incident from the day before I was bummed. The magazine was in the zone 5 which was still in the “safe” area, but I knew there was no way in hell D. would allow any of us to go there. He even threatened us that he would take away the car keys if tried.
It wasn’t surprising, actually. Just like he said the other day, we were quite reckless about everything we did and it was a miracle we were still alive. Going to the magazine would be pushing our luck one step too far.
“But it’s just really fucking important” Poison told me that evening. “The information we got is priceless and it was only a small part of materials that is hidden in the boxes. Who knows what we could find out. And, you know… Knowing about all of this and what I lost or maybe could have, it makes it easier to be here. Like… I had a real purpose in taking Korse down.”
And I really couldn’t agree more with his words.
*
Later that night, when everyone was already sleeping, I stayed up for quite a long time, re-reading all the magazines we brought with us. I felt useless and I was hoping to find something that would trigger my memory once more. It didn’t happen, though, I only found a picture of Gerard in his skeleton onesie, one we laughed about weeks ago. I crawled back to my bunk, trying to be as quick and silent as only possible. I couldn’t sleep that night, though. I was turning and wiggling all the time and those short moments I was almost unconscious were completely restless.
Sometime about 3 am. (I guess, because it was long time after I went to bed, but not long enough to let the sun rise), I heard some noises from the outside. I perked up instantly, trying to focus on it. It was a sound of a diesel engine, possibly from a truck. It was quite loud, but guys were so fast asleep, they didn’t even move. I was about to get up and find out what was happening, when I heard Pony’s light steps, approaching to the front door and soon after the motorized wheelchair traveling through the corridor. Their voices were muffled, mostly due the distance, but I guessed they didn’t talk loud either. However I could tell, they weren’t alone, because I could distinct other, high-pitched voices, that were definitely not theirs.
I slipped down from my bunk and curiously peeked through the door. In the end of the corridor, the front door was opened, so I could see Pony talking conversationally with two women. By the tone of his voice I could tell he knew them and we were safe. Behind their figures, I spotted a hood of, as I predicted, a truck.
I crept back to our room and stood next to Poison’s bed. I had to suppress a giggle, because he was hugging pillow with both of his hand like it was a teddy bear and he was slightly drooling on it. I shook softly his shoulder and he made an unhappy noise. I tried again.
“Poison, come on” I whispered to his ear. “You gotta wake up.”
“Uh-huh” he mumbled and tried to turn on the other side to get away from me, but I just tightened my grip.
“Come on, dude. I need you to see something.”
He opened one eye and scowled at me with it. “What?”
“There is a truck in front of the building. Pony is talking to two women, who probably drove it. Please?”
It took him a while to proceed the information then he whined a little, but eventually he pulled down the covers and followed me.
We squatted next to the door and decided to only eavesdrop a little, because it was quite obvious that D. didn’t want us there. Otherwise he would have woken us up. I was closer to the door, Poison behind me, leaning softly on my shoulder, to have a better look, but also not to fall down, because he was still quite sleepy.
There were two young woman, probably around 25 years old, maybe a little more. One of them had really long, light-brown, curly locks. Her clothes were all black, except for the jacket which was bright green. The other one was also dressed all in black, but her hair was definitely standing out with its pink colour and sharp cut.
“That’s Sharky Ringer” Poison informed me. She was the one who got the key after we stole it from the reactor, so obviously they already met, when I was having nice tea and cookies with Korse. “And the other one is probably Electric Razor, but I’m not sure.”
But just before I opened my mouth to say something back, we noticed someone’s slim legs in front of us. We looked up and saw very unimpressed Pony.
“Well, well” he said. “Is there any way of keeping the surprise for you?”
I couldn’t muster any reply, but Poison turned his puppy eyes mode on and Pony just giggled. “Okay, go wake up Kobra and Jet Star, alright?”
We immediately stood up and almost run to our room. I dragged Star out from his bed and Poison took care of his little brother. In couple of minutes we were standing outside the building, next to the truck and a pile of familiar boxes standing next to it.
“Hey guys” greeted us girls in unison.
“Hi” I mumbled.
“You must Fun Ghoul” said the girl with pink hair. “I’m glad to see you alive. They told us you were caught by Korse” she continued. “God, you have to tell me how you made it here! Anyway, I’m Sharky Ringer and this is my friend, Electric Razor.”
I waved to them politely and smiled widely. I was really curious about the boxes, though. I couldn’t wait to get them open and peek inside. I could tell Poison was thinking about exactly the same thing, but the rest not really.
Kobra Kid was nervously trying to flatten his hair and Jet Star had no idea what to do with his hands. I was trying to shoot a “knowing look” to Poison, but he was too busy asking about boxes.
“Some are from the magazine in zone 5, aren’t they?” he asked and Sharky nodded. “And the rest of them? How did you get them, by the way?”
“Oh, these bigger boxes are mainly filled with food, but also with some tools and… paints, I guess?” said Razor and Gerard almost squealed. She cocked an eyebrow at him, but he just beamed. “Anyway, Dr. D. told us you need the stuff from the magazine, so we got this. We do the delivery thing after hours” she continued and giggled a little.
“How about we take all of this inside?” suggested Sharky. “It’s pretty fucking late and I’m dreaming about a bed. We can lodge here, can’t we?
We nodded in agreement and with Pony’s help we moved all the boxes to the storage room. Fortunately, with all seven of us it took us only couple of minutes.
“You can sleep upstairs, there is one double bed” said D. “Hope you don’t mind?”
“Not at all” said Razor.
“Hey, I was thinking… We need to stay in this zone for a while. Maybe some of you would like to go with us on patrol, hmm?” asked Sharky and cutely bit his lower lip.
Before I had even time to consider this, Kobra and Jet Star had their hands raised.
“Okay, awesome” she replied. “See you in the morning.”
*
“Do I look acceptable?” asked me Kobra next day in the morning. I just smirked knowingly and patted his shoulder.
“Better than that. Have fun.”
Just like it was said the day before the got into the car, all of four of them and head off to the desert. Girls promised to show them couple of interesting places, since we didn’t have that much time or possibilities to sightsee so far.
I stayed with Poison, but I didn’t complain. Especially since I soon discovered why Poison was so ecstatic when he discovered that we had paint.
“They would be cute couples” I mumbled to myself as I was trying out different colours of paint in spray on the cardboard I found earlier in the storage room. “Romance on the desert. Isn’t it fucking romantic?”
“What?” Poison asked me confused and to emphasize his point, he cocked his eyebrow.
“Oh, boy. You really didn’t notice, did you?” He shook his head in a reply. “Man, your little brother is totally into Sharky Ringer. And I think Jet Star with Electric Razor would make quite a nice couple” I told him smiling.
“Really?”
I nodded. “And why do you think they agreed to go on patrol with them so willingly? For the research?”
“Oh, wow…” he mumbled. “Yeah, now when you say that. Huh, Kobra going for pink haired and pierced girl. And he seemed to be such a shy kid!” he said laughing. “And don’t you think Electric Razor is too long name? I’m gonna call her Electra.”
I started to laugh uncontrollably. “Do you think she looks alike? And by the way, I think Star would kill us if he heard us…”
“She would have to bleach absolute shit out of her hair. And Star doesn’t have to know” he said winking at me. “What is the scariest shit in the world, my dear Fun Ghoul?” he asked after a while.
“Spiders” I replied with no hesitation. I expected him to laugh, but he just nodded. “Why do you ask?”
“Because we actually need to paint something on this car, don’t we? And I think a black spider with lightening-like pattern on its abdomen will be kickass” he said with a content smile.
“Jeez, Poison, you’re fucking disgusting! We totally have to do this!” I exclaimed and he beamed to me. “What else? American flags on the sides? Some stripes to make it more sport-ish?”
“Yes, all of this. And maybe…”
“You know, what? When D. calls others by the radio he usually begins with something like Look Alive, Sunshine… Have you heard that?” He nodded and there was no way he wouldn’t, because we’re crawling next to D.’s door to hear him talking to others almost every night. “Maybe we could paint on the trunk?”
“Whoa! Awesome idea. This is going to look really bad ass” he replied with a grin.
And with that we started our work. We used almost all the duck tape that girls brought us (and Pony was going to be SO mad at us, I felt it in my guts) to make precise stencils on the car’s body. Obviously, Poison insisted on doing the harder job – the spider on the hood and he left me flags and the text on the back of the car. When our job was done and took some steps backwards to admire Poison’s work. His design of the spider was impressive, especially since he didn’t sketch it before or anything.
“Wow, that looks great” I told him. “Now we have a proof you really did go to this fancy art school.”
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s quite okay, I guess. I wonder… If I finished SVA as you say, why did I end up in a band?” he asked me, looking at me hopefully.
I sighed, thinking of how I should put this into words. “When you finished college you started to work for Cartoon Network in New York. You were unfortunate enough to be in the city when the towers went down… You know what I’m talking about?”
“I remember historical events” he told me with a weak smile. I nodded, that was promising.
“When the towers went down you were there, you saw that all. When someone asked you about it, you used to say that it changed your point of view and you decided to take completely different career path, do something inspiring and new. Hence the band” I explained and hoped it was good enough reply.
“And this is how I met you?”
“Yes. I guess” I answered confused, because I wasn’t sure about that. All I knew is that I wasn’t with them from the beginning.
“Then it was a good decision” he told me, smiling but looking away.
Then it hit me. All those stupid looks, unfinished sentences, gazing away – he knew something I didn’t.
“Why do you think so?” I asked carefully, in the meantime looking for the red paint I knew I saw laying somewhere.
Instead of replying he took the black paint in his hands and started to spray it over the hood carefully. “We’re friends, aren’t we?” he finally said. And it wasn’t a reply I wanted to hear.
I bit my lip, trying to think of words I should put my thoughts in. “Poison…?” I said trying to catch his attention. “Please, let’s not be mad at each other this time, ok? I’m just trying to figure out what is happening, because I believe it’s important.”
He still wasn’t looking at me, but nodded anyway.
“Okay, so. I’m assuming we were really close and how you stressed about me being caught and then sick and also about not remembering stuff about me and other shit, this all is a proof for that. Am I right?”
“I guess.”
“Then why I have the feeling you’re hiding something from me?” I asked finally causing him to stop in a mid motion. I could tell I surprised him with that question. “Gerard?”
“Don’t call me that. I don’t remember being Gerard and surely that life is not coming back to me” he spat suddenly.
I fell silent for a moment, trying to analyze his words. “So let me get this straight. Is this thing bothering you, because you think it’s not coming back?”
“You’re a smart guy, Ghoul. Probably one of the most intelligent people I had ever a chance to encounter. So you surely know what the thing, as you please to call it, actually is. I have no fucking idea what was between us back then, because I don’t remember anything as you think I am. And I’m not fucking hiding anything. What I’m trying to do is not to make things awkward, because my assumption is – if you don’t remember nor feel anything, then sure as hell it never happened, for a good god damn reason.”
In then end of the speech Poison’s voice was no longer calm and steady. He was standing there, with the black spray paint in his right hand, all shaking. Suddenly all my limbs felt very heavy and I couldn’t move, nor breathe. I had no idea how should I respond to this. My stomach tightened and my head felt dizzy.
Moment after the can of paint landed on the ground and Poison just left, leaving me next to the car, with our unfinished painting.
[*And what do you think? Please rate&review!
Sometimes I was wondering what was Death Defying’s position along all the partisans.
Usually, thoughts like that didn’t occupy my mind a lot, because there was so much to do and learn. For us, he was our mentor. We woke up in this place, knowing absolutely nothing and he was the first one who explained us how the world was working now. He helped us to see the light. He gave us food, water, clothes, weapons and everything we needed to survive. But most importantly – he believed in us. However, he couldn’t be our nanny. There had to be lots of other things he was doing.
He never told us anything, though. Maybe he knew he didn’t have to, because day by day we were discovering more facts and after some time we could make some assumptions.
First thing we noticed was that he was disappearing somewhere each day, at the same time. Also, in one of the rooms we found radio equipment and as soon as Dr D. caught us there he scowled at us and the yelled to never touch anything, because we destroy everything in our sight and that it would the best if we got the hell out of there. Which we did, because dealing with mad Death Defying wasn’t the best option.
After some time of eavesdropping and observing, we realized that along with Show Pony (who was sometimes accompanying him), he was broadcasting obviously illegal transmissions on his pirate radio station. It was really cool, but most of all very useful.
Most of the time Pony was gathering information from different people, sometimes talking with them, sometimes taking the car and driving to other bases and sometimes riding on his rollers (though it was a mystery how he managed to stay safe doing so).
Dr. Death Defying was arranging transmissions and by the end of the day it was on air. He was talking about everything – weather, food delivery, guns transport, last missions and anything useful. However he had to be careful with words, because there was high possibility that the information could get in wrong hands.
We usually listened to the transmissions outside in the car or sometimes on the old radio we found in the storage room and we managed to get it fixed. But one day, I and Jet Star were sitting next to the door of the radio station, waiting for the news from the first hand. It was always great to listem to them directly from Dr. D., though we never understood why Pony never revealed any information before transmissions.
This time it was really short.
“Hey there out on the dessert, all you rock’n’rollers, crash queens and motor babies! You’re here with me, Dr. Death Defying. Keep your boots tight, sunshines. Kitty jumped out of the bag and has sharpened his claws on the crag. Candies got ghosted and if no one tames the cat, even their shadows won’t live on without them. Put your masks on and move towards the big ball of radiation we call the sun, but remember, it will burst you into flames if you stay in one place too long.”
I bit my lip. These weren’t good news.
We heard Pony rolling to the room and he stopped as he noticed us.
“You know what that means?” he asked seriously.
“What are Candies?”
“Motor babies from the delivery section” he explained. “Most of the teams have a name, it’s easier to communicate” he added and disappeared in the darkness of Dr. D’s room.
“Zones up to 4 are out, huh?” asked Jet Star and I nodded. The line between zone 4 and zone 5 was called the crag, because it was dividing a world where we were relatively safe, from where dracs had patrols every hour and we were even seen from the city.
“That’s not good. There isn’t many of us. It all sucks” I mumbled, more to myself than anyone else. To hell with all the food, weapons and anything else we lost. There wasn’t many of us left.
*
For the first few days after our trip to the magazine I was determined to go back and bring as much stuff as we possibly could, because the information we gathered so far was priceless and it was only a small part of all the materials hidden in the boxes. I wasn’t the only who had such thoughts, because Kobra supported my idea right away, along with Poison. Even Jet Star agreed, though he mumbled something about safety and other stuff like that.
But after the incident from the day before I was bummed. The magazine was in the zone 5 which was still in the “safe” area, but I knew there was no way in hell D. would allow any of us to go there. He even threatened us that he would take away the car keys if tried.
It wasn’t surprising, actually. Just like he said the other day, we were quite reckless about everything we did and it was a miracle we were still alive. Going to the magazine would be pushing our luck one step too far.
“But it’s just really fucking important” Poison told me that evening. “The information we got is priceless and it was only a small part of materials that is hidden in the boxes. Who knows what we could find out. And, you know… Knowing about all of this and what I lost or maybe could have, it makes it easier to be here. Like… I had a real purpose in taking Korse down.”
And I really couldn’t agree more with his words.
*
Later that night, when everyone was already sleeping, I stayed up for quite a long time, re-reading all the magazines we brought with us. I felt useless and I was hoping to find something that would trigger my memory once more. It didn’t happen, though, I only found a picture of Gerard in his skeleton onesie, one we laughed about weeks ago. I crawled back to my bunk, trying to be as quick and silent as only possible. I couldn’t sleep that night, though. I was turning and wiggling all the time and those short moments I was almost unconscious were completely restless.
Sometime about 3 am. (I guess, because it was long time after I went to bed, but not long enough to let the sun rise), I heard some noises from the outside. I perked up instantly, trying to focus on it. It was a sound of a diesel engine, possibly from a truck. It was quite loud, but guys were so fast asleep, they didn’t even move. I was about to get up and find out what was happening, when I heard Pony’s light steps, approaching to the front door and soon after the motorized wheelchair traveling through the corridor. Their voices were muffled, mostly due the distance, but I guessed they didn’t talk loud either. However I could tell, they weren’t alone, because I could distinct other, high-pitched voices, that were definitely not theirs.
I slipped down from my bunk and curiously peeked through the door. In the end of the corridor, the front door was opened, so I could see Pony talking conversationally with two women. By the tone of his voice I could tell he knew them and we were safe. Behind their figures, I spotted a hood of, as I predicted, a truck.
I crept back to our room and stood next to Poison’s bed. I had to suppress a giggle, because he was hugging pillow with both of his hand like it was a teddy bear and he was slightly drooling on it. I shook softly his shoulder and he made an unhappy noise. I tried again.
“Poison, come on” I whispered to his ear. “You gotta wake up.”
“Uh-huh” he mumbled and tried to turn on the other side to get away from me, but I just tightened my grip.
“Come on, dude. I need you to see something.”
He opened one eye and scowled at me with it. “What?”
“There is a truck in front of the building. Pony is talking to two women, who probably drove it. Please?”
It took him a while to proceed the information then he whined a little, but eventually he pulled down the covers and followed me.
We squatted next to the door and decided to only eavesdrop a little, because it was quite obvious that D. didn’t want us there. Otherwise he would have woken us up. I was closer to the door, Poison behind me, leaning softly on my shoulder, to have a better look, but also not to fall down, because he was still quite sleepy.
There were two young woman, probably around 25 years old, maybe a little more. One of them had really long, light-brown, curly locks. Her clothes were all black, except for the jacket which was bright green. The other one was also dressed all in black, but her hair was definitely standing out with its pink colour and sharp cut.
“That’s Sharky Ringer” Poison informed me. She was the one who got the key after we stole it from the reactor, so obviously they already met, when I was having nice tea and cookies with Korse. “And the other one is probably Electric Razor, but I’m not sure.”
But just before I opened my mouth to say something back, we noticed someone’s slim legs in front of us. We looked up and saw very unimpressed Pony.
“Well, well” he said. “Is there any way of keeping the surprise for you?”
I couldn’t muster any reply, but Poison turned his puppy eyes mode on and Pony just giggled. “Okay, go wake up Kobra and Jet Star, alright?”
We immediately stood up and almost run to our room. I dragged Star out from his bed and Poison took care of his little brother. In couple of minutes we were standing outside the building, next to the truck and a pile of familiar boxes standing next to it.
“Hey guys” greeted us girls in unison.
“Hi” I mumbled.
“You must Fun Ghoul” said the girl with pink hair. “I’m glad to see you alive. They told us you were caught by Korse” she continued. “God, you have to tell me how you made it here! Anyway, I’m Sharky Ringer and this is my friend, Electric Razor.”
I waved to them politely and smiled widely. I was really curious about the boxes, though. I couldn’t wait to get them open and peek inside. I could tell Poison was thinking about exactly the same thing, but the rest not really.
Kobra Kid was nervously trying to flatten his hair and Jet Star had no idea what to do with his hands. I was trying to shoot a “knowing look” to Poison, but he was too busy asking about boxes.
“Some are from the magazine in zone 5, aren’t they?” he asked and Sharky nodded. “And the rest of them? How did you get them, by the way?”
“Oh, these bigger boxes are mainly filled with food, but also with some tools and… paints, I guess?” said Razor and Gerard almost squealed. She cocked an eyebrow at him, but he just beamed. “Anyway, Dr. D. told us you need the stuff from the magazine, so we got this. We do the delivery thing after hours” she continued and giggled a little.
“How about we take all of this inside?” suggested Sharky. “It’s pretty fucking late and I’m dreaming about a bed. We can lodge here, can’t we?
We nodded in agreement and with Pony’s help we moved all the boxes to the storage room. Fortunately, with all seven of us it took us only couple of minutes.
“You can sleep upstairs, there is one double bed” said D. “Hope you don’t mind?”
“Not at all” said Razor.
“Hey, I was thinking… We need to stay in this zone for a while. Maybe some of you would like to go with us on patrol, hmm?” asked Sharky and cutely bit his lower lip.
Before I had even time to consider this, Kobra and Jet Star had their hands raised.
“Okay, awesome” she replied. “See you in the morning.”
*
“Do I look acceptable?” asked me Kobra next day in the morning. I just smirked knowingly and patted his shoulder.
“Better than that. Have fun.”
Just like it was said the day before the got into the car, all of four of them and head off to the desert. Girls promised to show them couple of interesting places, since we didn’t have that much time or possibilities to sightsee so far.
I stayed with Poison, but I didn’t complain. Especially since I soon discovered why Poison was so ecstatic when he discovered that we had paint.
“They would be cute couples” I mumbled to myself as I was trying out different colours of paint in spray on the cardboard I found earlier in the storage room. “Romance on the desert. Isn’t it fucking romantic?”
“What?” Poison asked me confused and to emphasize his point, he cocked his eyebrow.
“Oh, boy. You really didn’t notice, did you?” He shook his head in a reply. “Man, your little brother is totally into Sharky Ringer. And I think Jet Star with Electric Razor would make quite a nice couple” I told him smiling.
“Really?”
I nodded. “And why do you think they agreed to go on patrol with them so willingly? For the research?”
“Oh, wow…” he mumbled. “Yeah, now when you say that. Huh, Kobra going for pink haired and pierced girl. And he seemed to be such a shy kid!” he said laughing. “And don’t you think Electric Razor is too long name? I’m gonna call her Electra.”
I started to laugh uncontrollably. “Do you think she looks alike? And by the way, I think Star would kill us if he heard us…”
“She would have to bleach absolute shit out of her hair. And Star doesn’t have to know” he said winking at me. “What is the scariest shit in the world, my dear Fun Ghoul?” he asked after a while.
“Spiders” I replied with no hesitation. I expected him to laugh, but he just nodded. “Why do you ask?”
“Because we actually need to paint something on this car, don’t we? And I think a black spider with lightening-like pattern on its abdomen will be kickass” he said with a content smile.
“Jeez, Poison, you’re fucking disgusting! We totally have to do this!” I exclaimed and he beamed to me. “What else? American flags on the sides? Some stripes to make it more sport-ish?”
“Yes, all of this. And maybe…”
“You know, what? When D. calls others by the radio he usually begins with something like Look Alive, Sunshine… Have you heard that?” He nodded and there was no way he wouldn’t, because we’re crawling next to D.’s door to hear him talking to others almost every night. “Maybe we could paint on the trunk?”
“Whoa! Awesome idea. This is going to look really bad ass” he replied with a grin.
And with that we started our work. We used almost all the duck tape that girls brought us (and Pony was going to be SO mad at us, I felt it in my guts) to make precise stencils on the car’s body. Obviously, Poison insisted on doing the harder job – the spider on the hood and he left me flags and the text on the back of the car. When our job was done and took some steps backwards to admire Poison’s work. His design of the spider was impressive, especially since he didn’t sketch it before or anything.
“Wow, that looks great” I told him. “Now we have a proof you really did go to this fancy art school.”
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s quite okay, I guess. I wonder… If I finished SVA as you say, why did I end up in a band?” he asked me, looking at me hopefully.
I sighed, thinking of how I should put this into words. “When you finished college you started to work for Cartoon Network in New York. You were unfortunate enough to be in the city when the towers went down… You know what I’m talking about?”
“I remember historical events” he told me with a weak smile. I nodded, that was promising.
“When the towers went down you were there, you saw that all. When someone asked you about it, you used to say that it changed your point of view and you decided to take completely different career path, do something inspiring and new. Hence the band” I explained and hoped it was good enough reply.
“And this is how I met you?”
“Yes. I guess” I answered confused, because I wasn’t sure about that. All I knew is that I wasn’t with them from the beginning.
“Then it was a good decision” he told me, smiling but looking away.
Then it hit me. All those stupid looks, unfinished sentences, gazing away – he knew something I didn’t.
“Why do you think so?” I asked carefully, in the meantime looking for the red paint I knew I saw laying somewhere.
Instead of replying he took the black paint in his hands and started to spray it over the hood carefully. “We’re friends, aren’t we?” he finally said. And it wasn’t a reply I wanted to hear.
I bit my lip, trying to think of words I should put my thoughts in. “Poison…?” I said trying to catch his attention. “Please, let’s not be mad at each other this time, ok? I’m just trying to figure out what is happening, because I believe it’s important.”
He still wasn’t looking at me, but nodded anyway.
“Okay, so. I’m assuming we were really close and how you stressed about me being caught and then sick and also about not remembering stuff about me and other shit, this all is a proof for that. Am I right?”
“I guess.”
“Then why I have the feeling you’re hiding something from me?” I asked finally causing him to stop in a mid motion. I could tell I surprised him with that question. “Gerard?”
“Don’t call me that. I don’t remember being Gerard and surely that life is not coming back to me” he spat suddenly.
I fell silent for a moment, trying to analyze his words. “So let me get this straight. Is this thing bothering you, because you think it’s not coming back?”
“You’re a smart guy, Ghoul. Probably one of the most intelligent people I had ever a chance to encounter. So you surely know what the thing, as you please to call it, actually is. I have no fucking idea what was between us back then, because I don’t remember anything as you think I am. And I’m not fucking hiding anything. What I’m trying to do is not to make things awkward, because my assumption is – if you don’t remember nor feel anything, then sure as hell it never happened, for a good god damn reason.”
In then end of the speech Poison’s voice was no longer calm and steady. He was standing there, with the black spray paint in his right hand, all shaking. Suddenly all my limbs felt very heavy and I couldn’t move, nor breathe. I had no idea how should I respond to this. My stomach tightened and my head felt dizzy.
Moment after the can of paint landed on the ground and Poison just left, leaving me next to the car, with our unfinished painting.
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