FicWad

How MCR saved my life: Shadow

Hi, my name is Shadow, and this is how MCR saved my life.

'Kay, so this is my story. Without MCR I wouldn't be here today, right now, typing. I would have been in the fiery depths of Hell, or in an endless void, or whatever the hell there is after this life.

I was in 6th grade. I had absolutely NO friends whatsoever because my dad was in the military and moved around a lot. it didn't matter anyway, since I never had any friends to leave in the first place. I was ten. My dad was always deployed (to Afghanistan or some other places. Too many to name) and my mom would never listen to me because she was so social and had too many friends to talk to on the phone or visit and would never even give me a second of her attention. So I had to walk 6 miles to school everyday.

Nobody would talk to me and I was the 'loner'. I always daydreamed. It made me feel like there was something more to life than this shit I was going through. I was taken away to another world. I would go into my own world for hours on end, creating characters in my head. I got in trouble a lot too. One day, a kid didn't like the way I lived in my head. He used to beat me up every single fucking day. my mother never noticed and my dad was always away, so no one noticed. The teachers decided it was none of their damn business, and the kids liked seeing me hurt.

As I was walking to school, I was cut by a thorn on the rose bush by the sidewalk, and as I looked at the blood, I felt as if every single one of my worries and troubles flowed out with the blood (this sounds cliche, but it's true). I cut more and more. Nobody noticed. The kid kept beating me up and got some others into harming me too. I just wanted everything to end. So I thought, 'Hey, what if I can bleed out? I'm not going to live here and deal with this shit.'

So I planned to kill myself. The rest of the day, I was thinking about all the things that could happen once people found I was dead. One hour it would be 'I'd pass in silence. No one would ever see me again and no one would care. My dead body would rot in my room', the next hour it would be 'Breaking News: Ten year old suicide'.

I liked to blast my music in my room when my mom was out, so I was listening to some random station, about to kill myself, when SING came on the radio. I fell in love with the song. I searched up the band and listen to more of their songs, and found hope.

Famous Last Words. I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Taught me that I should keep on living, no matter what.

I'm Not Okay. I'm not o-fucking-kay. Taught me to speak up, get help. Stand up straight and tell the fucking world that I'm not okay. That I'm suffering in silence here.

SING. Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind, sing about everyone that you left behind. Sing it for the ones that'll hate your guts. Sing it for the WORLD. Taught me that I should use my voice and let people know that I'm not their bitch, I'm my own fucking person.

MCR taught me to be myself. I stopped cutting completely, and even made a new friend who cares for me and sticks with me through thick and thin.

I still daydream. I still have an uncaring mother and a father in a different country. But I have changed a lot, in a good way. And I owe it all to My Chemical Romance. I will never forget the day that I had that razor in my hand, sleeves pulled up, and music blasting. That warm feeling deep down when SING came on. I will never forget MCR.

I'm in 8th grade now. Found out about FicWad, and joined, my daydreams coming to life in fanfiction form.

No matter how sucky your life is, just know: There is hope. That lost feeling will somehow disappear, no matter what your passion is. There is a light at the end of what seems to be an endless dark tunnel. Never give up, never give in. Stand up fucking tall and know that your not alone. You're different and you're proud.

I'm Shadow fucking Lee, and MCR saved my life.