FicWad

What was I thinking? Why would someone ever love me? I let myself fall for a stupid lie and look what happens, you end up broken hearted. I should have listen to my best friend, my one true love, Gerard. Now I have no one. I pushed him aside for someone who clearly didn't give a damn about me. Who just use me for his own pleasure. I was so stupid! I shouldn't have let Gerard go. What type of friend am I? A asshole of a friend is what I am. Now he's with Lindsay. I should just give up on life. I have nothing to live for anyways. My parents hate me for my sexuality, I lost my best friend, everyone hates me and pushes me around...... I have no one. What more is there to live for?

I looked around at surroundings, I some how found my way into a park, but not just any park. My neighborhood park. The place Gerard and I were rarely allowed do to the crimes and dangers around us. New Jersey. If we were allowed to go to the park, which was probaly once every month or so, we would run around and have as much fun as possible. Not that we didn't have fun at home or anything, but we loved being out doors. We could've explore the world together. Every where I looked memories came to play in my mind. When I fell and scraped my knee and Gerard kissed it to make it feel better. When Gerard and I climb the tree and pretend to be monkeys. But most importantly ,when Gerard gave me my first kiss. We were sitting on the bridge above the small river, looking down at the little fishes that swam by. I remember it like it was yesterday.

"You have to be kidding me Frankie" Gerard laughed in shock.

"I'm serious, I've never had my first kiss!" I crossed my arms and pouted like a kid. How dare he judge me for my innocense.

"But everyone has had there first kiss, even me"

"I know, stop making fun me! It's not my fault no one wants me"

"That's not true"

"Yes it is. If someone wanted me they would've done something by now"

"Well guess what, I want you. If you weren't my friend who knows what would've been of me"

"That doesn't change the fact that I haven't had my first kiss"

"How about we change that now?" I looked at him confused. He can't just snap his fingers and make a girl appear, wanting to kiss me. Can he?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean y..you can k..kiss me" He lowered his head as he asked. He's so adorable.

"You...you want to kiss me?"

"Only is you want to, just to push aside the whole ' I never had my first kiss' thing. You don't have to if you don't want to" I secertly always had small feelings for Gerard. I always thought it was nothing, but everytime he would touch me or even look at me with his gorgoues hazel eyes, I got wierd feelings in my stomach. As girls say, buttterflies in there stomach. I nothing ,but a love sick teenager. I feel like such a girl.

"Actually, I do"

"Really?"

"Yeah" He smiled at me and turned to face me. I couldn't believe this was happening. I looked into his eyes as he slowly started leaning in. All of this was like out of a chick-flick. I slowly started leaning in. I couldn' help but think how far this was gonna go. Is it gonna make everything awkward between us? Will our friendship go farther? Will it ruin our friendship? I was too busy questioning myself I didn't realise how close he was. I leaned in again and connected our lips. We just sat there for a few seconds, not moving an inch in till Gerard started moving his lips. I started doing the same. The way we moved our lips together made me melt into the kiss. I snaked my hand arm his neck and placed my hand behind his head, pushing him more towards me, deepening the kiss. That earned me a moan from Gerard's mouth. He ran his tounge along my bottom lip. I didn't know what he wanted me to do. Should I do the same? He pushed his tounge into my mouth forcefully and started exploring my mouth. Now I understood what he wanted. I ran my tounge over his tounge and soon enough started battling for dominance. I moaned into his mouth. Never have I thought kissing would be this enjoyable. In the middle of our kiss we heard someone clear there throat. We qiuckly broke apart and looked up to see and woman around her forties. She looked down at us and smiled. Creepy.

"You two should probably do that somewhere else. You don't want some of none of this homophobes asshole to start talking shit" For a old lady she sure ass hell seems like a cool person.

"Oh no its not...."

"It's okay I understand" She patted our heads and walked away. I looked at Gerard and blushed. I can't believe we just did this.

A single tear ran down my face as I remembered that day. I knew from that moment on I was in love with him. He was my world, my everything and I let him go. I couldn't live without him. I walked slowly towards the bridge. I need him to live, I need him to survive this bitch of a life,...... I need him. I looked down at the what use to be a pond, now it's just a pile of rocks and little water. If I throw myself off the bridge head first would I die? Probably. I'll take the chance. I mean I have nothing to live for right? Everyone will be better off without me. I looked to my sides to make sure no one was coming. Clear. I started climbing the rails holding on to the pole, as I lifted my self up. I stood there, memories playing in my head. Goodbye world. "Good bye Gerard". I let go of the pole and let myself fall forward.

Suddenly I was grabbed by my arm and hung above the pond. Just looking down at the rocks as I dangled over them made me realise I didn't want to die. I looked up at the person and saw the last person who I thought wanted to see me. Gerard.

"What the fuck are you thinking Frankie?!" He looked at me with anger and concerned filled eyes as he held my arm.

"Isn't it obvious?! I have nothing to live for anyways, minus well make everyone elses life better without me in the picture!" I yelled. He gathered up all his strength and pulled me up. We fell on the wood boards of the bridge. He saved me. I can't believe he saved me. I was pulled harshly to my side and pined down.

"How can you possibly do this?! You think the is the answer to your problem?! This is by far the stupidest thing you've ever done!".

"This is the answer to every ones problem! All I ever do is cause problems for everyone and I'm tired of it!"

"Who have you cause problems to? Tell me" He said in a calm, caring voice.

"Like I said everyone!" I angrily got up and paced back and forth. "I...I'm a shame to my parents for who I am, the asshole you warned me about just riped my heart out and stomped on it repeatedly, and I caused you to hate me"

"I don't hate you Frankie, you have no idea how much you mean to me" He made his way towards me and placed one of his hand on my cheek.

"How can you say that? I pushed you aside, I told you I hated you, how can I mean so much to you?"

"You mean so much to me, because....because I...I love you" I looked into his eyes and saw he was being honest. He love me. He loves me! I grabbed is face and connected our lips together. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up and spun me around.

"I love you too"


I hoped you guys like it, I randomly wrote this cause I was just in the mood to write something. Please R&R! :)