FicWad

I jumped as Brendon leaned down, gaining my attention. “What are you reading?” He asked softly.

I pulled away, forcing a small amount of distance between us. “I wasn’t actually reading it.”

“Just staring holes through the paper?”

“Exactly.” I replied. My stomach growled and Brendon grinned.

“I’m cooking in .2 seconds. Calm yourself.” He muttered to my stomach, forcing laughter from my lips.

“Are you talking to my stomach?”

“It talked to me first.” Brendon replied, grinning.

I laughed harder, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Brendon replied, turning the heat up on the stove.

It went quiet as I watched Brendon gracefully move around the kitchen- the delicious smell of French toast meeting my nose, sending my stomach in to a growling frenzy.

“So, is this your favorite?” Brendon casually asked, as he loaded four pieces of French toast on to a plate. I watched him as he moved to the fridge, grabbing the syrup- and then a fork. He had it all covered.

Soon enough it was all being set out in front of me. “It is.” I answered, “Always has been.”

Brendon sat down beside me, “Let me know how you like it.”

I picked the fork up, twirling it between my fingers. “Thank you for cooking for me.” I felt a strong urge to be as nice as possible to Brendon; after all he was struggling through a lot because of me… It was hard to come to terms with but I didn’t hate him as much as I had when I had fallen sick.

“Anytime.” Brendon answered.

I took the first bite carefully, not wanting to eat too quickly. I didn’t particularly enjoy getting sick and last time had been catastrophic. “It’s really good. You don’t use cinnamon?” I asked, eating more, though slowly- as slowly as I could manage.

“I don’t.” Brendon answered, “I hate cinnamon.”

“Me too.” It really wasn’t as delicious as people made it out to be. “Cinnamon toast crunch is the only cinnamon thing I can think of that’s really good.”

I glanced up to see that Brendon was still watching me, though he’d fallen silent and was now frowning. “Penny for your thoughts?” I shrugged, “Actually I don’t have a penny but how about a piece of French toast for your thoughts?”

Brendon’s frown pressed his lips down. “I’ve been thinking over your words…”

“Don’t.” I begged, surprising myself. “They were cruel.”

“You were being honest.” Brendon pointed out. “As you said.”

“But I said it all wrong.” I shook my head, “I’m ashamed of what I’ve said.”

“Please don’t be.” Brendon stared at me, and whatever it was that I saw in his eyes caused me to drop my fork. I suddenly wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so badly. I wanted to feel the heat I’d momentarily felt when he’d kissed me in the bathroom. It would have been perfect if he hadn’t-

“Brendon, are you trying to control me right now?”

“No.” Brendon looked confused, “Why?”

“I just want to make sure that what I’m feeling is… what I’m feeling, and not what you’re forcing me to feel. I never know nowadays.” I said, laughing bitterly.

Brendon frowned, “I’m sorry. I won’t- I’ll try not to do it anymore.”

“Can we go outside tonight?” I asked, glancing around for a window but I couldn’t see one. “Is it night right now?”

“It is.” Brendon answered, his frown remaining in place. “Why?”

“I just want to go outside. Please?” I fought the urge to bite my battered lip as Brendon stared at me for several seconds, saying nothing.

“Are you going to try to run from me?” Brendon finally asked, sounding suspicious.

“Yeah, because with my bruised feet and your ridiculous speed… I’d get far.” I rolled my eyes, picking my fork back up, “Just forget I even asked.”

“I’m sorry.” Brendon immediately apologized, and I could hear it in his voice. “I’m just afraid of taking you outside now.”

“Why?” I asked, looking at my French toast instead of him.

“Last time you almost died Madeline, and you’re still recovering.”

“I was an idiot. I ran in to the forest barely wearing anything, with no shoes- and no Brendon to protect me.” I teased, looking back up at him.

Brendon was caught off guard, “You really… want me to come with you?”

“I do.” I replied, “That’s why I asked you- not Ryan. Remember, I do have options. At least one other option anyway.”

Brendon smiled, “Sure. We will have to go soon though, before the sun starts to come out.”

“Great!” I was finished eating anyway, “Can you grab us a sheet that we can take outside?”

“Sure.” Brendon answered, standing up swiftly.

“Oh, and Brendon?”

“Yeah?”

“You should eat some before we leave. I don’t want to be a midnight snack.” I teased.

He grinned but once he turned away from me a frown fell over his face.





**



“Where are we going?” Brendon asked, walking quietly behind me. I knew he wasn’t happy. I was wincing with every step and I wasn’t allowing him to carry me. He would get over it once we found a decent place though.

“Our sanctuary.” I replied, “It has to be a place that we both like- one that we can both come to and feel safe together.”

“Do you not feel safe at the house?” Brendon asked from behind me.

“No, you know that I don’t.” I replied. “This will be the place that we can be completely honest with each other- and it has to be a place where we can respect each other’s boundaries.”

“What about over there?” Brendon’s voice had dropped.

I turned around to find Brendon staring at a clearing to the side. I walked over, ignoring my own pain. Brendon followed me, and together we looked up at the stars- the branches from trees cleared out of the way.

“This is-“ I started but Brendon finished.

“-perfect.”

Brendon tossed the sheet to the ground and glanced at me, his eyes burning with desire, “This is our sanctuary then.” He whispered, “And we can be honest with each other.”

“Yes.” I breathed out, staring up in to his eyes.

“In all honesty it’s upsetting me that you won’t let me carry you.” Brendon whispered, eyes still burning in to me. “I don’t like it when you’re in pain.”

I made no move to step away from Brendon as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me mere inches from the ground. The pain was gone, all that was left was a gentle ache and the feel of Brendon wrapped around me.

“Brendon, look up.” I whispered, glancing up at the sky. Stars were everywhere, lighting the sky up. Brendon looked from me up to the sky, losing himself in the stars as well.

“We aren’t really different at all and that scares me.” I whispered, leaning against him as we glanced up at the stars. “It scares me that you can care for me because you’re hurting me so much.” Brendon shifted, and I could tell that he was uncomfortable. “And I don’t understand any of this- I’m not even sure that I want to.” I found my special star and closed my eyes, uttering a quick wish, “Make a wish.” I whispered to Brendon. “Because even we can look up and wish upon a star.”

I felt a surge of something between us and when I opened my eyes Brendon was still looking up at the sky- and I saw something different in him, something innocent.

The sky lit him up, and he didn’t have to brain wash me to make me see what I saw.



**



It was a soft but distinct crunch of hardened leaves that gained our attention and neither of us really had time to react before the impact broke us apart. I felt branches scratch against my arms before I fell to the hard ground. My vision was momentarily fuzzy but I fought to focus- worried for Brendon.

He had slammed against a nearby tree and was just getting back to his feet as I glanced at him, brushing hair from my face. My arm was burning in pain but I didn’t look at it, instead frozen in fear at the sight between Brendon and myself.

What was it?

“Madeline.” Brendon’s voice was thick with pain. Where was he hurt? I couldn’t tell from so far away. “Run as fast as you can and get Ryan.” The instructions flew through my mind but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave Brendon with this… this thing!

A low, deep growl was issued from inside of the furry creature, and it shook its head before focusing on Brendon. “I can’t leave you.” I choked out, still too scared to move.

Come on, where was my fearless nature? I wasn’t retired, not yet. I was still alive- and until the day I died I would still be who I had been before. I just had to find that person again.

“Please Madeline.” Brendon didn’t look away from the creature. It still hadn’t moved. “I need Ryan, and I need to know that you’re safe. I can hold it off. Once you start running it’s going to try to follow but I’ll stop it. Run as fast as you can. Do you understand?”

I nodded.

Brendon nodded in return and I knew what he expected.

I braced myself for the pain that I knew would come.

I turned and started running as fast as I could. I heard the sound of an impact behind me, and then a loud growl. The pain in my feet caused me to stumble, and I tripped- falling forward. My knees scraped against the hard ground as I stood up again.

I was going to run again but then I heard something that tore at a part of me I didn’t understand and probably never would. Brendon cried out in pain. I could tell it was controlled, meaning he was in more pain than he was allowing to be shown in his voice- and what he was showing was painful enough.

I couldn’t think it through and I couldn’t hope for Ryan to be back in time.

Without another thought I turned and started running back towards Brendon.