Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Physical Therapy, Music, and A Switch
Chapter Eight
“Aaaahhhh,” I stared at myself in the mirror, my mouth open, checking my teeth, the back of my throat, my tongue. I then closed my mouth and looked at the whole picture, “I love you, Brendon. I love you. And I’m not going anywhere. And I’m talking to myself in the mirror. Can I get any weirder? Cool,” I took a deep breath and just looked at myself.
Mentally, I was a wreck. Brendon was on his way to pick me up. He had texted me. And now I was realizing I didn’t know if I was prepared. My brain was going every which direction. What if it didn’t end well? What if Brendon ended up hating me again? What if he realized that I was no good for him after all these years? What if he falls over and I can’t help him up? What if he gets into a car accident on the way here? What if…
I needed to stop. My brain needed to stop chasing itself in circles. But it wasn’t going to. It would never stop asking questions. It would never stop being paranoid. But on the outside, I look calm. I looked okay, like I was ready to charge the world. I looked like I was ready for this date, like I was ready to sweep Brendon off his feet. It was nearing eight.
It was nearing eight and I wasn’t fully ready yet. I’d been too busy panicking to finish getting ready. But why was I so fluttery? I love him. I adore that boy more than anyone in the entire world. And then it hit me. Brendon was always early. For everything. Regardless of his prior disability. He’d be early. It was 7:53 and I had done nothing but put clothes on.
And now, looking at myself, I didn’t like my outfit anymore. What if he didn’t like my outfit? It would ruin the entire date! I ran into my room and pulled off my clothes as the bell rang. I then began to rummage through everything before I settled with a black button-up shirt and black jeans with converse. That’s good. It’s neutral. Yeah, neutral. But what if neutral was a bad thing?! What if it’s saying that I don’t want what he wants? What if it’s saying that I don’t want to date him? DAMMIT. The doorbell rang again.
I didn’t have time to change again. I ran into the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth and spritzed myself with some body spray. I then sprinted downstairs and pulled open the door. The fedex guy. It was the fucking fedex guy, “I have a package for a… Ryan Ross.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I yanked it from him and signed the thingy. I thought it was going to be Brendon. I was so scared that it was Brendon. And it wasn’t. It was the fedex guy. Is this what our entire relationship from now would be? I didn’t want that. I wanted happiness with him. Pure unadulterated happiness. Yes, I know that I just repeated myself in a more fancy word, but I don’t care. It’s what I wanted.
Just before I could close the door, I saw him pull up in a black Infiniti. And my breath caught. I watched him climb out and he smiled at me. He smiled at me and I melted. How was it that we’d been together, more or less, for five years and he still managed to make me melt with a single smile? And I wasn’t scared anymore. I wasn’t paranoid. I wasn’t panicky. I was happy. I was excited. He is the love of my life. And I got the chance to start over.
He walked over to me and held out flowers, “For you, my love,” and I felt my cheeks turn red. He was cheesy. Oh, so cheesy. But that’s okay. I loved it. I took them and leaned over to kiss him on the lips. He pouted, “No kissing. Kissing is for the second date!”
I pouted, “I can’t kiss you? That’s not fair. I can say that I love you, but I can’t kiss you?” that made no sense.
“Yep!” he chirped with a smile. I melted. I was going to melt every time he smiled at me. On this date and beyond. For the rest of my life, he’d be able to solve any issue with a smile. All he would have to do is smile at me and I would forget any problems we’d been having.
In the years we’d been separated, I’d forgotten about the things that made him so amazing. His smile, his voice, his beauty. Everything. I had forgotten how much I loved him. In the time between when I first saw him after the separation until now, he’d been holding it back. He hadn’t been happy. But now he was. He was happy. And I wasn’t going to ruin that.
And I did. Halfway through the date, I got a phone call. We were in the middle of a conversation about The Beatles vs The Rolling Stones when my phone obnoxiously started to ring. I ignored it and we kept talking. But it rang again. I sighed, “Sorry, I need to take this. It might be work.”
Brendon sat back in the chair. He looked defeated, “Okay…” I’d ruined it. I’d ruined it because of work. Of all things to ruin a date, it had to be work. I sighed and stood up and went to the bathroom.
“What is it? I’m on a really important d—”
“Ryan, Jerry’s in the hospital. We need you to come down and sign some paperwork. PRONTO.”
“Wait, what? I can’t sign that paperwork. Jerry’s my boss.”
“He won’t be for long. And he wants you to take his place.”
“He’s dying?”
“Well, no. But when he gets out of the hospital, he said he’s retiring. Because he’s done with this.”
“So he promoted me?”
“Yeah. So get your butt down here and sign the paperwork. It’s really important.”
“What is it?”
“It’s—That’s not important. The fact is you need to sign this paperwork. It’s legal stuff. And it’s important. And it needs to be signed tonight.”
“But, I’m on a date. And I can’t just leave…”
“Tell him it’s important!”
I sighed, “Okay, I’ll try to be there in ten minutes.”
“BE HERE IN FIVE!” and he hung up. I stared at my phone for a while before I pocketed it and made my way out. I went to the table and Brendon was fidgeting with his napkin. He looked upset. How was I supposed to tell him? How was I going to tell him that I had to leave?
I took a deep breath, “Well… That was work.”
He looked up at me, “Just go. Just fucking go. I’ll pay and go home,” he looked back down at the table and then at the napkin in his hands. Okay, now I really couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave like this. I ruined it. I really ruined it.
“Come with me.”
He slowly looked up at me, “What?”
“You heard me. Come with me. This is our date. And I’m not going to completely ruin it before dessert. I want you to come with me. And when I’m done with what I have to do, we’ll go ice skating or… whatever you had planned. I don’t want to lose you. Because I love you.”
A small smile played on his lips, “You know me so well… Are you sure it’s okay if I come? I don’t want to intrude on work stuff…”
“Well, I don’t care. You’re coming whether they want you to or not. How much is this meal? Like 40?” I asked before pulling out two twenties. Whether it was or not, I didn’t care. I was paying for it. I then pulled him out of his chair and smiled before leading him out to valet. I could tell he was happy now, happy that I wasn’t ruining everything. I was too.
I hadn’t ruined everything. I didn’t lose him. He still loved me. And I was okay. We drove off to the label and I jumped out of the car, “Meet me in Jerry’s office. The one that’s just a floor up from mine.”
“Okay,” he nodded, “Go!” and I ran inside. I ran to the elevator and went up to the bossman’s floor. I ran to his office and went inside. I saw the lawyers all standing around and I walked over.
“Good evening, gentlemen. What can I do for you?” I gave them a smile. And what they replied with, I can’t exactly remember because it was all just a bunch of legal jargon and all I got out of it was ‘We need you to sign this, stating that you are taking over for Jerald Jackson.’ That was easy enough. I moved over to the desk and signed on the line.
They smiled, “It was pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Ross. We hope you enjoy your new-found responsibility,” and with that, I left. Brendon was standing outside of the office. I looked at him and he just looked at me.
He wasn’t happy. He didn’t look happy. I was scared. I closed the door behind me and he spoke, “You didn’t tell me you were being promoted,” and my immediate thought was ‘is that important to tell you?’ but I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say. So he continued, “So are we just going to keep secrets now? Because I’m not going to be keeping secrets from you and I don’t think you should be keeping secrets from me. Find your own ride home,” he walked away. And I just stood there.
What the fuck was I supposed to do now? How was that a secret? I was going to tell him. I just wanted to be sure it was real, that I was actually getting promoted. If I wasn’t, I didn’t want to get his and my hopes up. But now he was gone. I was stranded at the office, and I had no idea what to do. Fuck.
---
A/N: I'm bad at just making cute stuff happen. But I promise, there will be a chapter of pure adorableness between the two of them. Soon. I promise, haha. And it really upset me that the last chapter didn't hit 3 reviews. :( Am I losing my touch? I really hope not... Anyway. This is up... the day before the sixth. My bad. Oh well. Haha. Here you go! :) PLEASE RATE and review. It would make me really happy to get 3!
A/N 2: So it seems fewer and fewer people are enjoying this story. So I'm going to end it in the next chapter. If no one's enjoying it, I'm not going to prolong it. So it was fun to write this while it lasted. And I hope you all enjoyed it.
“Aaaahhhh,” I stared at myself in the mirror, my mouth open, checking my teeth, the back of my throat, my tongue. I then closed my mouth and looked at the whole picture, “I love you, Brendon. I love you. And I’m not going anywhere. And I’m talking to myself in the mirror. Can I get any weirder? Cool,” I took a deep breath and just looked at myself.
Mentally, I was a wreck. Brendon was on his way to pick me up. He had texted me. And now I was realizing I didn’t know if I was prepared. My brain was going every which direction. What if it didn’t end well? What if Brendon ended up hating me again? What if he realized that I was no good for him after all these years? What if he falls over and I can’t help him up? What if he gets into a car accident on the way here? What if…
I needed to stop. My brain needed to stop chasing itself in circles. But it wasn’t going to. It would never stop asking questions. It would never stop being paranoid. But on the outside, I look calm. I looked okay, like I was ready to charge the world. I looked like I was ready for this date, like I was ready to sweep Brendon off his feet. It was nearing eight.
It was nearing eight and I wasn’t fully ready yet. I’d been too busy panicking to finish getting ready. But why was I so fluttery? I love him. I adore that boy more than anyone in the entire world. And then it hit me. Brendon was always early. For everything. Regardless of his prior disability. He’d be early. It was 7:53 and I had done nothing but put clothes on.
And now, looking at myself, I didn’t like my outfit anymore. What if he didn’t like my outfit? It would ruin the entire date! I ran into my room and pulled off my clothes as the bell rang. I then began to rummage through everything before I settled with a black button-up shirt and black jeans with converse. That’s good. It’s neutral. Yeah, neutral. But what if neutral was a bad thing?! What if it’s saying that I don’t want what he wants? What if it’s saying that I don’t want to date him? DAMMIT. The doorbell rang again.
I didn’t have time to change again. I ran into the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth and spritzed myself with some body spray. I then sprinted downstairs and pulled open the door. The fedex guy. It was the fucking fedex guy, “I have a package for a… Ryan Ross.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I yanked it from him and signed the thingy. I thought it was going to be Brendon. I was so scared that it was Brendon. And it wasn’t. It was the fedex guy. Is this what our entire relationship from now would be? I didn’t want that. I wanted happiness with him. Pure unadulterated happiness. Yes, I know that I just repeated myself in a more fancy word, but I don’t care. It’s what I wanted.
Just before I could close the door, I saw him pull up in a black Infiniti. And my breath caught. I watched him climb out and he smiled at me. He smiled at me and I melted. How was it that we’d been together, more or less, for five years and he still managed to make me melt with a single smile? And I wasn’t scared anymore. I wasn’t paranoid. I wasn’t panicky. I was happy. I was excited. He is the love of my life. And I got the chance to start over.
He walked over to me and held out flowers, “For you, my love,” and I felt my cheeks turn red. He was cheesy. Oh, so cheesy. But that’s okay. I loved it. I took them and leaned over to kiss him on the lips. He pouted, “No kissing. Kissing is for the second date!”
I pouted, “I can’t kiss you? That’s not fair. I can say that I love you, but I can’t kiss you?” that made no sense.
“Yep!” he chirped with a smile. I melted. I was going to melt every time he smiled at me. On this date and beyond. For the rest of my life, he’d be able to solve any issue with a smile. All he would have to do is smile at me and I would forget any problems we’d been having.
In the years we’d been separated, I’d forgotten about the things that made him so amazing. His smile, his voice, his beauty. Everything. I had forgotten how much I loved him. In the time between when I first saw him after the separation until now, he’d been holding it back. He hadn’t been happy. But now he was. He was happy. And I wasn’t going to ruin that.
And I did. Halfway through the date, I got a phone call. We were in the middle of a conversation about The Beatles vs The Rolling Stones when my phone obnoxiously started to ring. I ignored it and we kept talking. But it rang again. I sighed, “Sorry, I need to take this. It might be work.”
Brendon sat back in the chair. He looked defeated, “Okay…” I’d ruined it. I’d ruined it because of work. Of all things to ruin a date, it had to be work. I sighed and stood up and went to the bathroom.
“What is it? I’m on a really important d—”
“Ryan, Jerry’s in the hospital. We need you to come down and sign some paperwork. PRONTO.”
“Wait, what? I can’t sign that paperwork. Jerry’s my boss.”
“He won’t be for long. And he wants you to take his place.”
“He’s dying?”
“Well, no. But when he gets out of the hospital, he said he’s retiring. Because he’s done with this.”
“So he promoted me?”
“Yeah. So get your butt down here and sign the paperwork. It’s really important.”
“What is it?”
“It’s—That’s not important. The fact is you need to sign this paperwork. It’s legal stuff. And it’s important. And it needs to be signed tonight.”
“But, I’m on a date. And I can’t just leave…”
“Tell him it’s important!”
I sighed, “Okay, I’ll try to be there in ten minutes.”
“BE HERE IN FIVE!” and he hung up. I stared at my phone for a while before I pocketed it and made my way out. I went to the table and Brendon was fidgeting with his napkin. He looked upset. How was I supposed to tell him? How was I going to tell him that I had to leave?
I took a deep breath, “Well… That was work.”
He looked up at me, “Just go. Just fucking go. I’ll pay and go home,” he looked back down at the table and then at the napkin in his hands. Okay, now I really couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave like this. I ruined it. I really ruined it.
“Come with me.”
He slowly looked up at me, “What?”
“You heard me. Come with me. This is our date. And I’m not going to completely ruin it before dessert. I want you to come with me. And when I’m done with what I have to do, we’ll go ice skating or… whatever you had planned. I don’t want to lose you. Because I love you.”
A small smile played on his lips, “You know me so well… Are you sure it’s okay if I come? I don’t want to intrude on work stuff…”
“Well, I don’t care. You’re coming whether they want you to or not. How much is this meal? Like 40?” I asked before pulling out two twenties. Whether it was or not, I didn’t care. I was paying for it. I then pulled him out of his chair and smiled before leading him out to valet. I could tell he was happy now, happy that I wasn’t ruining everything. I was too.
I hadn’t ruined everything. I didn’t lose him. He still loved me. And I was okay. We drove off to the label and I jumped out of the car, “Meet me in Jerry’s office. The one that’s just a floor up from mine.”
“Okay,” he nodded, “Go!” and I ran inside. I ran to the elevator and went up to the bossman’s floor. I ran to his office and went inside. I saw the lawyers all standing around and I walked over.
“Good evening, gentlemen. What can I do for you?” I gave them a smile. And what they replied with, I can’t exactly remember because it was all just a bunch of legal jargon and all I got out of it was ‘We need you to sign this, stating that you are taking over for Jerald Jackson.’ That was easy enough. I moved over to the desk and signed on the line.
They smiled, “It was pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Ross. We hope you enjoy your new-found responsibility,” and with that, I left. Brendon was standing outside of the office. I looked at him and he just looked at me.
He wasn’t happy. He didn’t look happy. I was scared. I closed the door behind me and he spoke, “You didn’t tell me you were being promoted,” and my immediate thought was ‘is that important to tell you?’ but I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say. So he continued, “So are we just going to keep secrets now? Because I’m not going to be keeping secrets from you and I don’t think you should be keeping secrets from me. Find your own ride home,” he walked away. And I just stood there.
What the fuck was I supposed to do now? How was that a secret? I was going to tell him. I just wanted to be sure it was real, that I was actually getting promoted. If I wasn’t, I didn’t want to get his and my hopes up. But now he was gone. I was stranded at the office, and I had no idea what to do. Fuck.
---
A/N: I'm bad at just making cute stuff happen. But I promise, there will be a chapter of pure adorableness between the two of them. Soon. I promise, haha. And it really upset me that the last chapter didn't hit 3 reviews. :( Am I losing my touch? I really hope not... Anyway. This is up... the day before the sixth. My bad. Oh well. Haha. Here you go! :) PLEASE RATE and review. It would make me really happy to get 3!
A/N 2: So it seems fewer and fewer people are enjoying this story. So I'm going to end it in the next chapter. If no one's enjoying it, I'm not going to prolong it. So it was fun to write this while it lasted. And I hope you all enjoyed it.
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