Categories > Original > Horror

It's Killing Me...

by SerenityInSilence 1 review

FINISHED!!! Just a little something I've been dwelling on. I would like R&R's because I'm not really feeling this.

Category: Horror - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst - Published: 2012-09-06 - Updated: 2012-09-16 - 374 words - Complete

In the end, it's going to tear me apart and leave nothing but a shredded mask that hid fear and insecurity. I will try to wear it over and over again, hide behind apathy and indifference, but the jagged tears will let the truth seep through. They will know everything, and when they find out, I will lose this game of cat and mouse. They will finally get me, and rip me apart with their stingingly truthful words. And I will cry, and scream, and beg for them to stop, because the pain of their words is completely different from the numbing tear of a razor. They think they're just playing, that it's nothing, but the truth is, it's everything.
It's the lies and the distorted truth, the statements that at first you could shrug off and pretend they don’t hurt. The ones that eventually sink into your subconscious, until you start to think that maybe you really are fat or disgusting or a whore, when in reality you’re the complete opposite.
But the truth doesn’t matter when they want to hurt.
They’re unrelenting, unforgiving, even as the scars grow in number and in length. But that’s my best kept secret, although I have so many well kept others. There’s so many things that no one knows about me, that I’ve been hiding for such a long time underneath that mask. I’ve been pretending for so long that even I’m beginning to believe the lie, to become as artificial as an amputee’s plastic limb; not fully replacing what once was.
And that’s what scares me the most. 
I’m becoming fake. Hollow. Absorbing the mask that should’ve kept me safe. And when they leave the tattered fabrication, who will I become? I will be lost. I will be nothing. A defeated victim. 
It's scary how they could chew you up and spit you out without a second thought of the torture you suffer. Of the life they're ruining. But I am nothing to them. I am just Friday's entertainment, a nameless face that no one truly cares for.
You can say that's a lie, but I know it's the truth.
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