Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > To be or not to be...
Seeing Frank cry so intently made me weeze out sobs.
On the way home mom texts me.
Gerard Darling? Will you pick up some dinner/
Yea, Pizza cool?
Yes, Honey whatever you boys want.
Kay.
Thanks!
Mmhm...
"Hey douche in the back seat. Want Pizza?"
Ray Yells "Pizza!!!!"
"I'm taking that as a yes."
Frank smiles and takes my hand.
"Pizza sounds nice..." He says
He gives my hand a squeeze tehn let's it go.
I put my hand back on the wheel and almost smile.
I order two pizza's.
A Cheese and a Pepperoni.
We go home and mom totally embarrasses me infront of Frank...who im trying to dominate a bit. Since, i think i might want him.
I think i do i really do.
He's so sweet and sensitive...
"Oh Gerard!" Mom Exclaims "Thank you Baby Boy!" She sqishes and suffercates me by hugging me and kissing all over my hair.
"Ooh Gerard...what have you been washing yourself in? You're gonna have the girls all over you if you keep that up."
I clear my throat. "Not Interested."
"The boys then."
I smile "That's better."
I practically hear Frank licking his lips before i turn around to see he is. And panting a bit hardly too.
Damn...
He shuffles his feet.
That's one sexy boy right there...
AAAHHHH!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP WOULD YOU!?!
You will NOT Fall for Frankie! Frankie? Really? Really.
I Sigh and take a slice of pizza.
I eat in the recliner.
I didn't realize the brake was on it. When i lean back it almost topples over.
"Woe..."
I release the brake and sit back watching TV while i eat.
Frank right beside me on the couch.
I begin to fight with a strand of cheese.
Frank stands up and bites the strand between my face and the pizza.
I get this insane look on my face and swallow the mouthful hard.
Mom does a series of things. First she almost chokes when Frank bites the cheese strand and two when she see's my face she spurts out in laughter.
Frank sits down smiling. I finish, heart maybe...going a hundred miles a second. But it's pizza i ain't missin out.
Mom says. "By the way Gerard i just snapped a picture of Frank doing that and that awsome expression of yours on my phone..."
She holds it up and i notice in the picture how Frank's intently staring downward and my pizza and the smile on his face but not even the slightest blush.
I look at Frank "What are you anyway? You got blonde on both sides of your head and a black Lazy hawk in the middle. What are you? A mutant?"
He Laughs "No, Silly!"
Thank god Ray's in the guest room during all this Phew...
Mom Grins.
I stare her down "If i find that on facebook your head will be on my mantle. Even if Ray or Mikey or anyone of my freinds see that depending on the situation your hand finger or forearm is mine."
Mom giggles slightly,smiling "Rawr, so evil my little Baby Gerard is now that he's older."
She says this. As she's walking to dump her plate and small glass in the sink.
-
Later on that evening. Me and Frank had taken a nap. It's about 8;30. Ray comes down as we watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. He passes out. Me and Frank get him set up. He's already on the couch. I prop a pillow under his big fro head. Frank tosses me a quilt. I gently tuck it over him. He moans Mikey's name in his sleep and stirs a bit but stays in his deep sleep. As for me...i almost vomit all over Frank. We run up the stairs shoving eachother giggling.
I see that my box of "tools" are still laying out on my bed from the night before.
I shove it quickly under my bed with a gasp.
Frank asks "What's that."
He gets down on his knee's.
God he looks so [/hott like that. Like he's sucking- No! Do NOT think about that or like that you imbecile!!/]
He pulls it out.
I shake my head no and toss it back under.
He pouts behind his bangs.
"Frankie-" Oh god...
He starts crying.
I shut and lock my door. Closed inside the coldness and darkness of my room.
I hold him.
"You'd be ashamed of me if you saw the self harm i cause myself."
He smells nice.
I inhale deeply not realizing my head is placed on his shoulder.
He smiles a bit.
"Gerard i should be worried about you being disappointed in me."
He pulls on his hoodie to straighten it.
I shake my head no. Trying to reassure him that im a terrible thing.
The night before:Flashback.
I lay limp on my bed. I decide that Mikey needs to be checked on im sure he's fine but i want to make sure he's in bed and asleep. It's 3;10 a.m. Eh whatever it's an excuse to get up. I peak at the beautiful 12 almost thirteen year old dirty blonde in that bed. And think to myself I love that little dirty blonde fucker.I sit beside him on his bed as he stirs in his sleep and sighs this cute little moan. I pet his dirty blonde hair and think to myself. My blondey my little dirty blondey Mikey. I kiss his hair that smells like strawberry's set his glasses on the bedside table and watch him snuggle his unicorn as i walk out and shut the door. The door squeaks and i look in the mirror and become furious at my hideous reflection. "I hate you you son of a bitch i slam the door almost and lock it. I throw back my still wet from sweating hair and inhale deeply as i rip out the shoebox from under my bed and slice away at pure bare open in view raw skin with a triangle slick edge razor blade and smile sinisterly as the blood drips over my fingertips. I take the blade and wipe the blood onto the inside of the bottom of the shoebox. I let the cold water run over the five open wound slices now on my left wrist. I yelp a nice "Fuck!" as it burns like acid into my skin. I moan ow as i dry my arm i toss the towel aside. I hop onto my bed and sleep until my alarm awakens me once again...
I gulp and come back into reality.
I look at him.
I whisper "Why must you adore me so dear Frankie?"
"You didn't hate me at first sight or spit on me for no apparent reason."
I shrug. "But. I'm not a good person im terrible."
"Gerard. Look at me."
I do.
He holds my cheeks gently and strokes them with his thumbs.
"Gerard. Your perfect. Listen to me."
I Nod.
"My parents divorced the night before my tenth birthday. I have no hope. The only hope for me now is you. I had no hope before. I'm constantly being thrown back and forth between my drunken mother and retard of a father. Dad tried to make me straight but that didn't work. Of course. My mom anyhow, doesn't give two shits about who i am and where I'll wind up. All i am to her is a paycheck."
He sobs.
Then straightens up and swallows his nose and neck and throat red.
"I have been thrown out of two schools because of my fighting. Gerard. Im like a murderer i find death so beautiful and i love weapons."
I nod when he finishes "I'm listening Frank."
He has tears sparkling on his cheeks. "That's all i ever asked for and until now my praying for it never stopped." He grips my back of my jacket in a long lung busting hug.
i hold him as he slides into my lap a surprised gasp escapes from my throat.
He sighs depressingly "W-what?"
"Nothing Frank chill. It's all okay you know I'm here for you right?"
He nods "I do now "
I grip him as he grips onto me.
I stand up after he crawls in the corner. i sit with him.
"I'm sorry."
"For?"
"I just am sorry that im a jerk and i don't say the right things."
"Gerard,, you do, i should be sorry im a sissy and a pansy."
I smile "Me too."
We giggle.
Frank clears his throat and looks all serious "But seriously...im always here for you too..."
He was about to say another word that starts with a b.
"What was that Frank?"
He says blushing. "I was about to say baby. I don't know why.
I smile "Aw. Your Cute.
I jump at what had just came out of my idiotic lips.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY!?!
He smiles "Look who's talkin."
I sit on the bed rubbing and clenching myself with my leg and moaning so quietly im sure Frank can only here a fraction of it. Not even that.
I get close.
"Well. I grew up here in Jersey. And i was never appreciated by my father." I flinch at the memory of those crucial markings on my back. "he's in prison now. He was caught selling coke on the backstreets in the neighborhood. I hate myself. My reflection is a dumb ass. That's all i see.I'm scared of needles and other sharp objects. I like to draw and your voice and vibe comforts me somehow."I suddenly feel lightheaded dizzy and faint
I didn't realize it before and i don't know how i didn't but im crying.
I take a shaky breath and the darkness starts to surround me.
I black out.
-
I wake up to find myself being kissed on the cheek and a knife at my throat.
He whispers. "Are you ready to die?"
I swallow hard.
He pulls my knife away from my neck no...his knife.
He smiles. "This is my favorite knife."
"It's a fine" I pause "piece of art Frank."
He laughs manically and sets the knife aside.
When i realize. He's on my stomach and is now holding my cheek stroking it his eyes half closed slightly panting and licking his lips his black hair surrounding my face.
I blush.
As he whispers. "i think im in love with you.
I whisper. "I think i am in love with you."
I smile as he does.
He says. "I'm not a man whore whatsoever but i am slutty when im in love i got it all planned out. Iv had plenty of time to think since iv been lonely."
I smile "I know your not a wwhore. But i do know you're ready."
He smiles crossing my arms as he leans closer. Pinning them above my head.
Oh. Shit...
Cliffhanger!! XD
On the way home mom texts me.
Gerard Darling? Will you pick up some dinner/
Yea, Pizza cool?
Yes, Honey whatever you boys want.
Kay.
Thanks!
Mmhm...
"Hey douche in the back seat. Want Pizza?"
Ray Yells "Pizza!!!!"
"I'm taking that as a yes."
Frank smiles and takes my hand.
"Pizza sounds nice..." He says
He gives my hand a squeeze tehn let's it go.
I put my hand back on the wheel and almost smile.
I order two pizza's.
A Cheese and a Pepperoni.
We go home and mom totally embarrasses me infront of Frank...who im trying to dominate a bit. Since, i think i might want him.
I think i do i really do.
He's so sweet and sensitive...
"Oh Gerard!" Mom Exclaims "Thank you Baby Boy!" She sqishes and suffercates me by hugging me and kissing all over my hair.
"Ooh Gerard...what have you been washing yourself in? You're gonna have the girls all over you if you keep that up."
I clear my throat. "Not Interested."
"The boys then."
I smile "That's better."
I practically hear Frank licking his lips before i turn around to see he is. And panting a bit hardly too.
Damn...
He shuffles his feet.
That's one sexy boy right there...
AAAHHHH!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP WOULD YOU!?!
You will NOT Fall for Frankie! Frankie? Really? Really.
I Sigh and take a slice of pizza.
I eat in the recliner.
I didn't realize the brake was on it. When i lean back it almost topples over.
"Woe..."
I release the brake and sit back watching TV while i eat.
Frank right beside me on the couch.
I begin to fight with a strand of cheese.
Frank stands up and bites the strand between my face and the pizza.
I get this insane look on my face and swallow the mouthful hard.
Mom does a series of things. First she almost chokes when Frank bites the cheese strand and two when she see's my face she spurts out in laughter.
Frank sits down smiling. I finish, heart maybe...going a hundred miles a second. But it's pizza i ain't missin out.
Mom says. "By the way Gerard i just snapped a picture of Frank doing that and that awsome expression of yours on my phone..."
She holds it up and i notice in the picture how Frank's intently staring downward and my pizza and the smile on his face but not even the slightest blush.
I look at Frank "What are you anyway? You got blonde on both sides of your head and a black Lazy hawk in the middle. What are you? A mutant?"
He Laughs "No, Silly!"
Thank god Ray's in the guest room during all this Phew...
Mom Grins.
I stare her down "If i find that on facebook your head will be on my mantle. Even if Ray or Mikey or anyone of my freinds see that depending on the situation your hand finger or forearm is mine."
Mom giggles slightly,smiling "Rawr, so evil my little Baby Gerard is now that he's older."
She says this. As she's walking to dump her plate and small glass in the sink.
-
Later on that evening. Me and Frank had taken a nap. It's about 8;30. Ray comes down as we watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. He passes out. Me and Frank get him set up. He's already on the couch. I prop a pillow under his big fro head. Frank tosses me a quilt. I gently tuck it over him. He moans Mikey's name in his sleep and stirs a bit but stays in his deep sleep. As for me...i almost vomit all over Frank. We run up the stairs shoving eachother giggling.
I see that my box of "tools" are still laying out on my bed from the night before.
I shove it quickly under my bed with a gasp.
Frank asks "What's that."
He gets down on his knee's.
God he looks so [/hott like that. Like he's sucking- No! Do NOT think about that or like that you imbecile!!/]
He pulls it out.
I shake my head no and toss it back under.
He pouts behind his bangs.
"Frankie-" Oh god...
He starts crying.
I shut and lock my door. Closed inside the coldness and darkness of my room.
I hold him.
"You'd be ashamed of me if you saw the self harm i cause myself."
He smells nice.
I inhale deeply not realizing my head is placed on his shoulder.
He smiles a bit.
"Gerard i should be worried about you being disappointed in me."
He pulls on his hoodie to straighten it.
I shake my head no. Trying to reassure him that im a terrible thing.
The night before:Flashback.
I lay limp on my bed. I decide that Mikey needs to be checked on im sure he's fine but i want to make sure he's in bed and asleep. It's 3;10 a.m. Eh whatever it's an excuse to get up. I peak at the beautiful 12 almost thirteen year old dirty blonde in that bed. And think to myself I love that little dirty blonde fucker.I sit beside him on his bed as he stirs in his sleep and sighs this cute little moan. I pet his dirty blonde hair and think to myself. My blondey my little dirty blondey Mikey. I kiss his hair that smells like strawberry's set his glasses on the bedside table and watch him snuggle his unicorn as i walk out and shut the door. The door squeaks and i look in the mirror and become furious at my hideous reflection. "I hate you you son of a bitch i slam the door almost and lock it. I throw back my still wet from sweating hair and inhale deeply as i rip out the shoebox from under my bed and slice away at pure bare open in view raw skin with a triangle slick edge razor blade and smile sinisterly as the blood drips over my fingertips. I take the blade and wipe the blood onto the inside of the bottom of the shoebox. I let the cold water run over the five open wound slices now on my left wrist. I yelp a nice "Fuck!" as it burns like acid into my skin. I moan ow as i dry my arm i toss the towel aside. I hop onto my bed and sleep until my alarm awakens me once again...
I gulp and come back into reality.
I look at him.
I whisper "Why must you adore me so dear Frankie?"
"You didn't hate me at first sight or spit on me for no apparent reason."
I shrug. "But. I'm not a good person im terrible."
"Gerard. Look at me."
I do.
He holds my cheeks gently and strokes them with his thumbs.
"Gerard. Your perfect. Listen to me."
I Nod.
"My parents divorced the night before my tenth birthday. I have no hope. The only hope for me now is you. I had no hope before. I'm constantly being thrown back and forth between my drunken mother and retard of a father. Dad tried to make me straight but that didn't work. Of course. My mom anyhow, doesn't give two shits about who i am and where I'll wind up. All i am to her is a paycheck."
He sobs.
Then straightens up and swallows his nose and neck and throat red.
"I have been thrown out of two schools because of my fighting. Gerard. Im like a murderer i find death so beautiful and i love weapons."
I nod when he finishes "I'm listening Frank."
He has tears sparkling on his cheeks. "That's all i ever asked for and until now my praying for it never stopped." He grips my back of my jacket in a long lung busting hug.
i hold him as he slides into my lap a surprised gasp escapes from my throat.
He sighs depressingly "W-what?"
"Nothing Frank chill. It's all okay you know I'm here for you right?"
He nods "I do now "
I grip him as he grips onto me.
I stand up after he crawls in the corner. i sit with him.
"I'm sorry."
"For?"
"I just am sorry that im a jerk and i don't say the right things."
"Gerard,, you do, i should be sorry im a sissy and a pansy."
I smile "Me too."
We giggle.
Frank clears his throat and looks all serious "But seriously...im always here for you too..."
He was about to say another word that starts with a b.
"What was that Frank?"
He says blushing. "I was about to say baby. I don't know why.
I smile "Aw. Your Cute.
I jump at what had just came out of my idiotic lips.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY!?!
He smiles "Look who's talkin."
I sit on the bed rubbing and clenching myself with my leg and moaning so quietly im sure Frank can only here a fraction of it. Not even that.
I get close.
"Well. I grew up here in Jersey. And i was never appreciated by my father." I flinch at the memory of those crucial markings on my back. "he's in prison now. He was caught selling coke on the backstreets in the neighborhood. I hate myself. My reflection is a dumb ass. That's all i see.I'm scared of needles and other sharp objects. I like to draw and your voice and vibe comforts me somehow."I suddenly feel lightheaded dizzy and faint
I didn't realize it before and i don't know how i didn't but im crying.
I take a shaky breath and the darkness starts to surround me.
I black out.
-
I wake up to find myself being kissed on the cheek and a knife at my throat.
He whispers. "Are you ready to die?"
I swallow hard.
He pulls my knife away from my neck no...his knife.
He smiles. "This is my favorite knife."
"It's a fine" I pause "piece of art Frank."
He laughs manically and sets the knife aside.
When i realize. He's on my stomach and is now holding my cheek stroking it his eyes half closed slightly panting and licking his lips his black hair surrounding my face.
I blush.
As he whispers. "i think im in love with you.
I whisper. "I think i am in love with you."
I smile as he does.
He says. "I'm not a man whore whatsoever but i am slutty when im in love i got it all planned out. Iv had plenty of time to think since iv been lonely."
I smile "I know your not a wwhore. But i do know you're ready."
He smiles crossing my arms as he leans closer. Pinning them above my head.
Oh. Shit...
Cliffhanger!! XD
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