Kingdom Farts: Lust at First Sight
Kingdom Hearts is a trademark of Square-Enix and Disney. Treasure of the Rudras (Rudra no Hihou) is a trademark of Square-Enix and Keita Amemiya (You da man Amemiya!). I don't own the characters, nor do I plan to make a profit off either series.
Ariel sobbed to herself as she picked up her belongings and left the Gummi ship.
"WAAAAAAAAH! Eric didn't deserve to become so ugly! sob groan" She cried to herself. How Eric managed to start out as a smoldering hot Ken doll to a scarred up and bloody man was beyond her. He had gotten into a battle with the heartless and let's just say, he looked hideous in Ariel's eyes. Figures, for a superficial bitch.
"I hope I do find my Prince Carming here..." She sighed, still carrying her bags. Glancing around in the peaceful town, she managed to wander around in the vast area.
As Ariel wandered the town called Oriab, she saw a young man in his early twenties with long blue hair, matching blue eyes and wore glasses and blue robes and a red and blue hat with a feather sticking out of it. It was obvious this man was a mage.
"Hey Miemyl, do you mind if Lolo stays with us for a while?" He asked, looking into a woman's violet eyes. He glanced at her beauty. Miemyl wore her green skirt with a silky yellow top and a matching green shawl. She wore a capelet and leather shoes as well on this sunny day. Her pearly white hair was absolutely gorgeous and shimmered like a pearl.
"Of course Lolo can stay with us Surlent. After all, he's like a kid brother to us." She replied. They both held Lolo's hand together and headed back into the house.
Ariel became envious. How dare Surlent be with Miemyl and that little blond haired boy wearing a blue and shorts with a red cape, gem belt and a blue beret with a feather sticking out of it! "Maybe, just maybe, I can convince him to leave Miemyl and Lolo!" Ariel told herself, smiling to herself from ear to ear. All she had to do was wait for nighttime to hit to make her move.
At nighttime, Surlent and everyone else in the house was fast asleep in slumberland. “Now's the chance.”
Ariel peered into the windows until she saw an open window. In the open window, Surlent was sleeping peacefully in his grey long jons. “Perfect.”
So Ariel opened the window wider and crept into Surlent's bedroom. She observed Surlent as he quietly snores in his sleep. She admired his beauty as his eyes were shut and his face glowed in the moonlight.
“Ohhhhh...pant you're very handsome. I want you to run away with me in our fairytale kingdom of happiness and joy.”
“Mm....Mie...myl.....” Surlent whispered in his sleep.
“Humph, he's still thinking of that white haired bimbo.” Ariel pouted.
Ariel's disgust turned to excitement when Surlent started to slowly open his eye. “Oh hi Miemyl. What's bothering you?”
Ariel realized that without his glasses, Surlent had rather poor vision and can only make out blurry shapes in the light. “Hello my handsome prince to be.”
Surlent started to feel worried. He knew that wasn't Miemyl's voice, so he puts on his glasses and was mortified at the stange girl that was stalking and watching him sleep in his long johns. As Surlent tried to shriek, Ariel puts a hand over his mouth and muffles all his sounds. “Shhh....my beloved. Don't be afraid.”
Surlent tried to be nice and not hit Ariel, but he couldn't help it this time. He slapped Ariel away from him, causing her to almost lose her balance. “What do you want with me lady?”
"Oh my beloved. My name is princess Ariel." She answered. "I'm the princess of Atlantica who was sent here to find a new husband after my Eric became hideous."
Surlent looked at Ariel in disgust and repulsion. “What did you do young lady?”
“I left my husband after he became ugly.” Ariel said sadly.
Surlent groaned and did a face palm. “Let me get this straight. You left your husband after he lost his good look and you decide to go to me, just for my good looks. Sheesh! You don't even know me.”
“How old are you princess?”
“I'm sixteen years old. I'm not a child. I'm ready for true love forever.”
“WHAT THE...you are sixteen? I'm 20 years old, you are too young to be with a man of my age. Wait until I call Miemyl and Lolo.”
“MIEMYL! LOLO! THERE IS AN INTRUDER IN MY ROOM!”
Now Ariel heard panicked footsteps approaching Surlent's room. As Ariel tried to escape, Miemyl and Lolo catch her before she fled. “You're not going anywhere young lady.”
“But I love him. You can't have him.” Ariel cried out to Miemyl as the white haired maiden held Ariel in a death grip.
“Sorry, but Surlent loves me, not you.” Miemyl snarled as she held onto Ariel as tightly as she could. “I got to know Surlent and I love him not for his looks, but because we knew each other since childhood and Surlent is nice and polite to me.”
“I like Surlent because he protects me.” Lolo added.
“I'd rather be with Miemyl than some superficial wench like you.” Surlent said bitterly.
“Take her away guys.” Surlent said with a eerie grin on his face. “Teach that cur a lesson she'll never forget.”
So Miemyl and Lolo dragged the mermaid princess to Lolo's room and gave her some nasty looks. “I'll hold her down Lolo, you take care of the rest.”
“Very well. Heh heh heh.” Lolo laughed as he went over to Ariel and puts his butt in her face. “You'll be very sorry for messing with Surlent.”
Lolo's face turned red as he lets out a loud, high pitched groan. Right there, it happened....
Lolo lets out his first fart in Ariel's face.
Even Miemyl started to look a little concerns. “Oh dear, I meant to prepare for this.”
“Ah, I'm feeling so much better.” Lolo sighed in relief.
Even the foul stench kept Surlent awake. “I'm starting to smell chicken nuggets with hot pepper sauce in here.”
Surlent knew that smell anywhere, because Lolo was the only one of Surlent's friends that ate hot pepper sauce with his chicken nuggets. That racid combination is what made Lolo's farts smell so distinct from everyone else's farts.
After almost a half hour, when Lolo stopped being flatulent, He and Miemyl lift themselves off Ariel and Surlent came into Lolo's room and opened his window to let the stench out. Then Surlent picked up Ariel and chucked her out the window with the stench. “NOW DON'T COME BACK! EVER!”
Now Ariel decided to leave Surlent, Miemyl and Lolo alone. She stood outside the house, crying and vomiting from Lolo's farts. Now, Ariel was heart broken, as well as humiliated and carrying a tarnished reputation. After that, she wasn't seen in Oriab again. As for her fate, she tried to unsucessfully seduce Saizou, only to have Mitra save him and kill Ariel. The Rudra Queen then stuffed Ariel's head and mounted it on the wall as a warning for shallow bubble headed bimbos to not mess with her clan.
As for Surlent and his friends, he stayed with them and lived in happiness. But now, they had to make a new rule: Lolo has to take a gas retardant medicine before eating chicken nuggets with hot pepper sauce, so they don't have to deal with that putrid smell from Lolo's bum ever again.
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