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Ryan draws circles on Brendon's forearm as Brendon's pencil scratches against a full page of notes.

Ryan doesn't have any homework that he knows of, all his teachers basically decided to go 'You're all seniors. Two months left of school. Fuck it,'.

Now they didn't exactly say fuck it but he knows with some of his teachers, it was implied. Sadly with Brendon only being a Junior, his work load is twice of what Ryan gets, if not more. He needs to get this done by tomorrow and Ryan's teasing finger tips that explore his right side aren't helping.

"How do you do this?" Brendon points to his Physics homework grudgingly, head falling back onto his bed.

"Well, um, here," Ryan takes the pen out of his hand and writes out the problem with all it's work, and gets the answer easily like it was a second grade science quiz.

"Oh," Brendon sighs and goes back to work while Ryan is writing in his notebook. It's full of simple poems and thoughts that he wants to remember so he can write a poem about them. He's usually better at focusing like this, even when Ryan is around but he has been somewhat off all day.

"You know what's bugging me?" Brendon sighs, leaning onto Ryan with their shoulders rubbing against each other's.

Uh oh.

"Hm?"

"How come the school thinks you're so straight? Oh- okay, yeah I know what you've done- who you've done, but I mean... are you ever going to tell people that I'm your boyfriend?" He rambles.

"I-"

"Are you scared you'll lose your bagillion friends? They aren't even good people! They all are so manipulative and a bunch of back stabbers, if you lie to them it'll just get worse."

"Are they saying things behind my back?" Ryan's eyes are wide, hurt.

"Don't be surprised. That Kevin kid has a mouth. He was talking about how you have ditched them for that past, what, month and a half?" Brendon is sitting up now, still having his folder with a sheet on top of it in his hand. Ryan stays laying on his stomach.

"I rather hang out with you," Ryan whispers.

"Tell them that."

"Why do you care?" Ryan asks.

"Why do you care."

"You're not making any sense. Can we just go back to the peaceful study time?"

"Are you going to tell them?"

Ryan takes out a drawn out breath. "It's not like you'll ever see them after the last day of school."

"I know, but Brendon. Those people I did things with? They aren't good people. And they are friends with other not-so-good people. Who'll probably kick my ass."

"Nobody is going to kick your ass."

"Half of the school already wants to!" Ryan raises his voice, "Why does it matter all of the sudden?"

"I just... I feel like I'm a loser to your friends, and I'm not necessarily getting good attention from them."

"They're being mean to you?"

"Just- let's-"

"They're being mean to you?" Ryan repeats, voice sharp and etching through Brendon's ear like nails on a chalk board. He doesn't want to answer.

"Sometimes." Brendon draws circles on his paper.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"They're your friends."

Ryan is silent.

"Are you going to tell them about us? I was thinking that maybe it'd stop." Brendon mutters, head ducked down at his paper.

"They know I'm friends with you," Ryan says confusedly.

Brendon doesn't answer.

"I'll tell them to fuck off."

"Are you going to tell them that we are together?"

Ryan sighs. "You know how we haven't had sex yet? Don't think that's going to happen until you tell them." Brendon frowns.

"Fuck, Brendon. Not fair." Ryan wines.

"Totally fair."

"Is that the only reason?"

Brendon lies onto a pillow. "Pretty much."

"God," Ryan scoffs and smiles down at his paper then lifts his upper body off and counters to lie next to Brendon.

"And I kind of want to let you fuck me, so. Time's 'a tickin'." Brendon's voice messes with Ryan. Except the last bit, that part kind of killed it.

Ryan grabs Brendon by his t-shirt, pulling him in for a rough kiss. It's brutal, their teeth coming close to hit each other and Ryan giggles with Brendon catching his bottom lip and biting and sucking. Brendon grabs Ryan's waist and pulls him on top of him, not breaking the kiss with tongues crashing together, the younger boy taking control of the situation. Ryan's shirt runs up his body exposing his hips and Brendon wraps his arms around them, feeling the pure narrowness of his boyfriend on top of him. He traces his finger tips with his spine and Ryan breaks the kiss, heading for his neck, slowing speed and pressing slow, delicate kisses there. Moans escape from both of them because Ryan is straddling him and rubbing against him just enough to make them be vocal. Brendon pulls at Ryans shirt to expose his upperhalf, and Ryan lifts his arms up so Brendon can take it and throw it on the floor. "Please," Ryan practically begs, thrusting his covereed erection hard on top of Brendon's. "What are we doing then?"

"What are you doing. Nobody said we can't be naked and kissing."

"Let me blow you." Ryan says sternly, eyes burning into Brendon who is in the process of taking off his shirt.

"That's acceptable." Ryan kisses Brendon again, a hand tangling through his hair and carressing it as he undoes Brendon's belt. He moves down again, kissing down his chest which still has pale scars, making sure his lips go over each one. A moan escapes Brendon, loud and drawn out because Ryan is moving slowly and his lips are so soft over his skin. He zips his zipper down slowly too, pulling down at them with both of his hands. Course Brendon isn't wearing underwear. He never is.

Ryan's hand grabs his shaft while he kisses and bites down on his hipbones while Brendon squirms to the touch. He doesn't move his hand for a moment, then he lowers it to brush his thumb over the tip. Brendon groans and pushes his hips into Ryan's hand, "Wait," Ryan jumps off of him and crawls off the bed.

"W-what? Hey!"

"Gotta lock the door,"

"Nobody's home." Brendon wines, kicking off his jeans all the way so he is fully exposed on his bed.

"With how loud you're being we wouldn't ever be able to tell." With that, Ryan climbs back onto Brendon and gives one last kiss to his hip bone.

"Y-you- Ry- fuck." Brendon gives a sharp intake of air as Ryan twirls his tounge around the tip then sucks, Brendon trying to keep himself together but he simply can't. Ryan takes him in more once he feels confident that Brendon won't buck his hips, him pressing his tounge against him more. Brendon ties his fingers in Ryan's messy hair, biting on his lip and squeezing his eyes shut.

The feeling of Ryan moving his head up and down his cock is basically making him collapse mentally, "Fuck," Brendon swears over and over again as Ryan keeps going, taking him in more and more until he hits the back of his throat. The noise Brendon makes is somewhat unhuman, "I'm gonna- Ry-" Ryan pulls off as Brendon hits his orgasm and recovering as Ryan cleans him up.

It's not necessarily tasty, but considering how much he hated when girls wouldn't do this for him decides to spoil him.

"Jesusfuckingchrist," Brendon rushes, breath slowly evening out.

"Was that okay?" Ryan faces Brendon, hovering over his lips.

"Shut up," Brendon orders, kissing Ryan's swollen lips.

Ryan is still breathless so he pulls away within time. "I never did that before."

"Good," Brendon laughs, playing with the hairs behind Brendon's neck.

--

Ryan drops his keys on the counter and looks at the empty house before him. When Brendon's parents came home he left, and now he is alone with his thoughts.

Everything is happening. Them. Lyrics and a band on the verge of forming. Fake ass friends who are going to "get the boot". Not to mention graduating high school and going to college.

And both of his parents are gone and he is left fending for himself. Except Lola. He notices she came by this afternoon.

He gives in and decides to call Spencer.

"Hey," Spencer says with shuffling in the background.

"Can you come over? I'm bored." Ryan begs, walking aimlessly around his house.

"Can't, babysitting."

"Ugh, Spence. They're ten. Do they need a babysitter?"

"Yeah, you can come over if you like."

"Okay," Ryan sighs into the phone. "Be there in ten."

--

Ryan walks right into the house uninvited, simply because he can, and because Spencer is running around after the girls.

"Ryro!" Jackie enthuses, jumping around the house, Crystal is right behind her, chasing her with one of Spencer's drum sticks.

"Heya, kiddos."

"Girls! Go to bed or I'll tell mom about the big math quiz you girls have on Monday!"

"No, Spency!" Crystal frowns, looking terrified.

"Bed." He points up the stairs.

The girls giggle and exchange goodnight kisses to Spencer's cheek and they hug Ryan, climbing up the stairs.

"So what's up? Spencer asks.

"I... I don't like being home alone." Ryan frowns sheepishly, following behind Spencer to sit on the couch.

"You always were home alone for like, ten years."

"But," Ryan sighs, "nobody is gonna come home this time."

"Oh, Ry." Spencer spins around to face him, leaning against the counter while Ryan's on the other side, seated on a stool. "Wanna change the subject? How's Brendon?"

"He's fine. Stressing about school and shit. I had to go home after his parents came home... that sucked."

"Parents are the worst cock block, right?"

Ryan smiles, "Yeah, especially when they still think him and I are just friends."

"They don't know?"

"Neither does the whole school except for you, so."

There's silence. Spencer likes to think about situations and consider everything, even if there isn't much to consider in the first place.

"Are you going to tell the whole school?"

"Yeah, I have to. Or else I won't be getting as much action as we were both hoping for." Ryan leans on the counter tiredly.

Spencer laughs at that. "So how are you going to?"

More silence. Both of them are thinking, Spencer more rationally than Ryan. "I have an idea!" Ryan grins, biting the tip of his thumb then looking at Spencer with bright eyes.

"Oh, god."

"Can I just make out with him during lunch? I won't even say anything. It's not even people's business on who I love."

"You love him?" Spencer says quickly.

"Yes, I do."

"That's... soon." His eyebrows are raised attentively.

"He means a lot to me,"

"I never thought you would ever say 'I love you' to anyone, I'm impressed."

Ryan doesn't answer but twirls around instead. He knows Spencer's words will backfire tonight in some way, when he is curled up alone in his bed thinking about his life.

"Ryan, listen." Spencer starts, "Do you think... the reason you might think you love Brendon is because you just need somebody there? Like, if it wasn't him but some other guy who would gladly listen to your problems and be exactly who you wanted him to be-"

"I LOVE him, Spencer. Shut up." Spencer continues to stare at Ryan.

"I'm just saying,"

"Don't." Ryan scowls.

"Don't be in love with the idea of love. Be in love with Brendon. That's all I'm saying."

"I do love Brendon," Ryan bites.

"Mmk."

Ryan leaves after that and goes back to the house, it seeming so clean and abandoned.

"Have some composure, where is your posture," Ryan sings, the house echoing his weak voice. He stops when he reaches his bedroom, stripping off his jeans and curling up in the bed.

The words Spencer said really hurt, though. And he can't help but think of all the moments Brendon and him have shared, like the time where he had to shove fingers into his mouth to get his jaw back in place, or the time where they first played guitars with each other and their first kiss which freaked Ryan out. A lot of things about their relationship scared Ryan at first. They got so close so fast and Ryan shut everyone in his life out, for the most part. He doesn't know. The bed is so empty and cold under the sheets, no space is occupied next to him like it has been every other day this week.

It's the worst today though. He's curious to know whether he does truely love Brendon. But what about when they first met? How Brendon was so careful with Ryan, soothing him and being so protective, almost as if he was his personal property. The way Brendon held Ryan while on that bench, simply because that's exactly what he needed.

That's... pretty intense for one day of knowing each other.

Ryan doesn't plan on sleeping at all tonight.

He ends up drifting off anyway.

--

Ryan wakes up to someone running their finger tips across his arm. He flinches awake, seeing a lazy smile across the younger boys lips peek through. "Scared me," Ryan whispers, still lying lazily on his bed with his eyes half open reaching to trace Brendon's cheek.

"Morning," Brendon mutters back. It's six thirty AM, and school starts in an hour in a half. Half of the school probably isn't even up yet. Brendon leans his head into Ryan's touch, moving to lie down next to Ryan and placing his lips on his neck and moving upwards. It's not like real kisses, his lips just simply gliding over the pale and healing skin. He finds his lips, kissing him so carefully that Ryan believes this is still all a dream. Ryan's hand has travelled to the back of Brendon's neck, just resting there hoping to keep him in place.

Ryan makes some sleepy, satisfied noises. When Brendon pulls away, just lying next him, with a hand over his chest. "I missed you," Ryan admits, breathing slowly onto Brendon's temple.

Brendon just climbs under the covers, edging closer to Ryan.

Ryan looks at him, studying each little feature. His long eyelashes and big eyes, the curve his nose and the tiny scar above his eyebrow.

"I love you," Ryan murmurs, Brendon staring at him back. "I... yeah, I love you."

Brendon is still, looking at Ryan genuinely. "I love you too,"

Brendon kisses him, slowly for a few moments and sighing into the kiss. It's still unrushed, and they both have to get ready to go to school soon so they're just enjoying this. Ryan knows that Brendon is the only one he ever wants to do this with, and that Spencer is totally wrong. Well, he's never experience love like this before but he's pretty sure he's spot on.

He hopes, at least.

--


A/N Just a filler chapter. Ah, probably only 3/4 chapters left. Exciting!