Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Past Ain't Through With You

Fear of the Past

by carmen 2 reviews

Lindsey and Alicia are both concerned over Holly's refusal to deal with the past.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2012-09-29 - Updated: 2012-09-29 - 5697 words

“Good morning.” Holly said pulling the door open. “Come on in.”

Lindsey smiled as she gently nudged Bandit inside. “Hope you don’t mind us stopping by so early. I really should have called first.”

Holly closed the door then turned to her unexpected guests. “Don’t be silly. I’m glad you came by.” She looked down at Bandit. “Molly is still sleeping. Why don’t you go on in and wake her up. She’ll be happy to see you.”

Bandit immediately ran across the loft to Molly’s room.

“Coffee?” Holly asked turning to Lindsey.

“Yes, please.” She answered shrugging off her light jacket. “That sounds heavenly.”

“Just made it.” Holly said nodding for Lindsey to follow her to the table. “Sit and I’ll grab us some.”

When she returned to the table Lindsey was nervously clicking her fingernails against the wooden tabletop.

Holly sat down across from her after placing a cup of coffee in front of her guest. “So, tell me about the wedding.”

Lindsey smiled, “We found one of those 24 hour chapels. Jake insisted on buying the deluxe wedding package. We had flowers, photos and even a cake.” Suddenly her smile faded.

“It sounds nice.” She said slowly not sure what to say because Lindsey suddenly looked sad.

“It was nice, actually it was wonderful.” Lindsey said softly.

“So what’s wrong?”

Lindsey took a sip of coffee then answered, “Well, my mom is mad because we didn’t tell her we were flying to Vegas."

“Oh.” Holly nodded. “I see.”

“Yeah, I mean I suppose we should have told the family. Hell, I sorta wish I’d told Gee before instead of just springing it on him.”

Holy took a sip of coffee waiting for Lindsey to continue.

Lindsey looked directly into Holly’s eyes. “He’s not upset, is he?”

“No.” Holly assured her. “He told me he believes Jake makes you happy and that’s what’s important.”

“Jake does make me happy.” Lindsey said softly. “Very happy. When I’m with him, well it just feels so right.”

“And that’s what’s important.” Holly said.

Lindsey sighed, “Yeah, I agree. We told Bandit last night when we got back to the house. I don’t think she really completely understands but she really likes Jake and he’s so great with her.”

“That’s good.”

“So Gee’s really okay with this?”

Holly was slightly surprised that Lindsey seemed so concerned what her ex-husband thought. “He admitted he was sorta sad and a bit worried about Bandit having another father.”

“Jake will never replace Gerard. Bandit loves him so much.” Lindsey said her voice full of emotion. She lowered her head then added, “I was glad you were there when we told Gee.”

That statement sent off warning bells in Holly’s brain. “Why?”

Lindsey kept her eyes downcast. “Because seeing you, Gerard and the girls together was nice. I guess it made me feel better telling him my news knowing he was with someone who makes him so happy.”

“He loves being with his girls.” Holly said softly.

Lindsey looked up. “Holly, that’s true but he also loves being with you.”

This was what Holly had been afraid of. She didn’t want people to start believing there was something romantic going on between them. “He’s the father of my child.” Holly said slowly. “So it’s important to me we maintain a good relationship. But there is nothing more than friendship between us.”

Unbeknownst to Holly, Lindsey had discussed this with Alicia. Both women were of the opinion that Gerard was very much in love with Holly and they believed Holly was in love with him. However, both women understood that Holly was denying that fact and they weren’t entirely sure why.

Lindsey took a sip of brew trying to get up the nerve to say what she really wanted to say. Holly sighed.

“Okay, just say it.”

“Say it?”

“Yep, say whatever it is you’re trying to figure out how to say. It’s pretty obvious to me you want to tell me something but you’re probably thinking it will upset me.”

Lindsey nodded, “Yeah that’s true. There is something I want to say but I don’t want to upset you because I like you so much Holly and I don’t want you being pissed at me.”

Holly smiled, “Lindsey I really like you too so I’m not gonna get pissed.”

Lindsey sat back in her chair. “Okay, well…I just think you are Gerard are meant to be together.”

Holly sighed. “Because we have a child?”

“No.” Lindsey shook her head. “That’s not why. Not at all.”

Now it was Holly who was nervously tapping her fingers on the tabletop. “Look I get that you want Gee to be happy. You’ve moved on and found happiness and you want the same for him. But I didn’t come here thinking Gerard and I would get together. That thought never even crossed my mind.”

Lindsey suddenly cut her off. “Why?”

“Why?” Holly’s eyes narrowed, “Why what?”

“Why didn’t it cross your mind that you and Gee might get together?”

Holly felt her temper rising. “Why would it? I was gone a long time. Guess I just figured he would have moved on.”

It was starting to become clearer to Lindsey. “Just like he did before.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” Holly said shaking her head. “It’s stupid to keep rehashing the past.”

Lindsey didn’t back down because she truly believed this was important. “Look, I know this is sorta an awkward discussion.”

“You could say that.”

“But I don’t want it to be. My marriage to Gee was over before you can back into his life.”

“I was never really in his life.” Holly said trying to keep her emotions in check. “We were together briefly, very briefly. Molly is what keeps us in contact now. If it weren’t for her I would never have come back here. I know that sounds bad because I realize I really do have some great friends but..”

“You do have friends who love you.” Lindsey said softly.

“I know and I’m very lucky because that’s true. But things are different now. I’m creating a new life for myself. I need to move forward.”

Lindsey took a sip of her coffee then leaned back in her chair. “Look I know there is a lot about what happened between you and Gee that I don’t understand.”

“There really isn’t much to understand.” Holly said cutting her off. “We got together, it was over and he moved on.”

Lindsey was surprised by the anger in Holly’s voice. “But the way it ended.”

“He moved on.” Holly said firmly. “End of story.”

“Not really.” Lindsey said sadly. “Even after what happened between you two you still came to LA hoping to help him.”

“That was a stupid move on my part. I had no business coming out here hoping to try to help a married man.”

“A man who’s marriage was over.”

Holly sighed, “I honestly hoped that wasn’t the case. You do believe that don’t you?”

Lindsey was surprised by the question. “Of course I know that. I’ve never once believed anything else.”

“Good.” Holly nodded, “Because it’s the truth. I really hoped you two could work through your problems.”

“That had to be hard.” Lindsey said looking Holly directly in the eye.

Holly visibly tensed. “Why would that have been hard?”

Lindsey didn’t blink. “Because you still loved him.”

Minutes passed in silence.

“I suppose there is no point in denying that now.” Holly finally said getting up to refill their coffee cups.

Lindsey waited until she’d sat back down to speak. “And he still loved you.”

Immediately Holly started shaking her head. “No, that’s not true.”

“Holly if I can accept that fact I don’t know why you can’t. Gerard never stopped loving you. Even when he fell in love with me there was a piece of his heart that belonged only to you.”

This whole conversation was unnerving to Holly. “I don’t believe that but it doesn’t matter. That’s the past and it’s over. Time to move on. I think it’s important for Molly’s sake that Gee and I maintain a good relationship so that’s what I’ll try to do.”

The truth suddenly struck Lindsey. “You’re afraid.”


“Afraid of being hurt again.” Lindsey said softly. For a moment she was sure Holly would lash out at her but it didn’t happen. Instead Holly gave her an honest answer.

“I suppose that’s true. No man ever hurt me deeper than Gerard. I never loved any man like I loved him. But that’s my fault. I knew he and I should never be more than friends, I knew we were wrong for each other.”

“Maybe once upon a time but things are different now.”

“That’s true things are different now. Hopefully my art work will give me the financial security I’ve never had before. I won’t have to worry about being able to provide for Molly. This is a new beginning for me.” She laughed but the sound was hollow. “Almost dying gives you quite an application for life. I realize I have a second chance to make a better life. I’m not going to let anything spoil that chance.”

Sadly Lindsey realized what she was saying. She was determined not to have her heart broken again. But Lindsey also realized a lot of things she hadn’t before and those things she needed to discuss with Gerard because wither Holly believed it or not Lindsey knew running away from love because of fear would be the ultimate mistake.


After Molly was awake and dressed Lindsey asked if she could go to her art studio for the day. She was beginning work on a new project and wanted Bandit to have someone to play with to ward of boredom. Holly had been slightly surprised when she learned that Jake and Lindsey weren’t planning any kind of honeymoon for now but Lindsey had assured her they would get away together after the New Year.

Holly had allowed Molly to go deciding she would use the time to begin the process of sorting through the latest stained glass windows she’d collected. She’d just sat down at her work table when Alicia called.

“What’s up girlfriend?”

Holly smiled always happy to hear from her friend. “Not much. Just working. What’s up with you?”

“I was sick this morning.”

Holly giggled, “You sound quite pleased about that.”

“Well yes and no.” Alicia laughed, “I mean I don’t like feeling like I’m gonna puke but I love the reason for feeling like that. So anyway I understand my bro-in-law finally got off his behind and asked you to his house for Christmas dinner.”

“Yeah.” Holly honestly didn’t want to discuss Gerard. The conversation she’d had with Lindsey this morning was still troubling her.

“He was in such a good mood this morning when he came by to pick up Mikey.” Alicia laughed. “He told us all about your Charlie Brown tree.”

Holly was surprised by this. “Uh, did he say anything else?”

“Oh you mean about Lindsey getting married? Yeah he mentioned that. Shit, that surprised me but Gee said he wasn’t all that shocked. I’ve met Jake though and I really like him. It’s obvious how happy he makes Lindsey.”

“Yeah, he does.” She paused a minute. “Matter of fact Lindsey was just here. She and Bandit took Molly with them to her studio.”

“Really? So that means you’re free for a few hours. Wanna do something?”

“I really should get some work done.” Holly said eyeing all the stained glass.

“I heard you don’t have to start working on the restaurant project until after the New Year.” Alicia said.

“That’s true but I still have a lot to get ready.”

“How about if I come over and help?” Alicia offered.

“That would be fine. Actually that would be great. We can visit and I can still be productive.”

“Be there soon.” Alicia said before disconnecting.


An hour later Alicia sat perched on a stool watching as Holly carefully cut pieces of stained glass.

“I still don’t get how you can turn these into such beautiful wind chimes.”

Holly spoke while keeping her attention of the glass. “Most of these won’t be wind chimes. They are going into the mosaic for the restaurant.”

“Cool.” Alicia got off the stool then stretched. “Oh crap I almost forgot.”

Holly looked up to see her heading toward her large bag on the sofa. “Look what was in this morning’s paper.” She walked back over to hand Holly a folded newspaper.

“Oh” Holly said in surprise as she unfolded the paper to see a large article about the charity auction. Quickly she scanned the article pleased to see so much information about the shelters was included.

“Pretty cool, isn’t it?” Alicia said sitting back down.

Holly nodded. “Hopefully this will bring some much needed awareness to the plight the shelters are facing. Each day more people go needing help but the funding hasn’t increased.”

“Well your benefit auction certainly helped.” She leaned over to glance at the paper still in Holly’s hands. “Gotta tell you Mikey and Gee were really happy and very proud of you when they saw that article this morning.”

Holly smiled.

“Gee only growled at the photo.”

Holly hadn’t realized until now there was a photo but as she unfolded the rest of the paper she saw it at the bottom. The picture had been taken as she stood talking to Richard and judging by the smiles on their faces it had been taken while Richard had been entertaining Holly with an amusing story.

Alicia was waiting for Holly to respond to her last statement when didn’t Alicia tried again. “It’s a very good picture of you but I can definitely see why Gerard didn’t like it.”

Holly gave a sigh as she folded the paper. “Please don’t start.”

Alicia blinked in surprise. “Don’t start.”

“Look.” Holly handed her back the paper. “I know what you think. Hell after this morning I know what Lindsey thinks but you’re both wrong. There is nothing going on between me and Gerard.”

“That’s your fault.”

Holly stared at her trying to control her anger. “No, not my fault that’s just the way it is. Gerard and I are both different people now.”

“You’re not so different but you’re right Gee is different he’s got his life back on track.”

This time it was hard for Holly not to be angry at the words Alicia spoke. “I’m not so different? What you think I’m still the pathetic woman I’ve always been?”

Alicia was shocked, “Pathetic? Who the hell ever said you were pathetic?”

“Oh come on lets not dance around this. That words pretty much sums up my whole life. Poor old Holly always messing up something. Well not anymore. This time I’m going to get things right.” Her anger faded when she saw the tears in Alicia’s eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry.’ Holly whispered.

Alicia shook her head, “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I never realized that’s how you felt before now.”

Suddenly it was important to Holly that Alicia understood. “I want you to understand. Just think about my life up until now. I was married to a man who never loved me, I tried my best to make a new life for me and Sonja only to mess that up by falling for a guy who claimed to love me but left and married someone a few months later. I drove my daughter away because she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t tell him I was pregnant.” Holly paused trying to control her emotions, “Then she died and I was left trying to go on because I knew I had to for Molly. But then what did I do? As soon as I heard Gerard was having problems I ran out here thinking I could help him. What a joke. I should have been trying to help myself. Don’t you think I knew I had an eating disorder? I knew I just chose to ignore that because ignoring the truth was something I’d become so good at doing.” She paused again to swipe angrily at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “And then I almost died but not before telling Gerard about Molly. Fuck, I thought it was a deathbed confession.”

Alicia was shocked by Holly’s outburst. “You’re sorry you told him?”

Holly sat back trying to ignore the pain in her back and the ache in her heart. “No, because I believe by telling him the truth I truly was given a chance to start over. No more secrets, no more lies. Now I have a chance to start over and get it right this time. If my art is successful I hope to make a financially secure life for me and Molly. That’s what’s most important to me.”

Alicia’s eyes dropped and her shoulders slumped.

Immediately Holly was concerned she’d hurt her friend. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry." Alicia said softly. “Sorry I didn’t realize how much hurt and anger you still carry around but not realizing that was stupid of me. You’ve always been good at hiding your emotions, hiding the truth. When you first came back and told us you’d been working with a therapist I just wanted to believe you’d gotten over the past.”

“I have.” Holly answered automatically.

“No." Alicia said softly, “You haven’t. What you just said proves that. What I just heard was a woman who hates what she was but that’s so fucking wrong. You have always been one of the kindest people I know. You put others before yourself and for you to think that was pathetic is so wrong.” When she looked up her eyes glistened with tears. “I’ve always wanted to be more like you. So yeah, I hate what you think about yourself. I just can’t understand why you can’t see the truth. You want to believe that now you’ve changed but I want to believe that’s not true. Yeah, there were things about yourself you needed to change like the eating disorder but not the person who I love. The woman who’s heart has always been filled with compassion for others. That’s the true Holly.”

Holly sat stunned by Alicia’s words.

Alicia smiled sadly, “You really don’t get that, do you? You really don’t understand what a good, kind person you are. Yeah, I’ve always wanted to be more like you so I guess that makes me fucked up in your world.”

“Alicia.” Holly whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either.” Alicia said sadly.


For the next few hours Alicia and Holly worked side by side. Holly had given Alicia the job of sorting the stained glass by colors into large plastic tubs. It gave them a chance to talk yet ignore the painful conversation they’d had earlier.

When they broke for lunch Holly had just finished making their sandwiches when Richard called.

“Hello, Holly. Have you seen the article in this morning’s paper?”

“I did.” Holly answered as she cradled the phone to her ear freeing up her hands to place Alicia’s plate in front of her.

“You are quite the toast of the town.” Richard said with laughter in his voice.

“Oh I wouldn’t say that.” Holly laughed.

“I would.” His tone turned serious. “I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.”

“No, not at all. Alicia is here helping me sort through some stained glass but we just stopped for lunch.”

Alicia looked over at Holly wondering who had called. By this time Holly was back at the kitchen counter.

“Well I don’t want to interrupt your lunch.” Richard said smoothly “But I did call for a reason. Tonight one of my friends is hosting a Christmas party and I do realize it’s short notice but I was hoping you’d accompany me. There will be a lot of people there I’d love to introduce you to.”

“Oh." Holly was momentarily surprised.

Richard sensed her reluctance so he continued on quickly. “These are people who want to meet the artist I’ve commissioned to do work for my new restaurant. They’ve expressed quite a bit of interest in your work.”

Hearing that made the idea much more appealing to Holly. “Well, I’ll have to try to find a sitter.”

At the table Alicia raised her hand, “Right here.”

Holly laughed, “Okay a sitter just volunteered.” She and Richard spoke a few more minutes making plans for tonight before she disconnected then carried her plate over to the table.

“Are you really sure it’s no problem watching Molly?”

“So I’m guessing that was Richard?”

Holly nodded, “He invited me to a Christmas party.”

“That’s nice.” Alicia said looking down.

“Look, if you don’t want to watch Molly I understand.”

“I always want to watch Molly.” Alicia forced herself to smile. She wasn’t going to let anything drive a wedge between them. But I do have a favor to ask.”


“Well tomorrow I’d like to do some Christmas shopping and I want you to go with me. I could just keep Molly overnight and we’ll leave from my place in the morning. Mikey will be at the studio so we’ll take M with us.”

“Okay.’ Holly agreed. “I really need to do some Christmas shopping too. I haven’t bought one gift yet but now that I have my advance I can.”

The thought of Holly buying gifts instead of making them filled Alicia with sadness which she tried to ignore. “So where’s the party?”

Holly knew Alicia was unhappy she’d be going tonight so she explained. “It’s at one of his friend’s homes. He said a lot of people interested in my art will be there.”

Alicia didn’t believe for one minute that was the reason Richard had asked Holly but she kept that thought quiet. “Sounds fun.”

Holly nodded then took a bite of her sandwich while her mind was filled with thoughts of meeting people she hoped would be new clients.


Alicia greeted Lindsey with a hug and congratulations as soon as they returned to the loft.

Lindsey smiled happily. “Thanks.” She noticed Holly glanced at her watch. “I didn’t keep Molly too long, did I?”

“Oh no.” Holly smiled.

“Hey M go grab some stuff you’re staying at my house tonight.” Alicia said as she picked up Bandit to give her some hugs.

“I am?” Molly asked looking over at her mom.

“Yep.” Holly told her to pack something to wear tomorrow because they were going shopping.

“Well we better be going.” Lindsey said slowly realizing Alicia and Molly would be leaving soon too.

“Hey why not hold up a minute. As soon as M is ready we’ll walk out with you.” She hoped Lindsey would take the hint because she really needed to talk to her.

“Sure.” Lindsey smiled getting that hint.

It wasn’t until they’d walked out to their cars that Alicia whispered to Lindsey. “You have a few minutes?”

“Problems with Holly?” Lindsey guessed.

Alicia glanced at the little girls who were waiting by the cars. “Yep.”

“Lets take them to McDonald's where they can play.” Lindsey suggested knowing they couldn’t talk in front of the girls.

“Good idea.” Alicia nodded.


Hours later when Gerard and Mikey walked in Molly looked up. “Daddy.” She ran into his waiting arms.

“Hey Squirt.” Gerard said covering her face with kisses. “I didn’t know you were here.” His eyes quickly scanned the room. “Where’s you mom?”

“She went to a Christmas party.” Molly explained as Gerard set her back down on her feet.

By this time Mikey had pulled Alicia into his arms for a kiss. He was worried by what he saw in her eyes.

Alicia realized Gerard was staring at her. “Uh Mikey why don’t you and M watch some TV? Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

Gerard followed his sister-in-law into the kitchen. “Holly went to a Christmas party?”

Tiredly Alicia leaned against the kitchen counter. She knew what she was about to say would upset him. “Yeah, Richard called and invited her today while I was over at Holly’s loft.”

“Oh.” Gerard sat down heavily.

“Look Gee we need to talk.” Alicia said pushing off the counter to move over to the table. She pulled out a chair next to him. “I’m really upset about what happened today.”

Immediately Gerard was concerned. “What do you mean? Is something wrong with Holly?”

Quickly Alicia filled him in on the conversation. Gerard listened, his heart growing heavy. However when she mentioned that she and Lindsey had discussed this he was shocked.

“You saw Lindsey today?”

“She visited Holly this morning and took M with her and Bandit to her studio today.”

“Hey, I get that you guys are trying to help but I don’t want Holly to think you are ganging up on her. I don’t want her to be upset.”

Alicia wanted to make sure he understood. “Both Lindsey and I are concerned about Holly. Gee, she’s repressing so much anger and it ain’t good. But what really worries me is she’s turned a lot of anger on herself.”

“When she really should turn it on me.” Gerard whispered.

Alicia touched his arm sympathetically. “We both know she has a right to be angry about part of what happened between you too.”

“She has a right to be fuckin’ pissed about what I did. Leaving her like I did, not telling her I’d hooked up with Lindsey..”

Alicia held up her hand to stop him. “Yeah, okay that’s right. Funny thing is I kinda think she realizes that. She knows she should be angry but it’s like she won’t let herself.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s like she can’t make herself be angry at you. So in her mind she’s just made herself believe that she was this pathetic woman so she doesn’t blame you.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“That’s Holly hiding from what she doesn’t want to deal with.”

Gerard ran his hand nervously through his hair. “So what the hell do I do?”

“I’ve been giving this a lot of thought.” Alicia said slowly. “Somehow Holly needs to finally let go of the anger or I don’t think she can ever really get past this. That anger is making her afraid and that only makes it worse.”

It had been a long day at the studio and he was bone tried. Still he tried to wrap his brain around what she was saying. “Afraid? Afraid of what? Hurting my feelings?”

“Partly.” Alicia nodded, “Yeah that’s part of it but even more it’s making her afraid to admit her true feelings about you.”

Gerard looked down. “Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe she really doesn’t feel anything for me anymore.”

Alicia refused to believe that. “Holly told me today she’d never loved any man like she loved you.”

“And I broke her heart.” He whispered.

“Gee, in my heart I believe she still loves you. But until she can let go of the anger, until she owns that anger she can’t move forward. She needs to realize there is nothing wrong with admitting to it. Only then once it’s out in the open can you two try to move on hopefully together.”

Gerard sighed, “So you think I need to make Holly tell me off.”

“You need to make her finally let it all out. She needs to realize that even though you didn’t know the truth back then about what she was going through with Sonja what you did was wrong.”

“But I’ve tried to tell her that.”

“I didn’t say this would be easy.” Alicia said softly. “You have to remember Holly is great with repressing things. It’s how she’s survived up until now.”

Gerard shook his head, “Yesterday I thought everything was going so well. She actually opened up to me about some shit. Now I feel like we’re back to square one.”

“Gee if she didn’t still feel close to you that wouldn’t have happened. I’ll admit I told you not to push her but after this morning, when I heard that anger in her voice, I know I was wrong. Holly duped me again into thinking she was fine. She’s not fine. She’s confused, angry and hurt. She has to deal with those emotions.” The look on his face made her add. “I’m not saying Holly isn’t a lot better than she was before because she is. She’s dealt with a lot of issues and has made progress. Deep down I think she knows that the one thing she’d never truly dealt with is you breaking her heart. She gets that it happened and why. But she wants to push it into the back of her mind. She’s telling herself that it’s important to keep a good relationship with you because of Molly. I think she’s afraid that if she really deals with it her anger will push you away.”

“And she don’t want that to happen because of Molly.”

Alicia smiled slightly. “Gee, that’s part of it. But the other part, the part that’s keeping her quiet is because she doesn’t want to push you away because she doesn’t want to chance losing you.”

“I wish I could believe that.” He whispered.

“Believe it.” Alicia said giving his arm an encouraging squeeze. “Holly is afraid of being hurt. She knows you could break her heart again.”

He lit a cigarette trying to digest everything Alicia had said. “Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe it would be best to leave her alone. She and I are getting along a lot better and I really don’t want to fuck that up. Maybe in time..”

Alicia started shaking her head, “No.”

“Hear me out.” He said raising his hand. ‘You gotta understand for months I’ve waited for her to come back. Now she’s here and we’re starting to get along. So yeah, maybe I’m afraid to push this. What if I end up pushing her away and we have no relationship at all? I don’t want that for Molly.”

While Alicia understood where he was coming from she still believed he needed to consider this from every angle. “Gee, do you love her? Do you want her in your life?”

“Yeah more than anything.” He whispered.

“Then consider this, Holly has made herself believe she’s got this second chance for a happy life and she does. But I just know she loves you as much as you love her. If she doesn’t give the two of you another chance she will regret it. If she lets fear of being hurt stop her from being with someone she loves, that will haunt her.” Alicia paused knowing what she was about to add would undoubtedly upset him but it was something he needed to consider. “Right now Holly’s convened herself that the past is over and she’s starting towards this new future. I’m afraid if someone came along..well, she’s venerable right now.”

Gerard’s head snapped up. “You’re thinking about Richard, right? You think Holly will fall for him.”

“I don’t want to think that.”

He took a deep drag of his cigarette lost in thought for several moments. “But what if Richard made her happy? She could be with someone who’d never hurt her. Someone she only had a future with not a fucked up past.”

“I’d see your point if I didn’t know that Holly still loved you.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Gerard said snuffing out his cigarette. “Maybe the love for me she once had is gone.”

“Gee..” Her mouth snapped shut when he stood.

“I really have to get home.”

“You’re not staying for dinner? I just thought that since Molly’s here…”

He needed to be alone to think. “I gotta go.” He headed out to the living room. “Hey Squirt. Give me a goodbye kiss.”

“You’re leaving?” Mikey was concerned about the look on his brother’s face.

“Yeah I got some stuff I need to handle tonight.” Gerard lied.

Molly held up her arms urging her father to lift her.

“I want you to stay.” Molly said hugging his neck.

Gerard closed his eyes a moment holding her close. “I’m sorry, Honey. But hey, I’ll see you on Thursday.”


God, he hoped they’d still be going on Thursdays. “Yep. But I can’t tell you where we’re going because it’s a secret.”

“I love you, daddy.” Molly said kissing his cheek.

“Love you too, Squirt.” He whispered. “So much.”
Sign up to rate and review this story