Categories > TV > NCIS

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

by Brambleshadow 0 reviews

One day Ziva takes her teasing a bit too far, and Palmer, Abby, and McGee witness it from the wings. [Tiva. Songfic. crack!fic]

Category: NCIS - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Published: 2012-10-13 - Updated: 2012-10-13 - 1363 words - Complete

Song: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"
Artist: Pat Benatar
A/N: ONE-SHOT! Please read and review before favoriting. You know the rest.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, this song, all rights reserved, yadda yadda yadda.

Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
That's O.K., let's see how you do it
Put up your dukes, let's get down to it

Ziva David glared at her partner accusingly, goading him on with narrowed chocolate-brown eyes, feeling her fingers curl into fists. Tony DiNozzo had a long history of breaking little hearts like the one in her. The Israeli-American didn't care, even if she was falling for him.

"Come on, Tony," she egged him on, "let's see how you do it."

He bared his teeth in his infamous grin. "You're sure about that?"

Ziva could feel stares from the Autopsy Gremlin, Abby, and Timothy McGeek burning into her, but didn't acknowledge them. "Let's get down to it."

Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away

The senior field agent moved closer to her, but made no move to touch her.

"Why don't you hit me with your best shot?" Ziva encouraged.

"You'd probably be wanted for manslaughter if I did."

Ziva considered it. "True. Fire away."

Tony blanched. "You still want to do this?"

Behind the wall surrounding Tim's desk where Abby, Elf Lord himself, and Jimmy Palmer were hiding, Abby gave a little excited squeal. "Oh, my God, it's finally happening! I just knew they were going to cave in someday!"

"Yeah but, in the bullpen?" McGee asked incredulously from where he was crouching between her and Palmer.

"Shut up," Abby hissed. "I want to see what happens next." She popped her head out to the side so she had a clear view of the two co-workers. Jimmy covered his eyes. "If they do it, please don't tell me."

You come on with a come on, you don't fight fair
But that's O.K., see if I care
Knock me down it's all in vain
I'll get right back on my feet again

Ziva's eyes by now looked like slits, but she turned away and acted as if she wasn't bothered. "Yes, but if you don't want to . . ."

A smile eased over her face as she felt Tony's hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. Perfect. The probationary agent grabbed his arm, twirled behind him, and brought Tony's right arm against his back in an uncomfortable postiton. He retaliated by sweeping her legs out from under her, knocking her down.

From where she was watching out of sight, Abby's mouth dropped open. "That so wasn't what I was expecting."

"What?" Jimmy asked against his better judgment, looking through his fingers.

Abby ignored him. "McGee, can you film this? This is brilliant."

"Uh, sure," he said, reluctantly handing over his cell phone. The Gothic forensic scientist snatched it out of his hand eagerly and started filming as Ziva leaped to her feet, hands clenched into fists.

Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away

"Come on," she goaded Tony. "This time, hit me with your best shot."

"Forget it. You'll just kick my tail." He turned and started heading back to his desk, then tripped over Ziva's foot, which she had discreetly stuck in his path.

Tony glared up at her. "What was that for?" Without waiting for her answer, he clambered to his feet and continued heading to his desk.

While she was watching the drama unfold, a thought suddenly occured to Abby. "Where's Gibbs?"

Surprisingly, it was the Autopsy Gremlin who answered. "He's down in Autopsy with Dr. Mallard. You know how he is when he starts spinning a yarn."

The other two exchanged a knowing glance, then refocused on Tony and Ziva.

Ziva had planted herself in front of her partner's desk, and she wasn't showing any signs of moving.

"Well, you're the real tough cookie with the long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case
You better make sure you put me in my place"

Three out of five jaws hung slack. Abby and McGee exchanged shocked glances. Tim whispered, "Is she singing 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot'?"

"I think so. What's worse is the fact that she's practically daring him to . . .," Abby replied, her voice trailing off. Timothy didn't need her to elaborate on the mental image.

"She has a lipstick case?" Jimmy wondered aloud.

Abby couldn't help it. She cracked up, causing Palmer to look over with a confused expression. "What did I say?"

While Abby was trying to sober up, McGee quickly explained, "It's a song, Palmer."

"Oh," the other geek said slowly.

Then Abby sobered up quick as Ziva started tormenting Tony again:

"Hit me with your best shot
Come on hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away"

"Yep, I think it's safe to say she's singing 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot,' " Abby commented, shooting a searching glance over her shoulder for Gibbs. When she was positive the coast was clear, she turned back to their own personal soap. Currently, the two stars were almost touching, Tony seeming to restrain himself.

"What are you guys doing?"

The three eavesdroppers froze and turned to see who it was. Jimmy almost gave their position away to Tony and Ziva, he jumped so high. Abby relaxed as she saw Director Jenny Shepard. "Get down," she hissed, motioning for the redhead to join them.

Jenny did, wondering what the heck was going on.

Abby read her in while she was continuing filming the two co-workers. When she finished, the normally-serious director was debating whether to fire them or tell them to post the video on YouTube.

Meanwhile, the objects of their fascination were at it again. Palmer covered his eyes again, whimpering, "I can't watch! Tell me when the scary part's over."

Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away

Ziva ducked a swing from her partner and straightened to find herself drowning in his green gaze, their lips centimeters apart. A few centimeters closer and . . . What was she thinking? No way. This is not happening. Yet she found herself wanting him to kiss her.

After an agonizing moment, she felt his lips on hers. Ziva was slightly startled by the fact she was moving closer, but she didn't try to move away. She let out a small moan as his hands roamed over her back, bringing her ever closer.

"Woo! Go, Ziva!" Abby and Jenny cheered, totally ruining the blissful moment. Realizing that they'd given away their position, the forensic scientist and NCIS director exchanged horrified glances. "Oh, crap."

"Do you think they're on to us?" McGee asked.

All four of them peered over the wall to see DiNozzo and David staring in their direction. "See something you like?" they said at the same time.

"I'd say they're on to us," Director Shepard replied.

"Run for it!" Abby cried, leaping up and making her exit. Tim and Jimmy were hard on her heels, the director a few feet behind.

The elevator doors opened to reveal Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He walked out in time to see his middle agent, the Goth, and the Autopsy Gremlin flee down the hall and Jen coming toward him.

"Director," he asked, "would you care to tell me why some of my team are acting like teenagers?"

She smiled. "It'd be easier to show you."

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