Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Dreaming in reality
chapter 4 yes it tis enjoy R+R
"I..I want to say yes..."
I slightly crawled backwards
"what do you mean if you want to then is it a yes?"
He asked puzzled
"I dont know that I'm ready its my first time an-"
"It's mine too we can both go through it together "
I smiled a little then sniffled and thought what if he's playing me everyone always did that but I didn't notice till the very end I couldn't do that again
"No I can't I'm not really just give me some time....I need time to think"
I stood up and walked further into the alley clueless were I was headed when I looked back I saw him I saw gerard and he had his face burried in his hands
/no I'm not going to let him guilt me even if he not meaning it I won't turn around/
But before I was able to continue to walk forward I walked back to Gerard and I hugged him and teared up I was so depressed and confused I didn't know what to do I think I loved him no I need to know I loved him
He looked down at me and kissed my cheek then whispered in my ear
"I love you"
/I had never been told that not even by my own parents sad right/
He looked at me to see if I had heard him I nodded and cried
"what's the matter,why are you so upset?"
" I dont want to talk about it" I snapped at him I'd never done that before no not to him I backed away from him I pushed away from his grip and ran home crying
I have no one but I have him that's all I have I can't lose him I'll be broken i took out my hand pencil sharpener and unscrewed the blade from the plastic with my thumb nail and after I had only the blade I set it on my skin and let it slide across my wrist
/I'd been cutting since I was 10 maybe younger I had always bees troubled and depressed for most of my life I don't remember what had made me break in to pieces I then re-enacted the cutting spree from a couple of nights ago but this time I was going leave myself with scars to remind me of this
scar r u ok I'm worried about u
how could he just text me I the middle of my spree now I felt horrible I dropped my blade wiping away some tears and texted him back
no I'm not
I then relized how late it was 12:36 my clock had on it
meet me at the park now
I needed to tell him I was being torn apart and he wanted to fix me I had to let him try
k b there in a min I grab my smashing pumpkins hoodie and slip on my black converse and start walking to the park
now I have to tell him I can't lie I can't hide from him anymore
Before I knew it I was at the park at surprisingly Gerard was there first
When he saw me he sprinted towards me and hugged me tight that just made me feel worse I had scared him
"Are you okay"
he asked urgently
"I.....I don't k-know" I sobbed out
He grabbed my head and pulled me into a kiss
I just stood there not sure what to do
"I..I want to say yes..."
I slightly crawled backwards
"what do you mean if you want to then is it a yes?"
He asked puzzled
"I dont know that I'm ready its my first time an-"
"It's mine too we can both go through it together "
I smiled a little then sniffled and thought what if he's playing me everyone always did that but I didn't notice till the very end I couldn't do that again
"No I can't I'm not really just give me some time....I need time to think"
I stood up and walked further into the alley clueless were I was headed when I looked back I saw him I saw gerard and he had his face burried in his hands
/no I'm not going to let him guilt me even if he not meaning it I won't turn around/
But before I was able to continue to walk forward I walked back to Gerard and I hugged him and teared up I was so depressed and confused I didn't know what to do I think I loved him no I need to know I loved him
He looked down at me and kissed my cheek then whispered in my ear
"I love you"
/I had never been told that not even by my own parents sad right/
He looked at me to see if I had heard him I nodded and cried
"what's the matter,why are you so upset?"
" I dont want to talk about it" I snapped at him I'd never done that before no not to him I backed away from him I pushed away from his grip and ran home crying
I have no one but I have him that's all I have I can't lose him I'll be broken i took out my hand pencil sharpener and unscrewed the blade from the plastic with my thumb nail and after I had only the blade I set it on my skin and let it slide across my wrist
/I'd been cutting since I was 10 maybe younger I had always bees troubled and depressed for most of my life I don't remember what had made me break in to pieces I then re-enacted the cutting spree from a couple of nights ago but this time I was going leave myself with scars to remind me of this
scar r u ok I'm worried about u
how could he just text me I the middle of my spree now I felt horrible I dropped my blade wiping away some tears and texted him back
no I'm not
I then relized how late it was 12:36 my clock had on it
meet me at the park now
I needed to tell him I was being torn apart and he wanted to fix me I had to let him try
k b there in a min I grab my smashing pumpkins hoodie and slip on my black converse and start walking to the park
now I have to tell him I can't lie I can't hide from him anymore
Before I knew it I was at the park at surprisingly Gerard was there first
When he saw me he sprinted towards me and hugged me tight that just made me feel worse I had scared him
"Are you okay"
he asked urgently
"I.....I don't k-know" I sobbed out
He grabbed my head and pulled me into a kiss
I just stood there not sure what to do
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