FicWad

(Kendall’s POV)



**



The cold metal of the handcuff kept me wide awake, constantly aware of my surroundings. I was on my side, facing away from Frank. My wrist that was cuffed to the bed was held slightly up, as to avoid the pressure of the cold metal against my skin. I learned quickly that it was a little painful and as I got sleepy I kept slipping up, and now my wrist burned a little.

I couldn’t hear any signs that Frank was asleep or awake. He was completely quiet, and I was too frightened to turn and face him. I didn’t want to really gain his attention, but here soon I would have to. I was uncomfortable as hell, and I did need to use the restroom. I wasn’t used to having to plan it before bed. I was used to freedom while in bed, and now I was tethered in place like a dog being kept outside.

I always felt bad for them before, but now I had a whole new understanding.

I shifted again, crying out as the metal scraped against my skin. At least the throbbing in my wrist took away from the emotional pain that I wasn’t quite ready to feel. I was afraid of where that would lead, and what it would do to me. Right now I needed to be strong because I had no idea what this freak had in mind.

“What’s wrong?” Frank asked, nearly making me jump again. So he wasn’t asleep…

“My wrist hurts.” I replied softly. Goosebumps erupted upon my skin as Frank reached out and took hold of my wrist. There was some movement from his side of the bed and then the handcuff clicked open and my wrist fell in to his hand, as he held it softly. It seemed like he was examining it, and it was quite sore to the touch.

“This isn’t going to work.” Frank finally commented.

Those words sent a cold chill through my body. I didn’t understand what they meant. The first thing my exhausted brain flipped to was, he’s going to kill me.

He kept gently brushed his fingers across my wrist, “I’m sorry.” He continued to speak, surprising me. An apology? I didn’t see that coming. “I didn’t know it would hurt you like this. It was just a temporary solution until I found something better but this, this won’t work.” He let go of my wrist and with another soft clatter I heard him dropping the handcuffs somewhere. I turned just in time to see him locking his bedside table, the cuffs safely inside. He had everything so planned out. How was he so sick?

“You look so tired.” He sounded just as tired.

“Just keep those compliments rolling.” I sarcastically responded. “Where is the bathroom?”

“Down the hall. Would you like me to show you?” Frank was sitting up now, and at his bare chest all I could now feel was shame. I was the one invited him to my home, and I was the one who let him in. I was the reason my parents were dead, because without the information I’d given him by bringing him home… they’d have been safe, where they should have been safe.

“No.” I rubbed my hands together, finding the room to be cold. Or maybe that was just me. “I don’t feel well. I think I’m going to take a bath. Is that okay?” I didn’t want him to come searching for me. I just wanted to be away from him.

“Of course.” Frank answered, “Come get me if you need anything.”

I just nodded as I crawled out of bed. I continued to move my wrist around now that it was free from its bindings. I knew it would bruise though. It was bright red for the time being.

The house was nice, with a cozy feeling to it. I felt that was just a lie though; there was nothing cozy about this situation. Frank was just trying to make it cozy, but I had no idea why.

Down the hall I easily found the bathroom but I continued on, wanting to explore a little. The living room was nice and open, nothing other than a couch and a television occupying it. Across from the living room was the dining room, with a table. After that I walked in to the kitchen, which was fully equipped. Where were Frank’s parents? Did he kill his own parents too? I doubled back to the living room and after listening for any sounds from Frank I tried the door, finding it locked. Unlike other doors though… this one didn’t seem to have the locks on the right side, and I found myself unable to unlock the door.

There was just a key hole, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to get the key from Frank without him noticing. Feeling as if I had no hope I went back to the bathroom, finding relief that this door had a lock. I quickly locked it and breathed out, relaxing just a little.

The window wasn’t big enough to climb out of, and even if it had been… it was too high up. I couldn’t even look out of it. I was trapped. He was good at what he did, obviously. He had this all fucking planned out, but why?

After searching every single item in the bathroom I found that pretty much everything had a double, and I figured it was for me. How long had this been planned out? I was brushing my teeth as I continued to look, and that’s when I found a package of lady razors.

The idea was absurd at first. I’d never wanted to die before, and the idea of harming myself was less than desirable but… what kind of future did I face with this man? Part of me was terrified to find out, and that part was stronger than the part of me that just wanted to live.

I opened the package, leaving my toothbrush on the counter. It was a long and painful process as I tore the small blades out of the shaving instrument. I knicked a few of my fingers and winced at the pain, wondering if I’d even be able to go through with this.

“Kendall?” Frank’s voice nearly made me drop everything in to the bathtub. “Are you okay in there?”

I took a calming breath before responding, “I’m about to shower.” I couldn’t hide a damn thing. The words cracked and broke apart, as my voice faded part way through.

The door knob was pressured to turn but the lock kept Frank out, for now. “Open the door. You don’t sound so good.”

“I’m going to shower.” I replied, “I don’t want you in here.”

“Open the damn door.” Frank yelled, slamming his fist against the door. “I don’t like the use of locks.”

“You seem to like them a lot.” I shot back, feeling a sense of confidence as I stared at the door. For now I was safe from Frank and all he had was words.

“Damn it Kendall, I’m not in the mood to argue with a fucking door. Open up. You can shower in the morning.” Frank called.

I didn’t say anything as I turned on the water, letting it drown him out. I tried to focus on nothing, wondering what being dead would be like. I kept my clothing on as I climbed in to the shower. The water was ice cold. I hadn’t even bothered with temperature control. I didn’t want this but I needed it. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do whatever Frank wanted, and I knew he wanted something. Otherwise he wouldn’t have gone through so much trouble. He wouldn’t have killed my parents, but he did… and it was because of me. Somehow it was because of me, and now their deaths were on me.

As I closed my eyes I felt the blade move dangerously close to the skin upon my wrist. I tried to think of music, and better times. I tried to think of a place without pain or loss, and a place where I couldn’t be handcuffed to a fucking bed by a madman. I pressed down, biting my lip to keep from crying out. As far as pain went I was a light weight, and a wimp at best. I tried to press down a little harder before I pulled the blade away.

The wound stung, and the water washed the blood away but more kept coming. I kept my eyes trained on the blood, watching as the water diluted it, turning it pink. Then it went down the drain and the process continued on. The wound wasn’t large enough to cause the damage I intended. My hand shook as I tried to bring the blade back to my wrist.

How the hell did people do this? It took a strength I certainly didn’t have.

I breathed in and pressed down, right above the first cut. I was right on my wrist now, and hoping for the worst. Frank started knocking again. “I’m not going anywhere.” That’s why I was doing this.

I pressed down hard and cried out as the blade tore across my skin. My eyes flew open again mid-cut as the blood started pouring out. I was so focused that I didn’t hear the door open but Frank caught my attention when he pulled the shower curtain open and gazed at me.

For a torturous second he simply stared, saying nothing. Then as what was happening became obvious to him he leaned down and roughly grabbed on to the wrist that held the blade. I let go, letting the blade fall in to the tub. Frank didn’t let go as he used that wrist to pull me out of the shower. I watched the way the water clung to his hair, drenching his upper-body. The bathroom was going to be wet. The thought seemed absurd but I couldn't help it. It was the only normal part about any of this.

Once we were out of the shower he let go and I backed against the wall, unsure as to what to do now. He wasn’t supposed to find me until I was finished. This was all wrong, and I was still stuck. Frank continued staring with an unreadable expression upon his face. Then he reached out, taking my cut wrist. He was gentle about it as he turned my wrist over and stared at the cuts. We didn’t exchange words as he pulled me over to the sink and began washing the cuts. The water hit and I winced, but he held me in place.

Under the sink was a first aid kit I’d noticed when I was snooping. He opened it and pulled out some Neosporin, which stung slightly as it was applied. Then he wrapped gaze around my wrist, covering both cuts. Once it was taped on he let go and just stared at me again.

“Am I going to have to make you fear me?” Frank finally asked. The question sent shivers through my body, and goose bumps quickly formed. Were things not already bad enough?

I didn’t say anything. Frank ran his fingers through his hair and let out a large sigh. “Answer me.” His words didn’t have any push behind them though. He sounded exhausted.

“H-how?”

Frank seemed surprised by the question and he didn’t answer immediately. “Um.” He licked his lips, and for a second I saw a scared guy… clueless and powerless. Who was Frank, really? “I don’t like hitting women.” Frank commented softly. He moved closer to me and I backed against the wall again, finding myself trapped against him. “But if it’ll keep you in line then I might just have to make an exception.”

I stared in to his eyes as I decided now was a great time to push. He was tired and losing control- already so soon. Was he a mastermind, or an idiot that planned this last minute? I couldn’t tell. Everyone got tired though. “So you killed my parents just so that you could keep me around and beat me up?” The idea of Frank hitting me wasn’t really all that frightening, when he made it so clear that he didn’t want to do it. I didn’t believe that he would.

I jumped as Frank’s hand came down upon the wall. I was trembling but trying so hard to hide it. When push came to shove I wasn’t just going to roll over. I was stronger than that, because of my parents. They didn’t raise me for this. “I’ll only do it if I have to.” Frank answered.

“Then do it.” I snapped, “Don’t pretend you have to though because that’s bullshit, and we both know it. You don’t have to hold me against my will, and you didn’t have to kill my parents, and you sure as hell don’t have to hit me.”

Frank’s hand twitched but he kept it at his side. “Well I have you, and your parents are dead.” His tone was ice cold, and his words stabbed at every emotion I’d tried to hold back. “I’m all you have, so fucking get used to it.”

“I hate you.” I whispered, “And I don’t want to be here.” I held my wrist up. “If I had it my way I wouldn’t be here, because being dead is better than being with you.”

Frank breathed in sharply and turned his head to the side as if I’d hit him. Good, I’m glad that hurt. If I could really hurt him then I would, but I didn’t know how. All I had were my words, and those were something that he could never take from me.

“If that’s what you think then I’m obviously doing this all wrong.” Frank replied, as he grabbed on to my uninjured wrist. It was red from the handcuff but it wasn’t the one I’d cut in to. I quickly walked along with him to keep from tripping. I didn’t think he’d stop if I fell. We walked to the kitchen, and to a door that I’d tried to open but found was locked. Frank searched his pocket for a second before shoving a key in to the lock. “I didn’t want to do this.” He muttered.

Inside the room was dark but Frank flipped on a light, temporarily blinding me. The light seemed brighter than an average light and the room still seemed dark with it on. It was a stereotypical creepy basement at first, until things got really fucked up. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs I refused to move. My eyes were glued to the chains across the room. He had fucking chains. No way.

Who was this guy?

“Keep moving.” Frank snapped.

“No.” I replied, standing completely still. The room terrified me, and I wasn’t willingly going any further. At least if I was dead there wouldn’t be this fear. I was terrified, and my future wasn’t any brighter.

Frank stopped and let go of my wrist, but I was too frightened to even run. What was the point? I wouldn’t outrun him, and even if I did the front door was fucking locked and he obviously had a key to the bathroom door lock. I couldn’t hide. I was trapped.

“I bet the bed upstairs seems a lot more enticing now, doesn’t it? I bet right now you’d just love to come back to bed with me.” His words were cruel, but true. I didn’t want to be down here for another second.

I didn’t answer him though. I wouldn’t give him that.

He grabbed on to my arm again and pulled me with him down the last step. I attempted to pull away from him to no avail, he was stronger. I tried using my hands to shove against his body but both of my wrists hurt and I wasn’t giving it my all. As a last ditch effort I brought my fist back and then crashed it against his jaw. He stumbled back in surprise and then gazed at me angrily. I was pretty sure I was going to die, because the look he was giving me wasn’t full of happiness.

He grabbed for me again and I slapped him, desperately trying to keep him away. I didn’t want to be down here. I didn’t like cold, dark places especially when they had fucking chains. Instead of struggling with me he simply shoved me, hard. My back hit the wall with force but I didn’t make a sound. I hated him.

“Sit down.”

“No.” Why would I do anything he asked?

“Do it, or I’ll make you.” Okay, so that’s why.

I sat down on the cold filthy floor. My clothing was still soaked, making the cold air just that much more freezing against my slowly drying skin.

Frank grabbed my ankle first and I swallowed down my panic as he chained it. The cold metal was heavy, and I didn’t even want to try to move my leg now. He reached for the other leg and I couldn’t help myself. I kicked at him, terrified of having both legs chained. He let out a sound of frustration and fought with my leg. He won. I lost. Both legs were chained. It took him less time to chain my wrists. It was at an awkward angle, and each arm was held up above my head. The chains were a little loose compared to the handcuffs, so they didn’t hurt as badly- and the cuts on my wrist weren’t being brushed against. It still reminded me of some silly torture act in a horrible television show. I didn’t want to believe that it was real.

Frank stood up.

“Where are you going?” I didn’t mean to sound so frightened, but I couldn’t help it. The situation didn’t inspire much confidence.

He crouched down so that our faces were inches apart, “You’d rather die than be with me, right?” he threw my words right back in my face. “This is just a break sweetheart.”

I didn’t say anything, but I wanted to beg him to stay. I didn’t want to be down here, and I definitely didn’t want to be down here alone. He took my silence as a goodbye and stood back up. I watched helplessly as he walked up the stairs. Soon all I had in my mind was the echo of his footsteps on the stairs. The light went out. My senses went in to overdrive. I kept hearing things. I wondered about mice, what about spiders? I felt things on my arms, but I knew nothing was there… Or was something? I couldn’t knock it away. I couldn’t move.

“Please come back!” I finally yelled, the terror getting to me. My entire body was shaking. It was a mixture of the fear and the cold. I just wanted to be anywhere else, just not down here. I continued screaming uselessly, begging for Frank to come back- screaming that I hated him. The words mixed together, and my voice became tired and my throat raw.

I hated him.



**



(Frank’s POV)



I let out an exhausted sigh and sank to the ground, letting my back fall against the basement door. I didn’t feel comfortable being away from her, and going to bed without her just wouldn’t feel right. I was supposed to protect her, but I didn’t know I’d have to protect her from herself too. How was I supposed to know that she was crazy, and resourceful enough to try to kill herself?

What if I had been too late?

I was angry, and I was scared. I couldn’t let her die. I did care about her. I wanted her to be my wife. I wanted to protect her from this messed up world, and make her mine.

Eventually… eventually she would get it.

For tonight I had to let her calm down in a safe environment though, and tomorrow I would figure things out.

I leaned my head against the door and closed my eyes, listening to her scream that she hated me. Each word hurt, but there was nothing I could do.

This was how my world worked, and eventually she’d just have to get that.

It was the only way.



**



(So I wanted to put an attempted suicide warning but I didn’t want to ruin the chapter, so I apologize to anyone that this offended. I really hope it didn’t offend anyone, but in the event that it did… I am sorry!)