FicWad

-Tonight we’ll change our lives; it’s so good to be by your side.-



*



Mikey’s POV



The cool night air caressed our bodies as we gazed up at the stars. “Are you going to make a wish?” I whispered.

Taylor giggled, “I don’t see a shooting star.”

“I just wish on any star.” I informed her. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Taylor was silent for a second but then she giggled again, “Wish made.”

“What was it?”

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true!” Taylor argued.

“You know I’m falling in love with you, right?” I kept my gaze focused on the stars overhead, because I knew the look on Taylor’s face would probably make my confidence crumble.

Instead I was forced to look at her as I heard a loud thump. I quickly slid off of the hood of my car and rushed to the side where Taylor had fallen. She was sitting on the ground but she refused my help as she stared up at me, with widened eyes. “Please Mikey.” She licked her lips.

“I’m not going to lie about it.” I replied. “Every second I spend with you brings me a step closer to falling in love with you, and I’m falling fast. When the circumstances are right it doesn’t take much- and I can’t change the way that I feel about you.”

Taylor shook her head, “You don’t even know me!”

“You’re wrong.” I replied softly, “I know you Taylor, inside and out.”

Taylor kept shaking her head and in complete shock I realized tears were dripping down her cheeks. She was crying.

“I’m falling in love with you Taylor, and I want to be with you. I honestly feel like you belong with me, under these stars, until we grow old and die.”

Taylor looked lost, and trapped- and the emotion portrayed through her eyes tore at me because it was a completely different side of her. “I want to go home.” She finally whispered.

“Taylor, can we just- can we talk about this?” I held my hand out, hoping desperately that she’d take it. She didn’t though, and as I reached for her I realized that was a bad idea. My hand closed around her wrist and I tried to pull her to her feet.

“Don’t touch me!” Taylor snapped. She quickly shoved me away and I stumbled back, but since I had a hold of her she came stumbling with me, and we tumbled down a somewhat steep hill together. I kept hold of Taylor as I tried to stop us from falling but all my efforts gained us was scrapes from the rocks and tree branches.

I finally gained some solid ground and skidded to a stop, pulling Taylor with me. She stumbled again, falling against my chest. I rubbed against a tree, which I held on to. Thankfully Taylor didn’t struggle. “Are you okay?” I finally asked.

“No.” She whispered.

“What hurts?” I gazed at her, seeing numerous scrapes.

“You.” Taylor replied, as she looked away from me. “You’re hurting me.”

Ouch.

“I-“ I let her go but kept close enough to ensure that she wouldn’t fall backwards. Together we climbed up the steep hill, ignoring our scratches and my bruised ego. I couldn’t think of the right words, when I’d already so stupidly spoken the wrong words. How could I tell her that? It was too soon, and she didn’t feel the same. It was too soon and now I sounded like a jackass.

I ruined everything.

“So, I’m guessing the night is over then?” I weakly asked once we reached the car. Taylor’s ankle was bleeding and she had a large gash on the side of her thigh. The dress had ripped, and her hair was a mess after the fall- but she still looked perfect to me, possibly even more so now.

“Please just take me back.” Taylor whispered.

“Does your leg hurt?” I moved closer to her and she stepped away.

“I’m not worried about it.”

“I am.” I replied.

Taylor stepped closer to me again. I shivered under her soft touch as she ran her fingers over my jaw. “Kiss me.” I didn’t need to be told twice. I eagerly brought my lips to hers and kissed her gently. The spark was there for me, but was it there for her?

“What did you feel?” Taylor asked as I pulled away.

“Butterflies.” I admitted, feeling weak and lame. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t want me. I wasn’t the kind of guy girls like her went for, but neither was Gerard. Neither of us were tough, or ripped. I was emotional, and wore my heart on my sleeve- especially when it came to her. Now it was like she was wearing my heart on her sleeve, and I was totally open and on display. It was true that it didn’t take me long to make connections, but usually my actual connections stayed connected.

Would she stay?

I already knew she wouldn’t.

Taylor’s voice hardened. “I didn’t feel anything Mikey, and you need to take me back now.”





**



The drive was torture and Taylor didn’t say anything. “Can we just talk about this?” I asked, once again. I felt like getting down on my knees and begging, and I just might if it got bad enough. She couldn’t just walk away, that felt wrong to me.

There was a spark- I wasn’t just making it up. She had to be fucking numb to not feel it, and blind, and deaf- because the way we felt about each other was explosive to every single fucking sense I had.

“I think you’ve said enough.” Taylor softly commented.

“And you haven’t said anything!” My voice rose and Taylor jumped, probably surprised. I didn’t get angry often, but when I did it was obvious.

“What else do I have to say? I want you to leave me alone.” Those words kind of killed me inside.

“Is that really what you want?” I quietly asked.

“Yes.” Taylor whispered.





The car stopped and she dashed out before I could say anything else. I slumped in my seat and stared at the place that we were staying. The rest of this family reunion was going to suck, and seeing Taylor with Gerard was going to sting.

But that was just how things were sometimes.

Life had the tendency to suck, and sometimes being honest got you nowhere.





**



(Taylor’s POV)



The second the door closed behind me the tears started. They blinded me, clogging up my nose. I was starting to sniffle already, and an itch began in my throat. I was going to fucking sob.

You know I’m falling in love with you, right?

The first sob broke free and I fell to the ground on my scraped knees. I didn’t care about the pain as I buried my face in my hands. I had nothing to hold on to, and no one to call because this was just a lie and the feelings I had weren’t supposed to exist- and everything I’d been supposedly faking was real to me.

You know I’m falling in love with you, right?

With a scream of frustration I pulled at my hair, quickly giving up on that as I slammed my fist against the hard wall. It hurt more than I expected and I felt foolish, which was to be expected. After that I didn’t give up though. The words echoed, haunting me.

You know I’m falling in love with you, right?

I stood on shaky legs and the first thing that caught my attention was an ugly lamp beside the bed. I grabbed it, ripping the cord from the wall. It was lighter than I’d have guessed and it flew across the room easily, smashing in to the wall. Some of the wall paper scraped off, and still I did not stop. I couldn’t stop.

You know I’m falling in love with you, right?

Another sob, and a cry of fury. The next thing I threw was something of Gerard’s but I didn’t care. I just wanted to cause damage. I just wanted something other than my heart to hurt. It wasn’t until the entire room was trashed that I finally stopped.

I fell to my knees and continued to cry.

You know I’m falling in love with you, right?

“You know, I think I am too.” I whispered miserably.

There was a gentle knock on the door that I barely heard above my pitiful sobbing, but it didn’t matter because Mikey wasn’t waiting for an answer. He walked in and glanced around. “I heard the commotion. I figured I’d let you battle it out with the room before I came over.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, not even looking at him. “I’ll fix it.”

“No, you won’t.” Mikey answered as he walked around me. I stayed kneeling upon the floor. Seconds later Mikey dropped to his knees in front of me on the floor. “I’ll fix it.” Mikey promised, as he brushed the hair that had fallen in to my face away.

I didn’t say anything as I stared in to Mikey’s eyes. They were captivating and filled with understanding. He was compassionate- and I was in love with who he was, and how he felt.

But was I falling in love with him?

I think I was.

“Can I clean your cuts?” Mikey asked. “I already took care of mine.”

I didn’t look away from him. “I’m scared.”

“It won’t hurt too badly.” Mikey offered, “If it stings you can always pinch me. I hear inflicting pain can sometimes make our own pain a little more bearable.”

“I’m afraid of how you feel, and now everything’s ruined.” But he didn’t really understand what I meant, because I couldn’t tell him- and I never would. It would just make him hate me more.

Mikey frowned, though not once had he smiled upon entering the room. “I’m sorry that my feelings scare you. If it makes it any better they scare me too, and it hurts to know that I’ll never get the girl but… that’s not your fault. It’s just the way things are. I told you that I’d back off after our date and I’m backing off but- I never said I wouldn’t be honest about my feelings, and honesty is one thing that I’ll always give you.”

That stung enough to make the tears rebuild in my eyes because honesty was something that I’d never given Mikey, and something that I probably never would.

“Keep crying and I’m going to fuck you as if we just got married.” Mikey warned.

My eyes widened in surprise, “Why exactly would that help?”

“It would make me feel better.” Mikey replied.

“In here?” I glanced at the bed. It was the one thing in the room that had not been touched.

“Yes.” Mikey answered.

“But-“

Mikey’s lips crashed against mine, “No.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me up off of the ground. “I’m going to fuck you where he’s fucked you, in a way that he probably never will.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant but I got the idea soon enough as Mikey pushed me forward. My upper-body rested upon the bed, as my legs stayed on the ground. Mikey pushed my dress up and slid my underwear off. “You’ve got such a sexy ass, and I swear this will make us both feel better.”

“How?” I asked. I didn’t really feel comfortable, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable either.

“It’ll make this a little easier for us both, because I’m going to use you like I should have the first time.” I heard Mikey unzip his jeans. “You want something that doesn’t mean anything, and so that’s what I’ll give you.”

It was a little too late for that.

Mikey paused, but I could feel him pressing against me. “Can I?” He could never just use me. That just wasn’t Mikey.

“Yes.” I breathed out, realizing that my body was craving him.

But I didn’t get what I want.

Mikey pulled away, “Trust me; this is what I should have done the first time.” He zipped his jeans back up and I turned to look at him. He did look apologetic.

“I’m sorry I hurt you-“ I started, but was cut off.

“And I’m sorry that I hurt you too.” Mikey replied. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “The first aid kit is in the bathroom under the sink.” With that he left, leaving the shattered pieces of who I’d worked so hard to be.







It didn’t take long to clean my cuts, and Mikey was right- what he did made things a little easier. I was upset, instead of crying. Once I hit the bed the crying returned though, and when I heard the door open I thought Gerard had come back early.

It wasn’t Gerard though.

I could make out the faint outline of Mikey, and I could smell him before he even hit the bed.

It was a dangerous move for us to make but still I moved over, and he wrapped his arms around me. “I can’t just leave you hanging.” Mikey whispered, with a gentle kiss.

I tried so hard not to fall in love, but I was falling now- and I was falling hard.